Looking at the stars helps the loneliness

30. English grad with 5000 ideas and no purpose. Come scream at me about my fic, I dont bite! Definitely getting gayer by the day. Obsess easily and readily over pretty much anything. Writing

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

the descendants movies are so crazy because the premise is literally what if all of the disney animated movies happened at the same time and afterwards the Good Guys resurrected all of their villains to give them a life sentence on a penal colony island where the only natural resource is an unlimited supply of pleather

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

it's like 99% about how the kids of the various disney princesses® going to school together and having cellphones but also cruella de vil's bleach-haired bastard son is there. who even asked for cruella to be included. were the working class human protagonists from 101 dalmatians involved in the construction of the penal colony or did the dogs represent themselves. and how does cruella successful manage hobnobbing with three actual evil wizards. the series starts 20 years later so they can all have fuckass little kids going to school so maybe it's been long enough for those kinds of barriers to be broken down but it seems crazy that three genuine article practitioners of the dark arts let a woman whose main claim to notoriety was "failing to kill a vast quantity of puppies" into the friend group. and by friend group I mean a polycule barely a step above the grandparents from charlie and the chocolate factory in terms of functionality.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

in like the first 60 seconds you learn that after all of the disney animated movies happened at the same time all of the protagonists decided to merge their kingdoms into one mega kingdom and they democratically elected the beast, as in beauty and the, to be their Mega King who's more in charge than everyone else. the sociopolitical implications of all of the disney royalty deciding to surrender sovereignty to become The Empire of the Beast are kind of mind-blowing but it's hard to focus on that because new teenagers keep showing up and announcing "my name is Mo. you know, the daughter of Quasimodo?" I guess everyone defining themselves so strictly in terms of parentage and family line is sort of what you'd expect from a society that's basically structured the same was as game of thrones but christ.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

the main plot of the first movie is that the 16 year old heir to the Empire of the Beast is about to be crowned god emperor while he's still in high school (why?) and reveals he has a bit of an abolitionist streak re: his parents' horrific penal colony. which is cool and all, it really seems like he must have had to fight against propaganda like a salmon swimming upstream to arrive at the conclusion that the penal colony is a little uncool. but also pretty immediately after he lets four villain kids into society maleficent's purple haired ne'er-do-well hits him with a love potion that leads him to unceremoniously dump his long-term girlfriend (baby sleeping beauty) in an extremely public spectacle after The Big Game. please my liege I know you're entranced by her purple hair and edgy spray painting but sleeping beauty is calling her bannermen to arms. this insult will not stand. also the effects of the love potion wear off almost immediately but he doesn't say ANYTHING and just lets his new gf keep sweating about having him ensorcelled until she brings it up herself, at which point he confirms that he's been aware for A While and is cool with her (successfully!!!) slipping him a magic roofie. they just keep dating and the only person mad about it is the girl who got dumped in front of the entire school.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

the plot of the second movie is that maleficent jr is trying so hard to assimilate into normie culture (ie, being blond and wearing pastels) to be a good paramour to the new teen emperor that she has a nervous breakdown and runs away back to the penal colony. there she immediately finds herself beefing with ursula's daughter, who is big pissed that only four kids got to leave the penal colony and everyone else for left to rot. she decides to right this wrong by ALSO hitting the teen emperor with a love spell and gets /this/ close to successfully making him open the borders in front of everyone at prom before some bullshit circumstances happen and instead there's a fight between a giant cgi dragon and a giant cgi octopus girl. for the record the teen emperor is also not that mad about THIS love spell either and he does immediately concede that the octopus girl is a passionate community leader who raises valid concerns about his failure to follow through on his initial promise of amnesty for the children of the penal colony. he does get back with maleficent's daughter though, who has decided to be purple again to show that she now confidently lives in two cultures.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I've been talking a lot about maleficent's kid and you might be thinking "now what about the rest of her inseparable teen polycule" and I'm sorry to say that they simply are not getting as much sparkle as their colleague.

the evil queen from snow white's daughter has the next meatiest storyline, probably because these movies primarily exist to sell fashion dolls that can compete with mattel and they need kids to really like the girl characters. in the first movie she learns a very important lesson about how she doesn't need to act dumb to impress boys. in the latter two movies she becomes an independent business owner and by far the most politically savvy of the main 4, by which I mean she's the one vocally advocating for liberating the penal colony. she really grows into a very sweet and community-minded young lady and I liked her a lot.

cruella's son gets a dog in the first movie and an implausible heterosexual relationship in the second. in the third one he's just kind of there, although he does seem to have opened a sort of shelter for youths on the penal colony.

jafar's son who I haven't even mentioned yet is mostly there to be tall and do flips. in the first movie he learns that he likes sports more than stealing. in the second movie he forces the school fencing team to stop being sexist and let mulan's daughter join. crazy that sports are that sexist in a world where mulan and like presumably merida exist I guess but whatever. in the third movie he flirts with gaston's dumb-as-ham blond son for a few minutes and the two of them end up deciding to take a gap year and travel the world together which sounds fake but I swear to god is true.

[partywithponies]

My woke take, as someone who has worked in both a public library and a school library, is that we desperately need both more books that are at a higher reading level but a less mature subject matter, and more books that are at a lower reading level but a more mature subject matter, because 8 year olds who are advanced readers are still 8 year olds and don't want to read about graphic violence and torture, and teens and adults who have learning difficulties or who are just later readers for whatever reason are still teens and adults and don't want to read about Billy the Bunny going to school or whatever the hell.

[partywithponies]

Shoutout to people in the notes also mentioning people learning the language, I should've mentioned that really, given that I've been stuck reading German picture books myself while learning German.

[lesbianfl]

the best part of the princess bride is how it says that love is the number one motivation in life but! a close number two is spite.

[cowardsexual]

stratt and grace and the rest of the phm science team running on 4 cumulative hours of sleep at an unscheduled conference. dimitri and lokken are trying to explain a new complication in the hail mary's fueling system and the resources necessary to iron it out but they keep getting interrupted by government officials butting in until grace (who doesn't even look up from his laptop and checked out of the conversation two days ago) snaps "we raise our hands to speak"

complete silence for like 3 seconds. the french prime minister sheepishly raises his hand and stratt smiles for the first time that week (grace buries his entire head behind his laptop screen for wont of a better option, like jumping straight into the sea)

[occudo]

They wear suits, but they don't even know basic etiquette.

Based on @cowardsexual 's post of a very sleepy phm science team and Grace's teacher instincts

[ajaxgb]

Okay no I need to talk about the book version of Howl's Moving Castle. I love the movie but the book has such a different vibe and you, yes you, should read it.

Movie Howl is a soulful and quiet. Book Howl is a drama queen and Causing Problems and has a long string of jilted exes and couldn't shut up if you paid him.

Sophie and Howl drive each other up the wall at the beginning and it's really funny. Sophie and Howl are (despite themselves) very much in love by the end and they still drive each other up the wall and it's even funnier.

In the movie, Howl has been ordered by the king to participate in The War, and Howl is avoiding it because he is a brave conscientious objector. In the book, Howl has been ordered by the king to rescue his lost brother from the Witch of the Wastes, and Howl is avoiding it by any means necessary because he is a cowardly weasel who wants to stay as far from the Witch as possible.

In the movie, the Witch cursed Sophie because she was jealous about Howl speaking to Sophie for five minutes. In the book, the Witch cursed Sophie because Sophie had been doing surprisingly powerful magic for years without knowing it and it was actually starting to cut into the Witch's plans. (Sophie does not discover any of this until nearly the end of the book, but the reader can start to pick it up much earlier and the way Sophie's magic works is pretty darn cool.)

In the movie, there's a rumor that Howl eats the hearts of maidens, but this is implied to be nothing but nasty fearmongering. In the book, there's a rumor that Howl eats the hearts of maidens because Howl started the rumor so people would stop asking him to do wizard junk all the time.

The book lightly parodies a couple of tropes from Western fairy tales. In particular Sophie has internalized that, as the eldest of three sisters, her "destiny" is to fail so that her younger sisters will look cooler when they succeed, which is why she's so resigned to the hat shop at the beginning. (Sidebar: Sophie's sisters come up much more in the book and they're great.) There's also a really funny bit where Sophie attempts to operate a pair of seven-league boots.

In the movie, the fourth and final location that the magic door connects to is some sort of black void / mindscape / time portal dealy. In the book the fourth location is Wales, in the UK, on Earth, so that Howl can visit his family, because from Howl's perspective this is an isekai story.

[everybidenjusthavegoodtime]

*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free

[hotcommunist-deactivated2019032]

invasive species encroach on lesbian territory

[dreaming-shark]

This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.

[ailithnight]

A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfortable cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really “encroaching on another’s territory”. You wouldn’t say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It’s just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.

Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a Lowes or Home Depot, that’s where chaos will reign. Being adapted to a far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club.

[chequerootlurks]

As a former timber-harvester… I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality.

Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together.

This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the LogBoss.

A “pack” of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a LogBoss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory.

Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.

One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs.

Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch.

Getting a “pack” of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok. If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.

Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive.

Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened.

[thatdisasterauthor]

As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100% accurate.

[swindle94]

now how in the FUCK am i supposed to leave tumblr when a god tier post like THIS is just is just waiting for me daily?!?!?!

[fromchaostocosmos]

question where does the “art student” or “DIYer” “crafter” or “soap maker” or “miniaturist“ etc. who has ventured into the store for supplies fall into the ecosystem/what is their impact of said ecosystem?

[terulakimban]

Most of the above are native to craft and hobby stores (art students, historically, are native to museums, but having been introduced to hobby stores, have found a niche for themselves and thrived), but all can be seen in hardware stores on occasion due to territorial overlap. They are generally low-impact, as they tend to stick to specific small areas and primarily utilize different resources. While a large group of any of them can be disruptive (art students, in particular, are known to travel in packs), in general, they are more likely to have territorial disputes with one another than with the local fauna. 

A point of clarity -“crafter” is a bit misleading; while it conjures a specific image, much like ‘fish’ or ‘reptile’ it actually covers a broad array of wildly disparate species, and in general, more descriptive nomenclature is preferred. Fiber artists in particular are a genus to watch out for, particularly in groups. Beware a roving pack of domesticated quilters. They fear nothing, will go anywhere, and due to their social nature, will often seek interaction from other species that thrive best in solitude. They are quite friendly, and will happily adopt members of other species; the concern is that their adoptees do not always wish to be adopted. 

[midrashic]

#in search of taxonomic precision and peaceful coexistence (via welkinalauda)

[kriladoodles]

I do wonder how lesbian/bisexual lumberjack-mimickry fits into this

[marablake]

I can say as a former craft store worker that if you wish to see true fear, look into the eyes of a Dad who must venture into a craft store. Despite the overlap of familiar beings known to him from his native hardware store habitat, Dads are instinctively aware that craft stores are not for them; they contain unfamiliar perils and even the seemingly familiar may have strange variances and unnerving secrets. (”Why is this airbrush so small? What do you mean nails, why would you… WUT!!”)

Only experienced silverbacks or the boldest young Dads dare venture into a craft store for long without his mate or offspring to keep roving Craft Ladies at bay and guide him in this strange ecosystem. If a Dad enters with his mate and is separated from her, he will often scuttle for the seeming familiarity of Woodcrafts, Models, or Paints (the latter not to be confused with Fine Arts, unquestioned territory of art students), but he eyes Scrapbooking and Jewelry with trepidation and will usually venture into those exotic areas only in the company of females of his pack.

Lumberjacks are rarely spotted entering craft stores of their own volition, for while they do not fear it as Dads do, they know it is an environment unsuited for megafauna such as themselves.

Hardware store Lesbians generally adapt more easily to craft stores, although they may enlist another Lesbian of a subspecies more adapted to that environment to guide them until they find their niche. Lesbians have even been known to seek the aid of a Craft Lady, a native fauna that share similarities with Lesbians but are usually smaller and nimbler to suit their chosen habitat. Dads who witness this are often awed by the Lesbians’ temerity, for although larger, Dads are generally wary of the cunning and dexterous Craft Ladies and may mistake their enthusiastic pack greetings as predatory swarming.

Craft Ladies, secure in their ecological niche, have no fear of interlopers and take the presence of non-native beings in stride, although they may become territorial about scarcer resources.

The only truly invasive species that threaten craft stores are Brides-to-Be, who are mere annoyances individually, but like locusts may descend in hordes and lay waste, leaving swathes of destruction in their wake. Fortunately for the Craft Ladies, Brides-to-Be are seasonal and usually only a threat in the spring and early summer.

[link-the-feral-anon]

It Got Better

[fireflyfish]

Is anybody going to address the newly invasive species of BuJo enthusiasts into the craft store/art supply store environment? Why aren’t we talking about the dangerous proliferation of Leuchtturm 1917s and the growing threat of Dotted Moleskins? I had to liberate a Dad from a tangle of washi tape in the art supply store the other day and it wasn’t pretty.

[rpendleton]

The natural habitat of journalers was stationary stores, which have been replaced by office supplies stores, not the same. Journalers invade the craft stores and art supplies stores to get the markers and washi tape and Sakura pens they require for survival.

[greatatuintheworldturtle]

@great-art-and-a-purple-tongue @onbearfeet THE LORE HAS BEEN UPDATED.

[onbearfeet]

VERY IMPORTANT AND ENTIRELY ACCURATE now excuse me I gotta hit Lowes and Michaels.

[gothiccharmschool]

Another thing to note is all of those habitats must adapt to the seasonal migration of goths. As soon as the faintest hint of spooky can be detected at those stores, goths will arrive in packs. A small pack of goths determined to forage can strip the shelves of a seasonal section bare in 30 minutes.

[blaisers]

Too important not to reblog

[moniquill]

I for one stand in fascinated trepidation to see how the major habitat destruction wrought by the loss of JoAnn Fabric will impact the greater ecosystem.

[aetherograph]

SCAdians can often be found in any of these environments, and while they do not necessarily travel in packs outside their native lekking grounds, they are gregarious and are not in fact one species but a colony of cordyceps-symbiotic Crafters, Goths, Dads, Lesbians, Cosplayers, etc. that are directed by the cordyceps inhabiting them to find others to pull into the “Society”. This particular symbiotic fungi, c. recreatoris, causes hosts to behave similarly to Historical Re-enactors, but SCAdians tend to create their own internally consistent timeline of events taking place in a shared world, whereas Re-enactors are a species of Museum animal.

[hasufin]

I wish to address the percasive rumors directly: the loss of JoAnn’s happened prior to and was not in any way caused by the annual Goth feeding cycle. Notwithstanding that much like cicadas and locusts, the craft store ecosystem evolved to handle and even rely on this phenomen, it simply had no relation to this unfortunate occurrence. While there remains some debate on the subject, the immediate cause seems to have been a disease which hit the elderly crafters on whom JoAnn’s relied the hardest.

The loss of the JoAnn’s feeding grounds has been devastating to the Goth population, and conservation efforts are ongoing.

[jstor]

April is National Poetry Month, and at JSTOR, we celebrate the boundless creativity that poetry inspires across various forms of expression. 🎨 📜

This month, we highlight the seamless blend of visual art and verse, featuring stunning prints by William Blake from The Metropolitan Museum of Art's open collection. Blake's work exemplifies the powerful synergy between poetry and imagery, reminding us that words and art are profoundly interconnected.

Images: William Blake. Songs of Innocence: Spring. [1789] printed ca. 1825. The Metropolitan Museum of Art.

William Blake. Songs of Experience: The Tyger. [1794] printed ca. 1825. The Metropolitan Museum of Art.

William Blake. Songs of Experience: The Angel. [1794] printed ca. 1825. The Metropolitan Museum of Art.

William Blake. Songs of Innocence: The Lamb. [1789] printed ca. 1825. The Metropolitan Museum of Art.

[vigilantejustice]

please watch this two second clip from santa clarita diet

[margesimpsoncosplayer]

mah shErbet.,, mah sp ᵒᵒⁿ

[official-lucifers-child]

the transcription is 100% accurate and yet still doesn’t do it justice somehow

[dragon-in-a-fez]

multiples of 5 are honorary even numbers to me. does anyone else feel this

[centaurself]

in celebration of april 13, i present all four known photos of neil, who banged out the tunes 19 years ago today

source: theagilerat.com (click right to see all four photos!)

[starberry-cupcake]

[transgender-history]

Leslie Feinberg on trans exclusion in feminist spaces.

“We’re in danger of losing what the entire second wave of feminism, what the entire second wave of women’s liberation was built on, and that was ‘Biology is not destiny’. ‘One is not born a woman,’ Simone de Beauvoir said, ‘one becomes one’. Now there’s some place where transsexual women and other women intersect. Biological determinism has been used for centuries as a weapon against women, in order to justify a second-class and oppressed status. How on Earth, then, are you going to pick up the weapon of biological determinism and use it to liberate yourself? It’s a reactionary tool.”

From TransSisters: The Journal of Transsexual Feminism, issue 7, volume 1. 1995.

[shinyjolteon]

im gonna cry this person is so sweet to their fish

[tragic-cosmic-magic]

[the-big-mood]

Source

[ryzrood]

[inbabylontheywept]

i am banned from eating my herring inside. they make me eat it on the smoking area by the loading dock, under the theory that it already smells bad there. but it was raining today which was preventing my breakfast, so i was feeling sad and hungry and then i realized that there was a large cardboard box in the dumpster from a previous delivery. like a fridge sized box. so i fished it out of the dumpster, then tipped it on its side and had a nice little cardboard cave to watch the rain and eat my fish in. which was a great experience. very soothing. very zen. at least until the security guard from the day before stepped outside to smoke. then i tried hiding from him by crawling deeper in the box, which unfortunately did not work. instead he saw a sort of damp sniveling pale hairless creature eating fish in a box, and delivered the verbal killshot of "good morning, mr. smeagol." which is how my day was ruined before 8 am.

[etiennelux]

reading a negative review of something you love written by a person who very clearly didn’t understand it at all

[t-valentines]

reading a positive review of something you love written by a person who very clearly didn’t understand it at all

[jabberwockypie]

Reading a negative review of something you hate by someone who very clearly didn't understand it at all and hates it for the wrong reasons