Alric Rahl the Original

Its not insanity, Its an active mind + imagination + Evil (The fun kind). Pure Text

[alric-rahl-the-original]

Nonconsenta Claus

The Sainted Violator; Saint Non-consent.

Nonconsenta Claus is his common name.

He appeared fully formed like Athena but from the thoughts and actions of all living things.

He is often mistook for Saint Nick since he also has facial hair and wears red. It doesn't take long for people to discover he is NOT Santa Claus. His suit is dyed naturally.

The Grand-master of Non-consent is not a potential victim.

He prefers women but being male will not save you.

He isn't into snuff but the occasional male doesn't survive.

He can stop time but chooses not to, Its not nearly as much fun.

He limits himself to one day a year, He would quickly run out of people if he went 24/7/365.

He can teleport but enters homes through things like chimneys, windows etc just to mess with people.

This is his theme song.

(Sung to the tune of 'Santa Claus Is Coming To Town)

No use to run No use to hide He will find you, And take you on a rape ride Nonconsenta Claus is dicking you down

He has his list Fuck checking it twice He doesn't care if you are naughty or nice Nonconsenta Claus is dicking you down

He'll take you when your sleeping He'll make sure that you're awake Doesn't care if you've been bad or good You're going to be fucked for goodness sake!

Go ahead and keep watch Go hide and have a cry You're totally boned I'm telling you why Nonconsenta Claus is dicking you down

The people in all lands Will be part of a non-consensual jubilee The screams will fill the area All around the Rapefest™ tree

No matter how far you go No matter how deep you hide He'll bend you over For a non-consensual ride Nonconsenta Claus is dicking.. Nonconsenta Claus is dicking.. Nonconsenta Claus is dicking you down!

[alric-rahl-the-original]

Remember to be a dick.

If you are a dick you are not an asshole.

If you are a dick you are not a pussy.

An asshole and a pussy are prone to getting the bone.

tl;dr Be the fucker, Not the fucked.

[alric-rahl-the-original]

Tis the season

Merry Christmas regardless of whether you want it or not.

I mean women I'm intimate with are most likely to hear 'Take it! TAKE IT!!!'

What can I say except I'm a Giver.

[alric-rahl-the-original]

Fun for the Hole family

Now how did that song go..... Oh yeah

On the first day of Rapefest™ my true love was N/C'ed by me with one Diamond hard Wang.

On the second day of Rapefest™ my true love was N/C'ed by me using 2 turtledove personal restraints and one Diamond hard Wang.

On the third day of Rapefest™ my true love was N/C'ed by me using 3 golden cock rings, 2 turtledove personal restraints and one Diamond hard Wang.

Rapefest™ Lasts 2 days ±1 day. Otherwise there would be more to the song.

[alric-rahl-the-original]

Donkey ‽

It's what we do, @ Donkey Punch U.

DPU: Donkey Punch University. #getwreckeddpu

(Not to be confused with DbPU, Double Penetration University)

[alric-rahl-the-original]

Funn..d

Funrazing. It's similar to fundraising, Only with much more fun and razing going on.

If participants remember RPB (Rape>Pillage>Burn™) funds will not be an issue.

Funrazing in your home town/city is contraindicated.

[alric-rahl-the-original]

Disbelief is Fatal

Every time someone says 'I do not believe in Murder Fairies' a human goes missing.

If a Murder Fairy comes for you, it is there to take you away. Spoiler: You are not going to Never-never land....Well not as a living person.

Clapping will not resurrect anyone, If you clap in audible range of a Murder Fairy it will just make your death more painful.

Sprinkle some of a Murder Fairies dust over yourself? Enjoy as it burns through you like molecular acid.

It is very difficult to tell a Fairy from a Murder Fairy. When the fairy pulls it's Weapon of Hideous Death™ from a dimensional pocket you then know it's actually a Murder Fairy.

[alric-rahl-the-original]

It's for People!

Mmmm chainsaws. They go together with wood almost as well as with people.

I imagine the real story of the invention of the chainsaw was not to cut wood faster/easier.

More likely some murderous sadist was thinking 'I really like using saws on people but it tires me out so quickly. I wonder if... ' and thus the chainsaw was born.

[alric-rahl-the-original]

Merry Christmas

[alric-rahl-the-original]

The Power of Positive Thoughts

If life starts getting you down just remember, There are many people out there in the world, Most wouldn't mind seeing you dead.

Spite them by continuing to live.

[alric-rahl-the-original]

Buy two

Amazing

If you buy 2 Victimize Me!™ Abduction starter kits at the normal price of $666.69 each you get a third free!

Disclaimer: Free Victimize Me!™ Abduction starter kit can only be activated on the buyer. Part of our buy two get YOU promotion.

Brought to you by M³ (Murderous Murdering Murderers).

Also brought to you by Google, Facebook and Cloudflare.

[alric-rahl-the-original]

And eat it too.

Carrots are a disease.

They infect people with the desire to cook them in various ways.

Cooking carrots releases a toxin that corrupts taste buds when consumed which warps the consumers mind into believing they like the flavor. The toxin is a slow killer, it can take decades to kill even with the enhanced consumption the toxin promotes.

Carrot cake is the only known way to cook a carrot without the toxin forming.

Now you know and knowing is half the battle.

The other half is doing something violent about it.

[alric-rahl-the-original]

Accident Free

So there I was on the clock driving like normal. A co-worker was in the back seat and he says 'What the hell we're doing a hundred‽ Could we just do the speed limit?'

I said 'Only doing 98.'

I then told him 'There have been no accidental deaths in a vehicle were I was driving. ' He took a moment to parse that then said 'No "accidental" death's' I would have used my Evil Laugh but we needed him.

If I had used my Evil Laugh I still could say 'There have been no accidental deaths in a vehicle I was driving. '

[alric-rahl-the-original]

Just isn’t the same

Alric Rahl, [28.05.21 03:42] In celebration of Covid being unable to wipe the us out so far let's go out on a rape, pillage and burn spree and see how many cities we can wipe out.

Mr. Steal, [28.05.21 04:05] I'm down for that.

Alric Rahl, [29.05.21 14:00] I was told no rape on the rape, pillage and burn spree because 'social distancing'. So its been canceled.

Alric Rahl, [29.05.21 18:19] If not for the covid bullshit I would be on a relaxing and holesome Rape, Pillage & Burn vacation.

Alric Rahl, [29.05.21 18:20] Yep it's spelled right cause I would have got some hole.

Alric Rahl, [29.05.21 18:22] If I were willing to bang exponentially it would be holesum.

Alric Rahl, [29.05.21 18:23] While fun, Its not very relaxing.

[alric-rahl-the-original]

A helping hand.

If you are ever around somebody who starts screaming, slapping at themselves and saying something to effect of 'x is crawling all over me!' Show your humanitarian side even if you can't see anything on them, douse them with something flammable and light them up to help clear off the crawlers.

Make sure everybody understands that you were just trying to help them out, not put down a violent crazy person.

Brought to you by Merrily Murderous Musings™

And Piano Wire Garrotes, they put the cap in decapitation.

[alric-rahl-the-original]

Trust Me

Trust exists so people can betray it.

[alric-rahl-the-original]

My type of Evil

'I'm going to fuck you with such disregard for common sense Buddha will explode'.

Someone I once knew created this poetry.