Ulyssia

she/they, i think, it's complicated and i'm working on it Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair an adult for several years now, reblogs anything i find funny or useful or important

[alt-menu]

given the current state of everything, i think it's pertinent to put this here

here is my bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ulyssesalter.bsky.social

anyway, that's there in case i get deleted, executed, or implode from the burden of existence

[dogpuppy]

[squirrelly-13]

they got married btw

[visit-me-here-in-wonderland]

oh you’re not kidding

[beesmygod]

HARMFUL GAY STEREOTYPES EMBODIED BY MOHG

lives in sewer

kidnaps children actually he was cleared of this one

blood magic

[hexdrake]

never stops being funny

[afloweroutofstone]

Got a great ad encouraging people to dismantle surveillance equipment and then sell the guts at a pawn shop

[depsidase]

[do-not-u-dare]

Stole this from somewhere but i think it’s appropriate

[depsidase]

[depsidase]

[abortionado]

They’re calling me every slur under the sun over on twitter for this post

[cilceon]

Would you sell liquor to this baby

Yes

No

I don’t think life begins at contraception but I’d still sell liquor to baby

Voting ended onAug 6, 2025

Wait hold on rb canceled that’s the wrong word wait no stop

[trans-sapphic-mess]

If that trans girl gets super weirdly apologetic, like is borderline apologizing for breathing or is apologizing for things that are basically nothing/happened forever ago, whatever you do, do not leave her alone. Chances are it's one of two things, and neither of them are good; she's either bordering on a breakdown and thinks basically everything she does is wrong, or is past that point and desperately wants to make sure no one's angry at her before she hurts herself/takes her own life. You might think it's weird, you might get tired of it and want to push her away, but for the love of god do not do that. Her apologizing every 0.5 seconds is because she's been taught not to value her own emotions, but they're overpowering her and she doesn't know what to do other than apologize like her life depends on it. Her life might not depend on it, but it very well could depend on how you respond to her heart's most desperate cries for help

[mousidy]

a gentle, sweet "are you apologizing for the sun shining? :)" is one of my favorite ways to respond to other trans women who apologize for existing, for taking up space, for having needs, for wanting to be known and loved. you have to let her know she matters to you, that her presence is like the sunshine

when I treat trans women this way, I notice they apologize less over time and get more comfortable voicing their needs to me without shrinking themselves

[doyoulovethewayzeylily]

it's not. what if we killed whoever taught you to feel that way

[despazito]

I really really don't like this veneration of convents as "autism heaven"

[despazito]

💀

[escuerzoresucitado]

[churlsgonewild]

[quietwingsinthesky]

did i tell you guys i failed at being sexually harassed at work today?

[quietwingsinthesky]

okay so, guy at work, who i find out afterwards is famous at this place for being a sex pest, comes up and starts with what i also learn is his favorite opener to conversations where he’s going to be a sex pest, namely: “Do you know where the term ‘blow job’ comes from?”

and here he made his first fatal error. his moment of hubristic sex pesting. because of course i know where the term blow job comes from, i love learning about sex and the history of sexual terms! i know so much about oral sex that i could write a book on it!

his second error: approaching a little autistic freak with what he intended to be an uncomfortable sex question that would make me feel weird and gross. Friends, Romans, Countrymen, I Have Never Misjudged A Man’s Intentions So Incredibly In My Life. because i did not realize he was trying to harass me. because i love talking about sex facts, albeit not usually at work. unless. someone prompts me. my coworkers are the kind of people who are generally online enough to know terms, but not exactly what they mean, and they realized they could ask me a while back and get good answers without the resulting awkwardness because i do not experience shame. i am primed to answer questions like the one he has proposed.

So I Answered It.

and well, really, what happened is that I began answering it, then realized the answer required a bit more context. I mean, you can’t just say “oh, well, the term first appears in writing in the 1940s” without first explaining that ‘blow’ by itself already had sexual connotations for centuries, and then, really, are we talking about the origin of the term or the origin of the act. and well we have a ton of literature and art depicting fellatio throughout human history, did you know a lot of it was men performing it on other men? oh, that reminds me, there are a multitude of latin words for oral sex performed on penises, and hold on let me quote you the entirety of catullus 16 from memory and explain it’s fascinating insights into the roman world of homosexuality-

i do not know how to turn any of this ^ off, by the way. i’m sure some people out there have a switch that disables their infodumping mid-speech. i do not. and i also didn’t realize he wasn’t looking for a real answer until my other coworker explained so hours later. he could not excuse himself from the conversation he started, and i made a conservative man at least 30 years older than me to listen to my catullus recitation. i will sodomize and facefuck you, indeed.

anyway, i think i got a bad grade in being sexually harassed. my pro tip is maybe don’t start with what a very autistic individual will misconstrue as you earnestly asking them to explain sex to you. the special interest shield will cause splashback damage.

[i-speak-graffiti]

🫵 HEROES in the tags

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

they killed him for this

[cleo-fox]

Writing tips:

“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context

“You feel the bugle in his pants” - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets

[maple-seed]

Both options convey that he's horny

[cleo-fox]

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

[boringkate]

You listen to music regularly? Why? Have you even tried quitting? Could you quit? You get music stuck in your head? Wow. You're so ruined and music brained. I bet you make your partners listen to music with you when you have sex. Music addiction has really ruined a whole generation. You know it's not realistic to expect reverb in real life, right? You're probably so desensitized that you don't even feel anything anymore when you hear a bird singing that it wants some fuck.

[paradigm-adrift]

I don't have a problem with people listening to music per se, but I do have a problem with the music industry exploiting & mistreating artists.

Personally, I abstain from all music in order to keep my hands clean but really music should just be illegal outright to protect musicians from abuse.

[terramythos]

holy shit this person in the notes

[discodyke-dogthing]

[natalieironside]

There's always a moment of intense cultural whiplash whenever I realize I'm talking to someone who thinks "legal" and "illegal" are meaningful categories and ascribes innate goodness to following the law. It's like meeting a space alien.

[angelicguy]

people who are obsessed with IQ would buckle if there was a number associated with how pleasant you are to interact with

[i-am-cybersmith]

This wouldn't be too hard to make, honestly.

We have IQ, intelligence Quotient, why not CQ, Charisma Quotient?

Every human on earth has six essential attributes or abilities which influence their characteristics, such as how likely they are to catch a disease, or the difficulty of saving against their spells. I discussed this with @memecucker once, but to summarise:

STR: strength

DEX: dexterity

CON: constitution

INT: intelligence

WIS: wisdom

CHA: charisma

IQ is an ordinal (I.E, adjusted for populations so the average remains the same) measure of the INT score.

In score of 10 equates to IQ of 100, average intelligence. 9 to 90, 12 to 120, etc.

You could, in principle, do the same for Charisma.

[angelicguy]

[i-am-cybersmith]

?

[angelicguy]