Hoist the colours high

Trying to explain my brain

[altheatoasty]

Only the little things

If only the small things matter, Just the little things you can barely see If then you and I were together, We would be happy, but we wouldn't be free

If only the little things are relevant If all that's big and great is not good enough Then one thing becomes eminent We might be missing out on the good stuff

The big travels, the great memories, The enormous buildings from overseas The paths we take, the trails we hike The roads we walk, the mountains we bike

Only the small things matter No matter what those small things are Your smile, your eyes, your embrace With that in my mind, I can come very far

I can overcome my depression My anxieties, and my fears I can overcome anything If only you were here

It's true that only the small things matter, But the big things shouldn't be left out For if the big things were forgotten,

We'd forget what life is all about.

[altheatoasty]

Daily reminders

Breathe in Breathe out Let go of all your troubles and doubts Shoulders down Chin up Stay hydrated, put water in your cup Hang on Stay safe You'll thank yourself later today Breathe out Breathe in Take it easy, it's never too late to begin Babysteps You'll get out of the hell and the torment And I'll be here if you need to vent

[altheatoasty]

Feeling small

I want to talk I want to die I don't want to talk But I still want to die. Thoughts like this roam my mind It's thoughts like this that make me feel like I'm insignificant I'm nothing I'm just a bitch who worries too much I'm just a person who wants people to know she cares I feel so small I feel like I'm of so little value I want to shout into the world that I'm worthy But it feels like I'm lying What's the point? We're all dying We're all circling around Being the prey of feelings In a life we never chose for.

[altheatoasty]

No one cares

You know the feeling? The feeling of feeling icky The feeling of wanting to shout? But at the same time You feel like you’re not valid Your worries are not worth it No one cares You know the feeling? The feeling of feeling tired The feeling of just wanting to sleep But at the same time You feel like you are lazy You are not worth it No one cares I’m tired of feeling these things I’m tired of being this way I know I have to accept it and I know it is okay There’s nothing more to say No one cares

[altheatoasty]

One of those nights

The night falls Just like me The day breaks I am already broken

Every day It's the same routine

Every night I fall apart

I'm trying to relax I'm trying to float

It has no use It is to no avail I choose to let go

[altheatoasty]

Desires

I turned off the lights

Just before I kissed you

Turned them back on

And now I miss you

[altheatoasty]

Dreaming of the day

It's going to be okay It's going to go my way One day

Now everything seems hopeless There is no light Everything is hopeless Hope is out of sight

It will work out fine My life will be mine And I will be back

One day It's going to go my way It's going to be okay

[altheatoasty]

The act of estimating something to be worthless

You and me were real You and me felt like we could chase the world We were together and it never felt so good. You were my big deal I never thought you could turn so cold Like snow you fell on my sunny beach And you turned the tides like you never should You were my everything and I thought we belonged I thought we were of worth I really believed that it was just you and me against this Earth But that is where I was wrong. I was only fixating the relation Making the prices drop And in the and it turned out to be floccinaucinihilipilification With a little cherry on top

[altheatoasty]

The “lies” you tell me

It is going to be okay Or so you say I’ll be fine That’s what you keep telling me I want to believe you Don’t get me wrong I really want to believe what you say But I can’t. No matter how hard I try I can’t. I feel like I’m not in the mood I’m not doing well, I’m not doing good I’m not okay It’s not going to be okay Not yet.

[altheatoasty]

Absentminded

There is something It's super important and I have to keep remembering to not forget It is something That will go bad if I leave it out I have to keep it inside my head Top priority no other things are of interest Right now I have to put in all my time Into thinking what the super important thing was

[altheatoasty]

-insert life purpose-

I feel like swimming but all I do is drown I feel like smiling but all I do is frown When will the tide turn on me? When will someone hand me the key Of this prison that's holding me? People keep saying "soon", "It will be okay soon" But I'll be waiting and waiting It's exhausting, frustrating Waiting and waiting on the day that's called "soon" Another day wasted Another day wondered If today was "soon" Yesterday was a day Today is a day Tomorrow will be a day No good days No bad days Just days Days, on which I experience both but only remember the bad moments Days, on which I revert the good moments into the bad ones Days, on which I don't make sense at all.

[altheatoasty]

Run into the night

I can't run I can't hide Anywhere I go they will find me I want to run I want to hide But anywhere I go they will find me My thoughts are always with me And so is the lack of air in my lungs I can't always put it there beside me But I can put it in a poem, or a song The thoughts that always plague me Are the ones I don't need at all And the thoughts that are vague to me Are the ones I need the most

[altheatoasty]

Insecure

There's a strong wind in the trees that is similar to the battle that's fought inside me I'm in conflict with my thoughts, in an argument all around There's no room for distractions, but no energy for a reaction I'm draining myself from the end I am not much of a help now, but will you still be my friend?

[altheatoasty]

Achievement unlocked

Our fingertips don't fade from the lives we touch. You made me feel like I am nothing and such a thing plants its roots. It grows and climbs its vines and affects my mood

I'm giving you a standing ovation, I hope you are proud Because you finally achieved what you were trying to do all those years. Please don't hesitate to take a bow

Achievement unlocked: you broke me down

[altheatoasty]

Anna

I'm alone in my room It's crowded in my head The universe has changed This reality is different I'm different This world around me has changed I'm absent I'm not here It's confusing but I can't snap out of it I can't feel my face Can't feel I'm out of place But I am Everything goes on the way it has to be Except I'm not aware Everything is going on like my body wants Except I don't know that it does Things are happening but my mind isn't there I can't remember what I did While I was out of it Lost hours Devoured by this possession Only someone else can save me Only someone else can pull me out of whatever this is Take me out of this other reality This other dimension I want to go home.

[altheatoasty]

Still waiting

Rough night Tough time It's hard to feel right My mind takes flight into a dark sky

It's not fair at all How these tricks Lift me up but then Make me fall Sticks and stones

And I'm hoping

Tomorrow will be better Tomorrow everything will be alright Tomorrow will be better Tomorrow I'll be fine

I give it all I've got but it doesn't seem enough I'm tasting joy for a second And then it drops me like it's hot Like I'm too much

No hope Just pain Losing all faith There truly seems no way out.

But I'm trying

Tomorrow will be better Tomorrow everything will be alright Tomorrow will be better Tomorrow I'll be fine

Or at least I tried...

[altheatoasty]

The dragon within

Dragons are spitting fire I'm in a dire situation

Armouring up against the beast My happiness and good feelings have ceased It’s been taken away and locked in a tower Kept with the dragon

The dragon inside

It's time to get up and fight Try as I might Maybe after I've won I'll finally see the light

It has been controlling me for too long It has been growing too strong

I need help People who will slay the dragon with me After that, everything might not return as it was supposed to be But at least there are people who were there for me