this didn’t fucking happen. arthur doesn’t eat ass. arthur doesn’t eat ass in the books. arthur doesn’t eat ass in the cartoon.
noise dept.
YOU ARE THE REASON
🪼
todays bird

oozey mess
Xuebing Du
Peter Solarz

JBB: An Artblog!
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

@theartofmadeline

No title available
No title available
occasionally subtle
i don't do bad sauce passes

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Mike Driver
One Nice Bug Per Day
tumblr dot com

shark vs the universe
Jules of Nature

seen from Azerbaijan
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from T1
seen from Italy
seen from Brazil
seen from Türkiye

seen from Venezuela
seen from Malaysia
seen from Canada
seen from United States

seen from South Korea

seen from Netherlands
@alucardtheimpala
this didn’t fucking happen. arthur doesn’t eat ass. arthur doesn’t eat ass in the books. arthur doesn’t eat ass in the cartoon.
HERE’S THE THING THOUGH
I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello you’d get connected to them, so I just launch right into my “Harvard University and NPR blah blah blah” thing and then there’s this long pause and I think the person’s hung up even though I didn’t hear a click
And then I hear “you shouldn’t be able to call this number.”
So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we aren’t selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is
“No, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it.”
I explain that it’s randomly generated and I’m very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear:
“Ma’am, this is a matter of national security.”
I accidentally called the director of the FBI.
My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon.
This is my new favourite story.
When I was in college I got a job working for a company that manages major air-travel data. It was a temp gig working their out of date system while they moved over to a new one, since my knowing MS Dos apparently made me qualified.
There was no MS Dos involved. Instead, there was a proprietary type-based OS and an actually-uses-transistors refrigerator-sized computer with switches I had to trip at certain times during the night as I watched the data flow from six pm to six AM on Fridays and weekends. If things got stuck, I reset the server.
The company handled everything from low-end data (hotel and car reservations) to flight plans and tower information. I was weighed every time I came in to make sure it was me. Areas of the building had retina scanners on doors.
During training. they took us through all the procedures. Including the procedures for the red phone. There was, literally, a red phone on the shelf above my desk. “This is a holdover from the cold war.” They said. “It isn’t going to come up, but here’s the deal. In case of nuclear war or other nation-wide disaster, the phone will ring. Pick up the phone, state your name and station, and await instructions. Do whatever you are told.”
So my third night there, it’s around 2am and there’s a ringing sound.
I look up, slowly. The Red phone is ringing.
So I reach out, I pick up the phone. I give my name and station number. And I hear every station head in the building do the exact same. One after another, voices giving names and numbers. Then silence for the space of two breaths. Silence broken by…
“Uh… Is Shantavia there?”
It turns out that every toll free, 1-900 or priority number has a corresponding local number that it routs to at its actual destination. Some poor teenage girl was trying to dial a friend of hers, mixed up the numbers, and got the atomic attack alert line for a major air-travel corporation’s command center in the mid-west United States.
There’s another pause, and the guys over in the main data room are cracking up. The overnight site head is saying “I think you have the wrong number, ma’am.” and I’m standing there having faced the specter of nuclear annihilation before I was old enough to legally drink.
The red phone never rang again while I was there, so the people doing my training were only slightly wrong in their estimation of how often the doomsday phone would ring.
These are my two favorite stories
IT GOT BETTER
I SALUTE YOU, RED PHONE PERSON
Does everybody remember season 1 in durarara!! when Shizuo and Izaya were up to some of their shenanigans…
Then Shizuo was hit by a van
and then Izaya comes and tips the guy…
paperfrays submitted:
Have you seen this yet? XD
well holy shit
dat animation
Tyson tweets
This is the most amazing Vine I have ever seen.
All other Vines can go home.
A collection of badly misspelled names from Starbucks
I’m actually laughing. Virginia.
[source1 source2]
FUCKING LOST IT AT CLINT AND LOKI
Going through my favourites tag and saw this again. So I had to reblog.
me to classmates after the semester ends
how do i lose 30 pounds in 1 minute
go to England and buy something
Do British people get this joke or something
Even non-British people get this joke
when i was younger i had a really bad fear of danny devito when i was going to sleep so my older brother gave me a watch that he set to like 8 hours ahead so that it was always daytime on the watch when i was asleep and he told me it would confuse danny devito and he would think it was daytime and get scared of the sun and leave me alon
Your brother is the best
Who the fuck changed this from vampires to Danny devito
i still do not understand what possessed so many well-respected actors to do the spy kids movies like
did they pay really well? did you want these beautiful, terrible movies to be a blemish on your career forever?? why
antonio banderas did so many high-profile movies then in spy kids he looked like this
tony shalhoub has won multiple emmys but he did spy kids and
even fucking george clooney wtf
steve buscemi is pretty goofy but still
salma hayek’s pigtails in this wow
elijah wood was the lead in a movie that’s tied for the largest number of oscars of all time and he played a character creatively named “THE GUY”
sylvester stallone is like a cultural icon and he played not one but FOUR ridiculously dressed weirdos
alan cumming is the only one i can understand
Spy Kids is a national treasure
how dare you talk about spy kids as though it is not the most brilliant franchise ever created
1 wow please
hey can you please tag your space posts with "space" or "space mention" ? seeing space really makes me anxious and i don't want to see it on my dashboard
no offense but if space makes you uncomfortable then i dont think following a blog that only posts about space is the best idea for you