i'm 21 and american. As you may be able to tell, I am a mess but still doing my best to be better. The main purposes of this blog is for keeping the things I don't want to forget and to have a place to type whatever I want. If I reblog something of yours you didn't want rebloged Please let me know!!
Stardew Valley is wild cause it’s this fun wholesome little game where you raise animals and grow crops and get married but it also has monsters and dwarves and the mayor and rancher lady are secretly fucking and it’s heavily implied the shop owner’s daughter is actually an illegitimate child his wife had with the local wizard and there’s a note from your grandpa saying he’s gonna return from the grave and visit you on the dawn of your third year in the valley
Don’t forget that the country you’re in is being invaded by a much larger nation, one of your fellow townspeople has PTSD from being tortured in a POW camp and it’s causing him to lash out at his wife, one of the marriage candidates lives in an abusive household, another one is suicidally depressed, the mayor is using taxpayers’ money to build solid gold statues of himself while the infrastructure crumbles but everybody’s so disenfranchised with politics that nobody ever stands against him for election and, oh yes, the main plot of the game is that a supermarket is trying to destroy the town so that they can stripmine the local area.
Okay but this is probably the post that will make me buy this game like
We joke about wwx being dumb for not realising lwj loves him because the alternative interpretation - that he thinks he's undeserving of love and/or that everyone who loves him gets hurt/killed - is too sad to think about.
Okay, this is Fair, but we can actually have non-dumb Wei Wuxian absent (or with only moderate amounts of) this particular breed of angst. (Versions of Wei Wuxian minus any angst at all are automatically AU Wei Wuxians and therefore fall under the purview of their specific narratives.)
Hear me out: Wei Wuxian has spent his entire (first) life being repeatedly informed by friends, family, and members of the public that Lan Wangji doesn’t like him. He doesn’t entirely believe that, he says really early on the book (though I’m not going to find a quote just now, I usually cite my sources, but MEH) that he thinks that was probably an exaggeration and their relationship wasn’t that bad, but it still makes a difference in how he perceives that relationship. What’s the first thing we do when we get a crush or get the feeling someone else does? We go ask our friends if we’re getting the signals right---is this person flirting, am I reading too much into it, do they like me, check yes or no. Wei Wuxian, instead of getting external validation that Lan Wangji has feelings for him, gets external validation that Lan Wangji hates him. Given that, it’s impressive that he maintains his opinion that everyone else in the entire world was wrong!
Beyond that, and I truly cannot emphasize this enough, Lan Wangji is better at hiding his feelings than we give him credit for. We know, as an audience, that he’s in love, because it follows the narrative tropes of the genre we know we’re in. Wei Wuxian does not get this leg up. Lan Wangji canonically shows almost none of his feelings on his face, and Wei Wuxian comes from a family known for being extremely emotionally demonstrative (both in good and bad ways). Even Jiang Cheng, who sends plenty of mixed signals, demonstrates his love by getting loud and emotional, something Lan Wangji rarely does. When he does, it’s usually in ways legitimately difficult to identify as affection---telling Wei Wuxian to get out of the library, biting him in the Xuanwu cave.
There’s a reason post-Guanyin temple Lan Wangji is sickeningly upfront about how he feels at all times! He was legitimately confusing before. A lot of Wei Wuxian’s second life rationalizations about why Lan Wangji is doing things (oh, he means the sword is his, oh, he doesn’t like Wen Ning because of the demonic cultivation aspect) actually don’t suck? (I grant you “why does he want me to lick him” is a tough one to explain away, but: drunk.) Add to that the canon level of homophobia and heteronormativity and the fact that Lan Wangji has never had a public relationship with a man, and Wei Wuxian not immediately jumping to that conclusion is.............not actually that dumb. And we have to assume that by the time Wei Wuxian has sex with Lan Wangji he has some idea that Lan Wangji’s into him, regardless of whether or not he’s acknowledging that to himself, or the dubious consent has gotten a hell of a lot more dubious. So he gets there in the end.
And, I mean, I’d throw in some “undeserving of love” angst, but that’s just because I really enjoy a little angst, provided I eventually get my happy ending. My point is that you don’t really actually have to.
Humph! | Rouge the Bat | pen sketch + copics
I am extremely rigid and stiff with my work, trying to make every line perfect, so this was a very quick experiment, no pencil sketch, just laying on whatever colours I felt like. It was really fun ❤️
Ever wondered how Lan Xichen just stood there in Guanyin Temple, dropping a harsh monologue on Wei Wuxian, and all of the sudden he reveals that he knew about Wei Wuxian’s teasings and flirtings with Lan Wangji during his “Let’s pretend I’m that gay lunatic Mo Xuanyu guy” period?
Yes.
Edit:
Guys, next comic is gonna be Lan Wangji exposed! Wei Wuxian has questions and he wants answers!!!
However, I’m very busy in my daily life and it takes me a more than a month to finish a work T_T If you like what I do, please consider supporting me on Ko-Fi, it would really give me motivation to continue <3
Ko-FiThank you all so much for liking my stuff! It means a lot!
In other news! it's summer time!! I started to plant the seed for the garden and water them every day. This year we are also trying to grow the flowers for the window boxes from seed, rather than buying the plant grown already.
"Boys will be boys" logic is interesting since WWX himself basically uses that exact excuse in the book when he tells LWJ not to take JC's homophobic rant/assault seriously in the ancestral hall bc that's just how JC is, as if WWX himself wasn't furious when JC targeted LWJ in that scene. A lot of WWX's famed unreliable narration is rationalizing the crazy shit JC does but sometimes people tend to take it at face value.
Yes, exactly! That is such a huge thing. WWX spends so much time telling himself (and through himself the audience) that oh, it can’t be helped when JC mistreats him, JC is just like that, it’s totally fine, he doesn’t mind, and we see how that viewpoint was encouraged and strengthened by the people around him, especially JYL (sorry Shijie but it’s true). Hell, you could argue that this particular aspect of his character was entirely her doing, given YZY just thinks he should be subordinate to JC in all things and JFM mostly ignores JC’s behaviour; it’s just JYL going for the “oh boys will be boys, you’re strong and always smiling, you can take it” angle.
...Actually, let’s go into that a bit more because it very much gets buried under the “best sister” shit; I am prepared to argue that JYL consistently taking JC’s side did serious damage to WWX. Like, she was the only Jiang who consistently showed him affection and support and he convinced himself that it was unconditional! But the “unconditional” aspect was an illusion entirely based on his ability to consistently and convincingly pretend that JC wasn’t hurting him. WWX isn’t stupid, I don’t doubt for a second that he knew JYL would take JC’s side if it came down to it. She always takes JC’s side from day one. Literally; she hears WWX say he’ll take the blame for JC chasing him out of Lotus Pier and getting WWX’s leg broken while all JC did was come out looking for WWX personally (instead of doing the smart and more helpful thing and getting adults to help) because he was scared he’d get in trouble and he got a little scrape because he was running through the woods like an idiot because, again, he was too scared of getting in trouble to GET ACTUAL HELP THAT WASN’T A CHILD and she’s like “Yeah, that sounds reasonable and fair and not like a really, really bad precedent to set with a kid whose safety relies on my family liking him”. ...There’s also an aspect of “Sure, it can’t hurt to let the kid my mother very clearly hates take responsibility for something that he could be punished for by someone with a motive to take everything possible as a wrongdoing on WWX’s part”, but to be fair at this point she doesn’t know YZY will whip WWX for literally anything she can even slightly suggest is any sort of wrongdoing on WWX’s part. And let’s not pretend WWX wasn’t punished for JC getting hurt; come on, it’s YZY, she punishes him for sunbathing.
This is a running thing going forward in their dynamic, too! JC does something horrible, JYL immediately starts in on the “Oh, boys will be boys, A-Cheng might get upset if you call him out on his shit” shtick if WWX shows the slightest trace of dissatisfaction with being treated like garbage, WWX smiles and forgives JC for whatever he did without question, there’s a period of calm, the cycle repeats. JYL very much teaches WWX that he cannot EVER show any unhappiness with JC’s threats and insults. If he ever shows so much as a shred of anger or sadness or generally being upset at the way JC mistreats him JYL takes JC’s side. At most she’ll tell JC that maybe he should back off a little while basically telling WWX to grin and bear it because JC might be slightly upset if anyone ever calls him out on being horrible to literally everyone. And don’t even get me started on the whole “Oh you’re always smiling” bullshit, talk about teaching a mistreated orphan that he has literally no right to look sad about anything ever. Like, let me put it this way: WWX doesn’t even feel he can go to JYL about JC TRYING TO KILL HIM. That’s a lot? It’s a lot? And it never really gets discussed in any way? WWX doesn’t feel like he can tell his supposed sister who supposedly loves him unconditionally that her brother tried to murder him like three times and when the third time comes up JYL takes JC’s side because JC’s arm got broken in the process of the staged fight where JC stabbed WWX in the gut and that’s fine and healthy apparently. Stan WQ, the actual best sister (god I love WQ).
Anyway, now that I’m done enraging the fandom with my tangent about how much JYL sucks as a sister to WWX... Yeah, WWX insists that JC’s attitude can’t be helped because JC’s just like that even when he very clearly doesn’t buy that? He’s obviously pissed when JC goes after LWJ to the point of genuinely going after JC for it... but when they get away from JC he goes into the “Oh, he can’t help it, don’t get mad at him”. And in this particular case part of it is him panicking because JC’s homophobic ranting (and LWJ’s clear anger at it) left him questioning his and LWJ’s feelings and the mutuality thereof, but it also... really does throw every other time he insists JC’s behaviour is fine into question. Like, we know he’s not buying his own line in this scene! He was furious at JC! He’s still furious and upset! But he feels the need to cover for JC. Even after he’s realized that JC’s behaviour wasn’t okay, he still feels like he has to protect him from anyone else getting angry at him. WWX knows JC’s behaviour isn’t okay and that it’s not fair that JC treats him the way he does and I’d argue (especially at this point in the story) that he deserves better than JC’s treatment... but he still insists that JC is just like that and it’s fine.
That throws every single time WWX smiles through JC’s mistreatment into question, I’d say; we know he’ll react this way even when he knows that JC’s behaviour isn’t okay, so who’s to say he ever isn’t aware that JC’s behaviour isn’t okay? In CQL XZ does an excellent job of showing that at least in that continuity he is extremely done with JC’s shit even from when they’re fifteen; the novel is as far as I remember a little less clear, but it’s still pretty obvious that he’s not enjoying the way JC treats him. He knows that the way JC treats him is hurtful and upsetting and sometimes even frightening (think of the times JC threatens him with dogs and he’s clearly scared, which is a whole other thing because either he’s so scared of dogs that even the threat terrifies him or he has zero doubt that JC for sure would set dogs on him, which is a big thing either way and also I’m still not over how CQL JYL laughs when JC threatens WWX with dogs even though WWX is clearly scared and she totally would’ve laughed if that happened in the novel too but showing it so blatantly and then never actually getting into how messed up it is is just unnecessary), but he feels like he has to smile through it and cover for JC, just like when they were nine.
Anyway yeah, for a fandom so obsessed with WWX being an unreliable narrator the MDZS/CQL fandom sure does miss a lot of times where WWX is actually being unreliable, huh.
I love this take. It explains the rationalizing of JC's whole thing/outbursts by WWX and some of JYL actions. With that said, I can't look down on JYL too much, especially when she was a child, because I can't believe she did it on purpose and was probably in denial. But that doesn't mean her actions didn't hurt WWX a great deal.
this scene from the goes wrong show where they cast two different people as the head and hunky, semi-nude body of the same character during a live theatre production haunts my every waking moment
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