Rediscovering Zoe

Im 19, anorexic, depressed, self harm, suicidal, OCD, BPD (I disagree with all my diagnosis though) Warning: my blog may trigger you

[u-r--lovely]

This whole ‘recovery thing’ is so confusing. It’s like I’m learning how to swim but the only way to learn is to throw myself into the water and start drowning. To get over my anxiety is to feel it and I find myself running towards what’s safe (my eating disorder). You see recovery isn’t safe–it’s scary but that’s okay because at least I’m feeling something. At least I’m learning how to swim even if I feel like I’m drowning.

recovery is drowning but that’s okay (via u-r–lovely)

[edrecoveryprobs]

"Don't look at me, I'm disgusting."

(fuzzysparrow)

[amazinggrace8246]

Things are getting a little more difficult. I'm struggling quite a lot with weight because I really want to get to a certain number and I'm only 3kg away from it now so I'm so close but I'm finding the guilt around food hard and I'm counting calories again 😞 anyway everything else is going great!! I'm home Wednesday-Sunday which I love!! I will try post a little more on here but I post more on my Instagram which is @rediscovering.zoe 😊

[amazinggrace8246]

So guys things are going great!! I'm losing weight healthily, having loads of home leave and am being discharged in August!! Tbh it seems so far away but hopefully it will come quickly. Also I don't have BPD anymore apparently I have psychosis which is complete shit but oh well. I nearly ran away yesterday because I didn't want to come back but I did come back eventually.

[amazinggrace8246]

I actually repulse myself 😷

[amazinggrace8246]

This is my disgusting body 😷 I really NEED to lose weight. I repulse myself. I'm doing it the healthy way though

[amazinggrace8246]

12/05/16

Sorry I haven't updated in so long I have been busy recovering!! I am currently doing extremely well!! I have unescorted leave, loads of home leave and I'm getting a discharge date next week!!!! I still struggle with body image but I'm still eating my full meal plan and losing weight healthily 😊 hope everyone is okay

[amazinggrace8246]

I got my first tattoo today!! It's a butterfly because they mean a lot to me and the antenna of the butterfly is the eating disorder recovery sign 💜 I'm so happy with it!!

[amazinggrace8246]

Goals 😍

[amazinggrace8246]

08/04/16

I had ward round yesterday and from Monday I have unescorted leave!!!! I am literally so happy!! Also I have 8 hours at home this Saturday and Sunday!! AND I might have 2 nights leave for my birthday!! 🙈🎉🎊🎈 I'm having a small gathering with a few friends and it's honestly the most excited I have ever been for a birthday 😃 recovery is so worth it guys!!!!

[amazinggrace8246]

🎶 oh this has gotta be the good life, This has gotta be a good life , this couldn't really be the good life, a good good life Say oh got this feeling that you can't fight, Like the city is on fire today This could really the good life, a good good life 🎶

One republic - good life

[amazinggrace8246]

In my recovery. I'm a soldier at war I have broken down walls I designed, I defined My recovery

James Arthur - recovery

[amazinggrace8246]

They say space will make it better and time will make it heal I won't be lost forever and soon I wouldn't feel like I'm haunted, oh falling

Jess glynne

[amazinggrace8246]

In my recovery. I'm a soldier at war I have broken down walls I designed, I defined My recovery

James Arthur

[amazinggrace8246]

Your body needs food to survive and even more food to live 💪🏼💜

[amazinggrace8246]

Sometimes it all gets a little too much. But you gotta realise that soon the fog will clear up. You don't have to be afraid, because we're all the same. And we know that, sometimes it all gets a little too much.

Shawn mendes

[amazinggrace8246]

Do I look like I've gained too much? I'm freaking out and body image is shit 💩 don't know what to do because self harm urged are also extremely high 😓