One of the most important things I’ve learned as a Real Adult™ is the importance of a job half done.
Today I did a load of dishes, wiped off my stove, and swept the kitchen floor. Did I do the best job, or finish every dish? No! My stove still has that caked on caramel that I need to bust out an SOS pad to take care of, one of our big pots is still sitting in the sink, and somehow a kitty kibble unearthed itself while I was wiping down the stove (?? how??).. but the kitchen looks a LOT better. It’s once again an inhabitable, usable space.
Parents, bosses, teachers, even my own self, harp upon absolute perfect completion of a task as the be all and end all of a job well done, but god damn, my kitchen isn’t terrible because I took the time to improve it. Little steps, especially when you’re struggling, are important. They mean a LOT. They are a sign that you won, if only in that brief moment, and they make getting all the other stuff done so much easier later on down the road.
killing you and your whole family but calling it clean cause I didn’t destroy a whole city block 😊
You can't give me an example of a whole family being taken out by this attack because it does not exist. I watched the videos of these explosions. Dude standing right next to the Hezbollah operative was completely unharmed and walked away. I said the attack was clean because the attack was clean. Anyone holding a Hezbollah pager or walkie talkie was injured. The way not to be injured was to not in posession of a Hezbollah pager. Some 4500 devices and Hezbollah operatives injured with a few dozen of those dead and among that count there were 3 non-operatives including one daughter of an operative (which is tragic that her father chose to put her life in danger by painting a target on his head as a member of a genocidal terrorist organization actively launching thousands of bombs at your stronger neighbor killing children playing soccer and displacing hundreds of thousands from their homes)
Which makes this the most targeted operation of this size I can think of. In modern war the usual civilian to militant casualty ratio is 9:1. This was 1:1500. This is war. There exists no way anybody has conceived of to attack the folks trying to kill you and involve as few civilians as this attack. This is as close to a literal targeted thanos snap as it gets.
Here is the real issue: Nothing Israel does to defend its civilians will ever meet your standards, because what you actually want is for Israeli civilians and children to just roll over and be genocided as is Nasrallah's unequivocally stated wish (specifically he has said he wants all the world's Jews to move to Israel so that he can genocide them more easily).
But Israel will not roll over and die, so fucking deal with it and stop being childish. Hezbollah has been bombing Israel indiscriminately for decades and nonstop for the past year and hundreds of thousands of civilians are displaced. A soccer field of playing Druze children was bombed killing a dozen of them.
Now thousands of those responsible for these genocidal actione have had their hands and/or dicks blown off over 2 days.
Such is war.
The usual way to go about this sort of thing is to bomb a city block, but it seems you're upset they came up with a way to harm 1500 enemy militants to one civilian instead of the 1:1 ratio they have going in Gaza (which is still far better than the 9:1 average of modern wars in cases where the bad guys AREN'T using their civilians as human shields en masse)
There is no war where 0 civilians are harmed, there never has been and never will be, but you're giving shit to the folks that just invented a new never before done way to hurt people you want and not the people you don't want to hurt, and defending the folks just straight up intentionally carpet bombing Israel's civilian regions making it's northern region uninhabitable and killing kids playing soccer.
And you are just making shit up to do it. Again, you cannot name for me 1 family that perished. Just one child who was too close to Daddy's pager that he uses to conduct large-scale war crimes in the name of genociding the Yahud, from the River To the Sea.
Which makes me strongly believe that civilian life is not your concern. Your concern is Israel doing anything at all to fight back against a terrorist group who wants to slaughter all of Israel's civilians. Which is shameful and pathetic bigotry. You can be better than that.
Here is the real issue: Nothing Israel does to defend its civilians will ever meet your standards, because what you actually want is for Israeli civilians and children to just roll over and be genocided
this pager thing has changed my mind about the most moral army thing because i was skeptical but now im like "this is quite possibly the best urban warfare ratio for an operation of this scale ever achieved and it took so much extra work and planning and yall don't even appreciate it what are your impossible nonsense standards"
the idf could literally hire thanos and people would get pressed about psychological warfare of people losing family members or some shit like that
I shouldn’t have to say this, but— do not sign anything which has important points added in goddamn pencil.
Don’t sign forms with areas left blank. Make sure those areas have “not applicable” written in each one (or words which work where you are).
Be aware of ambush tactics like being asked to sign unrelated forms * after * a surgery, any painful therapy, while feverish — any time when you’re unable to read and think clearly.
Don’t believe “this form is no big deal, you don’t have to read it.”
If you’re pressured “because it’s more efficient to sign everything at once” or anything like that, remember this is one more reason to be cautious, if not suspicious. Tell them to make a separate appointment.
If you are in pain, alone, or concerned for yourself and your ability to refuse to sign papers under pressure, ask someone to be there with you.
If you don’t have people to help in person, get someone to witness things with your phone, and allow them to say “wait a minute, that’s not right” or “no” for you. You don’t even need a smart phone to do this, OK? I’ve had to use a land line on speaker. It helps if your person has a clue what’s going on, but if you’re ambushed, just make sure they are willing to stick up for you. There are probably notes on how to be an advocate somewhere, if you know resources please add them in comments or add to this post.
I love Lilo And Stitch bc even though it makes me sad David just goes and blames what he thinks is a normal dog for making things worse for Nani and Lilo and it’s constantly funny to me
yeah in David’s defense, “Nani’s chaotic little sister brought a dog home and then immediately dyed the poor thing bright blue” is not an unreasonable assumption
Yes, this is a totally reasonable thing to say to any human being ever. Because as we all know, it is impossible to financially support two or more causes or donate to two or more things.
Do you have this same aggressive and vitriolic response to people who donate to public broadcasting or local libraries while also donating to doctors without borders and the gazan children's fund? I've sent money to Ao3, and also to UNICEF, and also to The Red Cross, and also to Action Against Hunger, and also to the ASPCA.
the normalization of anti-zionism gives a free pass to so many antisemites who literally don’t give two shits about palestine and it’s really disheartening to see a cause i truly believe in gain momentum only to be co-opted by very open antisemites, but the absolute silence and refusal to admit that their supporters are in large are just using their the movement as a way to hide their bigoted opinions truly shows a lot of what you need to know about what this movement is about.
#the pro-palestine movement in israel is doing more to help palestinians than any of the so-called activists online but yall dont want to #admit it bc it ruins the idea that israelis are evil colonisers
truly wish I could scream this from the rooftops. y’all go see arab-jewish primary schools, kibbutzim teaching arabic, israeli and palestinian lawyers working across both sides of the green line, palestinians in israel across the whole political spectrum (bc people aren’t 2D caricatures for your hero complex) in the knesset the courts local govt school boards etc. go see palestinians and the most evil israelis of all - settlers - finding a way to navigate an unequal and complex situation to live and work in their communities together. really really truly consider the idea that foreign countries aren’t depicted in all their complexity by your own media and that people within them know what’s best for themselves
here's my hot take about my generation and people younger than me (I'm 22 years old)
The reason current teenagers and people in their really early 20s are conservative on accident and have such shitty takes on the internet is because our generation was much more sheltered than previous generations and because we were raised to be ok with orwellian servailence and that is 100% the fault of our parents, Reagan Era kidnapping panics, and the rise of technology all coming together to prevent us from doing the sketchy shit that sends parents into panic mode but which is also completely fundemental to childhood development. If your parents had even a crumb of money to their name and even a shred of free time they started tracking your phone as soon as it was possible to. I did not experience this because my parents are actively trying to live like it's the 1990s and still have not gotten cell phones of their own, and did not let me have one until I was 18 years old and it was no longer their choice, but literally over half of my friends in middle and high school had their phones tracked by their parents at some point or other, and we would occasionally find this out, not because their parents told them, but when we were trying to do the aforementioned sketchy shit and their parent's car would pull up. And I would, like a reasonable person after finding this out, encourage my friends to just leave their phones at home, and their response would be "What if I get kidnapped" or "My parents are just trying to keep me safe"
This in my estimation has lead to a combination of kids being terminally online because they do have internet access and are better at deleting search history than their parents think they are, but don't have the freedom to go out and do shit without their parents' knowledge or consent, so they have the most privacy from the people who control their lives while they're on the internet, and kids not having the real world experiences they should have, not knowing how to connect with other people irl, not feeling comfortable leaving the house because of the horror story lies their parents told them to make them ok with the surveillance they were inflicting on their kids. Kids these days are growing up in the fucking panopticon when they should be out in the woods playing with knives or stealing cigarettes from their older sibling and going out to an empty parking lot to smoke them or whatever and that shit is sticking with them into adulthood. Things that were "tee hee we could get in trouble isn't this so fun and daring" in the 1990s and 2000s have become in the 2010s and 2020s things that are "If I do that without texting my parents some sort of lie to excuse where my location is my parent's car will pull up and I will get grounded for the next two weeks."
Like even when I was 19 I had a 16 year old friend who would volunteer their time at a food shelf and that's how we knew each other. We would talk about dungeons and dragons together, and the game store was 4 blocks from the food shelf. One day we left the food shelf earlier than they had told their parents they would and they got punished for that. We were literally just going to look at dungeons and dragons miniatures and dice, which was self evident if you could see where we started and how far we walked and where too. I have to assume that this isn't uncommon. It's wrong, but it's not uncommon.
Ok it has become apparent to me that people do not understand what I mean by conservative on accident.
Nobody my age is voting republican. Let's be clear on that. With the exception of a small minority of gamer gaters and people who were raised in actual cults most people my age are either commies or good liberals who votes straight blue down the ticket. This is because of the greta thunberg effect. We're all afraid of dying of thirst because there's no water anymore at the age of 35. Wealthy white children are no longer safe with the republican party which has become less of a political party and more of a death cult, and white children are less wealthy than they used to be (I specify white because POC by in large never voted for the party of the southern strategy for obvious reasons). We as a generation are so insanely blue that they're trying to raise the voting age to 25 about it.
This liberalism and party affiliation doesn't preclude them from being conservative on accident. What I mean by that is... Well
No kink at pride is a great example. The assumption that pride should exist at all makes them think that they're immune to conservative logic but they're still trying to enforce a dominant ideology onto a minority group. That person who made the tweet about how you shouldn't have sex in houses where there are children in the other room and if you can't avoid it you're a sex addict. That's a great example of like straight up puritanism coming out of the mouth of someone who proports themselves to be a leftist
If you ever see a discourse that feels like an obvious psyop as an adult and you can't understand why these supposed leftist youths are falling for it it's because that kid has never had sex in the woods and had to try to buy plan b under their parent's nose. My generation is dumb about sex. We're dumb about drugs. We're dumb about theft. We moralize literally everything. We're so dumb about stranger danger that we never learned how to community organize so while the vast vast majority of us are crushed by existential dread about debt and climate change but we never do anything about it because we just don't know how to organize because we're raised to see everyone else as a threat and we never went to or organized parties as teens because our parents would always know and stop us.
They managed to invent a generation that hates capitalism but fully buys into individualism and who is supportive of queer people and way less monogamous than previous generations but who still buys into the base assumptions of the nuclear family and thinks sex is evil. The levels of politics going on here are way weirder and stupider and more complicated than "young people vote republican and watch Fox news"
Biological sex is not and has never been a binary. The complexity of the natural world cannot be contained in neat little societal boxes. Stop using science to justify your bigotry.
Left my phone for six hours and suddenly this got 400 notes. 100% of the comments are positive and supporting, y'all make me feel hope again :) Anyway Israelis and Palestinians are cousins and neighbours and we will live together again and that's a PROMISE.
Btw everyone in the comments screaming about hummus you are so right and I see you
just like, if there's a history at your institution of disabled kids not being able to make it you realise that's your fault right. like why don't you fucking do something about it. i guess they tried to do something about it with me and it failed so they let me go. crazy. nice work. why should we try to do any better.
only 5% of people with adhd who go to college finish a degree. FUCKING. FIVE!!! PERCENT!!!!!!!!!!!
that should disgust and enrage you.
if any other demographic of students had a 95% failure rate, we would be demanding reform and studies to understand why that’s happening
when i was at my first university, trying to get accommodations for my ADHD, they just kept asking me what accommodations i wanted, and refused to answer when i would ask what was available to me. how the Hell am i supposed to know what i can have? what’s available???? also, i don’t know!!!! i’m an adhd sufferer, not a fucking disability expert for the fucking college, unlike you, DISABILITY EXPERT WHO WORKS FOR THE COLLEGE.
but because the us is OBSESSED with making sure no one gets anything “”for free””, she literally would not tell me what my options were until i broke down in tears and asked her why she was refusing to help me. and then she did a big sigh, like i was fucking up her entire career by *checks notes* asking the disability center in my university to help me, a disabled student
at the second uni i went to, i tried to explain to a dean that i was literally two gen eds that had nothing to do with my degree away from graduating and that i was burnt out and broke and exhausted and suicidal and i just needed to be able to finish my degree without the gen eds. and this. fucking. guy. looked me right in my face and said in the most patronizing tone he could muster “if you can’t handle it, then maybe college just isn’t for you.” keep in mind that up until that semester, i had been an honor student who made Dean’s List every semester and didn’t get below Bs. if it hadn’t been for my mental breakdown, i would have graduated cum laude, maybe even summa cum laude.
but this dean of students looked a disabled person right in the face and said well i guess you just can’t do it, short bus
Pulled these from a couple articles really quick but yeah the statistics are not kind. I remember writing a scathing essay about my issues with ADHD and college as part of an assignment for academic probation. I got back an email calling me entitled and lazy. Somehow, this thread helps me feel a lot better. I still have about a semester of school unfinished that I’m unsure if I’ll finish but… yeah. Makes me feel better to know it’s not just me.
Less "if they really loved you, they wouldn't ever hurt you." More "hurt feelings and conflicts are an unavoidable part of life, but the people worthy of being in yours will apologize and work on their behavior once they realize they are hurting you. You can't expect perfection from anyone, but you can and should expect effort."
When a space cares a lot about making sure its members are queer enough to participate, you get a space that aggressively polices the queerness of its members. There's no way around that, it's pretty much tautologically true. Only by paradoxically not actually caring if you're queer or not can a group really accept the full range of what queerness can look like.
Also, a space that has room for a cis straight guy who means well and wants the best for his friends has two crucial things going for it.
1) it has space for people who are learning and might fuck up a bit while they figure things out, and that learning process is probably not so godawful and unpleasant that a guy with other prospects would have to be a fool not to go find some nicer friends. This is nice because it is very difficult to personally embody the entire alphabet at once, and learning how to be good allies to one another is a crucial part of queer solidarity. It's nice for that process not to be painful.
2) it has space for people who aren't yet willing to or comfortable with presenting an externally queer label to continue to exist and soak up the queer vibes and information, which means it's welcoming to actual questioning people rather than the theory of questioning people. Probably it therefore has more interest in actually doing things rather than hierarchy politics.
3) it's probably not a radfem tar pit interested in weaponising you against people they've decided to hate in a social smear war that benefits nobody and nothing but their need for a power trip
Oh it’s even more than that! The cis straight guy is very often a ride home, dad or husband. Or a Bob which I will explain in this essay is a signifier of a healthy ecosystem, like frogs are.
This is a 3 am take so consider this a blanket apology and a readmore but if you hate this post you were warned.
If he’s someone’s ride home, then his presence enables queer people to show up. Note this importance in, say, rural America or where the person might use a wheelchair or need care or can’t drive. Or where the meeting place is generally awkward.
If he’s someone’s dad, his presence enables kids to show up. I know a 5 year old trans kid in real life. I know a nonbinary teen in real life who’s allowed to do a lot on their own, but their parents worry, and if they’re hanging out with adults the parents want to attend and meet the adults. Teenagers are so liminal with this.
If he’s someone’s husband, that’s a perfectly common accessory for a bisexual, nonbinary, or trans person. I think it adds a delightful dimension to queer spaces. I think it’s great that there’s a whole class of sexuality that’s “bi wife energy” or “straight except for loving this person” or “straight since I think nonbinary people are considered a different gender to my own - actually I’m completely lost about whether that’s true but we’ve been married ten years?” or “straight except for the fact that my partner transitioned, and we’re still married, and it’s none of your business.” At this point they’re so common that they’re their own subspecies. I think all spaces should have a slightly bewildered guy in his late forties who owns a set of good screwdrivers. I am bi and have one myself; it is a common pairing. “Why would your husband come to your social thing” idk this is a genuine thing people do sometimes in non-tar-pit spaces. They stop by. It’s almost like birds. You meet this incredible ornate, splendid older queer person and then they introduce their husband Professor Robert “Bob” Kevinsworth, who’s just this extremely straight old big fat Linux geologist in a 90s t-shirt with a trout on it, they’ve been married 45 years. Evolutionary pressures mean that the Bob must be relatively drab in order to camouflage themselves on the nest or something; if you want to attract the flashy half of the couple to your garden, then you have to provide habitat for Bob. idk it’s 3:46 am right now. But it’s like frogs; the presence of Bobs indicates a healthy and established ecosystem, like Grison and Derin indicate. Because frogs, who absorb environmental toxins readily through their skin, are an indicator species for pollution and biodiversity; a Bob means there is going to be less toxicity and more diversity.
[And also it’s none of our business but there are an awful lot of queer Bobs (Bob himself, again, possibly being queer) and it’s really none of our business. Sure, maybe that person looks like a straight grandpa. A lot of people do/did. I have always hated the idea that you can “spot” a queer person by their haircut, clothes or youth (largely because I don’t look very unusual or amazing myself.) the oldest nb person I know is a sort of Bob with a big white beard and grandchildren, and I’m sorry but at their age they are NOT going to be getting a different haircut! Let alone pink Shein dungarees and black circle sunglasses to signify their queerness to gatekeepers. A lot of people seeing them would assume they are cishet. Nope! Just old, fat and unfashionable.)
So a space that doesn’t have room for a cishet guy is a space that has made decisions about children, non-drivers, a large proportion of bi and nonbinary people, straight trans women, dads, and so on.
Which is fine in itself I suppose, but what they’re clearly kinda selecting for is a population of able twentysomethings who can all have sex with each other. and the thing is that there’s often a vibe they feel annoyed by seeing people they don’t want to fuck (children, middle-aged people, unfashionable queer people, people unironically wearing trout t shirts).
So in my admittedly highly limited personal experience, the exclusionary “queer spaces” just tend to be an elaborate drama-production exercise for twentysomethings to date each other, the rituals are intricate etc.
And all the rest of the weird queer people are just. at the seed swap.
You know when you write something that seems to shimmer with brilliance on one side of the clock and you have to check it on the other just to make sure you haven’t, like, destroyed your reputation or something
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