la plus belle des malédictions

Sloth / aro / any pronouns / kotlc, atla, whatever else I happen to be into

[amenacingsloth]

My comfort character <3 (she makes me cry horribly)

[jewelcoatfish]

whenever ilya gets too drunk people call shane. shane comes in and nudges ilya and ilya drapes himself onto shane and looks at him all dopey.

“you are here” “of course i am” “shane hollander is taking me home” “shane hollander-rozanov is taking you home” “shane hollander takes my last name” “yes he did. do you want to come home with him?” “i’ll go anywhere shane hollander goes” “okay then let’s go home baby”

ilya drunkenly smiles and babbles to anyone that listens that his husband is taking him home. his husband shane hollander-rozanov. did he mention shane was his husband? did he mention shane took his last name? and shane would find it cute if ilya wasn’t wiggling all over the place and make it very difficult for him to take home.

[gaynehollander]

Sometimes I think about the fact that almost every single person who found out about Shane and Ilya felt the need to ask Shane "him? really? he's the one you want to be with?"

I think about how Ilya has had to make his way through life mostly on his own since he was twelve years old, about how he moved to a new country as a teenager and was immediately thrust in front of a camera without knowing the language or how to cope with his newfound fame. I think about the preconceived notions of Russians and how, in the absence of being able to accurately communicate (both because of the language barrier and his repressive upbringing), Ilya decided to or was forced to lean into that stereotype. I think about how soft Ilya allows himself to be with Shane, about how he takes care of him, about how silly and goofy he can be, how he's sometimes just a grown kid, how other times he's the only person who can shut Shane's brain off. I think about how kind he is, how caring, how deeply he feels, how incredibly empathetic he is. I think about how wildly Shane loves him. How there literally never could have been anyone else. I think about how incredibly hurtful it is that no one trusts Shane to make his own decisions about his own fucking life and how much it hurts seeing the coldness the world regards his partner with. I think about Shane getting home and walking straight into Ilya's arms, after having to (once again) justify his love for the best man he's ever known, allowing himself to take comfort in his warm embrace, even when it feels to Shane like he should be the one providing both comfort and shelter.

I think about the surety Shane would feel when thinking to himself, "yes. Him. No one else."

[gayhockeyshow]

Hey…. Hey… Characters covered in blood, okay? You remember characters covered in blood?? You used to love characters covered in blood

[lilyflxwers]

ok i absolutely need to know what accents u all have pls reblog and tell me or comment or whatever I must know

[boginyagroz]

the first time ilya takes shane to the club after they get married, he shaves beforehand, puts on a tight black tank top and sprays himself with his fuckboy cologne from the hookup era. shane is already horny for him even before they leave the house — crucially, he loves fuckboy ilya, because come on, he’s been fucking this man for years when he looked exactly like this.

at the club, ilya buys out the entire dj set to only play 2010s club anthems all night long. he wants to give shane the ultimate 2010s clubbing experience he never had, but also make up for all those nights ilya had to spend dancing and making out with strangers and not the one person he wanted. but now he gets to do all this with his husband! who is delightfully hard for him by the way, because shane finds sleazy club slut ilya absolutely irresistible. ilya is gripping his hips, grinding against him, licking his neck and whispering the dirtiest filth into his ear, and shane gets dizzying butterflies he imagines all those girls got back then. and he isn’t even retroactively jealous, because now his ring is on ilya’s finger, and oh god, he gets to be taken home by ilya rozanov! he gets to have all his attention now and get railed stupid by him later!! in their shared home!!! shane is living his dream life, and ilya is right there with him.

[ilyapasta]

I think Ilya enjoys reinventing himself a bit after his move to Ottawa. Shedding components of his old self in favor of the new. He is now guy who loves dogs. Guy who is on friendly terms with the gay social media manager. Guy who is secretive about how he spends his private time. Guy who goes on mental health walks. Guy who goes to Scott Hunter’s gay bar. Guy who has made sacrifices for something important. Guy who has an air of quiet mystique. Guy who is so in love he thinks it must be written all over his face. Guy who is the most depressed he’s ever been despite occasional ecstatic happiness. Guy who looks forward to the Summer.

[loveridden1999]

top 3 hobbies for young adults:

1. borrowing misery from future

2. carrying grief of the past

3. agonizing over the present

[wolvieispunk]

Shane doesnt really believe ilya's been in love with him since they were 17 until he reveals that when the plane was going down and he was feverishly texting Shane, while he was begging something higher than himself for more time to love Shane properly, the image in his head after 12+ years of scenes he could conjure was a parking lot outside a rink in Saskatchewan, and a pretty, freckled boy telling him he shouldnt smoke there.

[shanehollandered]

i hope we all understand how quintessentially them it is that when yuna asks if shane and ilya have been in love since their rookie season, they both immediately go “no. no no no no no” with disgusted faces on

[jewelcoatfish]

hollanov is batshit crazy about each other and the centaurs are mildly concerned about it but they seem well-adjusted regardless and it helps them win games so whatever. they do have a bit of an existential crisis about it though. like are they supposed to be that obsessed with their partner too? to which their partner say if they were that clingy the partner would be very scared.

[lavenderprose]

Ilya is so lucky that Shane proposed. Ilya would have been a nervous fucking wreck for the entire day beforehand. Wake up in the morning. Look in the mirror. Today's the day. Sob. Breathe. Okay I'm good! Turn around and Shane's hair is all in his face, still asleep on Ilya's pillow. I am NOT good. Cold shower. Breakfast that Ilya does not eat. Morning jog wherein Ilya runs like someone is chasing him. Lunch that Ilya does not eat. Drive out to the cottage. Make Shane pull over because Ilya needs to dry heave on the side of the road. "Baby we don't have to drive out today if you're not feeling well." "NO WE HAVE TO." Get to the cottage. Immediately send Shane on some kind of extended fool's errand. Shane wants to stay because Ilya is SHAKING and he is so worried. "No my love I'm fine it's just the breeze off the lake haha." It's thirty fuckig degrees Celsius. Shane finally gtfo's. Yuna, David, Rose FUCKING Landry all descend to help Ilya set up. Well. Ilya is supposed to be helping but he is standing on the deck fully dissociating. Yuna brings him tea. "Are you going to throw up the tea?" "Yes probably." Yuna takes away the tea. 800 electronic tea lights on the deck. In a parallel Ilya has no way of understanding, he both puts on and takes off a suit. Yuna fixes his curls into the hockey boy quasi-mullet that magnetizes Shane's fingers to Ilya's hair and says, "Oh, you're so handsome!" Ilya cries big fat tears. David tells a story about how his proposal to Yuna almost didn't happen because David went to the hospital for heart palpitations that morning. Thank You David That Does Not Help Even Remotely. Ilya slav squats on the lawn for twenty minutes. Shane's car pulls up in the driveway and everyone hides while Ilya vibrates in the entryway. Shane has no less than thirty grocery bags hanging from his arms, still complaining about why the grocery service cancelled their delivery last minute. Ilya leads Shane and all thirty of his grocery bags onto the deck. Shane is doing his favorite thing (bitching) and his second favorite thing (Follow Ilya) so he doesn't notice his own mother tiptoing behind him collecting the grocery bags he drops like breadcrumbs. There is an Oscar-winning actress hiding under his sofa and Shane does not notice because Ilya takes him on the deck and drops to his knees and Shane is like, "Haha, right now?" and then he sees that Ilya has a look on his face like he's just been told the sun is never coming up again and he has his hands on Shane's knees and he is saying, "Shane. Please?" and Shane puts his hands on his head and says "Oh my God baby what's happening to you" as Ilya melts and melts and then from the depths of the cottage someone who sounds a lot like Shane's very own father is whispering "The ring the ring" and when he looks back down Ilya is fumbling a ring box out of his pocket. The first picture of their proposal is Shane glaring into the middle distance with a hand cradling Ilya's curls like a baby while Ilya ugly sobs into his knee.

[nettlepixie]

biblically accurate ilya rozanov proposal

[grabmybush]

ilya rozanov who’s known to boston as the mysterious fuckboy from russia who chirps like he’s getting paid for it and is crazy good at hockey. one day a teammate is absent from a few games in a row and turns back up to practice with a fucking newborn and they’re all in their hockey gear fawning over this tiny baby. then once everyone’s said hi before practice, the crowd parts and ilyas just stood by the doorway, a literal deer in headlights staring at the bundle of blankets in his teammates arms and-

“do you wanna hold him?”

ilya’s moving forward before he can process the words and everyone’s holding their breath as he gathers the newborn into his arms, pausing to take his gloves off first. it’s a few tense seconds before the baby babbles and shifts slightly before tucking his head into the crook of his arm and swiftly falling to sleep.

ilya looks up to see his whole team stifling grins, “i think we’ve found the new babysitter” and he bites back a chirp because he doesn’t want to wake the baby he’s holding so delicately to his chest.

he’s stuck on the sidelines for the whole practice while he rocks the baby through the slams against walls, waving its little arm towards its dad when it eventually wakes up.

and yeah pictures surface soon after of fucking rozanov staring down at the baby in his arms with the fucking softest eyes and twitter has a field day proving he’s a softie at heart

[gaynehollander]

My Shane and Ilya are both incredibly possessive of one another and quick to jealousy but while Ilya gets jealous in a “everyone wants you but they can’t have you, you’re mine and I will delight in showing everyone what they’re missing out on” way, Shane gets jealous in a “I will burn this club down with both of us in it” way.

[ilyapasta]

Let me settle this. Neither Svetlana nor Ilya are the sensible friend. Neither one is doing well. They are losing things in the club. Debit card: gone. Passport: wet. They are putting tablets in each other’s mouths. They are winking at each other as they lead various pretty people to the bathroom. They are screaming “this is my song!!!!” Whenever some generic 2010s anthem comes on. The only thing I’ll concede is that sometimes one of them is slightly less drunk when they’re getting home and helping the other one and when it’s Ilya who is slightly less drunk his inner monologue is “this is how I prove myself as a man. I am the pinnacle of integrity. Is anyone watching me comport myself with respect and dignity as I assist this wild woman” but crucially he’s throwing up in a storm drain while Svetlana is screaming into her phone in Russian because Ilya was too busy puking to keep her from calling her ex.

Svetlana still lets him fuck her that night. No kissing tho.

[gaynehollander]

Yes, Ilya's possessive of Shane, he loves that Shane gives himself over to Ilya in a way no one else can have but, more importantly, he loves being Shane's. He loves the way Shane never lets him carry his own bags (though Ilya still makes sure to complain about it plenty). He loves the way Shane will gently adjust his position on the couch so that Ilya can curl up on his chest and the way he absentmindedly cards his fingers through his curls, even when he's distracted. He loves the way Shane takes care of him when he's sick, how he refuses to just let Ilya push through it and makes him lie down, brings him a cold compress and hot soup and takes his fever, running his hands through Ilya's sweaty hair calling him "sweetheart" and "poor baby." He loves how jealous Shane gets at the smallest thing, he loves how huffy he gets, how it's the only time he'll really instigate public displays of affection, and how it's born out of a need to stake his claim. Ilya would happily help him along with that goal but Shane had shot down his very reasonable idea of getting property of Shane Hollander tattooed on his thigh (though not before they fucked about it). He loves being buried in Shane's body, thrusting slowly into him and whispering "yours" until Shane, blissed out and writhing beneath him, confirms it. "Mine."

[hudconvent]

i really am tickled by the idea of scott hunter being canonically only 3 yrs older than ilya and catching stray after stray for being old. yet also in my mind cliff is fully in his mid 30s when ilya is a rookie and whenever they get drunk together cliff gets emotional and is like “do you think im washed lil bro…..” and ilya is like “NO are you kidding me……you are stud…..just now in your prime…..”