AnasAbdin
JBB: An Artblog!
#extradirty
trying on a metaphor
JVL
Game of Thrones Daily
No title available
No title available
sheepfilms
ojovivo
Claire Keane
Sade Olutola
Monterey Bay Aquarium
One Nice Bug Per Day
titsay
No title available
izzy's playlists!
tannertan36
we're not kids anymore.
Discoholic 🪩
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from Singapore
seen from Peru
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Costa Rica
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@amethystshipper
The Color Game. “Humans can’t reliably recall colors. This is a simple game to see how good (or bad) you are at it. We’ll show you five colors, then you’ll try and recreate them.” I scored 39/50 but got a perfect score on one color.
Remembering is less of an issue than navigating the colour slider, tbh.
addicted to this
< easy hard >
Derek rarely crashes out. Yes, he snaps and slams people against walls sometimes. But that’s mostly Derek being Derek. He hasn’t had a full blown crash out in front of the pack in forever.
That is until they find Stiles bloody and injured deep in the woods after looking for him for two days, having engaged the entire supernatural population of Beacon Hills, the whole sheriff’s station and all of agent McCall’s special contacts. Stiles was no where to be found.
And the strangest part was that no one was able to track him – no phone, no scent, no sound, no foot prints or anything.
So when they finally find Stiles sitting on the forest ground, next to the steaming dead body of a wendigo, and he explains that he used one of Deaton’s runes to hide his tracks from them, because he wanted to do this by himself, and “you guys never believe that I can do anything by myself, but look. I did it. He’s dead” – Derek crashes out.
No one stops him when he screams at Stiles that he’s a fucking idiot, that he shouldn’t let Stiles go anywhere ever again for the rest of his life.
And Stiles’ weak attempt to joke it away with “what, you gonna lock me in your tower or something?” only fuels Derek’s crash out.
Derek screams back that yeah, you know what? He’s gonna lock Stiles up. He would have his dad throw him in a cell at the station, but that’s not gonna do is it??
No, he continues, voice shaking with anger. No, because you would find a way, wouldn’t you. You always find a way, you stupid reckless idiot.
Maybe I should hold you down myself. Maybe I should have Deaton build a cell, reinforce it with the darkest fucking magic and summon some fucking dragon or something to guard it. Maybe there’s a ritual that makes you stay right where I can see you at all times so you can never leave me ever, you hear me?
And when Stiles points out that that might be illegal actually, Derek shouts that he doesn’t care.
He doesn’t care what it takes, as long as Stiles can’t wander around and be stupid and idiotic, as long as Derek doesn’t have to find his dead body.
Whatever it is, Derek’s gonna find it, and he’s gonna…and he’s gonna…
And he’s gonna sob uncontrollably into Stiles’ neck, apparently.
And Stiles is gonna hold him through it, and whisper that he’s sorry he scared him, he’s sorry he was so stupid, until there are only tiny sniffles left.
And he’s gonna press a kiss to Derek’s hair, holding him so tight, before whispering softly that he’ll always find a way.
hurt/comfort sterek my beloved
"they were his colors"
Random Tim-bits
Leave any fics you can think of in the replies! Don’t forget to leave kudos and comments on the fics you read <33
Refocus by roseandgold137
The Circumstances of Warmth by sElkieNight60
Jon meets the Teen Titans, meets Tim Drake, gets a new Idol (in that order) by Fandomtrash_whataboutit
Do I Look Like Him? By roseandgold137
Blackberry Tea by Mouse_in_this_house
so much you don’t know by konan_konan
The Family Disappointment by sElkieNight60
when the birds age out of their nests by ace_andi
Hold Me, Console Me by roseandgold137
Home Alone: Christmas at Titans Tower by Miss_Lazy_Tuesday
so much you don’t know by konan_konan
The Family Dissapointment by sElkieNight60
QUARANTINED: RED ROBIN’S TIKTOK ACCOUNT by JustThatOneGirl1815
zugzwang by sardonic_sprite
The Disappearance of Timothy Drake-Wayne and how Watcher Mystery Files solved it in one episode by nerdpoe
Pattern of Behavior by raven_of_hydecastle
Batstream by RandomReader13
Guide to Tim fics
Authors: @roseandgold137 @selkienight60
The thing about Dabi that gets me is there's always so much back and forth over if he cares about the League that I think it misses the greater point which is that the League cares about him. Because that's what the League does for its members, it takes them as they are and accepts them without demanding they change. Dabi is rude and avoidant and doesn't know how to connect with other people, and everyone unquestionably still sees him as an important part of the group.
Like the League itself never questions if he cares about them, mostly because I think they're not too hung up on what care is Supposed to look like. Dabi doesn't have to fit a specific behavior pattern to earn his place, none of them do.
Dabi's not sweet or soft and he's never had a friend in his life or really bonded with anyone that isn't his father. He doesn't really know how to talk to people without being an asshole and he's secretive about his life and his feelings. But he still spends time with them when he doesn't have to, he burns Hawks for killing Twice, he burns the house that holds Himiko's bad memories. For the League, that's enough to make him one of them and that's more than Dabi has anywhere else.
Sick batkids : Tim
Due to his lack of spleen, lack of sleep and ridiculous consumption of caffeinated energy drinks and soda, his immune system is shit. Someone coughs on this freak of nature once and he’s down for a week, at least he should be, he continues to work even when he’s in physical pain because of course he does. He has to be tackled and pulled away from him work when sick
__
Tim(blocked nose, threw up twice, running on empty): so we think the mother in law killed him because he hit her grandson and we think the brother helped-
Bruce: honey what are you doing
Tim: huh
Bruce: what are you doing sweetie
Tim: working??
Bruce: yeah no, go to bed
Tim: Nuh uh
Bruce(already picking him up): go to bed
Tim: :/
__
Bruce gets hit with truth serum but all it does is make him say his thoughts out loud as he has them (without knowing he's doing it) so he's just walking around the Watchertower monologuing about how much he loves his children, loves his city and loves and respects his coworkers and their abilities even if they're annoying AF. Everyone likes to make an excuse to see him just to see how he actually feels about them. It's usually 'you irritate me but I have to respect your abilities, I will never say this to your face'
Bruce, thinking aloud: I have to remember to take the chicken out of the freezer. Fuck it, I'll just make shit up and say one of the kids did something good and get them pizza instead. Steph needs cheering up, I guess.
Hal: Hey, Bats, you good-?
Bruce: Don't you have work to do?
Bruce, thinking: I should probably be nicer to Hal. It's not his fault he keeps putting his foot in his mouth. It's who he is.
Oliver: Hey, B, are you-?
Bruce: Green Arrow, you have greater concerns that me?
Bruce, thinking aloud: I know you do. You just want me for my body and only after a bottle of Rose. Why don't you love me, Ollie? Why?
Clark, realising what's happening: Bruce, I think you should sit down and-
Bruce, thinking out loud: THE ONLY PLSCE I WANT TO SIT IS ON YOUR FACE, KENT
there's a lot to bitch about re: supernatural but at least it was made in 2005 starring teen soap actors on the cw with one million episodes per season. that's real television. if they made that shit now it would be like six episodes on apple tv and glen powell would be in it. so count your fucking blessings.
You know, Touya doesn't get enough credit for being as emotionally stable as he was when he was younger. I keep seeing assholes prattle on and on about how Touya was such a fucked up kid, how he was born evil, and how insane he was and all. And honestly...Touya was distressingly fucking normal given everything he was going through. For him to be their definition of 'evil kid' is fucking ridiculous. Bakugo was more of a deranged violent child than Touya ever fucking was.
One, obviously those fuckers aren't taking the abuse he went through into account (none of them even fucking believe neglect is a form of abuse) and how that might affect someone psychologically growing up. It's useless to point that out to them, they do not care.
But two? For being so supposedly evil, the kid didn't do shit between the ages of eight and thirteen. After Touya lashes out and tries to attack Shoto, there's at least a five year timeskip, which I'm taking to mean that Touya didn't act out in any extreme or meaningful way that entire time. And even after that timeskip, there are only a few notable scenes he has until his death where his emotions get the better of him.
He snapped at his mom when she tried to prevent him from training and asked him if he still wanted to be a hero. He didn't even hurt or threaten her, just snapped, like teenagers tend to fucking do. And he pointed out that even though she didn't get a choice in how her life would be, she's still partially responsible for what's wrong with him and their family. Which I love Rei, and there wasn't much she could really do in her situation, but yeah. Touya isn't in the wrong here.
He's not even secluding himself or acting like an asshole like he does with the League when he's older. Sure he's an introverted loner who has no interest in making friends at school, but he still spends time with his sibilings. When Fuyumi and Natsuo ask, he goes to play with him. He doesn't even get upset when he trips over himself while he's playing like other kids would, he just looks pissed off when he sees Shoto and Endeavor in the window. And sure it's not Shoto's fault that Endeavor is neglecting the rest of his children, but Touya understands that even if there is some resentment there. He explains as much when he's talking to Natsuo.
When he vents to Natsuo, he gets pretty emotional because he feels ignored when his brother brushes him off (poor guy just wants to sleep, but no one bothered getting Touya a therapist to talk to so his little bro is all he's got left) but again, he doesn't actually lash out or hurt him over it, he just has a moment of panic that Natsuo is going to abandon him like everyone else.
Which I fucking hate when people use that scene to try to argue that Touya's misogynistic when he calls the women in the family useless. Touya's just frustrated here because he feels like Natsuo is the only person in the family he can talk to. Fuyumi wanting to pretend that everything is fine probably really hurts Touya. She's just a year younger than him, she's the only other person who knew what Endeavor was like when their family was at its happiest, but he can't vent to her the same way he does to Natsuo even though they should be the closest of all the siblings. Calling his sister and mom useless is kinda fucked up and not really taking their own trauma into account, but he's an emotionally distressed teenager and they aren't acknowledging his pain or how messed up their family dynamics are. He's not in the wrong, and it's not like he's saying it to their faces. He's confiding his frustration to his brother.
The only other instance of his supposed misogyny is when he's like fucking five and says "girls wouldn't understand", which one is definitely something he's parroting Endeavor on given how young he is. And two, that's just how some kids fucking talk at that age. I've seen so many shonen type shows where characters say shit like that, as fucking adults even. And also, Horikoshi himself is misogynistic. He's not making any grand fucking statement about Touya's mentality towards women with these two throwaway comments. As an adult, Touya doesn't treat Toga as any less capable than the rest of the League, and he fucking bails the second Mirko shows up even though he had his dad cornered in Kyushu because he knew she could kick his fucking ass.
Touya was also incredibly intelligent and self aware as a kid. At basically five years old he fully understands that his dad only had him for one purpose. Which is fucked up for a kid at any age to come to terms with given the eugenics experiment Endeavor was pulling on his own fucking children, but Touya was only five. He likely understood he was bred to beat All Might before he even learned to read. Touya knew his mom was bought for her quirk, and knew why they kept having kids. He saw himself as a failure because of his quirk, because that's what his father viewed him as.
Touya's the one that explains to Endeavor that because of how Endeavor raised him and how he drilled his own selfish fucking dreams into him at such a young age, and because of societal expectations, he can't let go of the goal to be a hero even though his quirk burns him. That because he's the Number Two Pro Hero's son things are different for him than they are with other kids and he can't relate to them enough to make friends. And he's only fucking eight when he points this out. He self-analyzes his actions when he's thirteen about none of this being Shoto's fault, that he was wrong to try to attack him and Endeavor is the one really at fault, even already musing that other heroes are probably equally as fucked up. And even with the League, he may be a dick at times, but he's also emotionally intelligent and gives encouragement to Twice and Toga when they need it.
The only other outburst he has before his first death is when he's trying to get his dad to come to Sekoto Peak to see what he can do with his flames now. He isn't even angry, just desperate for validation for once in his fucking life, and he starts spiraling when Endeavor won't listen to him. (Touya absolutely has ADHD and rejection sensitive dysphoria.)
Outside of the whole constantly training and burning himself on a mountain thing, and some emotional dysregulation issues, Touya was just a sweet quiet kid who occasionally lashed out, but that's so fucking normal and completely warranted given his circumstances. He probably had good grades and stayed out of trouble since he was still chasing his father's approval. Even after he woke up from his coma he just wanted to apologize to his mom and come home, he accepted he couldn't be a hero anymore with how fucked up his body was. He only wanted to be with his family, and for them to see him.
I just don't think Touya gets enough credit for being as stable as he actually was. With how some people act you'd think he was trying to kill Shoto every week and torturing animals on Sekoto Peak when the only person he ever hurt as a kid was himself. And even after all of that he didn't have any notable crimes under his belt until he joined the League.
This little guy is the kid who people think was 'born evil', was an unhinged psychopath as a child, and was always destined to become a villain? Fuck off with that, it's fucking pathetic.
Werewolfing Heights
"You won't go." Derek bit off.
"Excuse me? I've been texting with the emissary from Sacramento. I'm supposed to meet with-"
"I forbid it."
Stiles scowled. "You forbid it. What is this, fucking werewolf Wuthering Heights? Werewolfing Heights? You don't forbid me anything, also I'm pretty fucking sure I outrank you, beta."
Derek scowled right back.
"This pack meeting is supposed to be fun, and educational. It's very important that we make a good impression with so much-"
"Scott can go. A few betas. You don't need to go." Derek said firmly.
"What the fuck... why can't I go?" Stiles slams his hands down on the desk.
Derek looked stricken, silent in a way that was totally different from his normal stubborn quiet. He looked like he was on the verge of chewing his own tongue off.
"Derek. Tell me."
A quick sketch of Chengxian kissing🌸
Red Hood, in the middle of a meeting with his goons: So we’ll gather over here at-
Batman, dropping down from the ceiling: Red Hood
Goons, trembling in fear but standing up to fight: Shit… what’s the Bat doing here
Red Hood, aggressively: What are you doing here, old man?
Batman, pulling out a lunch box: You forgot your lunch in the cave *walks over and hands it to him before peppering his cheeks with kisses*
Red Hood: Oh my gosh, Pa! Stop! You’re trying to embarrass me on purpose! *pushing Batman away and blushing under his mask*
Batman, taking out his grappling hook: No idea what you mean. Stay safe. Bye *leaves*
Goons, stunned: Whoa… boss, you are so red
Red Hood: Shut up! No I’m not! *shoves helmet on to cover his blush*
——
Tim, squished in a chair with Bruce: … so tight… so uncomfortable…
Bruce, typing away on his computer: That’s your fault. It was a perfectly fine chair with only me in it, then you suddenly came
Tim, squirming: Yes, but…
Bruce: Want me to move? You’ll have the chair to yourself
Tim, practically in Bruce’s lap: No
——
Bruce, watching TikToks in his room: Hmm *watching a video about Velcro babies*
Bruce, looking up: Hrn…
Jason and Duke are playing Sorry!. Dick is allowing Cass to adorn his hair with accessories. Steph is painting her nails. Damian is snuggled into his side, drawing. Tim is asleep across his lap. All of this was done on his bed
——
During an interview
Bruce: -So I believe that it would be best for us to leave that land alone for the native wildlife.
Bruce: Taking and destroying such precious land for a profit is disgusting, and I think Lexcorp should really start to think of the environment more
Bruce: Anything to add, baby?
Damian, half asleep on Bruce’s hip: … fuck Lex Luther
Bruce: …
Bruce: Well… you heard him
——
Tim, high on morphine from a procedure: Dad…?
Bruce, carding his finger through Tim’s hair: Yes, baby?
Tim, starting to cry: Daddy… I have something t-to tell you!
Bruce, panicking: Tim? Sweetheart, what’s wrong?? Do you feel pain? Are you-
Tim: I-I like girls a-and guys!
Bruce: What?? Oh… oh sweetheart. I already knew that
Tim: Do you… Do you still love me??
Bruce: More than all the stars in the sky. Why don't we try to get some sleep, hmm?
——
Reporter, running up to Batman: Mister Batman! Mister Batman
Batman: … *debating on escaping*
Reporter, holding up a picture of Signal: The world wants to know... is Signal yours?
Batman: …
Batman: What’s that in his chest?
Reporter: The symbol? … I guess it looks like a bat
Batman: Okay. Now stop asking me stupid questions. Use your brain.
Batman: I own the bat. Why else would anyone wear it? *disappears*
——
Steph: Hey, B man
Steph: I want a piggyback ride
Bruce: To where?
Steph, tense: Nowhere. Yes or no, man
Bruce: ? *wants to ask if she’s ok, but she’s got a vibe about her*
Bruce, in a joking tone: What’s in it for me, toots?
Steph, relaxing at not being interrogated: Undivided physical contact with me, your lifelong dream
Bruce: Deal
——
Alfred, strained: I love you very much
Bruce, searching his face: …
Bruce, genuinely confused: When did you get so bad at lying?
——
Duke, delirious from food poisoning: I… I can see a light
Damian: Shush, Thomas, you’re staring straight at the lamp
Duke: G-Grandma Wayne? Is that you?
Bruce: You’ve never met your Grandma. Stay with me, Duke!
——
Cass, sending Bruce a fit check video: -and then the boots you bought me last time
Bruce, texting back: Is that my jacket?
Cass: Nope
Bruce: I’ve been looking for that. You know I’ve been looking for that
Cass: No clue what you’re talking about dad
Bruce: Princess…
——
Bruce: I’m in Stephanie’s Hulu
Dick: We both know you have enough money to buy the company itself
Dick: Why are you on Steph’s Hulu
Bruce: I dunno, but I am
Bruce: She made an account for me, and she changes my profile picture every day
——
Duke: We’re supposed to talk about our emotions
Damian: Like what a healthy family is supposed to do?
Duke: Yes!
Bruce: Yes, we’re all in this together
Bruce: Like a hostage situation
——
Texting
Tim: Daddy-o, where are you
Bruce: I’m currently at the mall
Tim: You hate the mall?
Tim: Whore you with
Bruce: Please use an apostrophe
Bruce, sending a zoomed-in forehead pic of Stephanie grinning: Guess
Tim: You ever think it’s weird how my ex-girlfriend has integrated into our family?
Bruce: No
——
Alfred, sorting through a mountain of bouquets: …
Bruce, popping his head in: What are you doing? Why are there so many flowers?
Alfred: They’re all for you, Master Bruce
Alfred: I suppose someone is trying to woo you
Bruce: Oh…
Bruce: So what are you doing?
Alfred: Putting them away
Alfred: One pile for the wilted and dead. Another for my compost bin, and a third to donate to the women’s shelter
Bruce: …I don’t get flowers?
Alfred: No one is good enough for you, my boy
Alfred: I’ll buy you flowers later
Bruce: Okey. Yay <3
——
Bruce, on the couch, cuddling with Damian for the past two hours and watching Gray Ghost: *looks up when Tim enters the room* Hi, love
Tim: Can I-
Damian: No!
Damian: You had Baba all to yourself yesterday while I was at school
Damian: He’s mine today
Tim: Jealous bitch-
Bruce: Tim!
——
Cass: You okay?
Bruce, visibly on the verge of tears: Yeah *emotionless*
Cass: You are a lying liar who lies a lot
——
Bruce, rubbing his temples: Urg…
Jason: Whoa, what’s up with you?
Bruce: I’ve got this insistent headache that won’t go away… It’s killing me
Jason: Shit… did you get poisoned?
Jason: What was the last thing you ate?
Bruce, thinking: …
Bruce, thinking harder: …
Jason: …
Jason: When was the last time you ate something?
Bruce, thinking: …
Bruce, thinking harder: …
Jason: Dad! *dragging him to the kitchen*
——
Steph: *trips and falls on her face* Ack!
Bruce, desperately trying not to laugh: Oh, gumdrop *helping her up*
Steph: You sound incredibly condescending *allows Bruce to brush her off and hug her*
Bruce, hiding his face in Steph’s hair so he doesn’t laugh: No, of course not
——
Dick: Strongest immune system? You don’t count
Bruce: Hmm
Bruce: Could be Duke. He keeps eating shit off the ground, and we’re in Gotham
Duke: Hey!
Dick: True, it’s probably radioactive
Duke: I’m literally fine! You guys are mean!
——
Bruce: Hi, I’m Bruce, and when I was eight years old, my parents and I were coming back from the movie that I begged to go to on my birthday, when they were shot and brutally killed in front of me in a botched mugging
Bruce: I then had to stay with their dead and cooling bodies for hours in an alley way, covered in their blood, holding their hands, with people walking past and seeing me but not calling anyone, until the police finally arrived in the morning where they continued to ignore me for hours and kept me sitting in a pool of my parents blood, and when they actually started talking to me the first thing they did was ask if I was the one who killed them
Bruce: And people till this day question why my parents decided to go down Crime Alley, but it literally wasn’t called that back then. It was just Park Row. The crime was the murder of my parents. That’s why it’s now called Crime Alley, literally because of the crime of my parents’ murder. Their deaths fundamentally changed all of Gotham
Bruce: And I brought jumbo sour gummy worms
Duke: … Damn, coming out with the big guns right away
Cass: I told you this wasn’t the right ‘mood game’ to play in this family, especially
Dick: Now, if I follow up with my parents dying in front of me, it sounds like I’m copying you
Dick: Also, you being there made it significantly better for me
Jason: That’s why you gotta have more than one dipshit
Dick: I do have more than one! That’s just the first one
Steph: Wait, that’s seriously why it’s called Crime Alley?
Steph: Damn…
Bruce: I tried going for the least traumatizing thing that’s happened to me… I guess
Tim: I’m just glad you didn’t start the cult story; that one scared me
Bruce: … which cult?
Tim: ?
Tim: The super scary one that you were telling me about
Bruce: …
Bruce: That actually doesn’t narrow it down for me
Damian: Baba, the fact that there are so many that you don’t know is truly worrying
Cass: I’ve killed some clut members…
Steph: Inspiring Cass, truly
Cass, shrugging: Felt like I needed to say something
Cass: Can I have that as my thing?
Steph: No
Jason: We’ve all killed a few cult members before, you’re not special
Damian, nodding along: Yes, it’s quite easy
Duke: The fact that you’re not saying anything against that statement is concerning, Bruce
Bruce: Technically… I only indirectly caused their deaths… mostly
Dick, sneaking a hand into the bowl: I’m learning so much about you
Bruce, smacking his hand away: Don’t eat the gummy worms before anyone else has gone!
——
Bruce: I promise to rest for at least a week
Bruce: No, I swear it. On my life
Alfred: Master Bruce, you are suicidal in the highest degree
Alfred: Swear on anything else
——
Bruce, giving Dick something he hasn’t had since childhood: Here
Dick, ecstatic: Whoa! How’d you remember I liked this?
Bruce: Photographic memory. Total recall, chickadee, remember?
Dick: No, but you obviously did *kneels over laughing and slapping his knee*
——
Jason: I’m gonna torture you
Bruce: I told you, I didn’t even eat the last brownie
Bruce: I'm only a calorie deficit for a photoshoot
Jason: I’m gonna gather every single person you know
Jason: And we’re gonna form a human circle around you
Bruce: Where is this going?
Jason: Then we’ll just shout compliments at you! And they’ll be meaningful and deep, not surface-level!
Bruce, horrified: Don’t you fucking dare
——
Bruce: Damn, Alfred is inquiring about upping my anti psychotics
Dick: Ha, loser
Bruce: Bitch I’ll make him up yours too, don’t test me
Jason: Since when do you two need psych meds?
Bruce, looking over at Dick: Uh
Dick, sweating: Umm, you know, it doesn’t really matter
——
Duke: You ever notice how a swarm of bats always follows you?
Bruce: Hm?
Duke: Like, when you're bat-manning. Bats come out of the woodwork
Duke: It really adds to your whole aura
Bruce: I… I don’t think that’s a thing
Duke: It is
——
Jason, angry: Why do you keep walking away from me when I’m talking to you?!
Bruce, refusing to look at him: You talk with your hands
Jason: …
Jason: Fucking so?!
Bruce: So.
Bruce: You’re carrying your gun. You keep waving it in my face
Bruce: I can handle a lot of things from you, but not that
Bruce: Never that
——
Bruce, sick: Oh, it’s a cold, cruel world out here
Steph: I can ask Alfie to make you hot chocolate
Bruce: No, he makes it with water instead of milk
Bruce: It’s nasty
——
Alfred, trying out a new bread recipe: What do you think, Master Bruce?
Alfred: It is made from whole wheat flour and a small amount of cornmeal. It also contains oats, chia seeds, flax seeds, and hemp seeds. I also took the liberty of adding walnuts, almonds, and pistachios.
Bruce, chewing on the grainy and crumbly piece of bread, close to tears: I feel like a bird…
Bruce: Is this punishment? Did I do something wrong?
Alfred, offended: It’s healthy
Bruce, already crying: What did I do??? I don’t like this! *crumbs flying everywhere*
——
Batman: Between hurtling into traffic at 180 mph and changing this song
Batman: I will change this song
Dick: Dad! Both hands on the wheel!
——
Bruce: I so sleepy
Alfred: Go upstairs and take a nap
Bruce: Noooo. I won’t be sleepy if I have to move
Alfred: You can’t nap here, you’ll get a crick in your neck
Bruce: Everyone has to make sacrifices
——
Bruce, pale: Urgh…
Jason: Damn, Pa, what’s up? You lookin' fucking horrible
Bruce: I’m supposed to hang out with Cass and Damian today…
Dick: And…? What’s that gotta do with you looking sick
Tim: Oh, I get it. It’s an anxiety thing
Jason: Huh
Bruce: It’s just… leading up to an outing is always the worst. The impending sense of doom is very strong
Bruce: I know I’m gonna have fun when I get there, and I’ll enjoy myself. But I wanna cancel, I feel like throwing up, and I’m so fucking nervous
Jason: Yo… these are your children you’re hanging out with
Bruce: I know, you’d think my body would get the memo and chill out, but no
Tim: Yeah, I get it all the time
——
Texting
Bruce: Oh my gosh, why is nobody answering their fucking phones
Bruce: I’ve called you all a million fucking times
Bruce: What do I pay your stupid ass phone plans for
Bruce: Someone, come pick me up
Bruce: NOW
Bruce: I just got hit by a car pedestrian style
Bruce: I’m so fucking embarrassed
Several people typing at once
——
Tim: You ever think it’s weird how we can’t see Dad’s face when he’s wearing the cowl?
Dick: Hm?
Jason: Oh, the shadow thing?
Tim: Yeah!
Steph: It freaked me out the first time it happened
Steph: Like, no matter where I moved or what I did, I couldn’t see his face
Damian: Yes, I was… shaken the first time, when I could only see his white eyes peering at me from the shadows
Damian: His silence and stealth are unimaginable
Dick: Oh yeah… I guess we’ve all gotten used to it, huh?
Tim: I don’t think he even knows he’s doing it most of the time
Jason: Pa makes himself scary, but he’s oblivious to the fact that he' didn’t do that to make him scary 's scary without trying sometimes
Steph: You think it’s enchanted?
Dick: Like the cape?
Tim: Oh my gosh, the fucking cape!
Tim: I tried to figure out the logistics of that thing and almost gave myself an aneurysm
Jason: I went nuts the first time he became a blob in front of me
Steph: Love when he does that
Steph: Is it weird to call a grown man cute?
Damian: It makes me wonder where Father sourced his items
Dick: Dad makes them with regular fabric, believe it or not. He’s been making them since before I came around
Jason: Then what the fuck??
Steph: This is giving me a headache
Tim: Think he’d tell us if we asked?
Damian: Baba? No
Dick: True
——
Bruce, walking into the theater room: What’s everyone-
Dick: Shhh!
Steph: Yeah, man, the movie’s about to start
Cass: Been waiting on this release for two years
Duke: My hands are shaking. Literally, I’m dying
Jason: I’m only here because they forced me-
Tim: Shut up! You’ve been waiting for this since forever, just like the rest of us
Damian: Quiet, heathens! It’s starting!
Watching the movie silently in awe, then Bruce comes on screen
Cass: … what
Tim: Dad, you need to start suing someone cause they took your likeness
Bruce, raising an eyebrow: Thanks, but no. That’s me, sweetheart
Bruce: I am famous, remember?
Dick: When did this happen?!
Bruce: A while ago? Dickie you were there
Dick: …
Dick: I have actually nothing to say in defense of myself. I thought it was just a regular shoot and fell asleep
Jason: You’re such a fucking idiot
Steph: What the fuck, man?!
Damian: Baba, you should have told us you were going to star in such an important movie for this generation
Bruce: It’s literally on my calendar
Bruce: You’d know that if any of you bothered to look at it
Duke: Do you have other movies and shows lined up?
Bruce: *shrugs* Check the calendar
——
Tim, angrily: I can take care of it myself. I don’t need your help
Bruce, rolling his eyes and so over it: Sure thing, burger boy, I’ll leave it in your capable, greasy little hands
Tim, offended: What?! Burger boy?! Greasy little hands?! *shrill and high-pitched voice*
Bruce: Hey, you’re the one who named yourself after a fast food restaurant
——
Damian, trying to sneak out through the front door: …
Bruce, walking by: Ah ah *snaps fingers and points upstairs* Go
Damian: Ugh! *planning to sneak out the window*
Bruce: Don’t even fuckin think about it.
Damian: How did you-
Bruce: Oh, please. Do you see how many siblings you have? I’ve seen it all
Alfred: And done it all too
——
Steph, walking into the library: Whoa, what the fuck is happening?
Cass, actually on the verge of tears: Dad is ignoring me
Bruce, reading peacefully on a nearby couch: …
Steph: No way, B-man would never purposely ignore us when we’re not being shits. Especially not you
Bruce, turning his head and looking surprised: Oh, hello, girls
Bruce, taking out his ear plugs cause he was overstimulated earlier: Honey, Cassandra, hello. When did the two of you get here?
Bruce, looking at Cass, concerned: Are you alright, princess?
Cass, completely embarrassed: Peachy. Let’s go *tugging Stephanie out*
Steph, elated and laughing: Super assassin who notices everything did notice that-!
Bruce, confused: Hrn? Oh well. *puts earplugs back in*
——
Dick: Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving the country for two weeks?
Bruce, holding his luggage: Well, hello to you too, Richard. Yes, my plane ride was fine, I’m good, how’re you?
Dick: Cut the shit. You can’t just go missing like that
Dick: What if Gotham needed you or something?
Bruce: I wasn’t missing
Bruce: I told the people who needed to know
Dick: I-
Bruce: Besides, you haven’t talked to me in a week. Why would I tell you?
Bruce: Did you realize you needed me for something? Is that the only reason why you reached out and noticed I was gone?
Dick: That’s not-
Bruce: Dick. I just got home. Before we start another screaming match, can I see my other children first?
Bruce: I’d like to see Damian and Tim while I’m still in a good mood
Dick: … mhm
——
Tim: Hey, Dad-
Bruce: Not now, child number three
Tim, looking confused: Child number- *muttering to himself*
Bruce: Duke, Damian, and Cassandra are causing a ruckus
Bruce: If I don’t intervene now… people will die
Tim: The fuck are they doing?
——
Bruce: Alfie, I got a paper cut *holds up finger*
Bruce: See? It’s bleeding
Alfred, very serious: Oh my, that’s quite serious
Alfred: Shall I bring out the big guns? Dinosaur Band-Aids?
Bruce, also very serious: Yes, dinosaurs are very necessary
——
Batman, jumping from roof to roof during patrol: …
Marco, a seven-year-old boy who lives nearby: Mister Batman, Sir! Hello!
Batman: Hrn *jumps down* Marco
Marco: Oh, yay! You remember me! That’s good
Batman: Are you safe?
Marco: Yup! I just wanted to give you this! *holds up drawing* Mama said you’d really like it, so I did my best
Batman, gently taking the paper and exchanging it for a lollipop: I do. Thank you
Marco: Ooo, candy! Thank you, Mister Batman! Have a good day- I mean, night fighting crime! *runs away waving*
Batman: *gently folds the paper and puts it away. Pulling out his grappling gun and returning to patrolling*
Inspo from @wasted-by-someone
Dare I say Jiang Cheng...
buffy & spike + 🥰 🥰 🥰
there is no greater joy on this earth than Making Lists, Categorizing, & Sorting
oh do I have the game for you
I could . not. put. this down for 48 hours - stayed up too late, had weird dreams about it, woke up early, and played it while I was supposed to be doing other things. the last several dozen items took a lot of googling, which I do not even begrudge it.
and then. My partner started it. And the SAME THING happened to him.
surprisingly compelling. start when you have free time. like, yanno, a snow day.
