The Fail Tavern

My generic blog, reblogging random stuff. I play video games, tabletop games, watch anime, and read manga. Go ahead and ask me anything.

[alacerlucifer]

[electricbreeze]

Schrödinger’s boys

[klubbhead]

FUCK

[alphahoennomega]

What about cracking open a cold milkshake

[crystalsoulslayer]

As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.

[6qubed]

mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town

[veinitas]

me when i see a cat: CAT! cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat

[lurknomoar-deactivated20151109]

Fun fact: when I see cute animals, I forget English and automatically revert to my native Hungarian. I don’t know what bystanders make of me, reciting guttural gibberish to rabbits.

[quizzicalqueek]

But the real question is, what are you SAYING to the rabbits? Is it ‘RABBIT! rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit bunny bunny bunny awww cute bunnyyyyy’?

[lurknomoar-deactivated20151109]

Well, I usually say the Hungarian equivalent of ‘bun bun bun lil bun look at your tiny spoon-shaped ears awww bun brave little lawnmower bun’, but sometimes I say ‘hey rabbits, my sister’s gonna go to med school’ because I think everyone should know.

[littlegaywitch]

I live in Japan, and I always revert to English to talk to small animals, and I was cooing at this tiny little fluff machine of a puppy in baby english like “hello you’re so cute such a cute hello hello yess you’re good” and the 70 year old Japanese lady that was walking him started to *translate the baby talk english into Japanese* for her pup. She wanted to be sure he understood it too.

[sindri42]

https://xkcd.com/231/

[gjjuddmk2]

[hihogandalfaway]

(from @ruffboijuliaburnsides)

[prime-tiktoks]

[eddiedisasterdiaz]

[doubleca5t]

The designers of pokemon have finally been vindicated for putting a bunch of ice type pokemon in the "mineral" egg group

[pokemonheritageposts]

Pokemon Heritage Post

[soberscientistlife]

[elfwreck]

Context:

The original video, for anyone who hasn't seen it:

And the relevant album cover:

Sessler was a teenager when "We're Not Gonna Take It" it was on the charts. Probably had MTV so he saw the video.

No fuckin' idea how he thought it was in support of "traditional American values."

[t4t4t]

[metalheadsagainstfascism]

Never not reblog. Dee Snider is iconic and queer as fuck for a cishet man.

-fae

[kamikaze-kumquat]

No one disrespects my man Dee in this house.

[a-wonderful-use-of-server-space]

Never forget when he sat in front of a congressional hearing about Lewd Music Corrupting the Youth and completely shut that shit down in the most professional manner that no member of that committee expected from a hair metal musician. They thought they'd get easy points off of a dumb metalhead and this man not only knew exactly what the fuck he was talking about, he tore their arguments apart.

[teaboot]

DUDE THE VIDEOOO

[olderthannetfic]

For those unfamiliar with this ICON

[kyraneko]

This is why my working definition of queer is "queerness is that which accepts queerness."

It encompasses a radical welcome and celebration of things that deviate from "the norm" and a fierce willingness to defend them from people who think mere deviance is worthy of vicious and violent bullying.

[imasithduh]

Dee Snider is the embodiment of "Queer as in fuck you."

[brykilo]

I love seeing this post make the rounds

[madlori]

dee snider is a fucking icon, man

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Right wingers are incapable of creating anything of worth or value

They do not create art, literature, culture

Even most of their ideas are stolen

The only thing right wingers create is death and suffering.

They do nothing but take from others

They drain the world of life, while draining life from the world itself. There is no benefit to anyone other than themselves as a result of these actions.

There's a word in nature for such a creature

And that word is "Parasite"

Right wingers steal art, culture, music and ideas from those BETTER and SUPERIOR to them, because right wingers are a fucking parasite species that is a pest infestation upon the earth

[yardsards]

just remembered the other day a teen approached me holding a rapidly melting chunk of ice in his hand and asked if i wanted to buy a "limited edition pet rock"

[depsidase]

[victusinveritas]

[charlesoberonn]

Another old Soviet joke that is applicable today:

A man goes to the newspaper stand every morning, glances at the front page, and then walks away without buying anything.

One day the seller asks him: "Why are you only glancing at the front page?"

"I am looking for an obituary."

"That's your problem. The obituaries are on the back."

"Not the one I'm looking for."

[tubapun]

Note how these columns are designed to perfectly allow the climbing of small lizards up and down their faces. This is a typical example of Gecko-Roman architecture

[beggars-opera]

So I just found the most useful photo album in existence for tumblr arguments

[noldorinwa]

I HAVE FOUND MY FAVOURITE POST ON THE INTERNET

@georgeorwell @lordhellebore @francisperfectionbonnefoy @janiedean and everyone else have you guys seen this gem

[janiedean]

OH MY GOD I’M SAVING ALL  OF THESE RN

[nephilimeq]

This is awesome

[call-me-cee]

@aces-to-apples @elouanwrites thought y’all might like to save these for future use 😘

[queer-cosette]

@ayeforscotland dunno if you’ve seen this but I feel you could use it when the aresholes get a bit too cocky in the reblogs

[ayeforscotland]

Just need one with ‘Foul: Wee fud talking shite’ on it.

[goldensunset]

you! tumblr user!

[goldensunset]

can you reblog a two-part post in the correct order?

[tardisman14]

Reblog if, no matter the size of the role, you would agree to work with the Muppets if offered the chance to do so, no questions asked

[byz-was-here]

THEY WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO FINISH THE PITCH BEFORE I TELL EM I’M IN

[mothnem]

Recruiter: Hello, I'm with the Muppets and...

Me: Where do I sign?

[queenoftheantz]

Done :) with :) all :) your :) bitchcraft :) ✨

Did a lil dance for Marcille because I knew EXACTLY which song I wanted to have for her and I'm deep in my Dungeon meshi feels!

Song is Bitchcraft (Caravan palace remix) by Drake Bell

[wheeloffortune-design]

you know you're good at your job when every single person tells you "thank god you're back"

[sharkangelic]

Boss makes a dollar You make a dime You read unsanitary pirate slash On company time

[animate-mush]

Look if you read fanfic on the clock and everyone is still relieved that you're back you must just be that got-dang good at your job

[lasrina]

Fam, some jobs are like being a firefighter. 90% of the time you're not doing anything that important, but by golly, when they need you, they need you.

Some jobs, you can fuck around for six hours a day, but you know what you're doing so well that the work you do in two hours would take somebody else ten.

Some jobs, you spend those two hours preventing other people from making mistakes that would take 100 hours to fix if you weren't there to steer them right.

So don't buy into the idea that if you're not working 480 minutes a day, you're not doing enough to get paid a day's wages. That's the capitalism talking.

You're a better employee when you keep your morale up, and sometimes you do that by reading fanfiction on the clock in between putting out your little fires.

[maskdoll]

akemi homura can never resist the urge to aura farm it’s ingrained in her blood

[maskdoll]

madoka: no… mami died… how horrible…

homura:

[self-loving-vampire]

She really just does that constantly for no apparent reason, no matter the situation.

[coton-tulipe]

@cute-girls-from-vns-anime-manga

[sailor-arashi]

[macleod]

this fibonacci joke is as bad as the last two you heard combined