Nothing to See Here, Cousin.

A very small Anaander, really. Totally harmless, I promise. You won't even notice I'm here :) Fannish side blog, 30s, she/her, no minors please.

[asters-28]

CAPTAIN!!!! HIT HIM WITH THE MELANIN BEAM!!!!!!!

heavily inspired by this design by @gaudebo i love the idea that he looked at his hands and went I Am White. i assume he had some giant revelation eventually like OHHHH FUCK IM BLACK and Rocky is like wtf are you even talking about. Smash cut to Grace explaining race and ethnicity to a his best friend, the rock

[gaudebo]

do any of you want to hear abt my Black Ryland Grace headcanon

[gaudebo]

excellent. i am enabled once more.

this post is inspired in part by this one by @cheshirepirouette and sponsored in part by convos w @asteriis and @indouscurse here’s to y’all!! this post also goes out to my brothers, who are pale as hell for reasons unbeknownst to all of us (this is a joke).

like any good headcanon, this started as a joke because i thought to myself: Ryland sounds like the type of name that somebody’s Black child would have and only use on church sundays. nobody actually has ever called him that in his whole entire life, except maybe his mama SOMETIMES and that’s why he doesn’t remember it right away. i feel like every Black person knows somebody who is called literally anything except their god given name. people call him lil r, lil grace, gracie, ry, ryry, riri, RG, lando, mr. grace, dr. grace, but nobody calls him Ryland, which is part of why he Can’t Remember for so long.

so of course i went back to the source material to see if he ever actually mentioned being white anywhere and unfortunately it is very much at the beginning of the book. so THEN i started to think about how i could get around that while remaining at least largely canon compliant (as a little treat for myself). what i came up with is what i have affectionately dubbed my “litebrite baby” headcanon.

grace was not particularly dark skinned to begin with, and then spent years in a coma with literally no sunlight. he is downright vampiric by the time that he wakes up, and upon seeing his white ass skin, assumes that he is in his own words, a Caucasian male.

unfortunately for him, this fits in really well with his theme of lack of identity and lack of connection. i think for most Black people it would be extremely hard to forget that we’re Black regardless of how light or dark our skin tone is. but throughout the book, even when Grace is thinking about his old, slowly resurfacing memories, he never thinks about family, he never thinks about friends. except for his students and Project Hail Mary, he is completely unmoored.

i’ve seen a few different headcanons for why this might be: he was an only child whose single parent died young, he was cut off by his parents for some reason or another, he just isn’t ever triggered to remember. but no matter the reason, grace is disconnected from crucial aspects of himself. i think that by making him Black, and his Blackness something he can’t remember, it add an extra heartbreaking layer to his characterization. Blackness is such a communal experience, and when it’s not, it leaves behind an ache. growing up Black in White Suburbia i know well both the experience of clinging to one’s own in a hostile world AND the hurt that comes with being severed from one’s community. grace loses so much of himself with the amnesia, unable to recall who he is at the deepest of levels, and i think if he could remember to grieve it, it would devastate him.

i do think he would remember eventually, either when his hair starts growing out (because in the book Armando shaves him iirc), or when he can finally catch a glimpse of his reflection clearly, or when he has a memory of someone in his family. my personal belief is he has a memory beamed directly into his brain of asking “Mama, am I white?” and his poor, long-suffering mom saying, “Now who the hell told you that?”

and then it still never becomes relevant because he has negative desire to explain the nuances of human racial categories to an alien who quite literally cannot see color.

[gaudebo]

@shadeslayer YOU GET IT!!!

[gaudebo]

@therealjendavis i didn’t even think about that you’re so right

[gaudebo]

@cheshirepirouette screams and cries

the bond of being stratt’s left and right hands… hanging out with each other. developing a friendship. perhaps, for the first time, grace feels a sense of brotherhood. a sense of community. because carl gets it, doesn’t he? this situation they’re in? we’re in this together, man. right?

…right?

[cheshirepirouette]

It did not escape my notice that, of the two Black male characters in Project Hail Mary, one was in a pseudo-antagonistic role [if only briefly], and the other didn't have a speaking role at all and died.

The only Black woman that I'd noticed had maybe 3 lines, if I'm being generous.

[cheshirepirouette]

Like, imagine if Grace was cast as a Black character.

The beloved middle school teacher that goes above and beyond in teaching his students, and his students reciprocate his love in turn.

He's dorky, awkward, can't make it two steps without stumbling over something. So earnest about everything he does and considers, but still finds this divide between himself and others that he doesn't know how to cross.

Him being signed on to the project, with them making it just as clear that he's expendable. They want him for his knowledge and will take as much from him as they can, up to and including his own life.

"For the good of humanity". Grace, who declines the opportunity to go into space because he may be socially isolated, but he still wants to live.

And is then forced to go anyway. A one-way trip orchestrated by someone he thought was his friend, who betrayed him- who is willingly sending him off to his death.

Like, this one change and suddenly we're talking about medical racism and the ownership of Black bodies and how they're used and discarded afterwards.

The film could have Meant something more. It just feels like a wasted opportunity to me, especially with the ending. Grace could be more.

[gaudebo]

do any of you want to hear abt my Black Ryland Grace headcanon

[gaudebo]

excellent. i am enabled once more.

this post is inspired in part by this one by @cheshirepirouette and sponsored in part by convos w @asteriis and @indouscurse here’s to y’all!! this post also goes out to my brothers, who are pale as hell for reasons unbeknownst to all of us (this is a joke).

like any good headcanon, this started as a joke because i thought to myself: Ryland sounds like the type of name that somebody’s Black child would have and only use on church sundays. nobody actually has ever called him that in his whole entire life, except maybe his mama SOMETIMES and that’s why he doesn’t remember it right away. i feel like every Black person knows somebody who is called literally anything except their god given name. people call him lil r, lil grace, gracie, ry, ryry, riri, RG, lando, mr. grace, dr. grace, but nobody calls him Ryland, which is part of why he Can’t Remember for so long.

so of course i went back to the source material to see if he ever actually mentioned being white anywhere and unfortunately it is very much at the beginning of the book. so THEN i started to think about how i could get around that while remaining at least largely canon compliant (as a little treat for myself). what i came up with is what i have affectionately dubbed my “litebrite baby” headcanon.

grace was not particularly dark skinned to begin with, and then spent years in a coma with literally no sunlight. he is downright vampiric by the time that he wakes up, and upon seeing his white ass skin, assumes that he is in his own words, a Caucasian male.

unfortunately for him, this fits in really well with his theme of lack of identity and lack of connection. i think for most Black people it would be extremely hard to forget that we’re Black regardless of how light or dark our skin tone is. but throughout the book, even when Grace is thinking about his old, slowly resurfacing memories, he never thinks about family, he never thinks about friends. except for his students and Project Hail Mary, he is completely unmoored.

i’ve seen a few different headcanons for why this might be: he was an only child whose single parent died young, he was cut off by his parents for some reason or another, he just isn’t ever triggered to remember. but no matter the reason, grace is disconnected from crucial aspects of himself. i think that by making him Black, and his Blackness something he can’t remember, it add an extra heartbreaking layer to his characterization. Blackness is such a communal experience, and when it’s not, it leaves behind an ache. growing up Black in White Suburbia i know well both the experience of clinging to one’s own in a hostile world AND the hurt that comes with being severed from one’s community. grace loses so much of himself with the amnesia, unable to recall who he is at the deepest of levels, and i think if he could remember to grieve it, it would devastate him.

i do think he would remember eventually, either when his hair starts growing out (because in the book Armando shaves him iirc), or when he can finally catch a glimpse of his reflection clearly, or when he has a memory of someone in his family. my personal belief is he has a memory beamed directly into his brain of asking “Mama, am I white?” and his poor, long-suffering mom saying, “Now who the hell told you that?”

and then it still never becomes relevant because he has negative desire to explain the nuances of human racial categories to an alien who quite literally cannot see color.

[gaudebo]

he occupies all my thoughts

[ananaander]

it's so beautiful to see everyone realizing in real time that andy weir is a grade A idiot, couldn't have happened to a nicer guy

[lttrsfrmlnrrgby]

the problem with the carl/grace phm ship and too many other yes romo ships is we are STILL woobifying a grown ass man and making his adult growth dependent on a woman/black man/literal fucking alien instead of holding him accountable for his self-destructive and self-infantilizing behavior

mans tanked a whole-ass career instead of taking a second to double down on putting his math on the board instead of throwing a tantrum

not how the scientific method works, babe

launch the white cis man into space and strip him of the comforts of white supremacist, patriarchal, weaponized emotional incompetence

no loving partners of any aroace/qpr/whatever stripe for him until he really starts to work to learn on his own to be an adult

[normal-creature]

Here's a compilation of Grace fawning over Rocky in the book (might've missed some)

From that, they concluded that I must be able to see the Petrova line. They're smart. [pg.148] They connected my airlock to theirs, with a wall in the middle. Clever. [pg.166] "I like you, Rocky! You're a genius!" And he is! [pg.183] Brilliant. Simply brilliant. [pg.186] I bet Rocky's the captain! He puts himself at risk by talking to the scary alien. Everyone else stays back on the ship. That's what Captain Kirk would do. [pg.195] I've never seen him be wrong on arithmetic. [pg.211] Wow, he's quick. [pg.254] The closer we get, the more I respect Rocky's astronomy skills. [pg.278] "You're an amazing engineer." [pg.287] Rocky - ever the talented engineer [pg.309] He really is a genius. I wonder if all Eridians are like that, or if he's special. [pg.310] "Smart," I say. [pg.348] Rocky seems to be able to do pretty much anything. Either he's gifted, or all Eridians are like that. Either way, I'm incredibly lucky. [pg.365] the world's best engineer [pg.377] I don't doubt him for a second. The guy knows engineering. [pg.388] Rocky delivered on the testing apparatus as promised. As always, everything worked flawlessly. [pg.388] At this point I trust Rocky to do any engineering task. Heck, if he wanted to do open-heart surgery on me, I'd probably let him. [pg.410] Rocky's ad-hoc fuel bays are perfect, of course. [pg.419] "you're my best friend." [pg.425] I wish Rocky were here. [pg.438] I always wish Rocky were here. [pg.438] Rocky tends to find elegant solutions to complex problems. [pg.444] He's one of the most talented engineers on his entire planet! [pg.445] All of the hard stuff is already done, thanks to Rocky. [pg.451] There's nothing Rocky can't fix. [pg.454] Rocky could probably whip something up if he were here. [pg.457] I wish Rocky were here to help me save Rocky. [pg.457] "I have full faith in your abilities." [pg.488]

good grief GET A GRIIIIPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!

[valtsv]

well since nobody asked i think that rocky phm would love body horror movies and practical effects in general, the wetter and more saturated with nauseatingly biological sound effects the better + jerk off to them when grace isn't around also. follow me for more insightful thought provoking media analysis you won't get anywhere else.

[synthyk]

Rocky kind of gets slow boiled into his relationship with grace and doesn't define it. because why would he? He spends the first few days in denial that he can feel anything for this alien at all, and when he's finally ready to confront it, well. Rocky's going to go home alone after this. So it's literally not a problem. GRACE never asks to define what they are or what it means, either, so. Leaving it unstated is fine. So the sexual tension culminates in more and more frequent masturbation sessions and egg extraction and so on until its time for everyone to go home. And now it's time for everyone to forget about the weird half a year you let your alien friend jerk off in front of you and squeeze eggs out of your ovaries for health and pleasure. And that's sad, and you like this thing a lot, like it brought you peace and happiness at your worst and you nearly died for it and it for you and you DON'T want to leave it and be alone again, but it's for the best. So you say goodbye and start your trip back and can't help but wonder if your partner has moved on yet, or how fast they will want to when they meet the version of you that exists now after everything.

Then the taumoeba leak happens, and surprise! Grace is going to come live with you and die on your home planet!!! Isn't that fun? Do you want to commentate while I jerk off tonight before I go to sleep? I'm so excited to meet your mate :) I only live for 40 more years btw.

and that's when Rocky really starts to panic.

[manyblinkinglights]

#oh fuuuuck the consequences.... bro the consequences of my actions..... fuuuuck#I'm naked I'm cheating on my partner and everyone is going to know I fucked the Holes Creature. Awesome.#and if given a redo I'm fairly certain I would make the same choices again except maybe I would wear my stupid fucking sweater this time

[howling-wizard2]

he's just so shy~~~

[anattmar]

Fly, Mary

[howling-wizard2]

impact play 😇

[robotrocky]

tfw you want your best friend to study you (and your best friend also wants that sooooo badly)

[manyblinkinglights]

@grimark

[howling-wizard2]

obscene obscene obscene

[bigwozz]

An 11 year long call,

[salmonpiffy]

PHM spaceships gijinka

[lttrsfrmlnrrgby]

What about the ways Grace betrayed Stratt?

Thinking about book!Stratt and her impassioned attempt to make Grace understand when he says no, and thinking of Sandra Hüller's amazing acting during the chase scene and how she shows her sense of disappointment and betrayal in these beautiful, minute expressions. Thinking of the ways in which Grace betrayed her in so many ways despite the ways in which Grace had time and space to comprehend his unique skills and integrality to the running of the whole project. Thinking of the ways in which Grace's cowardice includes the refusal to face facts and think through not just what came next, but what came After the launch-- thinking through how badly Grace betrayed Eva Stratt, and not the reverse;

Eva Stratt, who took on an impossible burden, willing to go into it all on her own because no one else was willing to shoulder the skies

Eva Stratt, who sought out every possible scientist and engineer and resource able to think big about potential alien life and everything else they would need to combat the threat

Eva Stratt, who makes sure well in advance that she has permission and resources for world-saving work

Eva Stratt, whose selection of a fringe microbiologist with a genius for explaining dense terminology to lay people yields quicker, more productive decisions and avenues for research than any hidebound academic

Eva Stratt, whose microbiologist-teacher-translator understands how to administer too many projects and too many demands on his time and still carves out time to do more because that's what teachers do

Eva Stratt, whose right-hand man has answered, advised, and absolved her as they made horrible decisions that were the most likely to succeed toward the largest and best end of them all

Eva Stratt, who shared almost all of her plans and projects with her fringe microbiologist, teacher, second in command, project partner, her friend

Eva Stratt, who could trust her friend to make sound, difficult, scientifically valid, potential-maximizing decisions on the world's behalf because he loved it as much as she does

Eva Stratt (movie), who cannot be seen to falter or yield if any of this is going to work, takes a long moment of softness to try to offer some kind of assurance, camaraderie that they are all in their separate tasks still all in it together

Eva Stratt, who finds out at the last minute, on the precipice of deadly delay or potentially world-saving success, that her friend is a naive fool and a coward who never understood her or the mission and what was at stake after all

Eva Stratt, who'd hoped she wasn't alone in the willingness to do anything to save as much as they could

Eva Stratt, who found herself alone in making the world's hardest decisions, whose once-co-lead refused to help her make the awful, desperate, necessary decision together

Eva Stratt, whose friend betrayed her by never thinking all of it through. Betrayed by her right-hand, trusted project co-lead, translator of science bullshit, radical innovator and methodical scientist, who refused to follow the facts all the way to the proof he should have seen long before. Betrayed by her once-friend, now just Crew Member Number Three.

Eva Stratt, who loves the world enough to give up someone who has made her life and her work bearable, even as her once-friend proves his love is not the awful, all encompassing love that both she and the world need

Eva Stratt, who shoots her once-friend and still brilliant and innovative scientist into space anyway, because she has no other choice and now neither does he

Eva Stratt, who stands alone after the launch, and who'd hoped (in the quiet of her carefully cordoned off heart) that Grace would be by her side-- shouldering the heavens, pushing that boulder, stealing fire over and over until the sun brightened again or they'd wrung out every last gasp

Eva Stratt, who was right in thinking she'd stand alone at the end

I need a thousand fics from the in-canon Eva Stratt Was Right fanclub posthaste.

[manyblinkinglights]

#LITERALLY. LITERALLY.#grace stood by her side and yes-anded the plan to send the astronauts one way to save the world#and he was the one who betrayed her by refusing to do the same. you are her right-hand man you told her it was a viable plan you had your#hand in every design for the ship and the beetles and the amount of astrophage. you saw the shortlist of astronauts & you agreed to them#and you BETRAYED her. you COULDN'T do the same thing that you sentenced the two science officers you taught for months to do#she made the decision with you and you said No.#eva stratt#project hail mary