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@anarchohimbobread
Hey baby transmascs, never detransition for a shitty straight guy no matter how attractive he is or how lonely you feel. You deserve better, you deserve to be happy. You deserve a partner who will love you truly and want you to be the most authentic version of yourself.
[image id: a screenshot of a Tumblr ask from an anonymous user asking "opinion on trans men???" the op, elvis-official, replies saying "wouldn't hurt them to shut up sometimes." end id]
Image ID by: @/intersexvitrealis
Grows up as a woman being told to “shut up and sit down” all the time. Transition. Is still told to “shut up and sit down”. Get upset that you’re still facing misogyny even from members of your supposed community. Get told you’re transmisogynist, by the person who was being misogynist.
Welcome to being a trans man!! :)
“Trans men need to understand that as men, they have male privilege and have power over women, especially trans women.”
In the United States, there have been only four openly transgender officials elected to a Federal office position. Of them, only one is a transgender man, while the other 3 are trans women.
In the United States, only 22 openly transgender officials have been elected to a State office position. Of them, only one is a trans man, five are nonbinary, and the remaining 16 are trans women.
In the United States, 61 openly transgender officials have been elected to a Local office position. While hard to verify due to less information being available, only around 6-10 of those officials are potentially trans men, with a similar number potentially being nonbinary, leaving the remaining majority as trans women.
If trans men are truly so privileged over anyone, why are so few of them in positions of power in America? If they, and transmasculine people in general, have male privilege, why do we not dominate the demographics the same way cis men do over cis women? The takeaway from this isn’t some nonsense about trans women having male privilege, either- that would be ridiculous. Instead, it shows that neither of us do. Transmascs don’t have the power or recognition to oppress women, we don’t even have the ability to advocate for our own rights at the highest level.
Also, specifically with, “you have privilege over women, especially trans women,” this implies we have privilege over cis women.
There may be a select few trans men who will have experienced situational privilege over a cis woman where he is perceived as a cis man, however in general trans men are in much more danger of cis women than trans men are to cis women. There are quite a few powerful cis women in the world. I do not know of a singular trans man/masc with the societal power people portray us as having.
i keep noticing that conversations around jkr’s transphobia almost always center trans women, and it’s like we collectively forgot that she aimed her first major public attack at trans men and other afab trans people. the essay she circulated was fixated on the idea that trans men transition to “avoid womanhood,” especially autistic trans men, framing us as confused, impressionable, or socially pressured.
and the thing that really gets to me is how quickly people gloss over that part. that erasure is exactly what makes trans men feel like the canaries in the coal mine here: we were the first group she tested that rhetoric on, and the fact that it barely registers in the larger conversation just proves how easy it is to overlook us.
yes, she’s violently transphobic toward trans women, and that absolutely deserves attention. but it’s strange watching everyone act like it started there. it isn’t a competition, but the sequence matters because it shows a pattern.
this is also part of why i usually avoid fandom spaces. there’s a tendency to flatten everything into one neat discourse point and miss the underlying context. i was double-checking a character’s pronouns and ended up in a thread claiming that the d20 campaign i was watching (that was HEAVILY based on harry potter) doesn’t have any trans women “despite jkr’s transphobia mostly targeting trans women,” and it just made something click for me again. trans men are the canaries. the fact that people still forget that is kind of the whole point.
"trans men get easily into manosphere!!" ah yes because every misogynistic pro patriarchy cis man is going to happily open his arms for every trans guy and give a free gym membership card the second he hears the phrase "actually im a trans man". be fr right now.
If I’m “debating” you about gender affirming workouts and you “accidentally” say gender dysmorphia instead of dysphoria. I’m stopping the discussion full stop because that’s such a red flag that you do not have the knowledge (or like any understanding of trans people) to have that discussion.
I don't wanna sound like a guy that's like 'oh trans men have it harder than trans women' because i do not believe that to be true. But I do wish I didn't actively feel bad for saying it's hard being a trans man. I don't want it to become a "well trans women have it harder so shut up" because yeah in a lot of ways they do but also I don't think that should invalidate the feelings of trans men. We still deal with misogyny (mainly from childhood for those who now pass, but non passing trans men deal with it into adulthood too). We still deal with transphobia. We are also suffering under the current administration. I find it to be incredibly frustrating when it becomes "well trans men always make it about themselves" because I just don't feel like that's the case.
I wish saying 'trans men are suffering' didn't make me worry people interpret it as 'trans women have no issues'. Like, idk. I feel like I'm going crazy. Because I've heard so many people say trans men are transmisogynistic or just things they aren't due to them speaking out against their own experiences. It frustrates me.
Sorry. This probably doesn't make sense. I just hate the idea that trans men are some type of problem and they need to shut up. We're not a problem. We're speaking our mind and should be allowed to do that.
The only way forward is to stop treating masculinity as synonymous with harmful, monstrous, or dangerous.
Being a trans man is fun because before transitioning everyone tells you to shut up and stop whining in a misogynistic way and after transitioning everyone tells you to shut up and stop whining in a transphobic way
Kind reminder that playing Hogwarts Legacy even if it’s free right now is still borderline supporting JK Rowling. I understand that there’s no moral consumption under capitalism but if you intend on playing this game while it’s free, think about sending the $60 to trans people in need or the Trevor project. Here’s a link to a bunch of places to donate to: https://glaad.org/transgender/resources/
https://glaad.org/transgender/resources/
remember to take good care of yourself because that's literally your self dude. like that's you
i think i finally figured out what's been irking me so much:
"all girls are bad at math" <- not okay to say, because it is a gross generalization*
"all women are bad at driving" <- not okay to say, because it is a gross generalization*
"all men are trash/evil/abusers" <- somehow okay to say even though it's a gross generalization??? even often applauded???
It’s interesting to me how trans masculine peoples concerns and worries about reactions to their transition and presentation is never important enough for anyone. “I hope these pants don’t make me look too feminine” “I hope my voice is deep enough to pass” “I hope my shoulders are broad enough” all concerns from transmasculine people that no one else takes seriously. “I hope I’m not sexually assaulted for being trans” “I hope I’m not beaten up for using the men’s bathroom” “I hope I’m not verbally harassed in public for not passing today” all equally valid concerns about the reality of being a transmasculine person. No matter how drastic the concern or danger is, no matter how high the rate or suicide and sexual abuse for trans men is, the rest of the queer community doesn’t give a fuck and has not gone out of their way to support us and I feel like I’m allowed to be fucking pissed off when every valid fear and worry we have is treated like a god damn joke or like it’s not as important as everyone else’s.
you dont get the privilege of having ur name redacted if ur gonna take pride in wishing death to entire minority groups btw
list of everyone who liked or reblogged this post:
To any trans man who needs to hear this: When they say they “hate all men” or want to “kill all men,” you don’t have to just accept that. It’s okay to feel hurt, it’s okay to feel unsafe. It’s okay to recognize that they are either othering your manhood or demonizing you for it, and to call them out for it if you’re in a position to. If they have trauma around men, they can work on that in private instead of expressing harmful sentiments around their marginalized male friends. You deserve love and safety. I love you and I hope I can help you feel safe.
Being forcefully raised as a woman is not any less traumatic and emotionally repressive as being forcefully raised as a man. Femininity is not inherently pure and safe. Coercing someone to perform femininity is not any less toxic than coerced masculinity. Being dysphoric around femininity or having trauma from women doesn’t make you a misogynist.
