JVL
blake kathryn
Today's Document
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Andulka
tannertan36
No title available
taylor price
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Sade Olutola
🪼
if i look back, i am lost
noise dept.
Misplaced Lens Cap
Kaledo Art
AnasAbdin
titsay
No title available
@theartofmadeline
Mike Driver
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Iraq
seen from Iraq
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Italy
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Russia
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Canada
@andbindstheirwounds
what the fuck
Oh my FUCK it’s been a fucking minute....do I even still have followers? Does this shit still work the same? Fuckin hell. And holy shit was I a horribly depressed little 20 year old fuck. My poor little college bb.
Yet again, an unrealistic depiction.
There need to be more films geared towards male bully victims, male bullies, females bullying males, and males bullying females. Cruelty amongst kids stretches far beyond the “popular girls” and the “shy girl,” and their portrayals are annoyingly dramatized, which of course should be expected to an extent in a film but come on. Odd Girl Out, Cyberbully, now A Girl Like Her (which was the most offensively dramatized adaptation of this issue to date. Do I think a movie will help solve this issue? Obviously not. But it would be more relatable for kids if the films were more believable and not painfully stereotypical and it wouldn’t give adults this movie-image of what bullying looks like. Why not just fucking document real kids that deal with the real thing? Expose what actually happens.
Shit I’m sick of hearing
When people find out I am bi.
“It’s just a phase”
“So do you like girls or boys more?”
“So let’s have a threesome”
“That means you have threesomes huh”
“Damn that’s hot/sexy”
“I would LOVE to watch you with a girl”
“Damn you must be a freak huh”
“Oh shit ;)”
“What’s your preference? There’s always a preference.”
“Oh you’re into girls now?”
“But you’re dating a guy, so you’re straight”
“Are you really bi or are you just saying that?”
“So when you date a guy do you still hook up with girls?”
“Oh so you’re bicurious”
“I’ve got nudes of my ex gf”
“If we date you can still fuck girls” (Who said I had ANY interest in you??)
Bisexual does not mean: one who engages in threesomes and has sex with just anyone when asked. Educate your pea brain and stop being annoying. Thanks!
Hold up. Wait a minute.
I noticed that I've been eating a LOT over the weekend and I don't know why. I'll see something around the house and think "maybe I should have some" and that thought locks into my mind and an hour or so later I'm stuffing my face. I eat one thing after another until I'm full. I'll have a full meal and then start nibbling at other things. I told my friend it's like I get this nervous tick where I have to binge eat and I have no idea why. I feel sick and I want to throw up and sleep until Monday morning when I can run. I feel unclean, not in. A moral sense but in a physical sense. I feel gross in both senses. I had been doing well with losing a few pounds, slowly but surely. Now I feel like it's all coming back, and I think about that when I eat. But rather than stop I continue because I feel disgusted with myself, like I'm punishing myself by eating more. It makes absolutely no sense. And I need to reverse it NOW. I need to get back into the rhythm of running 5 days a week and getting more cardio in. I can't allow myself to be sick or to make myself sick. It's like a part of me wants to fail..
What can I do
I haven’t directly thought about my feelings on the assault in a long time. I haven’t felt the same fears as before, my anxiety isn’t triggered by related fears anymore. I can generally be around strangers and not fear for my life around every single one. I haven’t felt the need or desire to cut. I haven’t cried about it in a long time. But I have on and off thought about getting it all out in detail. Either recording it to hear it aloud or writing it all down. So tonight I decided to start writing. I am writing it in second person. And I got half way through and had to stop. I feel sick and ashamed and sad and angry and confused. I hadn’t thought about the details in a long time. Doing so is more painful than I expected. My body reacts in very upsetting yet human ways. And that makes me feel worse. And the thing is I get upset with myself, not with the person. I thought I was over that. But clearly I am not. I was off my meds, I am not seeing a therapist right now, I thought I was doing fine. I thought doing this “cleanse” of getting all the details out would help me. Maybe what I’m feeling is just temporary and I just needed this moment to cry it out, maybe this doesn’t mean I’ll spiral back down. But I am afraid now to find out. I don’t think I can continue writing the details. It’s too humiliating and painful. I thought I was okay. I thought I was fucking okay. I thought I was going to be okay. What have I done. What is happening. What is going to happen? This can’t happen again, it can’t go back to how it was again. I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep going back there. I don’t want to live like that anymore. I can’t do this. I want to be normal and live normally.
Identifying as edge was always meaningful to me ever since I learned about it. I felt like I finaly belonged somewhere when I felt out of place within my own social groups. I still strongly believe in living a clean lifestyle, and I respect straight edge. But I have realized I am not straight edge. I've been identifying with it while consciously knowing I have a chosen poison: caffeine. It may not seem like a big deal but at the rate im currently at with my caffeine intake i don't feel like I'm being honest haha. I'm at a point in my life where I dont feel the need to fit into any one group. Its relieving. #straightedge #mypoison #knowyourself #beinghonest #caffeine #nolabels #comfortable #findyourself #selfacceptance #itsallgood #pugsnotdrugs #sxe
Stay Strong
Came across a girl through the #WeAreSFS tag on instagram and was so inspired by her. She has her own set of obstacles in this fucked up world of depression and self harm. But tonight she was strong. I personally have not cut in about three months, but it has felt like a year. The battle is never easy. It fucking sucks. And even if we relapse sometimes, we are still fighting. We are not weak, we are hurting. But we are not alone. To all the fighters out there, know that there are millions of us who are fighting right along with you. You are loved, and you are worth it. Stay strong, lovelies.
Metamorphose
I’ve really been fighting with myself in so many areas of myself. Eat better. Sleep better. Look better. Try harder. Run more than once a week. I’ll feel super motivated one day and wake up not wanting to move the next morning. But I seriously need to kick this depression and this weight in the ass. I can’t wish any of it away, and I’ve only been half-assing the effort. No one else can do this for me, I have to take my physical and mental state back into my own hands. Being Christian I firmly believe God has my back, of course. But he gave me will power and ability for a reason. I’ve been checking other runner’s blogs and instagram accounts for motivation and I have to say I am so fucking excited for this morning’s run. I’m going to propose a challenge for myself. 1 mile a day, 5 days a week. I know I’m going to slip up. I know I’m going to want to quit. But I need this. Not only to be physically healthy, but mentally as well. I need this. And I’m so excited and anxious to start this journey. Fingers crossed!
Today as I started the treadmill at 8am, I had a goal of 7 miles. Around mile #3, my body was sore and I lowered my goal to 6.2 miles (so at least it was 10k)..
Around the fourth mile I was really questioning if I was gonna make it much longer, so I came to a fast walk for a minute to hydrate...
First run of the year 😥 here's to a better year in terms of both bettering my mental AND physical health. You gotta love yourself before you can start to heal. Have a great day ♡
I miss you.
I miss your role in my life. I miss your unconditional love. I miss your voice. I miss our silences. I miss your tired eyes. I miss your warm mouth. I miss your support. I miss your humor. I miss your rambling. I miss your friendship. I miss you. I have yet to meet someone I trust as wholly as I did you. You will never be replaced. But you also will never come back. And that is heartbreaking.
I need one of these in my life.
Just WHY?
When a girl comes out and says she has been raped or molested, why the FUCK do people automatically assume she's lying? Why the FUCK would ANYONE make up such a traumatic and painful experience for attention...? Like.....do you think before you speak? Why would anyone lie about shit like that? We don't WANT your pity, we don't want to be looked at as weak and as victims, we ARE victims. We feel shitty enough as it is having had it happen in the first place, and then to find the COURAGE to finally speak out about it.........just to have it crumpled and spit on by ignorant and cruel shits that tell us we are lying and we are attention whores and making ALL KINDS of comments about our appearances, either we were asking for it because we look slutty or we were asking for it because we are desperate.
Those people are fucking disgusting. Almost as disgusting as the ones committing the crime because you are trying to shut us up. Well FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU.
And of course men are raped and molested as well, but that's a whole other issue in itself. I can't personally speak for them, but I would hope ANYONE who has been through rape or molestation finds the courage and right support net around them to speak up and start to heal.
But as a woman, hearing "show me the bruises to prove it" and "girls say that all the time" it KILLS me. It's bad enough living with the memory, but if the one of that parts of healing is speaking out about the experience, people trying to shut you up is just making it feel worse and worse.
Why is it so hard to believe that this happens to REAL PEOPLE.......Rape happens. Molestation happens. Get a fucking reality check and realize that SHITTY THINGS HAPPEN AROUND YOU. And making someone feel like shit about it isn't going to make it go away. Allowing us to speak about it and let the world be aware of the reality might help. So don't EVER tell someone they're lying about having been raped.
And if you in fact are lying, fuck you. You're just as sick as the people trying to suppress the victims.
Who can fix me now....dive in when I'm down..? Save me from myself... Don't. Let. Me. Drown.
Drown - BMTH
Please be careful with me. Sometimes I just get sad and I don’t know why. I’m sorry.
(via lost-in-w0nderland13)
You made yourself a bed at the bottom of the blackest hole and convinced yourself that it's not the reason you don't see the sun anymore.
When it Rains (Paramore - Riot)
