UF! Toriel

RP blog for Underfell Toriel from Undertale Private - Selective - SFW and NSFW - Low activity . Mun and muse is +18

[andremoder-blog1]

(( Blows dust off the blog before proceeding to scream. Guess I’ll try to get back in swing here, I hope.

[miterakatsika-a]

@andremoder answered the call.

How… interesting.

Lilith was not sure how exactly this came to pass. It was as if she was looking into a mirror, though with various differences between them. Envy struck through her as she noticed… this one still had both of her horns. One was not broken, like Lilith’s was. She seemed a bit more…well put together. 

Hm. 

Not for long. 

Lilith’s arms drifted behind her back, her eyes narrowing. “I daresay that I am dreaming, but… what a nightmare it would be! Yet, I cannot think of another explanation for this. What are you doing here…? Do you not have a little home of your own to return to? Hmm… Toriel?”

[andremoder-blog1]

The Beldam, Toriel ghosted the other with an occasional glance, squinting at her duplicate's theatrics and colorful wording --- how unnecessary... --- but she would still be wary, there was no question about that.

''Oh, of course I do. But are you certain that you are not the one invading my space?'' Beldam said and wrapped her blanket tighter, cocooning herself with her cloth of comfort. Clenching her fists behind the cloth that hid her frame.

She would have reacted more severely but it did not seem to benefit her at the moment. Right now all she could and should focus on was the other. A new person in the ruins, an outsider --- an outsider who knew her name --- it was a huge thing.

 But it seemed like they had known each other forever, and never at all. Their similar dressing and looks... a signature staple of the boss monster class. It would be a wise choice to be cautious Beldam concluded, stealing on a facade of indifference.

‘‘What can I do for you?’‘

[boysnsplinters-blog]

Send me your URL and I'll tell you

My Opinion on;

Character in general: How they play them: The Mun:

Do I:

RP with them: Want to RP with them: 

What is my;

Overall Opinion:

**Note: Mun’s answer are all to be completely honest. Don’t send url if you don’t want brutal honesty

[conspirewithfire]

☞Some people just wanna watch the world burn☜

[andremoder-blog1]

‘ Kids are strong. You’d be surprised what they can deal with. ‘

Toriel’s fists clenched the more she heard of the child’s comments. Why did they talk about strength as if they knew what they were talking about? They knew nothing. They were a child. So much negativity grew within Toriel by such an innocent statement. 

‘‘You do not know what you are talking about,’‘ she said through gritted teeth.

A child under her care and Toriel would ensure they would be safe with her no matter it took.

‘’They need to be supervised. Anything can harm them. Anything could harm you, and you stand there— daring to oppose me in my judgment — when I know more than you? My year’s long experiences mean nothing? Is that what you are instigating, child?’’ Toriel’s tone grew darker the more she spoke and her eyes pierced at them, never breaking her eyes off them. 

[myshkas-deactivated20161003]

psa; i am not above completely rewriting a reply. if my reply takes our thread in a direction u dont want it to go in, or if u just can’t work with it, or if you just want a few details changed, please tell me and i will rewrite it or edit it so it works for you. i will not be hurt or offended, i will be happy ur comfortable enough w me as a partner to say something.  

[andremoder-blog1]

Make your muse’s pokemon team:

Toriel’s team:

Honorary member:

Tagged by @theimpietyscientist

Tagging: You

[andremoder-blog1]

                             They say that even the proudest spirit can be broken...                                                     with love.

                                   Priv. Sel. SFW and NSFW. Underfell Toriel - penned by Termite                                             | Home | About | Rules | Verses \ Verse bio | Mun | 

[andremoder-blog1]

(( People send in the occasional Starter meme, but few ever respond to them whenever I answer them. It’s a little disheartening at times. 

Are they too boring? Difficult to respond to? Should I change the way I write them? Feel free to ask me to change my starters for you, I am more than willing to do that and I am completely serious when I say that’s ok! I understand! ))

[vaememes]

✧    SUPERNATURAL   PROMPTS   !     (   PART   I  .   )

*  A MIXTURE OF SPN S1 - S5 PROMPTS , CHANGE ANY PRONOUNS AS NEEDED .

‘ Come on, it wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t that bad. ‘

‘ I swear, man, you gotta update your cassette tape collection. ‘

‘ Don’t be afraid of the dark? What, are you kidding me? ‘

‘ Of course you should be afraid of the dark! You know what’s out there! ‘

‘ I’m not sure you realize just how much trouble you’re in here. ‘

‘ You wanna tell me what’s goin’ on in that freaky head of yours? ‘

‘ I’m supposed to be the belligerent one, remember? ‘

‘ Kids are strong. You’d be surprised what they can deal with. ‘

‘ Look, man, I get you’re nervous, alright, but you gotta stay focused. ‘

‘ I just think, whatever’s going to happen is going to happen. ‘

‘ You can either roll over and die or you can keep fighting, no matter what. ‘

‘ Stop askin’ if I need anything, stop askin’ if I’m okay. ‘

‘ You two have never worked a show in your lives before, have you? ‘

‘ There’s no maybe. Find the bad thing, kill it. ‘

‘ You’re telling me there’s no lore on how to smoke ‘em? ‘

‘ No one in their right mind chooses this life. ‘

‘ So, we’re eating bacon cheeseburgers for breakfast, are we? ‘

‘ I don’t want you doing… anything! I want you to sit right here, and don’t move! ‘

‘ So you’re only out for yourself, huh? It’s all about number one? ‘

‘ What the hell is wrong with you?! You don’t just go around shooting people like that!  ‘

‘ Now, do you want me to help you out with that gun, or not, hm? ‘

‘ Did I just see you strike out with a prostitute? How’s that work? ‘

‘ You want to know what I did – what I really did? I had lunch. ‘

‘ So, you think the murders are what, a reenactment? That’s a little crazy. ‘

‘ Okay, how about you tell me where they are, or I kill you right now? ‘

‘ Well I’m just saying, he’s not leaving us a whole lot of options. ‘

‘ You know what, man? I’m sick and tired of your old stupid kamikaze trick. ‘

‘ I don’t know. I just, uh, I just woke up in a pine box… ‘

‘ I mean, we’re pretty much set to catch and kill anything I’ve ever heard of. ‘

‘ But what I do know is that I’m saving people. And stopping demons. ‘

‘ What’s the matter? You don’t think you deserve to be saved? ‘

‘ Human souls don’t just walk out of hell and back into their bodies easily! ‘

‘ I’m trying to come up with a theory, here. Okay? Work with me. ‘

‘ I mean, I’ve saved some people, okay? ‘

‘ It’s a spell to send the Witnesses back to rest. Should work… ‘

‘ Any chance you got everything we need here in this room? ‘

‘ That’s just not as appealing as a ghost-proof panic room, you know? ‘

‘ I thought you must have learned something. I thought I died for something. ’

‘ You know, I almost got my heart ripped out of my chest. ‘

‘ Read the Bible. Angels are warriors of God. I’m a soldier. ‘

‘ What, do you get your freak on by watching other people sleep? ‘

‘ Even if this sounds really weird, will you promise me that you will remember?  ‘

‘ And you don’t care that he’s tearing up the future looking for me right now? ‘

‘ All right, well, first things first; how did we end up on Soul Plane? ‘

‘ Yes, I’m a fan, but I really don’t appreciate being mocked. ‘

‘ Oh, yeah? You’re sorry you started Armageddon?! ‘

‘ Keep mouthing off, I’ll break more than his legs. ‘

‘ There is no other way, there must be a battle. ‘

‘ Don’t be afraid. This is your choice. You need to invite me in. ‘

‘ I just can’t keep pretending that everything’s all right. Because it’s not. ‘

‘ You chose a demon over your own brother…and look what happened. ‘

‘ I just don’t…I don’t think that we can ever be what we were.. ‘

‘ I lost everything, for nothing. So keep your opinions to yourself. ‘

‘ I’m in no shape to be hunting. I need to step back, ‘cause I’m dangerous. ‘

‘ Haven’t we been down this road before? ‘

‘ I was dead from the moment we said hello. ‘

‘ Don’t you get it? You can’t run from yourself. Why are you running now?? ‘

‘ Would you believe I’m actually trying to protect you? ‘

‘ Same song, different verse. Things are never gonna change with you. Never. ‘

‘ You were wasted by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Angel? ‘

‘ Riddle wrapped inside an enigma wrapped inside a taco? ‘

‘ We’re humans. And when humans want something, really, really bad…we lie. ‘

‘ Oh. Well, last night on earth, what, uh…what’re your plans? ‘

‘ This whole industry runs on absent fathers, it’s- it’s the natural order. ‘

‘ Do you remember the twentieth century? Think the twenty-first is going any better? ‘

‘ Aren’t you a surprise? You’ve come a long way to see this, haven’t you? ‘

‘ I’m sorry. It must be painful, speaking to me in this…shape. ‘

‘ Why? Why would I want to destroy this stunning thing? ‘

‘ Oh, good God, you’re not gonna tell me a bedtime story, are ya? ‘

‘ I know that “Supernatural” is just a book, okay? I know the difference between fantasy and reality. ‘

[andremoder-blog1]

(( If I don’t answer a starter meme, assume that I plain just didn’t know what to write. That’s  honestly the only reason things don’t get answered, I promise. ))

[andremoder-blog1]

❝ are you going to cold-shoulder me all night? ❞ //kxnggoat//

Cold yellow eyes glanced over at the other man. A man that looked eerily alike similar to her old husband, a man she had not been in contact with for a long time. Someone she never wanted to speak to ever again.

Fingers clenched in annoyance at the question. The blanket wrapped around her shoulders tightened around her as a means to protect herself from Asgore, shield herself from his glance and voice. How dare he… 

And yet… it was Toriel was the one that was childish. 

Childish. Petty. Irrational…

All and more for not speaking back, refusing to speak back to the king. Yes. She was indeed cold-shouldering him. He would pay a thousand times for a crime he did not commit, a crime that was out of his control. 

All he’d get for now was silence.

[xnjolras]

             if we were villains    ❧    sentence starters

feel free to change pronouns as needed! taken from the absolutely recommended book ‘if we were villains’ by m.l. rio.

❝ seems like just yesterday my dad was shouting at me for throwing my life away. ❞

❝ last time we went skinny-dipping i fell on the dock buck naked and spent the rest of the night facedown on the couch with ______ pulling splinters out of my ass. ❞

❝ i know what you’re capable of, and i’ll be damned if i don’t drag it out of you by the time you leave this place. ❞

❝ everyone has a weakness. even you. the strongest thing you can do is admit it. ❞

❝ get drunk, get loud, get lucky. ❞

❝ okay. let’s kill them. ❞

❝ i’m not playing. don’t fucking do that again. ❞

❝ i’m bleeding. you son of a bitch. ❞

❝ you’re lovely, but you’re not worth it. ❞

❝ be careful, ______. you’re much too trusting. ❞

❝ you’ve got puke on your face. ❞

❝ we need to decide what to tell the police about what happened. ❞

❝ you of all people should understand…we don’t owe him anything. ❞

❝ i’m going to bed unless you’ve got something to say. ❞

❝ i’ve had enough sexual misadventures for one year, thanks. ❞

❝ if it makes you feel any better, i’d have done exactly the same thing. ❞

❝ c’mon. it’s fucking freezing and i’m not leaving you out here alone. ❞

❝ when did we become such terrible people? ❞

❝ i’ll be the first one to admit i don’t know what we’re doing here. but i want to figure it out. ❞

❝ are you going to cold-shoulder me all night? ❞

❝ what’s gotten into you? you don’t sound like yourself. ❞

❝ i guess my other option is an existential crisis. ❞

❝ you can’t quantify humanity. you can’t measure it. people are passionate and flawed and infallible. ❞

❝ you know, ______, i like you. mostly in spite of myself. ❞

❝ i want so badly to be mad at you that i could do that, but i CAN’T, so i’m mad at myself instead. do you even understand how unfair that is? ❞

❝ fuck! fuck this, fuck me, fuck YOU. ❞

❝ don’t do that, please –––– right now can we just be ourselves? ❞

❝ i don’t know what’s wrong with me. i want to hurt the whole world. ❞

❝ ever heard of hate sex? ❞

❝ don’t follow me. ❞

❝ no! don’t come too close. keep your distance. tell me what happened. ❞

❝ why don’t you fight back? why won’t you get your hands dirty? ❞

❝ i’d have killed him myself if i thought it would keep the rest of you safe. ❞

❝ will you marry him? it’s been long enough. ❞

❝ the future is wide and wild and full of promise, but it is precarious, too. ❞

❝ you know, the bare-chested, covered-in-blood look, it’s working for you. ❞

❝ would you change the ending, if you could? ❞

❝ we’ll never forget it. that’s the worst part. ❞

[vaememes]

✧   PRETTY  LITTLE  LIARS  PROMPTS     (  PART  I.   ) 

possible   triggers  ahead ,   please  read / reblog   with   caution.

SEASON    ONE :

❛ Friends share secrets. That’s what keeps us close. ❜ ❛ What do you mean, she’s gone? ❜ ❛ I’ve looked everywhere for her. I think I heard her scream. ❜ ❛ Did you see the paper today? ❜ ❛ She’s gone, but she’s everywhere. ❜ ❛ I said I was thinking about majoring in English, and that’s true. ❜ ❛ When I first met you, I thought, “Who is this girl?” ❜ ❛ I’m your teacher…It’s not right. We just can’t. ❜ ❛ Well, you know what they say about hope. Breeds eternal misery. ❜ ❛ It is when you’re giving false statements to the police. It’s called obstruction of justice. ❜ ❛ You know, I didn’t grow up in a family like yours. ❜ ❛ I don’t know that kind of pressure, but I can imagine it could be unbearable at times. ❜ ❛ I mean, that drive had to come from somewhere. ❜ ❛ God, it was one pair of sunglasses, and they were last season’s! ❜ ❛ What are you doing here? Did you forget what we talked about? ❜ ❛ Listen, sweetie, I’m not in high school. You don’t have any say in this. ❜ ❛ What didn’t you understand? You need to leave now. ❜ ❛ I saw you riding around town the other day…on your bike. ❜ ❛ I saw you too. I waved, remember? ❜ ❛ I was embarrassed that my friends thought you had nice legs. ❜ ❛ Do you have something to add to the discussion, aside from phlegm? ❜ ❛ I’ve been drinking scotch. I’d rather not mix my beverages. ❜ ❛ Ew. That’s not even a cute girl name. I’m seeing big pores and mousy roots. ❜ ❛ Do you want to ask what your lab partner was doing last night? ❜ ❛ It - it’s not what you think it is. Don’t give me that look. ❜ ❛ How many of your friends did you tell? ❜ ❛ So, is it true you’re taking the country club’s towel boy to Homecoming? ❜ ❛ If you and I start slipping up, we’re going to be right back at the bottom again. ❜ ❛ Well, I’m starting to think I’ve lost a few things on the climb up. ❜ ❛ I’m giving you space - to come to grips with who you are, not to hide it. ❜ ❛ I have already gotten busted for stealing sunglasses and my boyfriend’s car. ❜ ❛ I didn’t mean to, like, you know, invade your personal…skin. ❜ ❛ I cannot believe you just said “cooties.” You’re such a goober. ❜ ❛ You’re already scary enough to anyone under fifty. ❜ ❛ Can we just drop it, please? I’m not looking for anything more than a friend. ❜ ❛ Besides, don’t you want someone real, someone you can, I don’t know, scratch and sniff? ❜ ❛ I can’t. God, I miss food. Eat some butter for me, will you? ❜ ❛ I need to ask you guys something, and I need you to be totally honest with me… ❜ ❛ I feel like the poster child for poor judgement. ❜ ❛ Are you gonna torture me because I gave somebody else a ring? ❜ ❛ The bolder the move, the less anyone questions it. ❜ ❛ Hey, don’t look at me, I’m just here to make her look taller. ❜ ❛ It wasn’t a complete bust… Plus, it was kinda fun to kick your ass in Scrabble. ❜ ❛ I don’t like what knowing what I’m capable of. ❜

SEASON   TWO :

❛ I should have told you in person, I just… I had never said the things that I was feeling. ❜ ❛ I didn’t feel that I could say those things without making a complete ass of myself.  ❜ ❛ I have felt alone, even when I was with people… that was until I met you. ❜ ❛ Don’t you read the newspaper or watch the news?  ❜ ❛ If lying was a crime, we’d all be in jail. ❜ ❛ Sometimes when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. ❜ ❛ Why are you talking like Ben Franklin? ❜ ❛ So what? I can’t dance on his grave? Can I at least throw confetti? ❜ ❛ I just – I wanna grab it, and I wanna yank it really, really hard. ❜ ❛ You don’t paper over windows unless you’re a vampire. ❜ ❛ I just wanted to drink it. Not swim laps. ❜ ❛ You’re already wearing more pain cream than clothes. ❜ ❛ Can we get out of here? My goosebumps are getting goosebumps. ❜ ❛ No girlfriends allowed in the bedroom. Just girl… friends. ❜ ❛ Can you imagine what she’d do to us with all five?  ❜ ❛ You’ve barely eaten since we left the hospital. ❜ ❛ I like watching them. I don’t wanna be in one. ❜ ❛ You are not starved! You just had a whole bowl of jellybeans. ❜ ❛ The truth is, I do care about your brother but…I also care about you. ❜ ❛ I think we should tell your parents first because they should hear it from us. ❜ ❛ Do you need to take another shower? ❜ ❛ I was telling you in the off chance you might feel the same way. ❜ ❛ I’m gonna pick out my college, the same way I pick out my clothes. From a catalog. ❜ ❛ Says the girl who woke up at 4 a.m. for the Royal Wedding. ❜ ❛ You’re giving her a book of horse pictures? ❜ ❛ As soon as I get more than shrimp in my stomach, you’re gonna be in a world of pain. ❜ ❛ Could you please move your stick? There are people trying to get past you. ❜ ❛ I am now officially done eating. Forever. ❜ ❛ Ask me what’s right if you want a shorter answer. ❜ ❛ Two can only keep a secret if one of them is dead. ❜ ❛ That’s a very pretty dress. But you should know, it gives you back fat. ❜ ❛ I found a way to survive my secrets, but everyone I care about gets hurt. ❜ ❛ Were you wishing you could taste her Cherry Chapstick? ❜ ❛ Is that what the doctors told your mom dad at the hospital? ❜ ❛ Angry doesn’t begin to describe how I feel about you right now. ❜ ❛ You’re like smart-smart. I always thought you were just book-smart. ❜ ❛ God! Why isn’t anyone allowed to have a damn secret? ❜ ❛ I may have broken my left arm, but my right arm is fine. ❜ ❛ Life isn’t always romantic. Sometimes, it’s realistic. ❜ ❛ Frankly, I’d like to take that cane and whack her like a pinata. ❜ ❛ If your relationship is so much trouble, why not just let it go? ❜ ❛ Oh really, like what? Did someone spread their butter with a steak knife? ❜ ❛ Second guessing her every move is starting to feel a little extreme. ❜ ❛ I am thinking! This is me thinking! And molting! ❜ ❛ Honey, you can’t be a shark if you’re toothless. ❜ ❛ Congratulations hon, you’re back on the team! If I had a pom pom, i’d shake it. ❜

SEASON   THREE :

❛ That “Girl Interrupted” thing could just be an act to keep her out of jail. ❜ ❛ Okay I know it was my idea to wait, but right now I’m just completely forgetting why. ❜ ❛ It’s no coincidence that he turned dark after the masquerade ball. ❜ ❛ I wanna know what I did to make you hate me so much!!!!! ❜ ❛ If I never see another shovel again it’ll be too soon.  ❜ ❛ I changed my mind, it turns out they want you to work for free. ❜ ❛ It wasn’t enough to steal her bones, now we’re gonna get pieces of her delivered to us? ❜ ❛ I’m ready to hang a sign, bitch can see! ❜ ❛ Somebody you know well has you completely fooled. People lie, but medical records don’t. ❜ ❛ We thought you being in here was the end of it, but it’s not. ❜ ❛ I am way more angry than I am scared now. ❜ ❛ You’re not paranoid if someone’s really out to get you. ❜ ❛ The last word a guy wants a girl to describe him with is sweet. ❜ ❛ You’re open to date but you’re not open for business. ❜ ❛ I feel like I only exist in half of your life, and that’s not good enough for me. ❜ ❛ You know what they say: if the feather fits. ❜ ❛ Why are you looking at pictures of bald fat men? ❜ ❛ I don’t know I just thought that she could try online dating. ❜ ❛ I’m not drunk. I’m hungry and your cupcakes taste like old pennies. ❜ ❛ That bra over there kinda put me off my feed. ❜ ❛ How can you miss her? She’s been gliding around school all day like a Thanksgiving float. ❜ ❛ I’m going to listen to every sad song I’ve ever downloaded on repeat. ❜ ❛ I keep peeling, I just always seem to find new layers. ❜ ❛ Did he just have all that money lying around his house? ❜ ❛ I almost tripped over a catheter back there that was still attached to someone. ❜ ❛ It’s not like we a shot a unicorn; we’re helping your friend out. ❜ ❛ Wait, why am I asking you? You wear forks as earrings. ❜ ❛ You gave tweezers to a mental patient? ❜ ❛ What should I wear? I have to look insanely sophisticated for this. ❜ ❛ Guess I don’t know her as well as thought I did. ❜ ❛ I think you’re confusing which Scooby Doo character would have gotten into an Ivy League. ❜ ❛ Why are you not all “go-go gadget” about this? This is big! ❜ ❛ Are we still fighting without actually fighting? ❜ ❛ I looked fat and hideous, and I had to stand next to a cardboard goat.. ❜ ❛ I really feel like I’m about to rattle the cage of a sleeping giant. ❜ ❛ Uh, drugging yourself is the best alibi ever. Classic Sharon Stone movie. ❜ ❛ You kiss pretty good for a man without his spleen. ❜ ❛ Playing dress up for your man on Halloween is one thing. ❜ ❛ You do it any other night, you end up on an afternoon talk show. ❜ ❛ You make it so hard to be a modern post-feminist when you get so alpha male. ❜ ❛ You are in this class to discuss American history, not mine, got it? ❜ ❛ I could rub your shoulders between rounds and wrap your knuckles and hold your spit bucket. ❜ ❛ I have enough daddy-issues of my own. I can’t deal with having issues about hers too. ❜ ❛ That bitch can keep a secret. I respect that. ❜ ❛ B is for bad. ❜

[andremoder-blog1]

“I figured you must be b̧̌ĺ̙a̛̳c͊k̂m͕̄a̍ͅi̖͝l͕͆ḭ̾n͊͜g̛̱ that poor girl to have lunch with you.”

Toriel thrummed her fingers at her arm. Blackmail? What kind of sad creature did he pit her for to need such sad tactics to get a simple lunch with someone? Toriel herself didn’t view it as such. Just gentle persuasion. 

‘‘Really, and who gave you the right to come at me with such rude a remark? I certainly did not want your opinion on the matter.’’ Toriel huffed.She didn’t have to justify herself to him. Even if the truth was what it was.‘‘

[andremoder-blog1]

“I waited and waited because I really wanted to see you.”

‘’You… you dare to come back-’’ Toriel’s hands were clenched tightly in a small attempt to withhold the boiling fury that built up in her. This child… this child had some nerve to come back with such a claim after what they did‘’-to come back after what you did to me? After everything I did for you?’’

Toriel let out a little breathy chuckle, covering her face with a hand messing up her fur a little as she attempted to assess this situation. She should close the door on them right this instant. Her other hand was clutching the gate, specks of rocks and paint fell lightly down to the ground as her claws pressed at the stone.

‘‘You fled’’ the tall woman said darkly, gritting her teeth. And they were now crawling back to like a pitiable creature —Even going so far as to pretend as if nothing ever happened. Imagining that they could get Toriel’s forgiveness so easily. 

‘‘Are you here to mock me, or have you decided to come back home at last?’‘

[rpstarterss]

Animal Crossing Starters:

[goldcnflowertea]

rpstarterss:

“I figured you must be blackmailing that poor girl to have lunch with you.”

“I think it’s fair to say that I’m pretty sexy.”

“I don’t want to live in a world where I have to eat sugar free sugar cookies.”

“I remembered today was your birthday so I thought I’d say hi.”

“You have nothing to lose except your lonely loser status.”

“Shut it, you faker!”

“I sure am tired from all that relaxing I did today.”

“Then I can spend my entire allowance on comic books and video games and no one can stop me.”

“When you listen to pop music, you often hear them saying ‘shawty.’”

“[NAME] made fun of me because I say ‘poot’ all the time.”

“I waited and waited because I really wanted to see you.”

“Tell papa/mama what’s up.”

“It hurts my face just looking at you.”

“Marry me.”

“I look forward to seeing what you’re gonna do with my butt.”

“A trash bin..? Is this a clue to your true identity?”

“I’m beautiful, but I’m also deadly.”

“I hope you go to jail.”

“What did you do to my body?”

“Stick to chocolate and comic books. You’re too young for love anyway.”

“I’m sorry.. please don’t be too mad at me.”

“I have a big favor to ask you.”

“Maybe I’ll just go home and lock myself in a closet.”

“I gotta admit, I really love that one show where all those people do the stuff and then something happens.”

“Here, touch my skin. It’s totally slimy right now.”

“I probably look in the mirror 24 times a day just to be sure I’m still so darned handsome/beautiful.”

“Guess what I’ve got in my pockets right now.”

“Better not catch you making goo-goo eyes at my wife/husband.”

“No one understands me. I’m hungry all the time and no one cares.”

“Are you suggesting my style is outdated?”

“Don’t play with stink bugs, especially when you’ve got a date coming up.”

“They don’t even care who wins. They just all flex their pecs.”

“Love means accepting that there will be times when you don’t get the last scallop.”

“Yeah exercise is totally hard and stuff. I think I’m gonna go take a nap and read a book or whatever.”

“Today was the day my best friend in the whole wide world was born.”

“Whoa you look so weird. And not weird in a hip way. More like 'weird’ as in 'makes me want to barf.’”

“End my suffering.”

“Not to sound corny but I really like you.”

“I wonder how I can say 'swaggy ’ in the most grown up way possible.”

“Just because two people are good friends doesn’t mean they’d make a good couple.”

“Sorry, I was staring at your face because I don’t know you. Not because there’s something wrong with your face.”

“Would it surprise you if I said I’m pretty proud of my legs?”

“The truth is never free.. but sometimes it’s on sale.”

“I hear the sound of rap coming from somewhere.”

“They tell you to sleep on a problem. But what if your problem is insomnia?”

“I’ll just observe your friends from the shadows.”

“I heard allergies are caused by the government.”

“Watch out, 'cause I’ll compliment you until you puke.”

“So D.I.Y. stands for 'do it yourself’? Well, if these guys think I’m going to do my own manual labor, they’ve got another acronym coming.”

“I can smell your confidence. Smells like soup.”

“I’m gay.”

“You’re my hero.”

“Please don’t call on me.”

“I think I dropped my house key somewhere. That was my favorite key… it opened my house.”

“Do you want to hear the brutal truth? That outfit is a hot mess.”

“Oh, I get it! You’re playing it cool. Trying your best not to cry.”