light in the loafers

95% reblogging. 5% wordless screaming. 100% self-indulgent posts about fandom, food, and feelings.

[manderley]

HUD (1963) dir. Martin Ritt

[tsarina-anadyomene]

There's really this strong temptation that everyone has which basically says "to have interiority is to be like me; ordinary people are surface everywhere." And this manifests in different ways in different spaces, and becomes really pronounced when you cluster together with similar people. So tumblr users often act like straight people don't have any interiority because it helps you feel the deepening of social bonds with other gay people. This happens professionally too. I think it was Summer or Sharks who was saying that programming people think that intelligence is just being really good at writing code. Not surprising but very strange to me! I am (equally ridiculously) used to thinking that intelligence is being really good at philosophy, having command of a lot of sources that you can use creatively, etc. This reflects a kind of dynamic on tumblr and reddit. On reddit to have interiority is to be a science guy and on tumblr to have interiority is to be a humanities girl (and the dynamic is gendered in exactly this way). And I think there is something dangerous about habitually regarding other people as automatons. It's good to have people outside of your niche to remind you that other people from different walks of life are quite deep and complicated. They are full of love and fine grained attention to things you never thought to care about. And I think a lot of people go through life thinking of themselves as perpetually victimized by basically empty people rather than having genuine confrontations with full, genuine people who are committed to subtle, complex and real values, who have detailed and intricate histories, and who have a bond to you that you might never quite fully understand. But we rarely even try at understanding these things. We just decide that they're stupid and ridiculous and unreasonable.

[junglejim4322]

Some of the edgiest queers in the world who constantly talk about romanticizing cannibalism and gore is punk or whatever will turn into the literal pope when confronted with anything realistic having to do with sex like im sorry but people fuck in the park at night sometimes always have and always will and you’re going to have to go about your life without advocating for them to be skinned alive in Alcatraz

[junglejim4322]

I will never forgive the fact that this post is what made me learn the term “reichblr” and the fact that even exists because someone who writes nazi fanfic replied being scandalized by the idea of public sex

[teaboot]

I’m not Christian, I don’t go to church anymore, and my pastor died, but when he was alive I’d sometimes go to his sermons and I remember one time he said “it feels good to hate, but we know that it isn’t allowed, so when we’re told that we’re allowed to hate someone we get so excited that we forget we’re supposed to love”, and if my humble atheist ass might borrow some church talk I’d like to perhaps submit that

[teaboot]

Anyhow sometimes on the day to day I feel disgust or revulsion and I have to ask myself “is this a danger to anyone at all or am I just looking for something I’m allowed to hate” and a solid 98/100 times it’s the latter so once again thank you pastor D

[middlepeep]

Glam 💄

[valscrapbook]

[ilex-opacus]

Not by any means an original thought but Kirk abandoning every person he's ever faintly loved or had feelings for for his career and his mission then repeatedly being like "it doesn't matter just fire me strip me of my command if I lose Spock I'll lose literally everything including my soul don't even worry about it" is immensely important to me

[luckydicekirby]

sometimes a fic can just be about the age old question 'how emotionally bad for everyone involved can a threesome be when they all did in fact agree to be there'

[olderthannetfic]

My least favourite genre of anti-kink post is the one that's like "I'm not saying kinky people are immoral, I'm not saying you can't be kinky, I'm just saying you need to interrogate why you're kinky, is all. What, we can't even critique kink at all?"

It's always under the pretense of "I'm not here to tell you what to do," but the implication is always "if you did interrogate why you're kinky, you'd realise it's for misogyny/internalised misogyny reasons and you'd stop." If you told them "actually, I did interrogate why I'm kinky, and I've concluded that it's not for misogyny reasons and I'm not contributing to patriarchy by being kinky," they wouldn't be satisfied with that answer.

I'd seriously rather them just say "all kink is irredeemably misogynistic and there is no way to be kinky without contributing to patriarchy." At least it's honest about their actual beliefs.

What particularly annoys me is the idea that "kink critical" people have anything to say about kink that hasn't already been said by kinky people. Almost no one is claiming kink can never be a reflection of misogyny, racism, or any other -ism. Almost no one is claiming kink can never be a tool of abusers. I guarantee whatever critique of kink "kink critical" people have has already been well-discussed by the kink community lol. I guarantee almost every kinky person on the planet has agonised about why they're kinky. And in most circumstances, it is in fact the deeply ashamed, deeply repressed kinksters that are most likely to hurt others, not the self-accepting kinksters.

--

It's always the same, whether it's problematic ships or fujoshi existing or sex that's none of the speaker's business.

[lovelyangryheart]

Butler University 1956 yearbook

[urgetocreate]

Alice Dalton Brown (American b.1939), Summer Breeze, 1995, Oil on linen, 50 in. x 70.25 in

[harpyart]

"Bothering me" 2023

[beaft]

common advice for social anxiety is to tell yourself "people aren't going to think less of you just because you said something a bit daft" but the thing is. sometimes they will. and you just have to learn to be cool with that and to treat it as a dnd random encounter rather than letting it ruin your whole day

[beaft]

recent example. lady at my careers appointment had a post-it with her name on it stuck to the monitor, so i introduced myself by saying cheerfully "hello, i'm eliot! you must be [name], it's nice to meet you!" and she stared at me as if i was the stupidest person alive and said icily, "yeah, i'm [name]. congratulations, you can read."

in bygone times this would have reduced me to a sort of quivering blancmange. thankfully i am now in a place where i was able to pull back, evaluate this interaction, and say to myself "this woman should probably not be working in a customer-facing job"

[cenneidi]

do it grieving

[cenneidi]

do it while the ground falls out from under you; do it while everything you loved goes up in smoke; do it while the dream of your future is still burning embers around you; build anew on the hot ashes of everything you worked for; keep going, keep loving, keep living, even as all you want is to turn back (there is no turning back; it is gone already); do it through grief, which feels like fear in the body

do it grieving

[cenneidi]

The tag I have seen most often on this post is "I needed to hear this," and I am so, so grateful to have said something that was needed. These words came out of the depths of my own grief, and I am so grateful to have made this small connection with others in the midst of it. Grief is isolating and indescribable, but none of us are alone.

That said, these tags were what I needed to hear:

we're all gonna make it

it's okay if you can't see how yet. you don't have to believe in better. for now it is enough to just keep going, and eventually the path will emerge. you are not alone. you are not lost in the woods forever. keep going. I love you.

[umbrellamoss]

[ID: tags reading "#i did and it worked #i made it out #i thought i lost everything but i kept going and made new connections and a new life for myself #and you will too". End ID]

[molabuddy]

really specific trope i like that i feel like can only be explained in a diagram

[random-brushstrokes]

Kaj Piehl (Swedish, 1921–2000) - City at Night

[release-the-sheep]

just witnessed something devastating

guy on the subway with one ear pierced, little gold hoop. other guy on the subway very quickly and subtly googling "which one is the gay ear". it is not the gay ear. visible disappointment on his face as he puts his phone away.