Batfamily Content.

I say my type is Jason Todd but history has proven it's actually Stephanie Brown. Unfortunately I'm on Ao3 @ladyluckdemonqueen.

[prokopetz]

Social anxiety is a hell of a drug in general, but getting scared that the staff at your favourite restaurant or coffee shop will realise you're an autistic weirdo who eats exactly the same thing every day is especially wrong-headed. Food service people love autistic weirdos who eat exactly the same thing every day. Do you realise how valuable a reliable repeat customer whose order you cannot possibly fuck up is in that line of work?

[anna-no-emma]

The coffee lady sees me coming and will make my little black coffee in the middle of making someone else's order. She knows it will take her a minute to make, I'll tap my card and be gone before anyone even realises their order was interrupted. Like she does it so quickly and seamlessly that she doesn't even tap my order into the system (she hopefully does it later when it's quiet. so the money stays balanced and she doesn't get into trouble).

[anna-no-emma]

"My wife shouldn't have to work because women are meant to have daylight hours. They should be able to live their lives while it's light out, not have to leave the house in the dark and come back in the dark.'

Awesome, lovely, very sweet. But so do you, my dude. You deserve daylight hours too. Let's fix this together and get married while Jeff Bazos house(es) burn in the background.

[noodles-and-tea]

You think they ever run into each other

[anna-no-emma]

So the colouring, as well and the fridge glow against Tim's shirt, heavily implies this is at night. Which means Bruce is reading a newspaper in the dark.

[homunculus-argument]

Uncomfortable facts of life:

Nobody's going to magically swoop in to rescue you. You can't just sit there and expect someone else to come save you. You have to get your shit together and do it yourself.

About 90% of the time, the "it" you have to do on your own is pushing yourself to walk up to someone else and use your words to say "hey I need help."

[anna-no-emma]

Bad news: Nobody is going to save you, not in the magical way you want

Good news: but the people who love you can help you save yourself, you just have to ask them to.

(And don't tell me nobody loves you. You can't possibly be telling me that there isn't a single relative, friend, co-worker, or old lady you smile at on the bus everyday who would be willing to at least do something small to help you? Bullshit. Love is fucking everywhere, you just have to learn how to feel it)

[shadeslayer]

its so fucked that not only did they erase our languages and beat and kill our people for using them but they stole the words of important tribes and important people and used them for the military and for trees and for food and for summer camps. average native american name is seen by non ntvs as a joke or something to use or consume, not a human being

[shadeslayer]

i like that ppl r thinking abt town names and things thats very good to be aware of but just to be clear this is actually specifically about other things actually, the things everyone but those looking up their nation forget about

sequoyah was the man who created the tsalagi syllabary before it was ever a tree

if i try to look for apparel or crafts to show off my chickasaw pride, i get results for chickasaw plums which is just a specific species of plum before i get results about human beings

others have mentioned if they google their nations name they get boot companies before their nations website!

theres a tweet that still haunts me that was about a Quirky Quasi American Restaurant in europe or somewhere that was being funny by being cowboy themed and their steaks were named after native american nations. even outside the usa we are nothing but literal dead meat for others consumption

"blackhawk" "apache" - fuck theres a whole wikipedia page for the way weve had our names used for weapons used to colonize and kill us and others!

yes talk about town and location names but you need to look farther than that. it gets so much worse, i promise

[anna-no-emma]

You said quirky quasi american restuarant in europe and I was like oh dear because immediately thought of Spur in my country (not Europe). Allow me to show you some pictures (to contextualize it , it's a sit down chain steakhouse restaurant that offers prices just slightly higher than McDonalds):

[anna-no-emma]

Shows on Disney I liked best (or that at least have stayed with me into adult hood):

Kim Possible

Lilo & Stitch

American Dragon; Jake Long

The legend of Tarzan

The Suite Life of Zack and Cody (I didn't like On Deck nearly as much as the OG)

And Cartoon Network

Ben 10

Generator Rex

The power puff girls

My Life as a Teenage Robot

Teen Titans (the 2003-2006 run mind you).

Dexters Laboratory

Scooby Doo where are you?

What's New Scooby Doo

A pup named Scooby doo (just assume I devoured all Scooby Doo adjacent content with a desert spoon as a kid. I was quite taken by Daphne and well...anyway).

Honorable mention to Balto (animated movie about the wolf-dog that leads a sled team to get medicine after his person got sick. I believe there were sequels? Anyway I was obsessed). And Tweenies, it was like a Barnie style show with puppets/costume and when I watched it we had it on VCR and I was like 3?

[anna-no-emma]

suddenly vividly remembered the time i worked in a dvd rental store and a cute, heavily tattooed guy would come in to rent sons of anarchy like every other weekend so I decided to watch sons of anarchy to so i could try and talk to him. i got two minutes into the first episode before i decided he wasn't that cute and watched something else.

[larkandkatydid]

There is genuinely no such thing as an inappropriate book for a child.

[larkandkatydid]

People in the tags who read Clan of the Cave Bear or Flowers in the Attic, but did you fucking die? You are fine like every other kid exposed to Jondalar’s turgid, upright member was fine. These are clearly ideal books for nine year olds because so many very alive and unharmed former nine year olds read the shit out of them and many adults find them boring.

Would you really be such a John Hughes adult kind of hypocrite as to rip the inspiring tale of Ayla, who invented aspirin, knitting and cunnilingus during the last ice age out of an elementary schooler’s hand?

[larkandkatydid]

If you don’t want kids to read a book, don’t allow it to portray a child’s actual, relateable anxieties around puberty, sex, adulthood and their parents in the most high gothic way possible. This is like preventing incest by locking your adolescent grandchildren in a small room with no access to non-family members.

[tzikeh]

-- Mitch Hedberg

[roach-pizza]

I think we need to start being more nuanced with this take because yeah kids could probably read anything at 16-17 years old, but it's if they should.

Like not in a "I don't want my kids to read XYZ book" but in a "Are they actually capable of understanding and processing the material in the book properly."

Teenagers are not mentally adults. They will not be able to comprehend certain things because those are things that come with age, and life experience.

If you are willing to help guide a teenager through adult materials up to and including when to recognize when you should stop reading a book, then feel free to show whatever feel is going to help the child.

If you aren't willing to do this and just chuck a bunch of books at a teenager, then you're just setting them up for failure.

And if anyone has problems I'm an adult fiction writer who's a mom. My books read at 6th-8th grade reading level, because I write in casual, easy to digest language, much like how this post is written.

[larkandkatydid]

No. Did I fucking stutter? This is not a nuanced issue and especially in this dangerous political context, people who care about children should absolutely not yield to the opinions of shitty parents such as yourself.

I wasn’t even talking about teens! I was talking about elementary age kids reading sexual content not adolescents encountering new or difficult concepts! Jesus Christ! I think it’s genuinely worse than the moms for liberty style censorship to censor materials simple because an adult has made the call about what they might find easy enough to understand! How is a teenager supposed to gain wisdom and experiences if a bunch adult busy-bodies prevent them from exercising their own judgement about what they want to learn? At what point is someone who’s old enough to drive, have sex and be sentenced to life in prison also allowed to pick their own reading material? How is a person going to be able to understand or absorb ideas if they never get challenging practice?

I am an extremist on this because this is an issue of children’s basic human rights. It’s what American Library Association President Emily Drabinski calls a child’s “right to a private reading life” and“right to their own imagination and the sovereignty of their own minds.” Even your children have that right, despite having been born to a small-minded little tyrant who treats exposure to new ideas like a traumatic event. Yes, just throw books at teenagers! Let them be aware of a world outside their intellectually suffocating home life!

[larkandkatydid]

This post is circulating again and putting so many terrible takes in front of me that I must celebrate the funny tags expressing relateable experiences like understanding Stephen King better when you understand cocaine better.

[thessalian]

If you take issue with kids reading basically whatever, you are speaking to your own parenting skills or lack thereof.

I was reading Stephen King when I was a kid. And I mean kid-kid, not teen. I read Auel and Andrews and all the rest. But my mother was reading Shakespeare with me (we voice acted it) when I was eight or so. She was watching MASH with me. She gave me Watership Down as an audiobook when I was maybe five. My mother was preparing me for the concepts that I was likely to encounter in later life, and most of all, establishing herself as a safe person to ask questions about big icky stuff.

Put it this way - if you forbid your kids from reading about sex and drugs, they won't talk to you when they're inevitably doing those things and needing help. If you let them know early that you're there if your kid has questions about what they read, they'll come to you with the real life questions too. Your choice.

[anna-no-emma]

here's the thing i remember about being a kid who was both allowed to and did read everything and anything; you might come across the word penis at the age of 10 but if, like me, you'd never seen a penis before then, in your head, it just stayed an indefinite blob between a mans legs. Same with active sex, like you understand they're on top of each other and someone's in someone else but this is all still just a little blurry in your head. There isn't the visceral shock of seeing it in HD in a screen. Your brain imagines what you already have reference points for, so reading is chilled. Where watching is a different ballpark (not better or worse, just different).

[jasontodddidnothingwrong]

Batkids early adoption au except it all happens in the same night (also Bruce Wayne is an idiot)

Picture this:

Bruce goes to the circus. A tragedy occurs. He starts walking back to his car with a freshly orphaned Dick Grayson clinging to his neck. He gets there only to find...

The tires are gone. All but one, which is in the process of being removed by a scrawny street kid named Jason Todd. The boy runs.

Bruce panics. He obviously can't let this poor, obviously homeless kid run off to get crimed in Crime Alley. Bruce does the only thing he can think of: he throws Dick like a pokeball. It works, sort of. Dick catches the kid, the kid catches a concussion.

Bruce panics harder.

He bundles the kids into the back of his car and hops in the drivers seat. "Hospital," he says to himself, "I can do this. I'm Batman."

"What?" Dick says.

"What?" Jason says.

"What?" Bruce says.

THUMP. They're interrupted by the sound of someone landing bodily on the roof.

Bruce stumbles out of the car to find Tim Drake doing the family guy death pose on top of his $400,000 Mercedes. Above them, a broken fire escape squeaks a threat of more violence. Bruce is distracted by it for only a second, but when he looks back down, Tim is already upright and setting off a camera in his face.

"Hi, Batman!" Tim grins. "I knew it was you."

Bruce blinks away the stars with a sigh and opens the back door again. Tim scrambles off the roof and wanders in.

Bruce now has three childr- wait when did that one get here? Cassandra Cain is wedged into the middle seat between Dick and Jason. She smiles at him sweetly.

"Who-" Bruce begins.

Someone wings a brick at them out of nowhere. Tim narrowly avoids further head trauma only because Bruce's dad reflexes activate in time to bat (ha!) it away. Bruce turns to see a little blonde girl sprinting off. He moves to catch her, but steps on Jason's discarded tire iron; it flips up and nails him in the balls. Stephanie Brown gets away.

Bruce realises, while he's writhing pitifully on the ground, that the car still has no tires.

He calls Alfred for help.

---

Four hours, a hospital visit, a whole lot of paperwork and one long phone call to CPS later, Bruce arrives home with four emergency foster kids in tow.

Talia Al Ghul is sitting in his living room with a baby carrier.

[anna-no-emma]

If you had a no capes AU planned with a plot arc so dense that you couldn't waste words on Bruce meeting the Robins at plausible intervals...well this would be the way to do it.

And Stephanie Brown absolutely does get away. She however, unfortunately, ends up going to the same school as the Robins (Bruce feels bad that all the other kids he encountered that night get to go to Gotham Academy so he pulls some strings and Stephanie gets offered a scholarship), and she ends up getting intertwined in the narrative but she stays firmly in deeply-loved-bestie territory and never comes even close to the sister roller coaster.

[anna-no-emma]

Bruce bruce bruce why the fuck are all your children walking tragedies? What did you do to them to make your thing of parents-murdered-in-front-of-me-when-i-was-eight seem mundane next to their I-will-hold-hope-even-as-it-cuts-me-open vibe? What did you do to them? Tim won't ever be allowed to grow up, Jason can never really go home, all Damian wants is to be is to be your fucking kid, and Dick...oh jesus Dick...god, the amount of people he's loved and lost can you imagine the ever growing grief he lugs around and all he wants is to be truly good and kind and competent without being you. Bruce, what did you do to them?

[possumtion]

Fuck it *washes your robins

Hanging them out to dry…

[dumbpuppyfag]

you'll be hanging out with the sweetest person ever and they'll randomly tell you a childhood experience that would have vaporised you and you're like oh we should find your parents and murder them irl

[anna-no-emma]

finally watched the superman movie and like my girl Eve...Krypto needs to go give Jimmy absolute hell, like may this man know no peace, while Kara and Eve go party together.

[monochrome-genesis]

My tepid Jason Todd take is that he should be the tactician in his team ups more often than not. One of the things that really stuck out to me in his Robin run/early post resurrection era is that he knows when he needs stack the deck in his favor and does a very good job at it. Less "Jason Todd runs into danger and needs to be saved bc he's Reckless™" and more "everyone assumes he runs in without thinking but in reality he already figured out what schemed he needs to get out of this relatively unscathed"

[anna-no-emma]

I think about this so much. Jason's a man with a plan, multiple plans actually. Occasionally it looks like he's being reckless but it's just because he's working with a last minute plan (but he still has a plan). It's Tim that's the reckless one. Like Tim has an overall plan and can think twenty steps ahead of everyone else but if Tim's plan fails he just goes fuck-it-we-ball and does something insane.

[anna-no-emma]

I have such a soft spot for dudes who look just a little fruity but are dead straight the same way i have such a soft spot for dudes who look like absolute pussy chasers but love a good dicking down.

[casscainmainly]

The THING about Cass being a cautionary tale and a wound is that it is indeed baked into her very existence. This is what Kelley Puckett said about writing Batgirl (2000):

The character Puckett identified with wasn't Cass, it was David. He was "channeling anxieties about being a horrible father and screwing up [his] own daughter". Cass is undoubtedly a hero and a deeply good person and capable of so much joy and light. But she is still a tragedy.

[anna-no-emma]

Damian has daddy issues in the way boys do (how do i make you proud how do i be you) and Jason has daddy issues in the way girls do (i love you i hate you why did you let me down why couldn't i just be your baby).