400% of mental illness is thinking this is probably just how hard life is for everyone and you just can’t handle it because you’re a whiny baby who isn’t trying hard enough.
i feel called out
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@anxietyeveryday
400% of mental illness is thinking this is probably just how hard life is for everyone and you just can’t handle it because you’re a whiny baby who isn’t trying hard enough.
i feel called out
I laughed way too hard at this
me after trying this tip
Coming Out Again (Panic #116)
TL;DR: After lots of thinking, I’m identifying as Genderfluid, and would like to come out, but there’s a few people I’m uncomfortable/scared of coming out to.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking for quite some time, but I think I’ve got a relatively good idea of who I am now. I’m currently identifying as Genderfluid (technically Genderflux is a more fitting term, but I’m going with Genderfluid cause it’s more familiar, Genderflux is under the Genderfluid umbrella, and the flag is prettier). Basically, I feel more intensely some days about my gender identity than other days. Sometimes I feel strongly like a she/her, others it’s they/them, and other days I don’t have a preference.
But anyway, figuring out my identity isn’t what this post is about. I’m just... kinda nervous to come out to a lot of people? I’ve told a few of my closest friends and my partner, but I’m skeptical about coming out to my family, and just outright scared about coming out to two of my closest friends.
DnD Problems (Panic #115)
TL;DR: I was planning a 3-player DnD campaign, player 3 dropped out, and I’m struggling to find a replacement.
So, I got into Dungeons and Dragons like a year or two ago? But I’ve recently started DMing a few games of my own, one of which I was trying to organize between two of my guy friends and myself (I made my own character for the game as well). Spent a little bit of time coming up with ideas for the campaign with one of the two friends, with the other one not contributing too much, before he eventually just told me he was too busy to participate, and I should just replace him with someone else. No big deal, really.
Thankfully, I was able to get my datefriend interested, so they took the third player position. Now datefriend, friend, and myself have been bouncing ideas off each other and building up our characters and coming up with ideas for the story for quite a while, we were even considering holding our first session last night! (Sidenote: we’re doing the game over Discord cause friend lives in a different state)
Well, datefriend was a bit tired last night, so we just used the time as a brainstorming/general chatting session. Then, after datefriend and friend logged off, I continued brainstorming late into the night, doing some basic worldbuilding stuff.
Pitched my new ideas in the morning, and... datefriend messaged me, saying that they hadn’t really thought too much about the basics of the world, but when they did stop to think about it... they really weren’t comfortable participating in the campaign.
Now... I’m not mad at my partner... I completely understand and support their decision not to participate in the game, and I would never want to put them through something that made them uncomfortable... but now I’m kinda stuck. I can’t very well DM the game and play TWO characters that aren’t just normal NPCs, one is gonna be enough for me... but we can’t really play with just two players.
So now I have to find someone to replace my partner’s character. But I really??? Don’t know who else to even ask. I don’t know which of my friends are into DnD that would be interested in the plot we’ve got planned/are available to play. Most of the ones I know of who do play DnD, I know aren’t available/interested/are just in general hard to get a hold of. And I don’t wanna just invite a complete stranger, cause I’m not comfortable with that...
So idk what to do. I don’t wanna just scrap the story, I’ve been super excited about it for a while, and I spent a long time setting up the Discord server for it. I even bought some stuff to cosplay my character. For now, I put posts on my social media accounts where there’s more people I know irl asking if anyone would be interested... but the person I thought would be our most likely candidate already said no thanks, and no one else has replied... idk what I’m gonna do. I’m moreso just really disappointed, but I’m also a little anxious cause I’m like. What if no one wants to do it and I wind up having to cancel the campaign??? idk. I’m not having a good time right now.
~mod liv
Dangerously Gay (Panic #114)
So. I wrote my datefriend a song for their birthday, but I don’t know how to play an instrument. I have friends who know how, but I really wanna just make the whole thing by myself because 1. it’s more special that way and 2. I get embarrassed singing in front of people when it’s not just singing along with a professional song.
My plan was to install garageband and do the music part there, but I have like no storage left on my phone, and it wasn’t in the appstore on my phone either??? So I figured maybe I could get it on my laptop. But my laptop is not an Apple product, so first I looked to see if there were alternatives that were easy to use and free (there weren’t), then I decided to see if there was a way to get garageband on my laptop anyway.
I found a website and it gave instructions and a link to install it. So I clicked it, y’know, like an idiot. And next thing you know, I’ve got a virus on my laptop.
I think i managed to get rid of it... but if I didn’t I’m gonna be very mad at myself, this is a new laptop and it wasn’t cheap.
So yeah. My gay ass caused me to download a virus.
~mod liv
That autistic / ADHD feel when you want to do… something.
I call this “activity cravings” because it’s like when you want a certain food but you aren’t sure which food. But for activities.
Do I want to go for a walk? Play a game? If so, what kind of game? DO I want to make things? Read? Watch tv? A movie?
then when that executive dysfunction comes into play and since you could do literally anything in the world, you end up trapped and unable to choose anything to do at all, and do nothing instead but live in that restlessness
One of the best additions to this post yet. This is one of those nuances of choice paralysis that people fail to understand - sometimes it is because we lack the executive function to choose, sometimes we want to do all the things and can’t choose.
Unstoppable desire to do something vs immovable executive dysfunction.
If you relate to being an introvert, follow me @introvertunites.
The worst trick a childhood anxiety disorder pulls is, you spend your early years being applauded for being so much more mature than your peers, because you aren’t disruptive, you don’t want any kind of attention, you don’t express yourself, you keep yourself to yourself - this makes you a pleasure to have in class, etc etc - and you start to believe it’s virtue. But you’re actually way behind your peers in normal social development, and who knows if you can ever catch up.
Never heard a truer thing in my life.
holy shit wait you mean being just morbidly terrified of doing anything wrong ISN’T necessarily the same as being “well behaved?!”
Convenient children =/= healthy children
Convenient children do not equal healthy children
Things people with Social Anxiety do
•go to the bathroom to escape
•feel very uncomfortable without a phone or some other crutch
•dwell on a small awkward moment for much longer than necessary
•never go to any social event without a person that makes you feel comfortable
•follow said person way too much
•worry about the person beginning to find you obnoxious
•faking an illness to get out of a social event
Oh
Oh dear
Hi! Just read that BPD article you posted ages ago and honestly that makes so much sense! I thought I had depression but couldn’t figure out why it didn’t match up with the symptoms! Went to my doctor and we talked about BPD and he thinks that’s what I have (and social anxiety but I knew that already). So thanks!!! It’s still hard but at least I know now
Hey!I’m glad to hear I was able to help! I wish you the best of luck with it in the future, it should be immensely helpful knowing now what you’ve got. If you pay attention to it, you should eventually be able to pick up on your symptoms and how it affects your daily life. It also helps to know what specifically you’ve got if you ever decide to get treatment for it, but even if you don’t, understanding your condition should at the very least make it easier to explain to others if they have questions about your behavior.
Good luck!~mod liv
On the Latest Episode of “My Life is a Shitshow...”(Panic #114)
TL;DR: We can’t stay in our house right now because it’s being torn apart to fix water damage. This has happened once before, the guys moving things lost some stuff from my room, and we were out of the house for four months, so I packed accordingly.
SO, uhh a few weeks (maybe over a month?) ago, a tree fell on our house. BUT when it happened, it only really looked like it took out the outside porch, so we weren’t very concerned about it. But recently, our ceiling started leaking... So we went to try and figure out where the leak had started, and discovered that one of the branches from the tree smashed a considerable hole in the roof.
So for the past few days we’ve had a few guys coming in and out of our house to assess the damage, and they wound up having to put three dehumidifiers in the house to dry things up. One in each bedroom (upstairs) and one in our kitchen (downstairs.) The thing about dehumidifiers though...? They make the rooms they’re in hot. Like really hot. Both bedrooms were practically turned into saunas, and the downstairs was barely any better.