Your Local Cryptid

Nobinary Queer with a love for memes, dad jokes and Pluto. I have anxiety and depression but I’m the sweetest person you’ll ever meet… Unless. |ISFP-T/Taurus 1994, They/Them|

[chaser]

Boss is asleep, cannot stop me from frogposting

[chaser]

First like and this has already found its intended audience

[chaser]

uh oh

[itsmyturnonthegender]

[the-big-mood]

Pokémon playing hide and seek is the cutest thing ever🥺

[penny-anna]

hot take: 

Gloin is the sexiest dwarf by dwarf standards.

Kili is the sexiest dwarf by elf standards.

Thorin is the sexiest dwarf by human standards

& Bombur is the sexiest dwarf by hobbit standards

[penny-anna]

#ITS TRUE AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT #(ALSO THORIN AND KILI BEING ‘UGLY’ BY DWARF STANDARDS IS AMUSING CONTENT)

further take: Kili is straight-up ugly by dwarf standards. Thorin is like, the dwarf equivalent of Benedict Cumberbatch. Some dwarves think he’s an absolutely dreamboat, others think he is super weird looking, there’s very little middle ground.

[kayla-bird-deactivated20190505]

omg now i’m like. what does this make frodo by hobbit standards

[penny-anna]

by hobbit standards, I’m afraid Frodo is probably. not conventionally attractive at all.

[femmefaramir]

Frodo is the sexiest hobbit by elf standards

[stinkylittlegnome]

@femmefaramir this is some fucking galaxy brain level tags and im crying out of sheer horror

[headspace-hotel]

Every day, against my will, the LOTR fandom makes posts.

[cipheramnesia]

We getses tagged teamed by the precious hunky orcses boys til we’re wrung out like a soggy dishes rag we does

[cipheramnesia]

Sorry that was uncalled for

[bat-anon]

@keeper-of-the-flames I believe this is your circus?

[keeper-of-the-flames]

What have I walked into with this fandom?

[memeuplift]

[anxiousgrey]

catbus

[teamjacobthot]

[teamjacobthot]

@t-e-reynolds ok so boom

smeyer wakes up from a vivid dream on june 2, 2003

smeyer’s dream inspires her to write twilight

twilight gets published (2005) and the books and movies become a global phenomenon

e.l. james writes a bdsm twilight fanfic titled master of the universe

master of the universe is later published as fifty shades of grey (2011)

the fifty shades book series becomes wildly popular

fifty shades of grey gets adapted into a movie (2015), in which dakota johnson is cast as protagonist anastasia steele in her breakthrough role

the fifty shades movie series also becomes wildly popular and dakota johnson’s acting career takes off

dakota goes on ellen degeneres’s talk show, where ellen tries to play dakota for a fool and dakota shuts that shit down

people start noticing that ellen has a tendency to make her celeb guests feel very uncomfortable and is terrible to her employees

ellen makes the decision to end her talk show in 2022 after 19 years

[rightdowntherabbithole]

no because i think we're forgetting some important history

[adonischildsupportcase]

[elierlick]

Yet another new study debunked the basis for the anti-trans sports bans. It was never about sports but for creating legal avenues for exclusion and abjection. This is one of the largest analyses ever conducted, involving 52 studies and 6,485 trans people. Read the study here.

[lucieslucidity]

post so nice had to reblog it twice and force it down everyone's throats

[fleshengine]

At minimum about 4.5 thousand people liked this without reblogging it.

We gotta fix that.

[sternen--staub]

occasional posts from users

[ann-decart]

reblog if you make occasional posts

[cleolinda]

Sometimes I still hear my voice

[the-big-mood]

“can't wait to go home, i have a lot to do”

me as soon as I get home:

[eatpussypraylove]

Favorite adderall review

[joebidensbignaturals]

[ralfmaximus]

You have to watch the dosage.

[mortimermcmirestinks]

You have to watch the dosage.

[escuerzoresucitado]

[girlbossjodiarias]

#all they serve is cunt

[anxiousgrey]

WHY IS THIS MATURE CONTENT!? lmao

[damnhotpocket]

Gema.piano on instagram

Why are all music teachers like this 😭😭😭

[anxiousgrey]

once a piano teacher told my ex “you had hands like dead flopping fish on piano”

[shittynewyorkercartooncaptions]

[thesociallyanxioussociopath]

Post Finale Quite hopeful of you to think Lucifer "can't-be-bothered-to-know-any-sinner's-name" Morningstar would remember your existence after a tour in The Scary Box, Alastor

[crabussy]

wow I love to sit crosslegged without moving for several hours straight!

[crabussy]

okay time to straighten my legs man I'm so excited

[crabussy]

I f eel like a suit of armour that was attacked by a welder

[crabussy]

I am nineteen years old

[gdhdbbdndbdbdjdhdb]

I’m getting my hair done btw

[gdhdbbdndbdbdjdhdb]

And I’m getting hungry can one of you bring me something to eat

[pinene]

I’m getting sandwiches what do u want on yours

[gdhdbbdndbdbdjdhdb]

I want banh mi

[pinene]

Jersey Mike said he doesn’t know what that is

[gdhdbbdndbdbdjdhdb]

Fuck his white ass

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"

[caustic-pixie]

OP the tags!!