"stuff with bits in it"

32 m straight switch odd bits naughty bits funny bits sometimes hopefully some profound stuff

[neil-gaiman]

I was reading a book (about interjections, oddly enough) yesterday which included the phrase “In these days of political correctness…” talking about no longer making jokes that denigrated people for their culture or for the colour of their skin. And I thought, “That’s not actually anything to do with ‘political correctness’. That’s just treating other people with respect.”

Which made me oddly happy. I started imagining a world in which we replaced the phrase “politically correct” wherever we could with “treating other people with respect”, and it made me smile. 

You should try it. It’s peculiarly enlightening.

I know what you’re thinking now. You’re thinking “Oh my god, that’s treating other people with respect gone mad!”

Happy Valentine’s Day.

[neil-gaiman]

“Neil Gaiman: “We’re working on seeing how many smart-alec answers we can come up with when people ask us how we collaborated.” Terry Pratchett: “I wrote all the words, and Neil assembled them into certain meaningful patterns… What it wasn’t was a case of one guy getting 2/3 of the money and the other guy doing ¾ of the work.” NG: “It wasn’t, somebody writes a three-page synopsis, and then somebody else writes a whole novel and gets their name small on the bottom.” TP: “That isn’t how we did it, mainly because our egos were fighting one another the whole time, and we were trying to grab the best bits from one another.” NG: “We both have egos the size of planetary cores.” TP: “Probably the most significant change which you must have noticed [between the British and American editions] is the names get the other way ‘round. They’re the wrong way 'round on the American edition [where Gaiman is listed first] –” NG: “They’re the wrong way 'round on the English edition.” TP: “Both of us are prepared to admit the other guy could tackle our subject. Neil could write a 'Discworld’ book, I could do a 'Sandman’ comic. He wouldn’t do a good 'Discworld’ book and I wouldn’t do a good 'Sandman’ comic, but –” NG: “– we’re the only people we know who could even attempt it.” TP: “I have to say there’s a rider there. I don’t think either of us has that particular bit of magic, if that’s what it is, that the other guy puts into the work, but in terms of understanding the mechanisms of how you do it, I think we do.” NG: “There’s a level on which we seem to share a communal undermind, in terms of what we’ve read, what we bring to it.””

— http://www.locusmag.com/2006/Issues/1991_Gaiman_Pratchett.html

[bombcollar]

it’s ween

[exceptionerroralex]

the ween is currently being hallowed

[myrieon]

I was trying to google "star trek lower decks". Instead I typed "star trek lower ducks". I was not disappointed.

[huffylemon]

[official-megumin]

@a-sentient-cup

[catsofinstagram]

[ya-wn]

please for the love of god turn ur sound on

[iamprophet4profit]

*boston accent*  “It takes a pet like NO PRABLEM! Nat afraid at alll, Thats a great cat right there..”

[destroyscythe-heck]

Here he is all grown up!

His name is Maui and he still takes a pat like no phrawblem

But he’s still giving you the stink eye because he’s actually a New York bodega cat at Willy’s Deli in Brooklyn and you know how New Yorkers are about Bostonians

That’s a great cat right there

Also his whittle white peety paws 😍😍😍

[fluffy-critter]

I love how they’re evaluating him like a car

[musicalhell]

always reblog Maui, a great cat right there

[bluef00t]

Tobey Maguire Spider-Man "it's a hard knock life" fancam hours

[boastmalone]

How does it feel to have conceptualized the perfect Spider-Man trailer op

[oracleocelot]

[magicalgirlmindcrank]

Hello welcome my ADHD themed gameshow, "So you were holding it literally moments ago but now it's gone" the where YOU look for whatever you were just holding while going increasingly mad

[magicalgirlmindcrank]

I'm just trying to get the mood right

[firetinasty]

Reblog if you didn't notice the missing words

[dappermouth]

Strange roadside buildings where you shouldn’t ever go.

[teaboot]

If I can recommend you do 1 low-effort thing for the love of God it is this:

Keep 5 cards in your pocket. One will say "yes", the second will say "no."

If you lose your voice, or lose speech, or want to make a dramatic embellishment at the right time, it is an elegant and efficient solution that is right there at hand.

But what if people question you from there? "Why do you have that card? Why would you do this? How long have you had that in your pocket?" For this, or whatever else they say, the third card: "I don't have a card for that."

"What the fuck," they ask. They laugh. They are bemused. You bring the energy back down with the fourth card: "I have laryngitis. I've lost speech. My throat hurts". Whatever you expect to occur.

The joke is over. Rule of threes. Now they are curious. YThey wonder about logistics. "How did you know I would say that? Is everyone so predictable?"

As a three-part bit, nobody ever sees the fifth card coming.

"I have powerful wizard magics."

Gets them every time

[fervent-bookwomb]

On it boss!!

[teaboot]

[id: a set of 5 UNO cards upon which has been written, "Yes", "no", "I don't have a card for that", "can't talk right now 😢", and "I have powerful wizard magics 🙂". End id]

[gigicaldwell]

I’m a field man now! Mowing down vamps with my best friend Bud.

DAVE FRANCO as SETH in DAY SHIFT 2022, dir J. J. Perry

[confusionofconfusions-deactivat]

Boris won’t stop annoying me for dinner even though dinner is in 40 minutes so I’m trying to teach Boris when to expect dinner using base-bean

[confusionofconfusions-deactivat]

sulking

[average-smoothie-enjoyer]

My favorite “humans are space orcs” idea is that trope where aliens kidnap some humans for their zoo, except it ends up like Jurassic Park. And the poor Alien Humanologists who were invited to the park are like:

“You mean you locked up a pack of curious, highly competitive persistence predators with NO enrichment in the enclosure? You FOOLS! If you had bothered to throw a basketball or half a box of Legos in there, KE-X9 would still be alive!

“Well of course they climbed the retaining wall! Did you think to study their evolutionary lineage AT ALL?”

[what-even-is-thiss]

The humans would find a way to use the basketball and legos to escape. I mean one time a guy somehow escaped from a prison in Mexico without breaking any laws so his escape would be legal so honestly given enough time the Jurassic park situation is inevitable.

[elidyce]

Jurassic Park would be awesome, but now that I think about it I also kind of love love the idea of humans as the alien zoo equivalent of those octopuses that climb out of their tanks and wander around taste-testing other exhibits or throwing sub-par shrimp at handlers. 

Like they’re totally unable to figure out what’s happening because the cameras keep going out, but every night things get moved, or stolen, exhibits are disappearing, WHAT IS GOING ON, they’ve moved facilities twice and it’s still happening, are they haunted, are the ancestors angry, WHAT IS HAPPENING!?

And then a weary humanologist is all ‘… your humans are getting out’. 

“That is impossible.” 

“They’re getting out.” 

“That enclosure is COMPLETELY SECURE.” 

“And yet somehow they’re getting out.” 

“THE HUMANS ARE NOT GETTING OUT.” 

“Oh yeah? I bet you twenty glarks they’re getting out. Stay after closing time with me and I’ll show you.” 

*next day*

“… the humans were getting out.” 

“… why did they keep going back in, then?!”

(In a deeply embarrassed mumble) “They said they weren’t going to escape until they finished their behavioural experiments. Uh. On us.”

[thegaymertrainer]

Speechless

[teaboot]

DUDE THIS KID SHREDS HARD

[lacefuneral]

i’m glad we all agree

[whatsthepointofthisbloganyway]

this is what dnd bards look like when they’re casting spells. like this dude is casting fucking power word kill but the power word is SHRED

[netherworldpost]

I am going to remember this image forever, it will save me so much time

[netherworldpost]

Another

[cursed--alien]

"It's actually your fault that your paranoia is making you misinterpret my post, and in fact you're doing it on purpose"

You sound like my dad when he told me I have anxiety attacks on purpose because I "like the attention"

[veteranofathousandpsychicwars]

It's amazing to me that you managed to do exactly what this post is talking about without taking a moment to reflect and recognize that.

[curioscurio]

i'll do it for sam

[curioscurio]

And when there was only one pair of footprints in the sand, that's when Samwise Gamgee carried me

[maykitz]

every time theres a new bad tv show or movie people act like its the end of the world you guys need to learn about the not watching shit method i’ve been successfully employing the not watching shit method for years

[the-better-rainbow-unikitty]

This tag deserves to be seen