[just-shower-thoughts]

I feel like Morgan Freeman has been old my whole life

[just-shower-thoughts]

As a loyal customer, I feel really ripped off when companies have a promotion for new customers but offer nothing for customers who have been with them for years.

[just-shower-thoughts]

Cactus are the most antisocial plant, they grow in the middle of the desert and still like, “Don’t fucking come near me”.

[thatsthat24]

have you ever been f****d in the a**

One time a flight attendant offered me a bag of chips and I happily accepted. It wasn’t until after I opened it that the flight attendant told me it cost money and I had to pay for it. And that would be the last time I would ever be fooled in the air.

[fanonical]

imagine if hermione granger used her powers for evil

harry potter would not have lasted a single day

[blackness-by-your-side]

Love has no gender. Love has no race. Love has no age.

[kimbiablue]

Imagine John and Sherlock watching Doctor Who, and they hear River’s line about Twelve - “When you love the doctor, it’s like loving the stars themselves. You don’t expect a sunset to admire you back.”

Sherlock would cock his head and turn to John, next to him on the sofa.

“Does that quite make sense to you, John?” he would say. “Or is it just sentimental nonsense?”

John would shift where he’s sat and grin over at Sherlock. “Sentimental nonsense for sure, yeah. But probably some truth in it.“

Then he would fall silent for a moment. Sherlock would wait patiently, observing that John isn’t finished speaking.

“Dunno about a sunset though. Stars, right, probably something darker…” John’s eyes would flit over Sherlock’s hair, his skin, his dark blue dressing gown. “Light on dark, yeah. Stars. Yeah.”

Sherlock would be clueless. John would clear his throat and turn his head back to the telly.

“Really, John? The sun makes perfect sense to me. Conductor of light and all.” Sherlock would say, feeling bold, glancing over as his lips would quirk to one side.

John would glance back at him, confused for a moment, then intrigued, and then-

Sherlock had called him a conductor of light once. John would wonder - is he…? Or who is he talking about? Another person he’d call a conductor of light? John would sprain them.

—

Tune in next week for another episode of oblivious pining morons 😂

@shawleyleres @beejohnlocked @coloringthegreyscale @vanetti @inevitably-johnlocked @yorkiepug @astudyinsnoggy @love-in-mind-palace @loveinthemindpalace @kellpod @shag-me-senseless-watson @johns-posh-boy @chrysanthemumsies @one-thousand-splendid-stars @depth-of-loyalty-and-love @holmeson @holmesianscholar @sherlock-overflow-error @the-blue-carbuncle @princess-of-fireflies @fleurdelisandbees @simpleanddestructivechemistry @yume-chaaan

[danisnotonfires]

[tessie-the-bee]

My naym is dog My frend is smol He dose not fetch Or thro the ball But I not chays Or bite like cat Insted I’m kind I lyk the rat

My naym is rat And this caynine He show me how to have good tyme I stand up tall Upon my toes I stretch my tung I lyk his nose

[advanced-procrastination]

I love you

[apetshiiq-blog]

This made my day

[bluebellofbakerstreet]

I made a cover for LifeonMars’ ( @marsdaydream ) lovely fic Points.

[marsdaydream]

OH MY GOD. 

*IS DEAD*

HOW…. HOLY CRAP, THIS IS PERFECT. 

[alexxphoenix42]

This fic is fantastic beyond belief. YES, YES, YES!!!

[shag-me-senseless-watson]

I did another one!

Before and after Ben’s eyes. I’m honestly in love with this.

@shawleyleres @love-in-mind-palace @loveinthemindpalace

[amirdrassil]

Yeah? Well, it’s been there since nine this morning.

- Has it? Where were you?

Helping Mrs. H with her sudoku.

[backwardabyss]

The truth’s boring.

[bisexualfeministlion]

True

[wssh-watson-deactivated20191117]

the night of his wedding, after everything is done and they’re lying down for the night, john is full of melancholia. he cannot sleep and is staring up restlessly at the ceiling of the bedroom, too deep in thought and regret to even chase shadows. he remembers sherlock’s words, his eyes, his face: how, bathed in the muted colours of a sunset–purple-yellow–, the softness of each had struck john.

a softness deeper than knives and more fatal than a gun.

sherlock’s eyes: the wetness in them, the shape of lids above spelling grief. his words: self-deprecating and good-humoured to hide the illness underneath.

his face: a rictus john wishes he could remember as amorphous but whose form sends the fist at his side into twitches.

jesus.

when his left eye begins to sting and there is a dampness in the corner that is tangible as he blinks–when his breath comes out shallow and thin and too fast–john turns onto his side, back to mary, and closes his eyes.

maybe if he keeps them closed long enough, he will wake up three years ago in another bedroom.

maybe if he wishes it hard enough, he is back at 221b.

but sherlock, for all that he is john’s twice miracle, cannot change the foundations of time and space: there are miracles not even he can perform.

*

john falls asleep early in the morning with his wedding ring too heavy on his finger.

[thepineapplering]

John’s cock may be bigger than we think

I was thinking about John’s dong while ironing (as one usually does), specifically the tyre lever scene, when Mary says ‘It is a tiny bit sexy’ when John stuffs a large piece of metal down his pants

He fights Billy, finds Shezza and then they all go into the car to St Barts

Have the St. Barts scene where John’s junk is discussed

Then John and Sherlock take a cab to Baker St, where we have the scene with Mycroft, Anderson and finally Janine

And John sits while feeling utterly jealous

Janine leaves, and Sherlock talks about Magnussen while John is trying to digest the Janine thing

And then Magnussen enters Baker St, his minions having to frisk John

TO FIND

THE TYRE LEVER?!?!?

I’m expected to believe John had that lever down his trousers when he sat in 2 cars, climbed stairs and sat to watch Sherlock cuddling with Janine?!? And forgot he had it THERE?

What I’m saying is that John is so HUGE, he does not find strange at all to carry that large piece of metal between his legs for an hour? maybe 2?. It was bussiness as usual for dear old John.

Oh Sherlock. I don’t know if I should envy you, be happy or fear for you. Really.

[loudest-subtext-in-television-d]

truly the meta this community deserves, bless

[unreconstructedfangirl]

LULZ.

[221beemine]

How was there even enough room in his jeans for a massive lever and a massive lever??? Are his jeans a TARDIS?

[wssh-watson-deactivated20191117]

Here nonny for your delectation have a John big dick meta

[byebyefrost-deactivated20170519]

As soon as this appears on my dash, I smash the reblog button.

[hubblegleeflower]

I HAD NOT SEEN THIS BEFORE BUT I LAUGHED LIKE A DONKEY WHEN I SAW THE TITLE.

[p-arker]

[slides nasa $20] so, tell me about the aliens

[nightcoremoon]

aliens: [slide nasa $40]

nasa: lmao what aliens

[slitherpunk]

nasa, with $60, holding back tears: we can finally afford some more space rocks

[thenearsightedmonkey]

By Lynda Barry  May 2016

[kateordie]

Every time I see this I love it more

[cheese24k]

[clambistro-deactivated20161211]

Ahh, it’s back

[julierthanyou]

i have disproportionately strong feelings about this.

[party-wok]

every time i say “nah i’m not gonna watch it again.” BUT I STILL DO EVERY TIME.

[bestrooftalkever]

YEAUGH