hi gang please observe my cat. that is all.

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@apolloonpluto
hi gang please observe my cat. that is all.
A group of far-future linguists and archeologists suddenly *poof* into existence in front of me. One is holding a tablet. "What is the difference between 'red sauce' and 'tomato sauce?'" they ask me. "The distinction is not clear in extant texts from this time and place."
"Uh, they're the same thing," I tell them. "Who are you?"
"Yes!" the being with the tablet exclaims.
One of the other researchers groans. "No! My thesis...months of writing wasted..." One of the others comforts them.
"Now, what is this object for?" The first researcher holds up a discolored, dinged-up plastic object. It's clearly been buried in the ground for quite some time, but the two holes and the scuffed plastic window are distinctive.
"That's a cassette tape. You record music with it."
"Interesting, interesting." The being enters something on the tablet.
"How are you speaking English?"
"Sophisticated translation technology," one of the researchers confides. "We are students of your society. From the future."
"What does this pictogram represent?" The researcher with the tablet turns it around so that the screen faces me.
It's the eggplant emoji.
"Sex," I say. "Why do you need to ask me this if you can time travel or whatever? Can't you just go wherever you want to go and look around and see how these things are being used?"
The beings shift guiltily and look at each other. "Technically, travel to times and places prior the advent of time travel is strictly prohibited. Paradoxes, you know."
"Oh."
"We must get back before our advisor returns to the lab. Just don't tell anyone you saw us, alright? The space-time continuity depends on it. Can you do that?"
"Uh, sure, I guess?"
One of them pats me on the head. "And don't go to Mars."
"Okay. Wait, why? Is it dangerous?"
"No. Just not worth it."
The group disappears in a shimmering light.
The cassette clatters to the sidewalk behind them.
Out of befuddlement, mainly, I pick it up. It's clearly old, discolored and scuffed, but it still has tape in it.
I carry the tape around in my pocket for a while. The curiosity builds. I want to know what's on that tape. I don't have a cassette player anymore, so I go to Goodwill and pick up the first one I can find, praying that it still works. I plug it in. It turns on.
I slide the tape inside. It's dirty, but it still seems to be in decent shape. I snap the player closed and hit play. The wheels begin to turn. I hold my breath.
A familiar tune starts up. A wobbly voice comes out of the machine.
We're no strangers to love
"what does this pictogram represent?"
What I learned not to do in art school
little miss awful body temperature regulation is taking his hoodie off again
little miss awful body temperature regulation has put his hoodie back on
awful back body has his hoodie little miss on put regulation temperature
stop that put my words back normal style
🐌✨ get snailed! 🐌✨
snop snat snut my snords back snormal snyle
i'll fucking do it you son of a bitch snop snat right now
my silly two cents on why I don’t think ao3 ever needs an official app are that
it works just fine as it is
if it has an app, that means it has to be approved by appstore / google play store, that means there’s a very real and high chance of appstore and play store “banning specific contents from ao3”, leading to censorship. so this goes against ao3’s core principles of being against censorship.
I think we’re so used to every single thing being an app that we don’t realize not everything has to be an app. the “should ao3 has an app or not” discourse wasn’t around before until recently, and there’s a reason for that.
also worth mentioning that all the “ao3 apps” you see are third-party apps (and these apps usually have ads). as of the time this post is being made, ao3 does not have an app. so all the “ao3 apps” you see are not affiliated with the actual ao3 in any way, shape or form. so be very careful giving these apps your login info and/or other personal information.
Is that…… them
YALL THERES MORE TO THE SERIES
i wonder what they're gossiping about
had to draw them
You are not "three apples tall" bitch you are an evil ghoul and you are tall as fuck
hello august you piece of shit
AO3 DOESN’T HAVE AN APP. AO3 DOESN’T NEED AN APP. YOU’RE GIVING YOUR LOGIN INFO TO SOME SHADY THIRD-PARTY APP THAT’S FULL OF ADS AND GOD KNOWS WHAT
imagine cloth mother and wire mother in family court competing for custody of the baby monkey
I Have Softness For You
i have milk for you
Stop.
Cut the baby monkey in half
"I'm a top" "I'm a bottom" okay??? I am an arms dealer???? fitting you with weapons in the form of words?????
harry potter fans in 2025
people DESPERATE in the notes to explain why the way THEY engage with harry potter is morally pure. It's like white people talking about rap music in there! Libraries buy the books! Fanfiction maintains a conversation around the IP! There is NO WAY to enjoy harry potter in 2025 without publicly supporting JK Rowling!
Please stop fucking reading it so the library doesn't have to pay her money. I am a transgender librarian and I am not allowed to not replace old damaged HP books, people read them so we need to have them on our shelves, and what she does with the money doesn't factor into it.
STOP READING HARRY FUCKING POTTER.
I used to be into it! In-depth character analysis, wizard rock, irl quidditch, but when she outed herself as a piece of shit, I couldn't support it anymore!
ASK YOUR LIBRARY FOR OTHER BOOKS TO READ AND STOP READING HARRY FUCKING POTTER.
sorry but if your bed isn’t against at least one wall you’re not valid
I used to think this post was stupid because most people like both sides of the bed free but then I realized some psychopaths put their bed like this so not even the headboard is against a wall and this post is about these animals.
A single person’s bed is generally against 2 walls, a couple’s bed is generally against 1 wall, and people with 0 walls have no fear of the dark/unseen with direct access to their head, and therefore cannot be human.
ok the bed just out in the middle of the room is bad but have you considered: only the footboard end against a wall
no i hadn’t. why would you put that image into my head?
Okay, but how is this
I’m at a loss for words
This was the bed of Thomas Jefferson.
STay out of my study unless you intend to have sex with me
A frustrating part of the mainstream vegan “love all animals and protect the environment” mindset is the fact that things need to die in real-life ecology all the time but deer hunting season makes icky feelings and carp culls aren’t cottagecore
The vegan “any animal death ever is morally wrong” mindset doesn’t hold up when:
We don’t have any of the large predators we used to (black bears, mountain lions, or gray wolves) but still retain large deer populations. If nothing is removing animals, they’ll quickly overload the carrying capacity of the environment and have massive losses to starvation and disease that can also pass on to livestock. Human hunters replace the large predators that our landscape can no longer support.
It’s kinder to euthanize an un-releasable hawk rather than try to find it a permanent home with humans. Wildlife rehabs have extremely limited space and resources and are usually run entirely on donated money and volunteer time. Only a few are large and stable enough to care for permanent residents long-term, and those spots are few and far between.
An invasive species poses a danger to threatened native wildlife. I will admit- Australian possums are adorable. But not in New Zealand, where they’re an invasive species that eats the eggs of ground-dwelling birds that previously had no such predators. The landowners I worked with replanting native bush, all native Maori, had no qualms about setting the dogs on them.
I don’t know how to end this except. Sometimes things just gotta die and acting otherwise just isn’t a realistic expectation.
Highlights from the notes over the past 6 months include a lot of angry vegans saying “you’re blowing things out of proportion, no vegans actually think like this!” and a lot of people who work in conservation and education saying “Every day. I have to fight people who think like this.”
As a bonus this post was originally inspired by the vegan who called me racist for saying we should kill invasive species