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PLEASE CHECK #HOPE ON MY BLOG FOR REASONS TO KEEP LIVING TODAY
Vodka & benadryl got me feeling like a oyster
so did pjackk say anything before he got bload up again or did his corpse just kinda roll through here like a tumbleweed
Word
A series of events:
1. I put in an Annual Leave request form almost 3 weeks ago and my boss has not approved it yet
2. I went into my office today and replaced every single writing utensil with crayons in preparation for April Fools Day on Monday
3. Whilst searching for pens to remove, I found my unsigned Annual Leave form in my boss’s drawer
4. I placed my unsigned Annual Leave form in a photo frame and put it on his desk
5. The frame I used was from a photo of his kids that I deemed less important than my Leave form
6. My boss sometimes goes into the office on Saturdays to work
7.
Happy 2 year anniversary to the post that my old boss allegedly now has framed in his office, next to the recovered photo of his children.
Hello?? Can anyone hear me???
aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall
Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.
Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him
This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.
Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.
It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance
They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.
if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes
Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.
Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.
this is too good to leave hidden in the replies
fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard
Arlington Maple
PJACKK HAS RETURNED
HE IS GONE AGAIN
thank you The Beatles
That’s Queen but yes thank you!
[ID: a picture of the four members of the band Fleetwood Mac pointing at the camera. It’s subtitled “You’re GAY!” /End ID]
[ID: It’s ABBA. its fucking ABBA. /End ID]
Good thing i have a wednesday to thursday transformation fetish
WE JUST GOT HIM BACK😭
HE'S GONE AGAIN???????
she lets me hit because she hasnt memorized my attack patterns