Apostate More Precious Than Rubies

"Of course, my price is far above rubies. I am literally a human."

[apostateoverrubies]

How Do You Do Fellow Heretics?

Hi, everyone! My name is Sue, I use she/they pronouns, I am bisexual and I am 20+ years old. As of the time of me making this blog, I have recently become an ex Pentecostal and have become agnostic after trying to hold on to my Christian faith. So it goes without saying that this blog focuses on deconstruction, religious trauma and overall ex religious stuff.

Though my blog will focus primarily on ex Christian stuff for obvious reasons, I will also be reblogging stuff from other ex religious people like ex Muslims and such since I think we should make this community more open so more people can be seen and heard.

I know the fact that I use pronouns and announced my sexuality should make it obvious but this a pro-LGBT blog so homophobia, transphobia and acephobia of any kind isn’t welcome here. I am also a feminist and a woman of color so I’m not having shit like misogyny or racism/colorism either.

I want my blog to be a safe place for people like me, especially ones in a position where they feel trapped in a religious society more than willing to throw you away for daring stray away from what they believe.

Don’t come trying to bring me back into Christianity. I’ve heard everything under the sun so it simply won’t work. Don’t waste your time trying and leave me be. I know how to use the block button and won’t waste my time with debates for the most part.

With all that being said, welcome to my blog! I hope you enjoy what you see! And if you don’t, that’s your problem and not mine.

[whatthekoi-deactivated20260510]

“can’t believe women fought to work!! i don’t wanna work!!” women have Been Working they fought to get Paid you know that right ?

[shamebats]

You know how some married couples cheat on each other constantly and don't break up over it but they'll still insist they're strictly monogamous and they probably have some really bigoted views towards poly people too? Most western parents seem to be doing the same thing but with communal child-rearing. They're already actively outsourcing the majority of interactions with their children to teachers & devices but if you suggest anything that would make it so other people have a say in how their children are raised, they'll want you dead. But they'll still send their children to school expecting the teachers to do everything from potty training to teaching them how to do their taxes.

[despazito]

[despazito]

Awesome

[headspace-hotel]

This dog is so inbred holy cow

[headspace-hotel]

I somehow missed that the dog was born literally the day after Charlie Kirk's death, giving the name an appearance of suggesting that Charlie Kirk was reincarnated as an inbred Pomeranian.

The way Americans attempt to show reverence and honor gives disrespect and blasphemy a run for their money.

[manuciruja]

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

[manuciruja]

i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users

[thewingedwolf]

do you think the catholic church effectively utilized wokeness by funneling money into the colonization and rape of the americas after issuing the doctrine of discovery which effectively legalized the subjugation of indigenous peoples?

[winged-thinged]

"with the exception of queerness and divorce" as if you can just lay those things aside, like those people aren't being actively hurt and excluded by the community that you choose to be a part of. Like divorcees and queer people don't matter. Like those regressive teachings aren't deeply rooted within the structure of natural law theology, patriarchy, strict rules about "complementary" gender roles and men's and women's places and pervasive sexual shame. Like it's fine that there is not a single Catholic church led by a woman. Like it's okay that women, queer people, those who have sex at the wrong time or who have the wrong kind of sex are denied access to the sacraments. Like it's okay that the organization facilitates and hides abuse and hides and punishes abuse victims. It's really woke.

[winged-thinged]

thinkin about the "Catholicism is Woke, Actually" strain of thought, championed by liberation theologians and Catholic queers and people who are a little too easily misled by Pope Francis's & Pope Leo's social media campaigns, and I think what it is symptomatic of, is the desire to redeem Catholicism (because you find something meaningful in it) without doing the hard work of actually redeeming Catholicism (because that would mean undoing thousands of years of abuse and oppression and injustice and taking modern Catholicism apart at the seams and undermining almost everything it stands for and coming out the other side with something radically different than when you started). It's just too hard, it's too much work, it's uncomfortable and means seriously reckoning with how your community, your sources of meaning, your God cause harm, and most people aren't willing to do that. But they're aware enough of the many Problems with Catholicism to be uncomfortable, and they don't want to be seen as socially regressive. So they do the same thing that Pope Leo's social media team has been so adept at. They rebrand. Slap a fresh coat of paint on. Call it "progressive." No need to actually reckon with the ongoing legacy of centuries of patriarchy and colonialism and abuse and sexual repression if you can just paint a smile over Jesus's bloody face.

[volach-deactivated20230326]

“When the handle has snapped off the basket that held all your eggs…” gone girl tier monologue

[womenintheirwebs-archived]

wow she read them down

[wanderingjunkdrawer]

When you manage a fabric store in a midwest town, you see this played out in real time. Young women coming in during that first year of marriage - when their husbands go to dental college - pert, bubbling with creative plans. Then, four years on, you help them shift to the reality of balancing budget with creativity - and they learn the value of that inexpensive flatfold table that they used to badmouth - to make that 2nd & 3rd baby their own quilts. And they're exhausted. And they're scared. And they are 1000 miles away from family.

And you have your staff play with their kids while you hold them in the tiny restroom as they come completely undone because they just found out that their golden boy husband is having an affair with the someone he's been doing residency with for the past three years.

He confessed that he'd rather be with the other woman but she's of a different faith and it's more important to have kids than to be happy. And no. No he will not grant her a divorce. And he will not stop seeing the other woman - because he's a man. It's his right.

TRUE story.

Also - She was NOT THE ONLY ONE to fall to pieces in our store for similar reasons.

I loath the ideology of "tradwives". It is a false doctrine preach by Patriarchy not a divine being.

It is the nature of evil to hide this way.

.

[jeza-red]

This is 100% what happened to the host mom I've been au-pairing for. And to many other moms my friends have been au-pairing for.

Married out of college, 4 kids, he spent 15 years building up his career while she took care of the house and the kids. When he was earning $600k a year suddenly he started to pull away - she wasn't as pretty anymore, the kids were loud, the house was a mess... She wasn't good enough anymore. He got himself a flat. He got her me and my precedessors to help with the kids. No, they can't divorce, that would make him pay her money for the kids and he didn't like that. Every once in a while a bill would be unpaid. My weekly checks would bounce. We lived in a $1,5mil house around DC and our gas or water was turned off more than once.

Somehow he was always out of money.

By accident she learned from a friend of a friend that he was actually seeing a young lady lawyer for a few years now. It wasn't her, it wasn't lost interest. He was just a piece of shit.

Thankfully, she had family that took no shit and they stood behind her and borrowed her money for lawyers to force the divorce now that she had proof of him cheating. She's spent tens of thousands to get there while he was resisting every step of the way - because without divorce he wouldn't have to pay her alimony, he could just throw scraps whenever he wanted and still pretend to be a good dad.

She's spent tens of thousands and two years to free herself from this man, and when she could finally go to work (thank fuck she finished college) she was earning $25k a year.

She only managed to get away with the support of her parents and family. Through the au-pair grapevine I've known other families like that. Too many. Lady down the street tried to commit suicide when same happened to her - she was from Taiwan and had no support to get free. And people around scorned her for being "dramatic" - women who held on to their places with their fingertips talked shit about her, because their own husbands would never...! Right?

Right?

[techmomma]

This? This is the kind of shit that first wave feminists and suffragettes were fighting against. Hell, even into second-wave feminism.

This? Is why conservatives want to take away no-fault divorce--because if some dude says no to a divorce and you don't have any (IRON-TIGHT) evidence of cheating? Then you're stuck in that situation and he doesn't have to pay a drop toward you and your kids. He can go get a flat, fuck his mistress, and you will starve with your kids until you can get some kind of proof of him cheating and a judge who likes you.

Now imagine all of this horror movie shit, AND you can't open a bank account without this piece of shit opening it with you. That was what women dealt with until about the 70s when we were finally allowed to open bank accounts with a man's signature.

That is what conservatives and fundies want to take you back to. When this shit was just the fucking norm.

There are old white guys still alive who remember who damn nice it was when a woman couldn't open a bank account without a man's signature and his dad could go live a double life with a mistress with zero repercussions and oh how they slather and drool for those times. And how they have waxed poetic about these halcyon days to their desperate daddy-issues sons now eager to please and without the social skills or emotional maturity to understand the fucked up nature of it all.

I'm willing to bet there's like 2 or 3 Tradhusbands(tm) out there for every Tradwife you see, they just haven't found someone they can sink their claws into. Which should maybe terrify you. This Tradwife(tm) movement should really be considered a canary in the coal mine.

[sandersstudies]

“Kids shouldn’t have to know about that.”

Okay so actually letting a serious topic be vague and confusing is much more scary for a child than explaining it in calm language they can understand.

[sandersstudies]

When you are in a safe place, explain the serious topic in a way the child can understand.

The fire alarm went off at school today because of a mistake, but your teachers did the right thing to take you outside to be sure it was safe.

Some people use wheelchairs because their legs don’t walk very well. It can happen because they are old and tired, or because they got hurt, or because they were born that way.

Your Uncle Jerod talked to mom and dad, and wants you to call her Aunt Kari now. We will call her Kari too, and we can all practice together if it takes some getting used to.

Anticipate age-appropriate fears the child might have so you can assuage those that are not a threat.

Yes, Kitty died at the vet, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not safe for Puppy to go to the vet.

Yes, Peyton and Jo are getting a divorce, but they are both still part of our family and love you very much.

Yes, Grandma has cancer, but cancer is not contagious, so you are not going to get cancer by visiting her.

Anticipate fears that are realistic, and give the child clear direction about what to do, and what happens next.

If someone asks you to get in their car without permission, find Mom, Mama, or a teacher and tell them right away. We will make sure you are safe.

If Sparky’s sickness makes him hurt very badly, we are going to take him to the vet and she will give him some medicine, and he will die, but then he won’t hurt any more. Because Sparky is very sick, we are going to spend some special time with him over the next few days.

If the fire alarm goes off at school again, follow the teacher’s directions. If the fire alarm goes off and you are somewhere alone, go outside, and ask a grownup to call 911.

Reassure the child that they’re safe and loved, validate their feelings, and see if they have follow-up questions. Give them the option to take space to process, or to stay near you to feel safe.

I’m sad about Sparky too. Do you think we could make his favorite peanut-butter treats, while we are spending special time with him?

I understand why Grandma’s cancer makes you feel angry. It doesn’t seem fair that people we love get sick. Would you like a hug?

You were worried about calling 911 if there’s not a grownup around. I wrote down some important things, like our address, and we can go over these together so you are ready if anything like that ever happens.

[sandersstudies]

These things are principally the job of the child’s parent or guardian, but in some cases directing the child to that caregiver is difficult or impossible (parent refuses/confuses the child, parent is absent, child’s questions are specific and relevant to a situation their parent was not present for, etc.) so I think all adults should be prepared to have these conversations with kids.

[fidelcostco]

WAIT HOLD ON I cannot fucking believe when I was like four years old my parents were cajoling me to walk with the family and trying to get me to keep up even though I kept insisting that I was "tired" until they took me to a doctor and found out my LUNGS DIDN'T WORK. how insane that we live in a world where reasonably loving parents think their FOUR YEAR OLD is trying to be LAZY. like they were mortified to be clear. adults are just so trained to ignore children's complaints as untrustworthy, kids just need discipline, they can't possibly speak for themselves. what the fuuuuck.

[fidelcostco]

YOU ARE NOT IMMUNE BTW you should always be trying to take children seriously, especially very little ones but definitely all of them. the most disempowered class basically legally defined as property and most people are like "yeah that's good actually I hate when they Loiter lol they're stupid and loud and i actually think children should stop existing. restrict their personhood more actually"

[daysleftofsecondterm]

Beautiful, you don’t HAVE to forgive them. You just can’t ridicule them after leaving for being “tainted” or “evil” or whatever the acceptable word is now. Do not punish the behaviour you want to see.

“But they should’ve known sooner” and we should’ve known sooner that Destiel was never gonna meaningfully happen outside of queerbaiting, what’s your point?

“I never want them near me” that’s fine, but you do realize to insult them, YOU have to get near THEM, right? Wouldn’t it be more conducive to what you want to just leave each other alone?

“What if one of them tries to approach me?” Then you block them online, or you keep the conversation clinical and polite irl. You do NOT take time out of your day to berate them for their old views. Your mother raised you better than that.

[jame-dumb]

Preserving these tags, they're very correct

[llamaking]

I would reblog this one million times if I could

[daysleftofsecondterm]

As a matter of fact you can!

[ink-in-hand]

This is fundamentally how cults WORK, btw

Villainize outsiders, which can look different depending on the cult, make everything an us vs them situation. And then when those outsiders show themselves to be hostile (doesn't matter why) the cult is proven right all along on one of their foundational messages

[maddys-kreative-korner]

The more I try to discuss adultism and the ways in which we treat children and how it affects them the more I am forced to realize that wow you people genuinely don't see children as human beings.

[apostateoverrubies]

Adults wanna hate on kids so bad. They get mad at kids for being illiterate, having short-attention spans and giving into consumerism. But when you look at those same adults, not only are they guilty of those exact things but they refuse to share much better things from their past with kids because they're more concerned with feeling superior.

These kinds of adults make me sick. They don't try to make the world a better place for future generations and would rather blame the children for being victims of a society that continues to fail them.

And this is coming from a generation that should know better. It pisses me off so much.

[swamp-spirit]

The real horror of a Stepford Wives situation isn't 'the suburbs are creepy' or even 'conformity is creepy' or 'I don't wanna be replaced by a robot'

The horror is the idea that you might choose to spend your life with somebody only to realize they don't actually want a partner and friend, somebody with ambitions and thoughts and joy. They want somebody productive, compliant, and sexually available, and all your internal life is nothing but a barrier to that. That the person you love only loves what you do for them, and the less of the an actual person you are, the happier they are.

[emmettmccartycullen]

#neverforget the time that Bella wore a full length khaki skirt to meet Edward’s family and he basically lost it because he thought she looked so sexy

[rosaliesgay]

the mormon really jumps out in this paragraph

[shiny-haunters-deactivated20181]

[bisexualalicecullen]

smeyer has a khaki fetish

[creature-wizard]

Saw somebody claiming some atheists literally worship money. Do they really now? Can you show me some atheists praying to money? Can you show me their money churches? Their little personal money altars where they burn little money offerings?

[bluestockingbaby]

[crippled-peeper]

from an ecological standpoint, “god made the world to be used, because it is disposable” is one of the most terrifying Christian nationalist beliefs