A

ayo gg

[solradguy]

Going to the library tomorrow to find out if I'm allowed to print hypothetical boobs for the GG copybook I wanna do

[solradguy]

Libraries don't fuck around when it comes to copyright law

[splattergutz]

i feel like i’m cursed forever but other than that i’m doing alright

[turnipfritters]

[sailermoon]

this is how new yorkers @ mamdani

[sailermoon]

[crabanarchy]

They say ooooh be a good boy for daddy and you'll get a reward. But then the reward is just gay sex. This is bullshit. I wanted a skateboard

[crabanarchy]

Then they say if you're a bad boy daddy will punish you. But what's the punishment? More gay sex! You can't escape it. This whole damn place is in the pocket of Big Sex

[calidotgov-deactivated20240108]

congratulations piracy

[livefromtheloam]

Ad agency: Please don't steal the King's potatoes, no matter how easy it is.

Regular people: Wait, the King has easily stolen potatoes? How do I get in on this?

Internet users who have been stealing potatoes for years: We made a machine that picks so many potatoes and also that machine is free. Enjoy!

[commandtower-solring-go]

Ad agency: you wouldn't steal a movie?

10 year old me with 0 income and no movie: YOU CAN STEAL MOVIES????

[can-i-make-image-descriptions]

[Image ID: Headline from IFLScience reading: "You Wouldn't Steal a Movie" Advert May Have Led To More People Stealing Movies /End ID]

[geekysteven]

[teaboot]

Fun fact! Both the music and the font in that ad were incorrectly sourced and did not provide compensation to the creators

[giragirameganedan]

dreamt that itch.io released their own special adaptable accessible super thin flexible silicon game controller called the Butterfly you could also fuck (they packaged each one with lube and toy cleaner) but there was no specific obvious way you were supposed to fuck it they encouraged everyone to find their own special unique way to fuck it. and they ran these ads for it that were different people from all walks of life saying what they do with it . sunburned rural dad who folds it hotdog style and jacks off into it. biracial masc lesbian with undercut who tribs with the joystick. young amputee in wheelchair who lets it vibrate on his lap while he works on his novel. etc. beautiful supermodel woman whos like "and me? i just game. hard." it ended with them all triumphantly saying into the camera "and thats how *I* fuck #MyButterfly"

[anythings-a-sweet-if-you-eat-it]

boring take from real 21st century idiots: bdsm is bad because it's basically torture

interesting take from a fictional 14th century monk: torture is bad because it's basically sex

[forthegothicheroine]

Miss Manners is adding denouncing political correctness to her list of conversational prefaces from which no good ever follows. When people announce that they plan to abandon the rules of civilized discourse, they should be taken seriously. The response should be "Well, if you are in favor of being offensive, I'd rather not hear more."

Judith Martin, Minding Miss Manners In an Era of Fake Etiquette

[mossdftba]

#why on earth should I have a polite conversation with you

#when you've just said you don't want to be polite????

[gasteracanthacancriformis]

have i ever shown u people my hand sofa

[gasteracanthacancriformis]

my prized possession is this loveseat I bought from a divorced dad who couldn’t tell me anything about it and in the years i’ve owned it i’ve never been able to find out who made it or where it came from. it’s got nails and finger creases and palm lines but they’re all kinda hard to see in this pic.

[sepdet]

[emeraldwhale]

[kleefkruid]

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

[animentality]

[coldgoldlazarus]

[teaboot]

Bruh

[godfrey-the-chaos-duck]

we'd need a MASSIVE ball of yarn though

[teaboot]

do yall want out of the torment nexus or nah

[foldingfittedsheets]

I’m covering a different store today and it’s got some pros and cons.

Pros:

Carpeted

Has a window wall that looks out onto several trees which is a lovely vibe

Carries some beds my store doesn’t

Cons:

There’s a scent machine I can’t find fugging up the air with a perfume I’m allergic to

A nearby business appears to be breeding or perhaps battling pterodactyls and there’s a faint near constant sound of eldritch screaming coming through under the music.

[foldingfittedsheets]

New theory:

The business next store is not for humans

It is instead full of thousands of furious parakeets that are possibly battling for supremacy and creating a nonstop cacophony of bloodlust

[foldingfittedsheets]

Final result:

The building next door is in fact a Tae Kwon Do studio and it’s full of furiously screaming children which when filtered through a thin wall and corporate music sounds identical to 1000 parakeets/pterodactyls

[foldingfittedsheets]

[teaboot]

Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system

[teaboot]

(Average Metropolis reader after investigative reporter C. Kent's 452nd article on yet another case of landlords/business owners/factories' continued use of lead pipes/paint/gas/glass knowingly exposing the public to dangerously toxic lead levels) what the fuck happened to this guy

[teaboot]

One day Bruce Wayne mentions in an interview that heroes like Superman are overrated, as the most effective way to reduce crime is to provide public resources and improve local infrastructure, then cites how neighboring city Metropolis has effectively lowered their violent crime by 13% after addressing their outdated water system and investing low income housing. the reporter conducting the interview suddenly starts looking a little uncomfortable

[teaboot]

To be clear, Clark is still a fantastic investigative reporter. He still has to track down the sources to prove all this shit

[teaboot]

"Who, Clark Kent? Yeah, we're pretty sure he's a Meta. Is he a superhero? Like what, "Lead-detector guy"? "Captain pipes?" Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and it's a handy trick, but it's lead detection, not laser vision. He's not about to go running around in tights any time soon."

[sindri42]

I just love the idea of a cape maintaining their secret identity by pretending to be a completely different and less impressive kind of parahuman.

[roach-works]

everyone assumes that kent is so squirrely around superheros because he’s just desperately hoping not to be conscripted to the JLA to fix their plumbing

[teaboot]

Local Metropolis Reporter Publically Recognized For Contributions To The City; Awarded Medal Of Distinction

[championofdnd]

They tried to get superman to present the medal but he was offended at being called "overrated" in comparison to Clark so he declined

[teaboot]

Counter offer: Bruce Wayne disguised as Superman

[teaboot]

beating this dead horse with memes

[everythingismadeofchaos]

Hey this was a real fun little read. It's so great to find these treasures on this site

[teaboot]

We’re happy to have you!

[marian-devotee]

I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

[marian-devotee]

My little brother insisted if I was going to post about him, he wanted a cut of the "profits". When I explained to him that Tumblr isn't monetized, and is pretty pointless, he and my older brother pointed out that he'd still be bringing me "fame and notoriety" if the post got "big". So we agreed, if the post hit 10k notes, which seemed extremely farfetched and silly at the time, I'd take my little brother out for sushi (his favorite food) and let him eat as much as he wants.

I guess God wanted the little robot to enjoy some sushi 🍣 🥲

[thetruerarkher]

[charl0ttan]

dog i gotta move like yesterday

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I was tidying up a room, and right in the middle of it I saw a massive grandfather clock. At some point I noticed it had the AO3 symbol on it, so obviously I decided to take a picture and post it on Tumblr.

Except I accidentally captioned it, “guys check this out, I’ve got the one and only AO3 grandfather cock.”

I realized immediately, but by the time I reblogged it with “CLOCK” in all caps, it was too late. It had already done numbers on this hellsite.

[lakeside-paradise]

#mygrandfathercock

[dreamweirder]

[falsetactic]

how it feels to read self insert/xreader fics of any media that follow the canon plot line

[infectiouspiss]

if i was a youtuber i wouldn't be taking sponsorships from stuff like audible or honey i'd be reaching out to babybel to ask if i can be paid in cheese to hype them up