Ardenla

I write short horror stories. https://www.wattpad.com/user/Ardenla Royal Road: https://www.royalroad.com/profile/666383

[marymaryrosemarx]

Emergency Commissions

Being 100% honest I'm getting a teeny bit desperate, so if you want to help this Queer this pride month, DM me for the commission info form link, more details bellow.

Last August I got fired from my previous job, due to both burnout and focusing on helping my partner heal from an arm injury.

I applied for welfare several times, of which I have the right to, but got denied my requests several times. According to a friend who used to work at social security, that is most likely an active action from them to stop immigrants from getting welfare.

So now, due to a double charge on my CSP subscription (it is being checked), I have no longer savings.

So, I'm not used to have or do commissions online. But I hope this reaches enough people so that I can at least get some traction going until I get my next job.

Word of mouth is the most effective way to get any help, so, if you know anyone who'd like some art from the kind of freaky of stuff I do, don't be afraid to recommend me.

[marymaryrosemarx]

Now with form! https://forms.gle/xa6mGZBsvGT3Vmnx6

[ardenla]

Hi, I hope you're all doing well!

At the moment I'm having some introvert struggles and thought in order for you to learn a little bit more about me, it would be interesting to share and ask the following.

I'm a student (24, so not that young anymore, but am enjoying my studies), trying to find a side job that will keep me. Recently, the job I had been working, decided to let me go and find someone else. It was customer service and so mostly behind the counter, but informing people about what's around was also very important (I love history and love to talk about it, so I thought it was a win).

I do find it difficult to talk to strangers, but I decided to challenge myself and try it anyway (I've been trying to get more out of my comfort zone lately).

Personally I did get the feeling I did much better than I initially expected, even with having to switch between 3 different languages constantly. Unfortunately for me the ones in charge did not share that thought.

So my question: does anyone maybe have tips or ideas for other jobs that are more introvert proof? Or just overall tips to improve my social skills?

I don't have any difficulties with making and keeping friends, but small talk is really not my thing and after being social for too long I'm often in need of recharging, something which can take pretty long.

I would also love to hear your experiences with this if you want to talk about it:)

[jay-wasreblogging]

Hiiii!!, Hope you been doing well too

First off, fuck that job for doing you dirty like that also 24 is youngggg!! You didn't even really gain consciousness of your life until like 5, the fact you had a job that you loved and did well in is amazing.

I wouldn't have realised you found it difficult to speak to strangers since I'm a stranger (in my head we pen pals which is like levels above strangers but lets just say it for conversation sake) and we've had a couple of talks.

You speak quite well and ik you probably were talking about in real life talks but talking on social media can help you engage socially in your personal life because of the fact that you have so many diverse options of people to speak to and you usually have to wait which is good practice for thinking before speaking.

3 LANGUAGES!?! YESSSS!!! WE LOVE THAT FOR YOUUU!!! THATS SO COOL!!!

Tips and ideas for jobs I guess I would sayyy desk jobs, IT jobs, Council cleaners, translation jobs, warehouse pick packers, factory hand, food factory, museum receptionists or those cultural exhibit guide people?? Ohhh also night time security where if smt does happen u call police they dont want u to get involved cause youre just there to report stuff u know?? I apologise I also wouldn't know 😭

Social skills, when you go out for coffee or buying clothes (when its not busy) talk with the person at the register!! Ask how their day/shift has been and then tell them why you got the coffee or clothes you have like:

'How has your shift been?...Ohhhh yeah that sounds hectic/alright...I came by cause i really wanted to get this and....thank you!!'

either they will engage in conversation with you or just answer quite quickly/blunt which will help you in handling these awkward social situations.

Social isn't just you talking to them but can also be you listening, nodding with a smile or making eye contact with little comments of 'whattt?', 'oh yeah' and 'i see but wait what about-' will have the other person continue whilst you can just listen on. I usually just:

:)) mhm, yeah nice!! thats good.

kinda like how you speak with children haha, its really nice to hear people talk on things they like enthusiastically.

All up to you because everyone's different but I hope I helped maybe?? 😭 ANYWAYS HAVE A GOOD ONEEEEE!!!

[ardenla]

Hi, Thank you so much!!!

I honestly hadn't hought about translator or security yet, so I will look into them:)

Those tips will come in handy too.

PEN PALLS!

I wish you a good one too:)

[palatablepain]

Hi sweetie tumblrina friend mutual. (The extra-friendly greeting because after reading your post I feel compassion.)

Anyway, I don't know the circumstances under which you were let go/fired, but I do know that in my experience lots of people are let go not because they are doing a bad job but because the company just was indifferent to their fates.

For one, many companies hire people and then fire them on purpose before being legally required to provide insurance or higher wages. Another is that companies don't actually look at their employee's eagerness and diligence at all. I don't know why or how exactly this works. All I know is that the best, most caring and competent people I know have been let go or had to leave jobs while people who were less so got hired to stay and get raises while doing less work. In my country it's often nepotism and cutting financial corners unethically. In other countries, it's aggressively stupid things such as physical appearance. Pretty much everywhere AI has taken jobs and raised the cost of living, which shuts down small businesses and jobs.

All I know about you suggests to me that you actually are great at communicating and following directives, and are highly motivated to succeed. So I don't believe getting fired has anything to do with introversion and you yourself.

If I'm misunderstanding the circumstances or if you want to work on introversion anyway, I guess I'd say that social talking on a job or at a party is often repetitive and not based in emotion. It's more about a script of shallow things about yourself, basic enjoyments of your interlocutors, and small events about town such as sports and weather. It's exhausting for introverts, but at least there doesn't actually have to be much people-reading or any emotional investment. It's usually just about helping the customer feel comfortable while helping them get what they need.

Recently small talk I've made includes asking someone if they like where they live (is there much traffic? is the commute nice or difficult?) and what they like about certain products (do you prefer this model based on past experiences? what was a handy feature of a model that their friends used?) 🙃

[ardenla]

Hi, thank you for your kind words:)

When I had just gotten fired I kinda felt like I was unable to do anything at all, but that was mostly the exhaustion from school talking.

A couple of months ago I did do this theatre thing I enjoy doing (honestly it's just playing dead and scaring people haha) and after that went incredibly well I regained most of my confidence.

Still thanks again for caring:)

[ardenla]

Growing up

I've been way too busy lately and finally found some time to share a quick story I wrote.

Unlike most of my work, this is not horror, though it can have slighly creepy moments.

I hope it's enjoyable:)

Word count: 1384

“Olli, it’s time.”

“Time for….?” I ask my mother questioningly.

She shakes her head: “We talked about this dear, you’ll be thirteen soon, it’s time to go through your stuff.

I feel my heart sink and stomp up my feet: “But you know I don’t want to!”

“C’ome on, Tessa is going to do it as well and Jaimy has already done it. You know the reward.”

I look towards the trash bag in her hands and cross my arms: “But I’m different from them.”

“Gosh, would it kill you to be a little more like them? Just to be a little easier?” The words came out agitated and tired. I know she’s been working hard, but really why can’t I keep my stuff?

She notices the look on my face and then without another word, drops the bag on the floor and leaves my room.

I look at it, it’s an ordinary trash bag.

I smell it, it smells gross.

Is this where everything will end up in at the end?

I let my gaze wander through my room and I remember a conversation I had with Tessa. Although it was much more one-sided to be called that.

“You know, when I get rid of my old toys my parents will get me a laptop!” She seemed excited, but I could only look at her like she was crazy.

Then the last time I met Jaimy, something in his eyes seemed to have changed: “We all need to grow up one time or another, better do it quick.”

Just what is wrong with these people?!

About a year ago, we would take our stuffed animals and played out various scenarios.

They were heroes, they were adventures and with them being like that we were the same.

They were our best friends, a way to show each other how we really felt, our own language only we could use.

To throw out what they once loved so much…

This shows me just how different I really am from them, because unlike them, I just can’t.

But with mom like this and now all other people expecting me to become an adult, will I have to hide it all? Hide the fact that inside I’m still a child?

Like dig a hole and return to it when I am old enough to hide it within my own house? That ‘later’, will I even be me at that point at all?

Slowly I get up on my feet.

Am I really going to do this?

Step by step I get closer to the chest carrying most of my stuffed animals.

“Olli…”

I look around where the whisper came from, but don’t see anyone at all.

I stop to see if someone is under my bed, but there’s no one there.

I open my closet, but that too is free from people.

And I was so sure I heard someone calling my name…

“Olli!”

It’s louder.

It sounds like it’s behind something, perhaps even inside something…

The chest.

I’m sure, it’s coming from there.

I hasten my step and throw it open…

But it’s empty.

Or at least… it looks to be…?

There’s a strange shadow hanging at the bottom.

Then as if floating in water I see one of the paws of mister bear appear, immediately I try to catch it, but as it sinks again I lose my footing and fall over into the wooden chest.

It’s too dark to see and I blindly try to find my stuffed toy, but it only feels cold.

.

.

.

There’s laughing… giggling.

Talking, but not in a good way, sounding more like gossip. You know that tone of speech.

Suddenly something heavy approaches and then opens the chest.

It’s one of my toys. The only doll I own.

She’s so much bigger than me and stares down at me with her painted face.

“D-dolly…?”

The doll rolls her plastic eyes: “I guess it was nothing.” And closes the lid again.

“Wait!!!” I yell as loud as I can and I finally see some of the other stuffed animals look down at me from above.

“You’ve been enticed to get rid of us, so you have no right to be here with us.” Dolly tells me angrily.

I shake my head: “No, not at all! I really don’t want that!”

Instead of taking me for my word she sneers: “Yeah, right as if we’d believe something like that. We heard you, you know. You’ll just throw us away last minute, like trash.”

She’s ready to throw the lid shut, but is stopped by mister bear. The one who’s been with me my whole life.

Dolly struggles: “This child doesn’t accept us as real anymore, you of all should know.”

But instead of siding with the doll, he reaches out one of his big, soft paws towards me and helps me get out of the toybox.

Now I can see the room better.

All furniture has been replaced by the ones I have for my toys, all bigger as if real.

The walls look worn, the wallpaper is peeling, a spider has taken home in one of the corners.

“You’ve been neglecting us.” Dolly protests putting her hands on her hips: “You’ve already been playing less and less with us.”

“I’m sorry.” I apologize: “School has gotten busier, I really wanted to though. I wanted to give you even more adventures.” I try to smile at them, but it doesn’t work.

I too am exhausted.

Since when had life gotten about learning from books, instead of playing outside?

Since when did life cost so much more energy?

“Please, Olli, let’s go outside for a bit.” Mister bear offers, trying to get me away from the angry doll and other protesting stuffed animals who have gotten at least twice my size.

We walk through my house, but everything is different, it looks like it’s all about to fall apart, at some places planks have been nailed to keep the building standing. And just like in my room, all the furniture has been either removed or replaced with doll house objects.

As mister bear opens the door it shows something even far picturesque than the real thing.

It looks decaying, like it’s being eaten, swallowed, by a million little creatures.

Left to rot.

This… is not my fault… is it?

Before us is a huge, dying tree.

It’s a tree I know in real life, a tree who, there, is much smaller.

“Why…?” I ask, unable to finish a sentence.

A warm paw rests on my shoulder: “This is not your fault, this just happens with time.”

I shake my head: “But I don’t want this to happen, you’re all my friends!”

“And we will always be yours.”

“But mom wants me to get rid of you! She doesn’t stop talking about it, trying to make me think like her, like everyone else!”

The bear bows down to me to come eye to eye to me.

I stare into his beady eyes.

“You won’t be, there will always be a part of you that remains the same.”

Before I know it tears are streaming down my face: “Mister bear, I’m scared… I’m scared to grow up.”

“You don’t have to.”

I look up at my friend in surprise.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean it, like I mean it. You don’t need to.”

I shake my head, for the first time I don’t know at all what he’s talking about, he smiles gently and with his big, yet soft paw pets me on the head: “Unlike you might believe, adults don’t know everything.”

“Just because you let go of the objects in your house, doesn’t mean it will take away your fantasy with it.”

I shake my head: “I don’t care about that!”

I take a peak at the stuffed bear and see it smile warmly.

“Olli, just because you might let go of me some day, doesn’t mean we had a falling out. After all we will always be together. I promised to watch over you.”

I blink and find myself back in my room, a place which has turned back to normal, a place which is clean and not falling apart anymore.

I stare at the object my mom left behind and slowly I start packing my stuff, one by one I wish them goodbye, but I make sure to keep some behind.

Lastly in my hands is mister bear, with his beady eyes he looks at me, almost as if to say ‘It’s okay’. But despite what he might think I won’t let him go, he’s always been there for me and has always been with me.

I embrace him and push away the trash bag.

“You’re staying with me.” I whisper while hugging my friend.

[palatablepain]

I found this story unutterably sad.

I don't usually read fiction that is sad, because it makes me feel bad, BUT this doesn't make me feel bad as much as it makes me feel ... awe for the world.

This story reminds me of another genre I don't often read or enjoy called magical realism BUT again it does its own lovely little thing and I think it's really cool.

What affected me most was the beginning because parents' bribing their kids to get rid of their deep emotional attachments that first stirred not only their imaginations but their understandings of meaning and loyalty ... that's just, I don't know, evil, maybe?

But it's an element of structure that hits that magical realism plot point, where, yeah, it doesn't happen often, at least in my culture, but the spirit of it is there.

Getting rid of toys and childhood identity is expected at some point quite often, even if it isn't that dramatic. Some parents get concerned that having too many toys by the time one is 18 is a sign of "arrested development."

Personally, my parents bullied me even when I was a kid for liking certain brands of toy that they viewed as stupid and amoral, such as barbies. Barbies were too ... popular. I mean, they disliked the disproportionality of the bodies and said they were concerned about whether barbies would give me bad self-image, but watching my dad interact with a middle-aged neighbor who was his elder, he demeaningly said that he himself wasn't into "trends." The lady laughed and reiterated that she was, not realizing that dad's sentiment was one that showed up as a mere petty defiance at the dinner table but in parenting parenting as a way to separate his daughter out from common people.

That neighbor never found out that my parents were bad, partially because she wanted to believe the best, and partially because my parents nodded and smiled at her while they yelled and modified us. Their children were extensions of their own identities. So we had to grow up the way they were -- i.e. never actually grow up with our own identities, preferences, and abilities to make decisions based on our own desires. That gave us crippling anxiety and hesitancy over words.

What I'm seeing in this story you wrote, Ardenla, is that your protagonist is willing to grow up with an identity that stems from integrating her own primal loves into the rest of her. And that's true adulthood. This story for me isn't about sentimentality. It raises strong emotions, beliefs, and interpretations of my own experiences in me. I think that's really incredible. You did so much in so few words. ✨️🧸🌳

I think that parents should realize that a child's having loyalty towards toys is a usually a sign that a child is good and has a healthy emotional life.

Children who are deprived of toys are psychologically damaged because they go through the years of developmental stages without the tools to learn about the world and themselves. If there's a sense of continuity between the developmental stages, that can help to retain the lessons learned and skills gained ... Communication. Stability. Emotional regulation. Decision-making. Imagination. Critical thinking. Moral compass. Ethics. Compassion.

[ardenla]

Thank you for the kind words:)

When I wrote this story I was reminiscing about the past.

Back when I was around 11 years old a friend of mine told me happily that she was getting rid of all of her old toys and that (like in the story) her parents would get her a laptop. I still remember how strange that felt and it wasn't just her, plenty of other kids started getting rid of their 'childish' stuff and almost desperately get ready for adulthood.

Back then it scared me, that (to them atleast) to grow up is to throw away your oldest friends. Even if they got sold to other kids who might take good care of them, it did, like you said, feel like betrayal.

Damn, that about your parent bullying you as a kid for liking stuff that is meant to be liked by kids hits hard. Honestly I think some of those things they said about it, might be things they came up with after already dissaproving of it.

For me it took a while for my parents to start worrying, I got my last doll at 15. I remember that it started feeling weird to collect them around 13. I would go to the store one time with my hard saved up money for the one I wanted for a while, but when I was by the checkout I got scared. Still the lady behind the counter was really nice and was like 'It's a good thing to give yourself gift sometimes.'

Sometimes people, but especially parents, have way to high expectations for (their) kids and don't allow them to really be kids at all. It can be scary the amount of little adults you see walking around sometimes, from clothes to speech...

I wonder some times if those kids will grow up into healty adults with their own minds, or just into the idealised version of their parents.

Palatablepain, I hope things are better for you now. What did did to you is unaccaptable.

I personally think you're an amazing person and have become someone who's brave and can speak their mind.

Thank you for sharing your story:)

Thank you again for reading this, the fact that it touched you, makes me really proud to have written it.

[ardenla]

Growing up

I've been way too busy lately and finally found some time to share a quick story I wrote.

Unlike most of my work, this is not horror, though it can have slighly creepy moments.

I hope it's enjoyable:)

Word count: 1384

“Olli, it’s time.”

“Time for….?” I ask my mother questioningly.

She shakes her head: “We talked about this dear, you’ll be thirteen soon, it’s time to go through your stuff.

I feel my heart sink and stomp up my feet: “But you know I don’t want to!”

“C’ome on, Tessa is going to do it as well and Jaimy has already done it. You know the reward.”

I look towards the trash bag in her hands and cross my arms: “But I’m different from them.”

“Gosh, would it kill you to be a little more like them? Just to be a little easier?” The words came out agitated and tired. I know she’s been working hard, but really why can’t I keep my stuff?

She notices the look on my face and then without another word, drops the bag on the floor and leaves my room.

I look at it, it’s an ordinary trash bag.

I smell it, it smells gross.

Is this where everything will end up in at the end?

I let my gaze wander through my room and I remember a conversation I had with Tessa. Although it was much more one-sided to be called that.

“You know, when I get rid of my old toys my parents will get me a laptop!” She seemed excited, but I could only look at her like she was crazy.

Then the last time I met Jaimy, something in his eyes seemed to have changed: “We all need to grow up one time or another, better do it quick.”

Just what is wrong with these people?!

About a year ago, we would take our stuffed animals and played out various scenarios.

They were heroes, they were adventures and with them being like that we were the same.

They were our best friends, a way to show each other how we really felt, our own language only we could use.

To throw out what they once loved so much…

This shows me just how different I really am from them, because unlike them, I just can’t.

But with mom like this and now all other people expecting me to become an adult, will I have to hide it all? Hide the fact that inside I’m still a child?

Like dig a hole and return to it when I am old enough to hide it within my own house? That ‘later’, will I even be me at that point at all?

Slowly I get up on my feet.

Am I really going to do this?

Step by step I get closer to the chest carrying most of my stuffed animals.

“Olli…”

I look around where the whisper came from, but don’t see anyone at all.

I stop to see if someone is under my bed, but there’s no one there.

I open my closet, but that too is free from people.

And I was so sure I heard someone calling my name…

“Olli!”

It’s louder.

It sounds like it’s behind something, perhaps even inside something…

The chest.

I’m sure, it’s coming from there.

I hasten my step and throw it open…

But it’s empty.

Or at least… it looks to be…?

There’s a strange shadow hanging at the bottom.

Then as if floating in water I see one of the paws of mister bear appear, immediately I try to catch it, but as it sinks again I lose my footing and fall over into the wooden chest.

It’s too dark to see and I blindly try to find my stuffed toy, but it only feels cold.

.

.

.

There’s laughing… giggling.

Talking, but not in a good way, sounding more like gossip. You know that tone of speech.

Suddenly something heavy approaches and then opens the chest.

It’s one of my toys. The only doll I own.

She’s so much bigger than me and stares down at me with her painted face.

“D-dolly…?”

The doll rolls her plastic eyes: “I guess it was nothing.” And closes the lid again.

“Wait!!!” I yell as loud as I can and I finally see some of the other stuffed animals look down at me from above.

“You’ve been enticed to get rid of us, so you have no right to be here with us.” Dolly tells me angrily.

I shake my head: “No, not at all! I really don’t want that!”

Instead of taking me for my word she sneers: “Yeah, right as if we’d believe something like that. We heard you, you know. You’ll just throw us away last minute, like trash.”

She’s ready to throw the lid shut, but is stopped by mister bear. The one who’s been with me my whole life.

Dolly struggles: “This child doesn’t accept us as real anymore, you of all should know.”

But instead of siding with the doll, he reaches out one of his big, soft paws towards me and helps me get out of the toybox.

Now I can see the room better.

All furniture has been replaced by the ones I have for my toys, all bigger as if real.

The walls look worn, the wallpaper is peeling, a spider has taken home in one of the corners.

“You’ve been neglecting us.” Dolly protests putting her hands on her hips: “You’ve already been playing less and less with us.”

“I’m sorry.” I apologize: “School has gotten busier, I really wanted to though. I wanted to give you even more adventures.” I try to smile at them, but it doesn’t work.

I too am exhausted.

Since when had life gotten about learning from books, instead of playing outside?

Since when did life cost so much more energy?

“Please, Olli, let’s go outside for a bit.” Mister bear offers, trying to get me away from the angry doll and other protesting stuffed animals who have gotten at least twice my size.

We walk through my house, but everything is different, it looks like it’s all about to fall apart, at some places planks have been nailed to keep the building standing. And just like in my room, all the furniture has been either removed or replaced with doll house objects.

As mister bear opens the door it shows something even far picturesque than the real thing.

It looks decaying, like it’s being eaten, swallowed, by a million little creatures.

Left to rot.

This… is not my fault… is it?

Before us is a huge, dying tree.

It’s a tree I know in real life, a tree who, there, is much smaller.

“Why…?” I ask, unable to finish a sentence.

A warm paw rests on my shoulder: “This is not your fault, this just happens with time.”

I shake my head: “But I don’t want this to happen, you’re all my friends!”

“And we will always be yours.”

“But mom wants me to get rid of you! She doesn’t stop talking about it, trying to make me think like her, like everyone else!”

The bear bows down to me to come eye to eye to me.

I stare into his beady eyes.

“You won’t be, there will always be a part of you that remains the same.”

Before I know it tears are streaming down my face: “Mister bear, I’m scared… I’m scared to grow up.”

“You don’t have to.”

I look up at my friend in surprise.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean it, like I mean it. You don’t need to.”

I shake my head, for the first time I don’t know at all what he’s talking about, he smiles gently and with his big, yet soft paw pets me on the head: “Unlike you might believe, adults don’t know everything.”

“Just because you let go of the objects in your house, doesn’t mean it will take away your fantasy with it.”

I shake my head: “I don’t care about that!”

I take a peak at the stuffed bear and see it smile warmly.

“Olli, just because you might let go of me some day, doesn’t mean we had a falling out. After all we will always be together. I promised to watch over you.”

I blink and find myself back in my room, a place which has turned back to normal, a place which is clean and not falling apart anymore.

I stare at the object my mom left behind and slowly I start packing my stuff, one by one I wish them goodbye, but I make sure to keep some behind.

Lastly in my hands is mister bear, with his beady eyes he looks at me, almost as if to say ‘It’s okay’. But despite what he might think I won’t let him go, he’s always been there for me and has always been with me.

I embrace him and push away the trash bag.

“You’re staying with me.” I whisper while hugging my friend.

[ardenla]

City of eternal life

I hope you're all doing well,

I just finished another short horror story.

This one is a bit more sci-fi than most, but hey I enjoyed writing it:)

TW: Gore

Word count: 2197

A cold snowflake greets the warm skin of my face, melting immediately.

I ignore the sensation and look forward instead, just like the rest of my group.

“Holy shit! The legends did have some truth in them!” Jess yells over the howling wind.

David shakes his head: “I’ve been telling you this a thousand times! This is the whole reason for this expedition.” He can’t contain his excitement.

I look at the snow-covered ruins.

The ice must have caused the whole city to have been frozen in time, so research should go smoothly.

I can hear my group rejoice.

I know I should too, but something about it is off…

Something about it makes my thoughts and words jumble together in a way I’ve never had happen before.

The buildings… They’re familiar to me…

My head fills itself with shapes and colours, not known, no… I do know…

“I’m sorry ma’am, it doesn’t seem like your child will remember.”

I’m at the doctors’ and my mother embraces me tightly: “Oh no…” She whispers in a worried tone.

Every word spoken are the things I worried about, but also already knew the answer to.

I’m not like the people here.

Not like my mother.

Not like my friends.

Not even like my neighbour.

I’m an anomaly.

Perhaps disabled even in a world like this.

There’s something everyone here but me has, something that makes my life so much more difficult.

I don’t remember my past life.

For centuries this city has survived this way.

Mistakes are something only made by the children who don’t remember and I guess me, an adult without memories.

There are no wars, no fights, just peaceful life in which everyone remembers and doesn’t have to learn anything anymore. The people are almost all knowing, having at times completely specialised at one thing or had enough time to try everything.

I guess the chances of me getting a proper job is almost zero now… And I already struggled to keep up with school.

Why? Just why me of all people?!

I try so hard to fit in, but I’m always on the outside, never able to be a part of anything.

The last bit of hope has melted and dried.

In complete silence we all leave the bright white building behind, I wave my mother goodbye and head towards my friend's house. Honestly I don’t really feel up to it, but I promised.

“How did it go?” My friend asks, without putting down the book he’s reading.

I can’t help but sigh.

Rudy finally looks up: “That doesn’t sound good.”

I shake my head: “Nope. I don’t think I will ever remember.”

“Damn…”

“Yeah, say that. I tried everything, hypnosis, medical observations, operations…”

He puts down his book and walks over to me, I already know what that look on his face means.

I wave my arm: “I know, I know, you’re just going to repeat that again.”

Still he continues: “What if it’s a good thing, this city could use newer people, newer ideas, newer souls.”

I shake my head: “No! You know no one needs that here. New is dangerous! I’ll never be accepted.”

“Ennis, you’re going to be fine.” He puts a hand on my shoulder, but I push it away.

“You just don’t get it!”

I remember the day when he got his memories. I used to be friends with him before that time. When I first met him he was very outgoing and we would often play sports together, but then one day he turned completely quiet and suddenly knew everything. He had been a scholar in his past life and had started remembering.

Part of me was horrified by the transformation, but another part was so terribly jealous.

Due to his change, he lost most of his friends, all except me. Deep down he should still be that kid after all, he still cares for me and we still do things together, just not sports anymore.

We couldn’t go to the same school afterwards, he soon went to a high university and got really busy. Still he made time to hang out with me.

After him my other friends would quickly change, but none as drastic as Rudy.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell.” I quickly respond.

Rudy smiles kindly “I know, would you still like to catch that lecture with me?”

“Yes, I do.”

After the lecture I get home tired.

There’s a girl much younger than me sitting on the couch knitting. Her hands are going fast and precise.

“Hi, grandma.” I wave at her.

“Ennis! Welcome back!” She smiles brightly: “I heard about it from your mother…”

“Yeah, I know.”

“It’s really unfortunate.”

“I know.”

“So, you’ve really tried everything now, haven’t you?”

I nod, keeping back my tears.

There hasn’t been any news about anyone like me, so I really am alone.

The next morning I feel terrible just sitting inside, so I decide to go visit Rudy again.

“Hey, you busy?”

Rudy welcomes me inside his house: “I still have a couple of hours to go until I have work, so please come in.”

I drop myself onto the couch.

It really sucks, without memories I will be forced to continue living with my family.

“Hey, Rudy?”

“Yes?” He hands me a cup of tea.

“Do you think I might have been someone before?”

My friend shrugs: “It’s really not bad to not have a before.”

“Still, at the moment I would even be okay with finding out I was a wanted criminal in my past life.”

Rudy laughs: “Like Jasper? He still has twenty more years to go in jail for what he did three lives ago.”

“At least I wouldn’t be an anomaly then.”

“Ennis, you simply couldn’t have done something like that. You’re too kind, you’re a good person, with or without a past.”

“So what do you think is going to happen now?”

“You will remain your true authentic self.”

Ugh… why does he always have to be like that?

I get up.

“Leaving already?”

I nod: “Sorry, I need to take a walk or something. Thanks for the tea.”

Rudy stands up and slowly walks me to the door, but just before he stops me.

“Ennis… It’s out now, the knowledge of you. Many people know.”

“Yeah, obviously.” I try to joke, but my friends' eyes look strange. Is that… fear?

“No, take this seriously. You will have to be much, much more careful from now on. Don’t trust others blindly and remain yourself.”

I’m a little startled by his sudden change in attitude and can’t seem to form a proper answer.

“Promise me that you will be careful.” I’ve never heard his voice sounding this stern.

“Promise me!” He half whispers and half yells.

“Yes, I promise.” I quickly answer, luckily it seems to calm him down a little and he finally allows me to leave.

He then presses a small knife into my hands, but doesn’t allow me to ask any questions: “Please, visit me again sometime.”

“I always do.”

“You better.”

I turn my back to him and take a walk through the city centre.

Past the stores much, much older than I will ever be.

Everyone is taking their time, a time I never had and never will have.

There’s a group of kids passing by, all dressed in uniform and acting all proper. It’s almost like people start remembering earlier every year.

Why couldn’t I be one of them?

To them, what am I?

An alien?

No… I guess an insect, especially one who doesn’t live as long.

I’ve gotten used to stares, especially from people I know and who know about me.

I spot an elderly man call a child ‘mother’ and a teen so skilled in painting it must have taken centuries to master.

Finally I stop and take a seat by the fountain.

The sound of running water calms me down.

Two men dressed like bouncers or perhaps bodyguards approach me.

Did I do something wrong?

“Are you Ennis?”

I’ve never gotten into too much trouble before. Yes, I’ve done dumb things as a child, but nothing illegal.

“Ah, yes, that’s me… Is something wrong?”

“You’ve been requested to visit the major.”

Me? I guess as an anomaly…

They take me to a black car and allow me to sit in the back.

I know better than to question the reason, but I’m really worried for some reason.

We drive towards the tallest building and we take the elevator to the top.

The two guards open the doors to the main office.

Not many people see this place from the inside, even when they live multiple lives.

“Good day.” An adolescence slightly younger than me greets me, signalling that I can take a seat opposite to him.

“G-good day…” I feel a hint of jealousy by his maturity. The man before me feels ageless.

“So, you’re Ennis.”

“Yes, that’s me.” I try to look brave, I bet he’s already read me completely.

“Don’t worry, you did nothing wrong.”

“Then why was I taken here?”

“I simply wanted to meet you.”

Meet me?

“I heard about you being unable to recall any past life.”

“That’s true.”

What am I? An animal in the zoo?

“You also know that it is quite dangerous to keep you here this way.”

I look away from his piercing gaze: “I know.”

“Do you want to remain this way?”

I shake my head in frustration: “No, of course not. I can’t work, I can’t buy a house and I can’t even finish school.”

He stands up: “Good, I think I can help you jog your memory.”

Something in his monotone voice makes me feel cold.

“Sir, I have already tried everything.”

“No, you haven’t. There’s still one way, but please promise me that you will keep this between the two of us.”

There is a way? Not just false hope again?

“Please, come with me.”

I follow him into another room.

It’s dark.

A light turns on, showing only a single chair.

“Take a seat.” He bows his head a little.

Vigilant I make my way towards the piece of furniture.

Wait… are those… leather straps?

I feel nauseous and hesitant.

Just what have I gotten myself into?

“Please, sit.”

I take a step away: “You know, maybe I-” but I’m not allowed to continue as I’m hit from behind.

I fall down onto my knees and the world turns dark.

My head hurts like hell.

I immediately open my eyes only to find myself strapped to the chair.

The room is now fully lit.

It’s filled with computers.

My heart beats in my throat…

Is this the secret…?

I look at some of the screens and see the truth before me.

My frozen hands have started tingling.

“Y-you…” I try to speak, but the words won’t come out. I wildly shake my head, this… please don’t let this be true…

“Ennis, are you scared?” The major smiles at me: “You should have known. This is the only way to make you better. Inserting a new brain implant… they would be grateful for your sacrifice.”

Shitshitshitshitshitshit!!!

The major approaches me with something that looks like a gun with a huge needle.

Right, the knife!

I try to get myself loose, but it’s all too tight. My hands are even turning red.

I curse loudly and the major just looks annoyed.

Suddenly the door opens.

My captor looks behind him: “Oh hello professor, what can I help you with. I am a bit busy.”

Someone steps into the light, someone I know really well.

Rudy.

…

“I assume you won’t let me do this?”

The major smirks: “No, I know you two are friends. And I also know that you are very loyal to those. After all, I've known you for centuries.”

A smile appears on my friend’s (?) face: “You know me too well.”

Then without another warning he pulls a gun and shoots the major point blank.

Blood and brains gush over the floor.

“Rudy?”

The face of the man who’s name I’m calling turns serious and he rushes towards me: “You have to get out of here!” He takes the knife out of my pocket and starts cutting the straps: “If you think he’s the only leader here trying to corrupt every new generation, you’re far from wrong!”

“So, it’s true?” I ask, meaning a lot more… this means… that everyone is dead.

When they ‘remember’, their original self gets wiped in order to fit the new person.

“I’m sorry Ennis.” He avoids my gaze.

“How did it come to this?”

This means Rudy too is dead.

This person before me is not that once sociable and sporty kid.

But, I do believe that he is my friend, whoever he might be.

I don’t get a response to my question.

I’m loose and immediately I get out of the chair.

“Now, run!” He orders and I run towards the doorway, but soldiers have already gathered there.

“Open fire!”

I can’t react fast enough, but my friend is and shields me.

There’s so much blood.

Is it mine?

Is it his?

Is it the majors?

I don’t know what happened, but I’m up and running again.

My hands brush over a computer, the most important looking one and I throw it.

It breaks.

Shatters into a thousand pieces, almost as if it was made out of glass.

One by one the soldiers look as if they're having a shared headache.

Then there’s a loud ‘Plop’.

Someone’s head just exploded.

The others follow soon.

All falling lifelessly to the ground.

For a moment I just stare at the bizarre sight.

Then I too start feeling a growing pain in my head.

Why?! Why did all of that have to happen?! Why did they kill them all? Did I really have to end it completely?

“Hey, you okay?” Jess takes me out of my reminiscing: “You’ve been silent for a very long time.” Looking around I find myself back in the cold, in the present, about 5 centuries after all that happened in that city.

Those machines should never be remade.

I have to make sure.

Slowly I turn to look at her and even though I want to cry, I smile: “Don’t worry, I’m fine.”

[ardenla]

Hi, I hope you're all doing well!

At the moment I'm having some introvert struggles and thought in order for you to learn a little bit more about me, it would be interesting to share and ask the following.

I'm a student (24, so not that young anymore, but am enjoying my studies), trying to find a side job that will keep me. Recently, the job I had been working, decided to let me go and find someone else. It was customer service and so mostly behind the counter, but informing people about what's around was also very important (I love history and love to talk about it, so I thought it was a win).

I do find it difficult to talk to strangers, but I decided to challenge myself and try it anyway (I've been trying to get more out of my comfort zone lately).

Personally I did get the feeling I did much better than I initially expected, even with having to switch between 3 different languages constantly. Unfortunately for me the ones in charge did not share that thought.

So my question: does anyone maybe have tips or ideas for other jobs that are more introvert proof? Or just overall tips to improve my social skills?

I don't have any difficulties with making and keeping friends, but small talk is really not my thing and after being social for too long I'm often in need of recharging, something which can take pretty long.

I would also love to hear your experiences with this if you want to talk about it:)

[jay-wasreblogging]

Hiiii!!, Hope you been doing well too

First off, fuck that job for doing you dirty like that also 24 is youngggg!! You didn't even really gain consciousness of your life until like 5, the fact you had a job that you loved and did well in is amazing.

I wouldn't have realised you found it difficult to speak to strangers since I'm a stranger (in my head we pen pals which is like levels above strangers but lets just say it for conversation sake) and we've had a couple of talks.

You speak quite well and ik you probably were talking about in real life talks but talking on social media can help you engage socially in your personal life because of the fact that you have so many diverse options of people to speak to and you usually have to wait which is good practice for thinking before speaking.

3 LANGUAGES!?! YESSSS!!! WE LOVE THAT FOR YOUUU!!! THATS SO COOL!!!

Tips and ideas for jobs I guess I would sayyy desk jobs, IT jobs, Council cleaners, translation jobs, warehouse pick packers, factory hand, food factory, museum receptionists or those cultural exhibit guide people?? Ohhh also night time security where if smt does happen u call police they dont want u to get involved cause youre just there to report stuff u know?? I apologise I also wouldn't know 😭

Social skills, when you go out for coffee or buying clothes (when its not busy) talk with the person at the register!! Ask how their day/shift has been and then tell them why you got the coffee or clothes you have like:

'How has your shift been?...Ohhhh yeah that sounds hectic/alright...I came by cause i really wanted to get this and....thank you!!'

either they will engage in conversation with you or just answer quite quickly/blunt which will help you in handling these awkward social situations.

Social isn't just you talking to them but can also be you listening, nodding with a smile or making eye contact with little comments of 'whattt?', 'oh yeah' and 'i see but wait what about-' will have the other person continue whilst you can just listen on. I usually just:

:)) mhm, yeah nice!! thats good.

kinda like how you speak with children haha, its really nice to hear people talk on things they like enthusiastically.

All up to you because everyone's different but I hope I helped maybe?? 😭 ANYWAYS HAVE A GOOD ONEEEEE!!!

[ardenla]

Hi, Thank you so much!!!

I honestly hadn't hought about translator or security yet, so I will look into them:)

Those tips will come in handy too.

PEN PALLS!

I wish you a good one too:)

[royaldeadqueen]

oh god, she tagged me

Ten People You Wish to Get to Know Better

tagged by: @adeliadrawstuff 🖤

last song: up n down x gods race remix lol

favorite color: black i do NOT WANNA HEAR IT

currently watching: the oldest view series on youtube

currently reading: … way to call out my reading slump thx (nothing)

current obsession: the 80s actually. YES AGAIN STFU

currently working on: OK I GET IT I’M LAZY JESUS (nothing) i promise i will try to get over my writing slump soon

last google search: texas tag (explanation: i got a really fucking bad scam text earlier today and it was hilarious actually)

tag: @riverphoenixsgothwife @thatgingernerdgirl @thanksicanthavegrapefruit @pointbreakvhs @arch-b1sh0p @atomic-groupie @s-h-a-s-e @jjaksclayton @misspsychotic

[s-h-a-s-e]

hi :D thanks for the tag, abbi <3 !!! and now.. on with the questions ↴

last song: the idol lightstick dance song from the tomodachi life ost...... i really like it XP

favourite colour: green :3 (and also pink and blue)

currently watching: "crime pays but botany doesn't" videos on youtube >:D it's so great; i learn so much; like 101 plant facts and how to insult things in devastatingly hilarious ways !!

currently reading: yeah, also kinda not much tbh...

current obsession: the matrix (it's coming up to a year that this franchise has been rotating in my head lmao) + tomodachi life: living the dream (!!! ah ha ha ha i've been playing it nonstop since i got it (which is why i've been kinda quiet on here lately oops), though it is, in all honesty, partly a vessel for my matrix obsession XD i have started branching out to other things: like, i made team free will from spn and the mane 6 from mlp + the married couples have started having kids so there's just a gang of next gen kids running around lmao) (okay i'll stop rambling about tomodachi life now X3 !! )

currently working on: .....quite predictably, if you read the above paragraph or happened to glance at my blog even in passing, i'm working on a matrix x tomodachi life drawing ha ha (don't know when it'll be finished mind, seeing as i can scarcely pull myself from the game, but we'll see...)

last google search: cookie dough recipe :P

i know it says only ten, but i can't decide and i like tagging lots, so that's what i'm doing -> @datasoong47, @shakibone, @plaudiusplants, @pheonixed, @phineasgage, @gunn-hinge, @bluesakura007, @cats-coding-on-my-keeb, @daria-a-random-artist-81, @ro-fromthestars, @pinkwesker, @clonekiss, @electrostul, @stellarwormy, @theviridianbunny, @terrifiedtornado, @swordguy2001, @cyanbyte, @gallamy, @leaiii, @anonymousfromthematrix @leathercircuits, @agentcest, and anyone else who wants to answer a few littl questions >XP

[ro-fromthestars]

Thanks for the tag!

Last song: A Message to You, Rudy - The Specials

Favourite colour: Right now I'd say dark red, but I love most shades of green and blue

Currently watching: rewatching Red Dwarf and The Royle Family. I'd definitely recommend it for any other britcom fans, it's great. Also rewatching the comic strip presents episode; Red Nose of Courage bc why not

Currently reading: Red Dwarf - Better Than Life

Current obsession: TV shows of all kinds but that never changes. So probably still Red Dwarf

Currently working on: A few fanfics for various britcom fandoms

Last google search: internet archive

No pressure tags: @finalfrontierpsychiatrist @maryshelleysgrave @kurtisrichardprattbstard @vampiric-decay @motherblackcap @angrymantheater @sigurism @cold-knees @green--man @pantyhoseandroses @dibbs-n-scribbs

[motherblackcap]

thank you so much for the tag! :D

last song: Black Math by The White Stripes

favourite colour: quite partial to navy blue and crimson at the moment

currently watching: Half Man. I've also been getting round to watching Peep Show and Ashes to Ashes :)

currently reading: The Princess of 72nd Street by Elaine Kraf

Current obsession: what else except Withnail & I.

Currently working on: two separate poster tasks an a 1000-word explainer that have to be handed in this week 😅 also speed-writing a fic or two for @/aplatonics-assemble's fandom event.

Last google search: world's busiest shipping channels. I knew the answer but I just wanted to check anyway in case I got caught out at some random trivia night.

tagging: @lost-long-ago @scientistsfoundafriendinspace @violeteclipse2002 @yuri-osity @angrymantheater and anyone else who wants to join in!

[lost-long-ago]

Thank you for tagging me! :D

Last song: "Aladdin" by Future Islands

Favourite colour: the aroace flag :D okay that's cheating, fine, ocean blue

Currently watching: does seeing Project Hail Mary at the cinema every week count? well it will have to because I'm not watching anything else

Currently reading: nothing because I've got a one-track mind when I'm obsessed with something :(

Current obsession: do I need to say it? (Project Hail Mary)

Currently working on: two Project Hail Mary fanfics

Last online search: something about smartphones (my mother needs a new one and we were talking about that yesterday)

Tagging: @faerie-fangs @rylandgraceisace @drowninginredink @gelayev and whoever else sees this and wants to do it

[faerie-fangs]

fun thanks for the tagg!!

Last Song: I Don't Care by FoB

Favorite Color: Pastel pink, but i like a seafoam green too

Currently Watching: Um last thing I watched was Project Hail Mary in theatres

Currently Reading: just finished Bee Speaker like 20 minutes ago. currently reading Kagerou Daze, Wuthering Heights, and She Who Became the Sun

Current Obsession: Kagerou Daze is growing fic ideas in my mind faster than I can write. Its an old hyperfixation that has come back strong

Currently Working On: A Kagerou Daze fic and a Novella project

Last search: Kinpira Gobou Recipe

hmm this time I'll tag @toytulini @pizzaronipasta @hungryslothwrites

[pizzaronipasta]

uhhhhhh

last song: a medley of different versions of bad apple ig (i don't really go out of my way to listen to music much lol)

favorite color: green or blue

currently watching: nothing really, just assorted youtube videos

currently reading: kagerou daze, and lord of the rings if i ever get back to it

current obsession: the zelda series, particularly how the games all fit together (the official timeline is wrong but not in the way you'd think, it's actually mostly correct but it's got some inaccuracies that i could rant about for at least half an hour)

currently working on: an original aro writing project + a short one-off story, also various computer things perpetually accumulating on the back burner

last search: zelda minish cap are there missable kinstones

tags (if u want to): @titty-to-the-mitty @tierd-autistic-zorua and whoever else

[tierd-autistic-zorua]

Last Song: Cannibal by Naethan Apollo

Favorite Color: Purple or Yellow I guess

Currently Watching: Sebbediahs TOMODACHI LIFE LIVING THE DREAM playthrough

Currently Reading: Nothing

Current Obsession: Not sure to be honest

Currently Working On: Nothing

Last search: Nookipedia

Tags: @misopheri @dragonlover158429 @daxhalfawake @justvoidsdumbstuff1 @bucketsofmonsters @parasite-2 @ch1zzie @graylitschii @etherealspacejelly @clown-make0u1s

[dragonlover158429]

ty for the tag ^^

Last Song: Chaos Space Marine by Black Country, New Road

Favorite Color: Trypan Blue

Currently Watching: "ᏩᏯ Waya, Saving Our Red Grandfather" documentary and the newest Laurenzside video (I started the first this morning and I'll finish it this evening, Lauren is for relaxing :)

Currently Reading: "Becoming Kin" by Patty Krawec and "Before the Cofee gets Cold" by Toshikazu Kawaguchi and "The Silmarillion" by Tolkien (TOO MANY BOOKS TOO LITTLE TIME T_T)

Current Obsession: Quetzolcoatlus (I fear I have fallen into my prehistoric non-dinosaur animals hyperfixation again)

Currently Working On: An English essay for school (+ 1000 other things I'm behind on lmao)

Last Search: "brine meaning"

Tags (if you feel like playing): @totallynotluna @michimonie @bluesmchops @awkwardgoose @flowervanband @fantasticenthusiasttale @megxolotl @geneyumi @roci5 @kiiriminna @63n3437 @addictedtoducks @cornel-ant @sweettjrose @skelemi @chaseerr0rcode @calisotaducks @ardenla @polina-me @just-a-simpel-narrator

[ardenla]

Thank you for the tag:))

Last song: Cradel of forest by Akira Yamoaka

Favorite colour: Purple, but I also really like blue and green

Currently watching: Mononoke (not the studio Ghibli one)

Currently reading: Sleepy hollow by Washington Irving (I've had this book for so long and finally decided to give it a read. I still have soooo many books to go though...)

Current obsession: Old horror games (90's and early 00's)

Currently working on: Finishing up a novelette I started and stopped last year, almost done

Last search: "OverBlood guide" (found this ps1 game and got stuck, no idea what it's about, but it's fun)

Tags: @thepancak @jay-wasreblogging @makimiomary @palatablepain @krisharcher21

[ardenla]

Intruder in the hideout

One fresh horror story coming up!

It's still warm:))

Word count: 929

TW: mild gore

 My friends and I have a hideout, hidden away from all the annoying adults in our lives.

It’s a secret place only we know of and it’s really well hidden!

There are days we come here and days we don’t come here, because we really don’t want our parents to know.

It’s a small, low hut in the middle of the woods close by.

None of us knows who built it, but it has been sitting empty for a long time. Nikki said that it might have been a bunker at some point in time, she says she saw it in a book, but she also still believes in the tooth fairy. So really there is no way of knowing and it’s ours now.

It’s our hideout and we play whatever we want there, we’ve even taken some old junk we found and made it more homey.

I remember it like yesterday, when we went around looking for things to put inside.

There’s a big wooden box we use as a table. We usually sit on the floor, but when it gets colder we use mats or whatever else we can find. Matt has claimed an ancient looking wooden, toy car as his seat. Though he will probably soon outgrow it.

It was Nikki who found an old flashlight we use as our lightsource, since the inside can be pretty dark.

In our hideout we play many things, like that we’re superheroes or spies.

Cayden is the leader. Unlike some other kids he is a really good one, he’s nice and always listens to others around him, so we gave him his role, he didn’t have a say in it.

It truly is a great place to escape to after a long and boring day at school or a tiring weekend meant to spend at birthday parties of people I don’t even know that well.

One of our other members, Lotti, likes to bring food with her from time to time. In order to make sure she doesn’t have to use her allowance for everything, the others and I bring things as well.

Then again, usually when playing we don’t eat a lot, we almost don’t have time for it. We have people to save you know!

Today the weather is rainy, but we still decided to go.

But something was off when we got there.

I don’t know what it is, but something seems to have been moved.

There’s this strange feeling in my chest… Like someone had found out about our secret safe space.

We get closer to the doorway and notice that there’s light coming from inside.

“Cayden, did you forget the light yesterday?” I ask, recalling our rule of the leader double checking everything.

“No, it was off.” He shakes his head, flinging drops of rain away from his drenched hair. “Nikki?” But she too shakes her head: “It was off I’m sure, let’s go inside or else we will catch a cold.”

We all listen and enter.

Something else is amiss…

A shadow.

A long, tall shadow.

One more than could belong to someone in our group.

I stop and look around.

Then I see it.

My body turns colder than it already was.

There’s someone in our hideout.

Someone uninvited.

An adult.

The others notice my silence and look for what silenced me.

Finding it, they also stop speaking and huddle together.

Before us on the cold floor sits a woman, long coloured hair covering her face.

She doesn’t move.

Is she watching us?

Is she readying herself to attack us?

Cayden is the first to move: “Everyone, run!”

I told you he is the leader type.

We all immediately get out, back in the gushing rain, with our leader being last to follow.

My house is the closest by, so I suggest we go there.

On our quick way towards my house we keep an eye out for one another, making sure we’re not leaving someone behind and making sure that we’re not being chased.

I knock on the door and we’re all let inside.

My mother seems worried, but we’re not sure if we should tell her. When she’s left the room it’s Lotti who first speaks up: “If we tell them we’re going to be in trouble.”

“You think?” Cayden whispers back.

“She could have been on drugs.” Matt points out.

The next day we return to the hideout and find the woman again, this time slightly moved to the side.

I gather my bravery.

“Ma’am?” I ask carefully.

No answer.

I take a step closer.

“Ma’am?”

Something seems to be moving underneath her hair.

But is that really a way for a face to move?

Carefully I brush her hair aside and immediately retreat my hand, almost leaping back.

Gross!!

Maggots.

Crawling and creeping all over the woman’s face.

Some of them fall onto the floor and my friends now notice too.

Cayden takes me back: “We need to get out of here, maybe even get adults involved.”

“But then our hideout will be discovered…” Matt tries, but Cayden starts yelling: “She’s dead! Do you want to stay here?!”

We’re all shocked. Our leader never yelled like this.

Lotti starts to cry softly and Nikki tries to console her, while taking her outside.

We all leave the place behind and get our parents who then in turn get the police.

But when the officers return to us they tell us that nothing was there. We even show them to the place, but… she isn’t there anymore.

Even the maggots have vanished.

I washed my hands thousands of times, but they never feel clean anymore.

At night I can’t sleep at all.

I turn and turn until I’m too scared to.

I wish I still had my nightlight.

There’s a tapping on my window.

I try my best to ignore it, but after a while I can’t anymore.

Slowly I get out of bed and walk towards the sound.

Opening my curtain…

I see her.

[ardenla]

Do you ever write directly about things you find depressing and disturbing? I get the impression your horror and other writing are skimming past something.

Thanks for the question:)

I do like to keep my stories vague so that people can come up with their own ideas and theories about what's really going on. Though taking a direct approach might be fun too (if you have any tips for me please let me know).

I have a feeling you might have sensed the connection between the last two stories I posted here. Some of the stories I write are inspired by real experiences and these are two of them.

So yes, with these two I am keeping a bit of distance.

[ardenla]

I hope you're all well:)

Sorry for the lack of stories and updates.

Currently I'm going through the fourth (grammer stuff) check of something that might become throwable.

[ardenla]

What's left of the past in the dusty cupboard

I guess I'm writing another short horror stories bundle:)

Maybe I can write another 100 haha

Word count: 376

TW: It's not really that scary, depressing stuff mostly I guess

[This is not a story about objects]

It’s that time again.

The time to clean up unwanted, unneeded things.

It’s not always fun, but not always that bad either.

With each object there are memories.

Those can be difficult to get rid of, though there are some simpler cases.

For example, simple candy wrappers are easily thrown away, while something like stuffed animals that have known and given warmth are more difficult.

I don’t like to admit it, but it does get easier eventually.

As long as you don’t get attached, as long as you don’t keep it too long around.

Today I’m cleaning out an old and forgotten cupboard.

Dust has gathered both inside as outside.

Carefully I reach inside the dark place and search until I feel something familiar.

I take out an old flashlight which once shone so bright in my darkest moments.

I press the button, but now it has nothing but a dull beam, almost indistinguishable from the dark itself.

Did I use it too much?

Could it not handle what I told it?

Or did time simply take it?

Why did you shine brighter than me?

Reaching for the next object I find a mirror.

It’s cracked.

I remember the day it reflected me perfectly, I never liked that about it, that’s why I left it here.

Now it shows even worse, showing multiple versions of myself, from which none I want to identify with.

I should have thrown this out ages ago.

You never understood me anyway.

Then there’s an old picture inside an even older frame.

One showing the past, but every time I look it turns worse.

Why show me this now? I ask it every time.

Truths that were meant to be hidden, truths I never wanted to acknowledge.

The past is in the past, but not in this picture.

It’s alive, it’s breathing, beckoning me inside it’s awful cold.

Why do you only see everything in a negative light?

Right, this is enough.

It all needs to go.

They keep on hurting me.

If I could I would have burned them, killed them, hurt them.

But they won’t let me.

So cutting them out completely is my only option.

[This is a story about people]

[ardenla]

Former friend

I was looking through my short horror stories (wouldn't really call this one horror though) and found one I think is alright to post here. I did write this back in 2024, so it's already a while back.

Word count: 1677

TW: spooks, depressed protag

As my eyes open, no light enters them.

It's dark.

The dark is comfortable to me, much more comfortable than when I'm able to see.

More comfortable than my nightmares even.

I sigh.

I guess it's time for another day.

Blindly I get out of bed and turn on the light.

Gosh, I wish I didn't.

It's way too bright.

I glance at my clock and look away, I got out of bed pretty late.

Those damned nightmares.

Well luckily I don't need to go to work or any other annoying appointments.

I walk to my small kitchen and get something to eat.

As I sit down for breakfast I can't help myself, but to think about the nightmare last night.

'I forgive you'

I find it difficult to breathe even thinking about it, I shake my head.

Get out.

Get out!

Please just leave me alone!

I pick up a magazine I left carelessly on the table yesterday and try to stop myself from thinking deeper.

It works and before I know it I'm busy making a difficult puzzle, so busy I even forget about my breakfast.

As I look up at the clock I notice that it's almost dinner time already.

Jeez, that goes fast.

Should I just go back to bed again?

I don't feel like eating anyway.

I know it's bad, but I decide to just return to bed.

I've given up, I know I will get that nightmare again anyway. Perhaps it's better to just accept it.

As I place my hand on the doorknob I suddenly freeze.

It feels abnormally cold.

Not just that, there is someone in my room.

I sense something moving.

Should I sleep in the kitchen tonight?

In the bathroom perhaps?

No, I shouldn't act so stupid.

If someone is here, I should probably just tell them.

What if it's a robber?

Maybe just ask them to leave... politely.

What if they have a gun?

Be even more polite and offer them tea....?

But what if it's something worse than a robber, what should I do then?

I hear something walking around in my room, footsteps that seem awfully familiar to me.

That's impossible.

That can't be true.

C' ome on, prove that it isn't what you think it is!

Quickly I swing open the door...

And before me...

Before me stands the one worse thing.

The worst person to stand before me is standing right there.

The one person I wished to never meet again.

The one person I wished to never speak to again.

My former friend.

He turns to me and smiles as he looks at me.

'I forgive you' The smile seems to say.

Scared, I take a step back.

"Good evening." My old friend says.

Should I be polite?

Should I send him away?

How did he even get in here in the first place?

"G-good..." But I can't finish, I can't breathe.

I drop to the floor as I gasp for air.

My former friend rushes over to me, his face filled with worry.

As he tries to embrace me, I push away his arms.

I can see him say my name, but I can't hear him.

I can see him trying to help me.

I can see him trying to calm me down.

But all is for naught as I'm consumed by darkness.

As I open my eyes I find myself back at my old high-school.

I'm at my desk.

The one I always sat at.

Everything seems to be wrong about this place.

The windows are the worst part of it as they seem to have been completely blacked out. Nothing is to be seen out of them, yet somehow sunlight does enter it.

The teacher in front of the class is explaining something.

I guess this is history.

In front of me sits my former friend, he turns to me and smiles.

I remember this day, we caused trouble and got sent to the principal's office.

We had been friends for as long as we could remember, yet it ended one day quite suddenly.

My former friend sticks out his tongue, I remember laughing because of his silly behavior, but today I despise it.

I hate him, I think I do.

I stand up from my seat.

I don't want to be here.

I want to leave.

I want to go back home.

My chair falls loudly on the old floor and the teacher turns around to look at me.

"Something the matter?" He asks, but something is wrong with him too.

His face.

Other classmates turn around too, they look at me, but their faces seem to have been messed up as well.

Perhaps it is better to say that their faces are warped or in some cases even gone completely.

Is it because I forgot?

Is it because I wanted to forget?

"If you're just going to keep standing there, you better just-"

I won't let him finish and rush to the door.

I have a bit of trouble opening it and my former friend walks over to me.

He stretches out a hand, but I slap it away.

"Leave me alone!" I yell at him.

His face turns to one of surprise, yet I ignore it.

The door suddenly opens and I fall through it, entering the darkness and falling much deeper than would be possible.

I hear someone calling my name.

"Wake up, are you okay?"

As I open my eyes, I see that I'm back at my apartment.

I'm back with my former friend, he doesn't look much different from back in high-school, unlike me, who couldn't have been any more different.

Quickly I get away from him.

I stop as a cold wall gently touches my back.

My former friend stops coming closer and instead sits down on the floor.

"Why are you trying to get away from me?" He asks in a worried tone.

Oh, how much I've come to hate that voice now.

"I'm only here to help you." He continues.

I press my shaking hands over my eyes so as to not see him.

"L-l-lea-a-ve... m-me a-a-alon-ne..." My voice trembled much more than I had wanted it to.

My former friend shakes his head: "Just what happened to make you like this? I'm not a monster you know."

I shake my head.

Finally able to speak a little bit more normal, I ask: "W-why are y-y-you here?"

Again he shows that awful smile: "To visit my dear friend of course, the guy that seems to have locked himself up, in his house... and in his heart."

"H-how did y-you get i-in?"

"You want to know?" His smile turns to one more sinister than before: "I walked through the wall."

Walked through the wall?

But how?

That might only be possible if he...

He does seem closer to the age he was when I last saw him, about ten years ago.

Did he... die? Back then?

Is that why he never contacted me again?

I stare at him: "Are you... dead?"

I hadn't thought about the question at all, it just tumbled out of my mouth without my permission.

A sad smile appears on the intruder's face: "Yes." He whispers: "I am long gone."

My head hurts, maybe it's because I haven't had anything to drink for a while. When was the last time I had a glass of water?

Is this my fault too?

Am I the cause of his death?

I look up at him again: "Is it... because of me...?"

But instead of giving me a straight answer he whispers those hated words: "I forgive you.".

My eyes feel heavy again and I sink away into another dark dream.

As light enters my world again, I look around and find a pencil in my hand.

Before me lies a piece of paper on which rough lines show a drawing that I made.

I'm in a living room.

The living room of my former friend.

Speaking of, he's sitting right in front of me, drawing as well.

Like the school, the windows have been completely blacked out.

My former friend looks up from his work and smiles at me: "What are you looking for?"

I feel my blood turn cold, but calmly answer: "Nothing."

His face turns serious: "If something is wrong, you can tell me. You know that right?"

He looks no older than 10, but at the moment I must look about the same age.

I remember this too, I'm in another messed up memory...

"Look, I draw us!" My former friend almost hits me in the face with the picture he has drawn.

I take it from him and look at it.

"It's us, we're fighting monsters together!"

I smile at him, perhaps a bit embarrassed and tell him that it's good, then I look in the corner, he has written out names in it, with 'best friends forever' underneath.

Liar.

I want to crumble it.

I want to rip it apart.

But somehow I can't, perhaps it's because I never did in the first place.

"What are you doing?" He asks giggling.

Tears well up in my eyes and my vision gets all blurry.

"Hey, I forgive you." His voice says in a strange tone.

You never said that. I conclude.

It isn't real.

As I wipe my tears I'm back in my apartment with my former friend, neither of us looking 10 anymore.

He has his arm stretched out to me to help me up, but I get up by myself.

I don't want to look at him.

I don't want to hear him.

I don't want him here.

I don't want to deal with this.

I walk over to the kitchen and to my dismay he keeps following me.

"Do you want me to send flowers to your mom or something?" I ask, making my former friend laugh.

"No you don't have to."

"But ghosts in movies usually want those who can see them to contact their families, right?"

"Dude, this isn't a movie."

I turn on my computer.

"I have a question for you." I say hesitantly.

"Yes?" My friend asks.

"When exactly did you die? And how? I can't find it anywhere..."

"You won't find it."

"What?"

I type his full name in the search engine.

As I scroll, I suddenly find something about him.

It's from just a couple of days ago.

He looks much older from the last time I saw him, he seems to have been working at some big-shot company.

The article says he got a promotion just last week.

I turn towards the ghost in my room.

"It says here that you got a promotion recently, if you aren't dead yet... then just who or what are you?"

My friend smiles at me, a sad smile, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

"It's because I'm the 'I' that died in our mind, I'm the 'I' that you're still grieving. Even though we grew apart and so much time has passed, I'm the one you never got over."

[ardenla]

Question:

If I were to (theoretically speaking) bundle my best short horror stories together and make it into a physical book, be some stories that can't just not be in there?

[ardenla]

happy valentines day spooky mutual

👻🥀🪦

Thank you, you too!!

[ardenla]

Story 100

Yay I finally did it!!!

This is the story in which I decided the end my short horror story bundle.

In a way it is and it isn't a follow up of another story: Story 50.

Though it deals with a different horror and they're 50 stories apart.

I decided that this way of ending it would be the most fun:))

Word count: 599

TW: Psychological

Cold and coughing I finally make my way back from the cramped stone space that was the cave.

The time in which I drew pictures now seems very long ago.

The book... right... I should probably burn it.

I don't want anything to do with it anymore.

But... I know it's too late.

Have I become part of the story or has the story become a part of me?

I cannot concentrate any longer, the world of fantasy and horror is awaiting me, I can hear it call me gently by name, begging me to return to sweet ignorance.

With a loud thud I fall onto the familiar wooden floor and swiftly I close the book that had taken me inside.

In the dark I bind it shut, not caring about the damp ink inside.

It takes a while for me to finally calm down, my heart won't seem to quiet down.

Blindly I search for the candle I had dropped and light the small flame once again.

I really am back...

Am I... really?

Whilst remaining seated on the cold floor I unseal the book again and flip through the pages.

Brother.

Masked.

The confession.

The invitation.

Iris Coldon.

The traveler.

And finally the one hundredth.

All stories, all pages filled with darkness.

I skipped many and drawings have appeared. I was sure I never drew at all.

I stop to stare at the last I'm holding open right now.

Another story which is calling me.

Another story which is unnatural.

Another story awaiting me to join it's world of horrors.

Without thinking I reach for the drawing on the page, my hand disappears right into it again. Just like what happened with the fifth.

I guess all of this was a story all along.

There are eyes in the dark.

Not glowing.

But they're there, I'm certain.

I feel something looking at me.

Finally my eyes register who it is and I start to speak:

"I hadn't noticed that it was you, but I have always known you were here."

Once again I close the book and hold it close to my chest. I don't want anything getting out or getting in.

"Without knowing, you, dear reader, have become part of the story or stories as well."

"Since you came to this, you most likely have read some or all of the one hundred."

I try my best to explain.

"In your mind you have shaped these worlds, these stories.

I mean, what do the characters look like? You know, because these stories have been played in your mind.

But the way you know these characters no one else does.

The same goes for the locations, did you see them?

Look, even this drawing I made of the one of the cave is one decided by you. I didn't draw it. You did. You did all that in your mind.

Did you give voices to me and the others too? Have they all been different or have many been the same?"

I sigh, making sure the book will never open again. You of all people shouldn't be lost in its darkness, but I know that it's futile.

You have your own after all, one that doesn't much look like a book, but still shows its many damned words.

"You're too late, you could have left, but you didn't."

Before I know it I'm yelling.

"Flee if you can, close the book! If you want a chance at escape! Don't look! Don't read!"

"Leave!"

"Don't come back!"

"Run for your life!"

But it's all for naught it seems.

"You didn't leave?"

Once again I sigh deeply, sounding more depressed than the previous one.

Slowly I sit back down: "Well then I guess we're both in it together."

"I guess the stories have changed us both, huh...

Thank you for being here."

"This is goodbye. Perhaps I will see you around, perhaps not. That is up to you."

[ardenla]

The traveler

This is my 99th short horror story:)

Just one more and I have officially written 100!

Word count: 1259

Trigger warning: death, violence

Once, very, very long ago there was a traveler.

His travels reached so far and wide, he had touched each edge of the world.

His eyes had witnessed the beauty of nature.

He had felt the warmth of the friendliest and kindest people.

And yet, it all appeared not enough, for he would never stay anywhere for long.

Village after village.

Forest after forest.

From one strange unknown to the other.

It was as if he was searching for something, restlessly pursuing.

Or perhaps it was not searching at all.

Could it have been fleeting from something?

The man was a master in travelling and of course always had a story to tell the kind people who would let him stay a night.

Because of his vast knowledge, sometimes his caretakers wouldn’t even charge him a dime.

Everyone seemed to know him, but no one remembered his name.

Though there is one story.

Only one, which people sometimes still whisper.

Something more akin to a ghost story, something one tells to strike fear in another.

A story unlike heard before about this lonely traveller.

This story is about how this traveller became the guest of a certain small village he passed by.

Supposedly the final in his long journey to the unknown.

It was late when he arrived.

The sky was dark and gloomy.

In the air you could smell the soon to approach rain.

The traveler knew he needed a roof over his head soon and a bed to warm his weary body.

As he arrived, the lady of the land was the first to greet him personally, something she always did whenever a stranger would cross the border.

She was a woman whom liked to know about the goings-on of the outside. Curiosity was one of the things that made her beloved, always ready to lend a listening ear to anyone.

At the time this took place, she was already quite old. Her hair had turned white and her face wrinkled.

She had learned the ways of nature and fortune, the people loved her as much as she loved them. Not as a saint, but more like the village’s grandmother.

“Dear traveler.” She spoke when she met the weary fellow, her eyes scanned every inch of him: “I’ve heard of you haven’t I? The goalless traveller?”

The man smiled tiredly: “I guess that is what they call me, but I actually am with a goal.”

As if already knowing the answer, the lady answered the question on her mind, while slowly nodding her head: “So you are returning home?”

“For me home is the journey, but yes, I am returning to my place of birth.”

A cold breeze made the man clutch his coat a little tighter, to which the village grandmother smiled and took him to the local inn.

Like many of the stories the traveller was allowed to stay for the price of his stories while he warmed by the fireplace.

He was given a warm bed and fell asleep listening to the raindrops tapping the window.

The next day the village children would not stop bugging him for stories and he told as many as he could.

When he finally had created a break, by giving the children some of the souvenirs he had been carrying, the adults of the village came to him.

“So, dear traveler, where is it you’re going to?”

The traveler smiled, but as he gave away the name of his village he was greeted by a cold silence.

That name…

That place he spoke of…

Was no longer in existence.

The innkeeper stammered: “Wasn’t that the one that burned down years ago?”

That could not be the truth!

The traveller could not accept it, wildly he shook his head: “T-that’s impossible!”

“I’m sorry to say this, but a terrible accident had taken place there from what I heard, most of the folks have long since passed. I recommend you to stay away from it. That place has nothing good to offer anyone anymore.”

With those words spoken the traveller felt lost.

All that travelling, all that seeing the world.

Only to never be able to return home.

He stood for a moment, still, wordless.

Then, without even taking the little he had, he left.

Ignoring that the end of day was nearing.

Ignoring the people trying to sway him to remain with them.

He ignored it all.

As fast as his tired feet would take him, he made his way to what was once his home.

It wasn’t that far away and vague memories led him back to the place he had last been as a mere child.

A strange numbing feeling overcame him when he finally reached the old, overgrown ruins, looking like it had always been standing there like that.

And yet there were fragments of memories in his head about the place.

Where he would play as a little boy.

Where he would learn.

Where his family lived.

Where he went to church.

The last place was the largest, most well preserved of the ruins.

All the coloured glass had long been shattered, the benches rotted away and the candles in small puddles never to be lighted again.

It was clear no one had come here after.

There were no bodies, yet there were clear signs of terrible violence.

Most of the village buildings had been eaten by the fire and others had been taken over by nature.  

Suddenly the traveller started hearing soft voices whisper his name.

They were becoming him, inviting him to enter the darker part of the building where a part of the roof was still covering.

That had been where the altar stood.

Slowly he made his way closer, caution taken with every step.

There, on the decaying stairs was an old book.

A strange object, more well-kept than anything else.

As if someone had placed it there just a moment ago.

The traveller picked it up and opened it.

The strangest combinations of words were written there.

It seemed to be a diary, the last entry being from the day before the fire.

It seemed to tell a story about a child.

And a curse.

An evil, eating away curse.

Something which would cause the cursed to hurt those around them.

Especially the innocent.

The traveler couldn’t stop reading and read it in one sitting.

Finally the name of the accursed had been written down in dark ink.

It was his own.

The reason the people were killed.

The reason his home had been burned to the ground.

It had all been him and him alone.

The man dropped the book, finally able to break away from the content.

Looking around the night had already long since started, yet the sky was too dark to see the stars.

Old painful memories started flooding back in, like a rock being thrown into a window, it all came back, the shards opening the scars on his fragile mind.

“Please rid me of this curse!” The traveller cried out, but the Gods did not listen.

Not a single star would dare look at him.

For his sins.

For his past.

For his running.

For his searching.

Finally there were footsteps and an old crooked voice killed the silence:

“You won’t be rid of it.” It was the old woman who finally answered: “You can’t.”

The traveller turned to look at her, his expression one of undeniable fright.

“You can’t get rid of it, because there never was a curse.”

“You killed them willingly.”

[ardenla]

The not-so-genius-detective

I started writing a new book, a comedy this time.

An animator going by the name Shyrrn made the cover for me, it looks really cool!

Here's a link to his YouTube channel:

Shyrrn

I make the things you never asked for

If you feel like it, please tell him I said hi!

The currently published chapters are now on both Inkitt and Wattpad:

Coldon, a hard working police officer who takes everything way too serious has now been forced to work together with a rather strange and an

The Not-So-Genius Detective - Free Story by Ardenla

Coldon, a hard working police officer who takes everything way too serious has now been forced to work together with a rather strange and an

But don't worry, I will keep on writing creepy stories:)