First of all, Iâve been remiss â the Nine Days started last Friday at sunset, and a lot of stuff ideally requires set-up. I should have written this before then.
Most of this comes from this Chabad page.
If I got anything wrong please let me know!
The Nine Days are a period of heightened mourning (even more heightened than the Three Weeks) for Ashkenazim, Jews of European descent (if one of your parents is Ashkenazi and the other is Sefardi, then this goes by the father) between Rosh Chodesh Av (the beginning of the month of Av) and Tisha bâAv (teisha means nine in Hebrew; Tisha bâAv just means âthe ninth of Avâ) , the fast itself. This year, Rosh Chodesh Av went out last Friday at sunset and Tisha bâAv falls on Shabbat, so itâs ânidcheâ (pushed off), since we donât mourn on Shabbat, until Saturday evening -Sunday (25-26 July)
For Sefardim, Jews of Spanish or Portugese descent, the rules for the Nine Days only apply in the week that 9 Av falls in, âshavua shechal boâ, so the time between the end of the closest Shabbat and the beginning of the fast. Thereâs a machloket (a long-standing unsolved legal disagreement) over whether, when 9 Av is nidche, thereâs a shavua shechal bo or not.Â
The Aish position is âOne should be strict about this concerning laundering and haircuts.One may be lenient about matters concerning cutting nails and making clothes. As for meat and wine, Sefardim could eat without restriction; for Ashkenazim certain leniencies apply (for example, regarding who can eat meat at a Bris).â
I donât have a reliable source of information on the customs of Mizrachim, Jews of Middle Eastern descent â ask your LOR (local Orthodox rabbi) or, if thereâs a family member who remembers your customs, then see if you can ask them.
Customs of mourning during the Nine Days are refraining from:
Washing clothing â even if they will not be worn during the Nine Days âor wear freshly laundered outer clothing. The exceptions are clothes that are âfrequently soiledâ and/or only worn next to the skin and not as outer clothes: so, underwear and baby clothes, basically.
Ideally, one should wear all their clean clothes for a short time on or before Rosh Chodesh Av to make them no longer fresh. If you havenât done this, which is kind of my fault, itâs also possible to chuck them on the cloor and sort of ⌠walk on them for a bit, until they arenât fresh.
Consuming meat or wine (including grape juice).
Exceptions to this are as part of a meal that celebrates a mitzvah (seudat mitzvah), such as a circumcision, bar mitzvah, or the completion of a tractate of the Talmud (siyyum), or on Shabbat. For Havdalah in the Nine Days, which this year we donât have, one can use a non-wine beverage or give it to an under bar or bat mitzvah child to drink.
Swimming, bathing or showering for pleasure. Some people have the custom not to shower at all. Most take very short, very cold showers to make absolutely certain itâs only for cleanliness and not for pleasure at all.Â
Buying new clothes (or making them)âeven if to be worn only after the Nine Days.
Exceptions to this rule: (a) If you will miss a major sale, or if the garment will be unavailable later. (b) For the purpose of a mitzvah, such as purchasing new clothing for a bride and groom.
Remodelling or expanding a home.
Planting trees to be used for shade or fragrance (as opposed to fruit trees).
Cutting nails only during shavua shechal bo (even for Ashkenazim).
Generally having parties is kind of inappropriate, though thereâs no law.
Also, itâs considered a sort of âbad luckâ time to do dangerous things, so some people donât take plane journeys or similarly âriskyâ things (harking to a time when âtravelâ was much more dangerous). Again, no rule.
Follow-up post on Tisha bâAv is coming, bli neder (no promises), bâezrat Hashem (with G-dâs help)