Deercat

Call me Ari. I’m here I’m queer and I’m a deer.

[drhorsekiller]

[angelicguy]

Many of you may be asking- what is rap? Well, to put it simply, rap is the part of the Gorillaz song that sounds- a little different.

[abandoned-quiche]

* (Oh, these parentheses I keep opening?

* (I'm collecting them.

* (Right now, I'm 1,762 parentheses deep.

* (Oh, my precious parentheses... (I don't ever want to close them!

[bloodied-dagger]

* Oh, these parentheses I keep closing?)

* There’s some guy who keeps opening them.)

* Right now, they think they’re 1,762 parentheses deep…)

* But really? They’re all closed.) Thanks to me.)

[uncertainlys]

MY FINGERS BARELY EVEN TOUCHED YOUR STUPID FUCKING AD STOP REDIRECTING ME TO THE APP STORE

[scrimblobimblobadimbo-deactivat]

im going through my skyrim screenshot folder

[han-j1]

Who names their character Susan

[scrimblobimblobadimbo-deactivat]

I’m poisoning an enchanted crossbow, which I gave a nickname to so I wouldn’t accidentally sell it. The name of the weapon is “delicious quinoa, Susan”.

[retroject]

I found a lovely snail at work who was dried out so I let him have a shower and he seemed to enjoy it!! 🐌🚿

[scififantasystuff]

[joy-and-whimsy-official]

Joy and whimsy detected! This snower (snail shower) is joyful and whimsical! 🐌🚿

[nekomimidusteon]

stop squishing the catgirl princess's cheeks and going "who is the cutest wittle kitty!!!" it is undignified, and at this point the princess is thinking of holding your face with her gay little paws to see how you like it.,.,...

[ur-favorite-fishgirl]

sex is a distraction from your true purpose in life which is to go to the aquarium and look at the fish and go "wooooooaaah.... fishies". cmon guys we all need to lock in.

[theconcealedweapon]

[maarvarq]

Always bear in mind that there is absolutely no legitimate evidence that Luigi was actually the one who killed the insurance company guy.

[theconcealedweapon]

Of course he wasn't. He was at a party with me that day.

[tiny-space-whale]

No but like literally, actually. All bits aside.

He didn't do it.

The cops very clearly planted evidence on him because they had to make an arrest because all eyes were on them and whoever actually did the deed was making them look stupid.

Why would the real killer hero have kept the weapon on his person and traveled two states over while carrying it and a manifesto in his bag, conveniently turning the crime into a federal matter? The same guy whose bag they found in a park, filled with monopoly money? Why did the police turn off their bodycams, take Luigi's stuff, drive a block away, turn their bodycams back on, go back into the restaurant, and then arrest him?

From the moment of his arrest, even left-of-center media has been presuming his guilt without examining anything (e.g. calling him "the killer" instead of "alleged" or "accused") and then when I say he didn't do it, the nearest person chimes in with some quip that tells me they think he did do it but should go free anyway. Don't get me wrong, I would have the same attitude if he had done it. But he didn't. It makes me feel like the only sane person in the world, even among my staunchly leftist friends.

[dogpuppy]

[fapper]

Fuck

[marinebiologyshitposts]

shrimp tempura

[the-supernatural-atheist]

"riding my biggest dildo imagining it's you" ok i ah. hm. i don't quite know how to say this but. perhaps instead consider a thimble

[the-supernatural-atheist]

thats right folks. my peonis? cold and made of metal as fuuuuuck

[penandinkprincess]

3 pm: god, I'm EXHAUSTED. going to bed early for SURE.

midnight: I Have Literally Never Been More Awake And Alert

[oeing-oeing-clay]

wow dude jts so awesome that your car is loud as fuck and smells worse when it drives past. thags fucking epic man. i really like how it hurts to listen to you drive past and it scares people. thats awesome man. i really like your car that makes a loud as fuck fart sound. fucking epic dude

[ur-favorite-fishgirl]

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

[manuciruja]

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

[manuciruja]

i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users

[smadsel]

would be remiss not to mention that the rainbow notably straight up just removed the trans flag colors from it. like they’re gone. it’s the progress flag minus the trans flag colors.

[smadsel]

that’s not the whole flag, now is it

[manuciruja]

hey staff what the fuck

[villainessbian]

hey staff don't you think you're being too on-the-nose

[shrodingers-catgirl]

HEY STAFF DONT YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING TOO ON-THE-NOSE

[babushkaat]

garbonzo