Yall ever be relaxing and just stop breathing for a minute or two. Like not can't breathe, but you voluntarily yet subconsciously stop breathing. Is this normal or just a side effect of learning to hold your breath for 4 minutes?

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blake kathryn
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we're not kids anymore.

titsay

⁂
taylor price

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dirt enthusiast
i don't do bad sauce passes
AnasAbdin
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

Product Placement
d e v o n

@theartofmadeline

Andulka
Show & Tell
Cosimo Galluzzi
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
trying on a metaphor

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@arkues
Yall ever be relaxing and just stop breathing for a minute or two. Like not can't breathe, but you voluntarily yet subconsciously stop breathing. Is this normal or just a side effect of learning to hold your breath for 4 minutes?
god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies
No, and you have no evidence that I'm supposed to be doing something rn.
RazNasty
Could you please repost that photo of the Chechen guerillas dancing on the cliff? I really like that one and forgot to save it before you got termed 💔
I drew this when pokopia first came out. I think they feel how my cat might feel if I left ;-;
incredible stuff happening out there
There's gotta be someone more qualified. I'm fucking begging you.
@evilwizard
don’t involve me in this…
@theshitpostcalligrapher ?
@teaboot ?
☹️
@derinthescarletpescatarian ?
Ask the cookie clicker guy
For block list maybe
Uh @thebibliosphere is a best selling author think that counts?
Over my undead body.
"the gang's all here" ass post except none of you want to be here XD
“the gang’s all here” ass
post except none of you want
to be here XD
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
@itsapmseymour save us
?
Save you?
On tumblr dot com?
woo i am such a fan of dramatic plants. just prissy fucking plantlife, be it unreasonable or implacable or ostentatious. plants, man
u know what yeah, let’s talk about weird nonsense plants
1. Living Stones
these plants imitate rocks. who does that?
imagine deciding to straight up evolve into rocks as a defense mechanism. i had a whole rant planned but now i’m remembering that i have, in the past, on multiple occasions, daydreamed about being a rock. like that has been a recurring theme in my rich inner fantasy life. i would not forsake the opportunity to evolve into a stone.
2. Hooker’s Lips
ostentatious. flamboyant. vulgar. garish. randy. dare i say whorish? yes. this plant is whorish.
pucker up you hussy
3. Hoya Hearts
overused trope. lacks subtlety and creativity. truly, they just went with the first thought to pop in their head, no brainstorming involved. “ho ho ho i’m just gonna grow into a fucking HEART, that’ll show em!” Needy & basic bitch. looks cute on a desk
4. Lifesaver Plants
manages to be both psychedelic and disapproving. reminiscent of a prudish great aunt–but like, one who did a lot of LSD in the 70s. evidence of an alien lifeform who crash landed and then decided, fuck it, i’m gonna rent a one-story in the midwest and decorate it with vintage wood paneling & floral upholstery. probably smells like stale weed and glass ashtrays
5. Happy Alien Flowers
yes that is their NAME. sort of anticlimactic, but take a gander:
they are absolute sluts for drama, as demonstrated by the little hussies pictured above are YELLING AT ME. they bring to mind seagulls engaged in a Shakespearean blood feud. this flowers have committed aggravated manslaughter and probably got away with it too.
6. Bat Plant
aka Cat’s Whiskers aka Devil Flower. how fucking emo is that??? this plant listens to mcr and is probably the gay cousin. they never got the hang of eyeliner but that doesn’t stop them from trying, bless em. their impetuous devil-may-care persona is hindered by their crippling social anxiety. i’m immensely fond of this plant. they’ll come into their own once they graduate and move away from college, but in the mean time they sit with the tech crew at lunch. you go little Bat Plant!
7. Dancing Plants
total band kids. also called Semaphore Plants, bc they look like they’re trying to flag down a plane. nifty fuckers
in conclusion, three cheers for whiny, namby-pamby, scatterbrained plantlife
so you’ll reblog THIS and my Non-Comprehensive List of Cursed Bird That Piss Me Off, but Whimsical Creatures Failing To Tempt Me Into The Ocean is where tumblr draws the line huh
I am absolutely delighted to show you this orchid the ‘Naked Man’. It’s an orchid native to the Mediterranean and it looks like a lil dude with a tiny penis
PROPORTIONALLY SPEAKING
bug i made for your consideration.
I have considered it and come to the conclusion that this bus absolutely rules. Thank you.
WHAT HAVE I DONE
Kristi Noem’s husband’s bimbofication scandal is so fucking funny. It’s hysterical. I usually don’t care what people cum to but this is such a hilarious petty nothingburger political scandal. There are so many terrible things happening in the world and she put out a statement requesting prayers after pictures of her husband wearing H-cup prosthetic boobs got leaked. $25,000 spent on his big boob kink.
love it when my fellow they/thems refer to themselves with gendered language specifically to make situations gayer and/or funnier.
i knew an enby who got married and they both referred to each other as "my wife." until the other spouse transitioned, at which point they became husbands.
the cherry on top? introducting each other to new acquaintances as "my ex-wife and current husband"
hey guys is there a nice wizard on tumblr or is it only the evil one
it’s just me
Top ten glands in your body to produce venom with
for sure the balls
Your conjecture is baseless. Let’s see what the science says.
It said balls
Messaging people for the first time is so hard. What am I supposed to say? Like, "You seem really odd and your blog intrigues me. Do you want to have philosophical conversations or perhaps talk about fictional characters?" What! Whatever. I will just follow you back and stare at your blog with my big beautiful brown eyes.
Reblog if you're okay with people coming into your DMs with the "you seem really odd and your blog intrigues me, do you want to have philosophical conversations or perhaps talk about fictional characters"
So many people who wanna argue with me about King Arthur clearly haven’t read the actual medieval texts. I know this because if they actually read the source material they’d know that when it comes to King Arthur, everything is made up and the points don’t matter.
“King Arthur couldn’t have fought the Roman Empire”
Try telling that to Geoffrey of Monmouth.
“You can’t just add in new characters”
Try telling that to Chrétien de Troyes. Aka the guy who invented Lancelot.
“Arthurian canon isn’t French”
Clearly you don’t own an air fryer. Also clearly you haven’t read literally anything written after the Norman invasion.
“Arthur needs to be a knight in shining armor”
If he lived at all he lived almost a thousand years before widespread adaption of plate armor.
“He can’t be in plate armor because that’s anachronistic”
Try telling that to Thomas Mallory.
“The fairy stuff is leftover from Celtic myth/Celtic gods)
A lot of that stuff including the lady of the lake wasn’t added until the 12th century actually. Centuries after England was christianized. It was also mostly added by the French poets.
God, I sure hope so.
when the allegedly cishet neurotypical relative hits you with the "well i think everyones a little bit on the spectrum" "its normal to think about kissing your girl friends sometimes" "sure i've never felt like a woman but i can't change what i am." and you have to suddenly carefully evaluate whether theyre just being dismissive or if you've unlocked some very interesting potential information about your grandmother.
NASA took a pic of the dark side of the moon fyi
Yeah, isn’t that a cool picture? It’s the one someone showed me to point out what color the moon really is compared to the Earth! They both have the same amount of sunlight on them here.
The moon’s not white! It’s concrete-gray! It only looks so shiny when compared to the void of space!
I love learning things I didn’t expect to learn. Like when I learned that it’s called the “dark side” of the moon because it’s the side we don’t see, not because sunlight never hits it.
she's mooning us
this side of the moon sucks
she is PROTECTING US from METEORS you CALLOUS INGRATE