you are required to be and act anti-racist
thinking and hoping you're not racist isn't enough. i am talking specifically and especially to white trans people whose political ideology and differing axis of oppression makes them feel immune to racially motivated missteps and behaviors
and im suggesting firmly and with pain in my heart that apologies must start and end with "i'm so sorry to have done this. i recognize what was done and will work to do better." and at no point must your apology be accepted in order to continue a working relationship/comradeship/solidarity, at no point does your continued ":( i just feel so bad" matter to me or any other person of color
you have to process your feelings about doing a racism separate from the persons or people you did the racism to. you do not offload the labor to the affronted. you do not assert what your "intent" was repeatedly or ask for help from the hurt
