Quintiple A’s

Asexual, aromantic, adhd, asian, and AWESOME

[artemis-the-sinister]

Lol guess i yap a lot in comments 😅😅😅

[hollanovstunamelt]

One thing everyone seems to forget in this fandom is Ilya said that Irina was funny too

I feel like everyone makes her out to be this perfect angel bathed in golden light who never said one bad thing about anyone and who wouldn’t hurt a fly

But the first thing Ilya said about his mum was that she was funny

Irina Rozanova was a funny gal, she cracked jokes, she was quick witted and let’s not forget she raised Ilya little shit supreme Rozanov

IRINA WAS FUNNY

[lavenderprose]

Yeah okay so some Hudson bled onto my Shane that's just what happens sometimes. Happens in the wash. You just gotta deal with it.

[artemis-the-sinister]

It’s like with whites and colors, you gotta remember to separate your shanes and your hudsons

[gurlsrool]

Shane and Ilya on a double date with Max and Leah… :’) that’s it that’s the post

[artemis-the-sinister]

The amount of shit they will talk about Max and Shane’s old teams…

[penandinkprincess]

I have to say that I am cackling at the thought of Melissa opening a text from Ilya and it's a video of Shane absolutely wasted at a Bood BBQ just screaming MELISSAAAAAAAAAA!!! I'M DRUNK AND OUTSIDE!!! Shane is just so happy and carefree and has a hotdog in his hand as he dances around the yard. Ilya turns the camera around at some point and goes "Don't worry, Melissa. I check all the ingredients on the food and told everyone no mango ANYTHING or I make them bag skate until the puke" Then her gives her a thumbs up and the video ends

GOD melissa ends up quitting working for montreal and opens a private practice in ottawa because it lets her be closer to the woman she was seeing (anjali, who is a professor at the university of ottawa who also does medical research (she and melissa met at a conference about allergies and immune responses years ago)), so she is now contracted for handling specifically shane's mealpreps for ottawa (a concession since shane took a paycut: he gets to have his emotional support melissa even if there wasn't an empty role for her as a team dietician on staff), which means she doesn't work with him face to face as much anymore

but still does not escape the snapchats and texts

(even when shane REALLY wishes while hungover afterwards that his husband was a little less supportive of his routines)

[penandinkprincess]

GOD the bickering that happens in these videos now lmao

"and then chicken breast with lemon pepper and-"

ilya, off camera: "ground almonds"

"no! lemon pepper and thyme, with-"

"peanut butter"

"no!"

"so much peanut butter, melissa, do not let him lie to you-"

"that's not true! shut up!"

[artemis-the-sinister]

Ilya jokes about Shane illicitly sneaking every food he’s allergic to EXCEPT the mangoes. Because he values his life.

[artemis-the-sinister]

If i had a nickel for every show featuring gay world class athletes on ice skates falling in love which included one of them having a really disappointing finish at a high stakes competition in Sochi Russia that broke containment on social media and became a cultural behemoth in the sport they represented i would have two nickels

[ilya-sweetheart]

[artemis-the-sinister]

I don’t care if you hate Hayden. In canon he is one of the best allies in the books, bar his admittedly shitty behavior in that dinner short story which he learns from. Almost all of those “characters” that you say are better than Hayden are basically canon ocs that you gave fandom stock personalities to because apparently the only way to be a true ally is to be a big goofy himbo who treats Roz like a bro and worships Shane like the god of hockey. You think Shane wants to be friends with a bunch of big goofy himbos who worship the ground he walks on? That’s uncomfortable as shit! He’d rather take his steady friends who support him and treat him like a person. A friend who acts like a real fucking person, with flaws and misunderstandings and an imperfect understanding of him. But who tries anyway.

[sabotage-on-mercury]

Ilya is chronically online so of course he saw this trend on tiktok and it's ridiculous and a bit cheesy but despite himself he has to snort in amusement whenever he sees another video of it. he knows the exasperated look Shane will give him and that alone is reason enough to try it out.

it's too easy really, the next time they go shopping (yes, occasionally these divas go shopping especially since Shane found comfort in a better style), Shane instinctively grabs one bag after the other form the cashiers. they walk through the streets vaguely back to their car but Ilya really is in a splurging mood and gets more and more bags with toys for Anya, a new watch he will never wear, a hair care gift set for Sveta, you name it. each bag he presses into Shane's already full hands and dashes off to find another thing to buy and hand over to his dutiful husband.

as usual when they are out in the city, Shane doesn't say much. he doesn't complain about the 15th bag to hold, he just takes it with a stern face and an increasing eagerness to get back to the car.

Ilya falls a few steps behind, stealthily starts recording a video of Shane marching infront of him, packed like a mule. Ilya manages to sound relatively miserable when he finally asks: "Solnyshko, why are you not holding my hand right now?"

Shane immediately stops in his tracks to turn around, Ilya is so ready to get laserbeamed with the hollander glare of annoyance and a devastating quip, but... but instead a frowning Shane looks genuinely alarmed, as if he would have forgotten something important. "Oh, right", he mutters and immediately pushes the bags over his forearm to reach our for Ilya with his left hand. fuck. after all Shane is just too good for this world. Ilya is too stunned to speak for a moment and glad to take his husband's hand and let himself be guided through the streets.

of course Ilya needs to try again. his husband is a total bitch and ilya just loves it so much when he gets Shane to show it. why must shane ruin a funny video by being so sweet and caring and genuine and just so shane?

A few weeks latery, the Cens are due for a roadtrip and Shane and Ilya arrive at the training center for the bus that will shuttle them to their plane. Shane unloads their suitcases, as he always does, and is suprised to see as Ilya begins to grab a few bags from the backseats. PlayStation for team bonding, new skates he might wanna try, extra bathrobes, and some things more, Ilya casually explains. Shane just hums and grabs their two suitcases. Ilya shoves another bunch of full bags towards Shane, which he wordlessly accepts and stacks on the suitcases. They make their way over the parking lot, and Ilya, basically baggage free, sneakily angels his phone to start recording another video. "I can't believe your not holding my hand right now", he sighs dramatically. That surely must get a rise out of Shane. He can almost see these useless bags flying in his face. He should have known better. Shane immediately shifts the suitcases so he grabs both handles with one hand, and offers his free hand to Ilya with a little smile. "Sorry."

Fucking hell. He even said sorry. Goddam polite canadian husband. Ruining Ilya's evil plans and his sanity at once. When Shane's fingers wrap around Ilya's, Ilya is actually grateful to have something to hold on to.

For his next attempt, Ilya tries to be more sneaky. If he wants to rile Shane up, he has to take the game to the only place where Shane won't let him get away with any nonsense. And he needs backup.

Ilya chooses the next training and Luca Haas as his secret camera man, who is the only one gullible enough to obey his captain's ridiculous demands without asking any questions. Ilya makes it clear that he doesn't care how Luca sneaks the phone inside the rink just that he has to be ready and discreet ones Ilya gives the sign. And sure as hell he is.

Shane just sets up to fire some warm up shots at Wyatt from the blue line when Ilya smoothly skates next to him and lightly swings his stick around.

"Don't you like holding my hand?", he asks woefully and in great expectation of Shane hissing at him, telling him to stop distracting him at work.

Shane turns towards him slowly and cocks his head. "Why would you say that?"

"We are not holding hands right now", Ilya pouts.

"Oh." Shane nods and looks down at his gloved hands at his stick. "Yeah that is a problem."

And before Ilya can grasp it, Shane drops the glove of his left hand and lays it on top of Ilya's right.

Ilya's brain is melting into a puddle of goo and he is so annoyed by it. And by Shane. But mostly there is just warm fuzzy goo.

He swears he can hear Luca say "aww" which pretty much sums it up.

Shane's eyes catches Ilyas gaze again and smiles so softly and Ilya wants to sink into these deep pools of brown- when Shane's smile turns a bit lopsided, an eyebrow arches up.

He barely breaks eye contact when he quickly adjust his stand, swinging his stick with his right hand and slapping the puck right between Wyatts skates into the goal.

"Fuck", Ilya whispers, suprised and more than half horny in under a second. "Did you just-"

He looks at where Shane's left hand still rests on his.

"Score a goal, one handed? Sure I did", Shane grins smugly but lya can feel Shane squeezing his own gloved hand.

"Holy shit, Hollzy", Wyatt hollers, "Thats cheating, by the way. Can't shoot while being all cutesie with your husband."

"That's so cool!", Luca skates closer and waves his phone in Ilya's face. "I got it all on video!"

Shane's gives Ilya a puzzled look and Ilya knows he has a lot of explaining and probably even more apologising to do. After that he will give Shane a mind-blowing blowjob the very moment they are alone. Probably two. Shane definitely earned it.

Later he cuts all three videos of him asking Shane to hold his hand into one edit and uploads it with the caption "If he wanted to, he would 😌💅"

(Harris gets inspired by the video and convinces Wiebe to let Shane and Ilya do one training session where they hold hands the entire time. Noone is suprised they still manage to score more goals than anyone else. Harris is delighted to have some excellent footage for the Cens Instagram channel and captions it with "Why aren't you holding your teammates hand right now?")

The video breaks hockey twitter containment.

[artemis-the-sinister]

The in universe hockey fandom definitely calls Shane and Ilya a black cat/golden retriever couple, but they also get it completely backwards who is the cat and who is the dog

[artemis-the-sinister]

People on here unironically be like “i can characterize Shane Hollander better than that hack Rachel Reid” and then their Shane is a self insert mary sue who has righteous screaming fits at his best friends for moderately sassing his boyfriend and experiences 1649402 acts of racism every day and is about to fall over any day now from his anorexia that he somehow has while playing professional hockey #theirshane

[irresponsibility101]

every time someone moves bood off the first line an angel loses its wings

[gurlsrool]

happy pride, I’m haunted by the fact that I’ve seen multiple people say they’re glad Shane’s sex condo was cut from the show because it made them feel “icky” and like “Ilya was Shane’s dirty little secret”. I do have to question what some people think this series is even about

[artemis-the-sinister]

So much of fanfiction writing is about overcoming internalized homophobia and embracing your authentic self by coming out of the closet that people have turned being in the closet and having internalized homophobia into a Morally Bad Thing. And that means characters who start out there are actually being kinda evil and have to have a redemption arc about it. Because every day the internet is reinventing Puritanism.

[lavenderprose]

I KNOW this shit is not going to make me friends and I understand the concepts of #myshane and #yourshane and DLDR and kink tomato and all of those things, I am read up on the doctrine, I understand it. However at some point it stops being about preferences and interpretations and starts being about, at best, a genuine misunderstanding of what dominant and submissive mean (hint: dominant does not equal top and submissive does not equal bottom, sex does not inherently involve submission or domination, etc.) and at worst a genuine distaste for the concept of Dom/sub dynamics as a whole, especially dominants, ESPECIALLY sadistic dominants and especially those roles as they apply to MLMs who occupy strict roles in their relationship. I don't have the time or energy to articulate it all right now but at some point fandom decided that Everyone Should Switch and, thus necessarily, that any other dynamic is problematic, due to being heteronormative and/or fetishistic. It's an incredibly bizzare take, especially given that these dynamics have existed and been a huge part of the queer experience for...basically ever. It absolutely grinds my gears to see it implied that a man cannot be dominant and a staunch top and still feel cherished and appreciated by his partner. That in order to be truly emotionally available, he must submit or bottom. I just do not GET the cognitive dissonance that comes into play. Likewise I don't understand the unwillingness to acknowledge that some people do not WANT to top. Under any circumstance! Yes you can be submissive and still top. Yes you can be dominant and bottom (This more than anything is something I see people REFUSE to understand) but at a certain point you have to make yourself understand that some people DO NOT switch. By any meaning of the term. And it's morally neutral and it doesn't mean you're selfish or controlling or in any way wrong.

[artemis-the-sinister]

I’m so tired of people in this fandom treating Shane’s friendships like some sort of Morality Ranking where you get points for being queer or a woman and get points taken away for perceived homophobia and slights against Ilya. It’s not at all the way Shane himself thinks about his friendship and smacks of the kind of smug liberalism that lives in internet echo chambers only to die upon contact with people in the real world. Worst of all, it takes no nuance or consideration of how people grow and change over time and with exposure to people with different struggles into mind. None of this is about Shane as a character, it’s entirely about how people in this fandom want to turn Shane into a perfect little victimized male Mary Sue where your moral purity is based on how much you like and are liked back by specifically Shane.

[faelapis]

sometimes i worry that *i'm* wrong and SU is bad/rushed/blah blah. then i remember whites fragile need to be perfect and ego defense of thinking she's fixing things. i remember how its perfectly mirrored by stevens need to fix others. how its both beautifully symbolic in CYM an made more explicit and heart-rending in future.

yeah that shit rules. white being reformed is great. its the ultimate rebuttal to the ideology that only good/useful/perfect people deserve to live- which is exactly the standard white held herself and everyone else to. it mirrors stevens arc of selfless heroism. it mirrors the toxic, insecure selflessness thats plagued everyone from pearl to jasper to rose about what it means to "deserve" to live it ties into "love like you" of how learning self-love is intertwined with loving others. it ties into how steven can't let go of his hero role until he's confronted by *literally* having his own mind in white's body, hating the idea of being like her yet ironically reacting exactly how she would - "this is someone bad for society, they should be shattered, this is what's best for everyone." trying to hurt her only hurting him. trying to help her helping all of gemkind - from the corrupted gems to dismantling a system that was held up by those exact ideals.

yeah no SU is fantastic. i'm so sad that its reputation is "oh well it wasn't that good, but it had some lgbt+ rep :)" which is just about the most condescending crap ever. i would gladly flip it. i think most cartoons that have come after SU haven't been that interesting, they've just been mostly generic stories with some lgbt+ rep.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I remember the exact moment I fell in love with Steven Universe and it wasn't after they made the alien invasion plot explicit, the part where everyone says it 'gets good', like you have to wade through the earlier stuff like it's a fucking slog and not some of the best children's television out there. I fell in love with SU in episode 2, at this moment:

"Well done, Steven! You saved most of Beach City!"

Yeah sure, plenty of shows do a silly 'haha things got broke' bit, but this was different. This was bringing home something important that they'd been saying all episode.

This was the episode that introduced the thesis statement of the whole show, and they managed to keep that thesis statement clear throughout the entire thing, all the way to the end: "If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs." Steven Universe is a show about how things are broken, and that's okay. Steven Universe is a show about how people are fucked up, and that's okay. It's not our job to be perfect or condemn everything that isn't; it's our job to say "okay, we've got this fucking mess here, and wallowing in blame and recrimination and shame and self-hatred isn't going to help. How do we move forward?" I had never, ever seen that message committed to in another children's show before Steven Universe, and it's one of the most important things you can tell any kid -- that the mess of their life is normal! That it's okay! We have stuff that sucks and we can move on with that!

Oh, sure, other shows will have a Very Special Episode every now and again where someone makes a bad mistake and has to be 'forgiven', or is unable to do something and has to live with it, or there's a tragedy or whatever. That's not what Steven Universe did. Steven Universe got comfortable with the mess on every level and kept coming back to it, both subtly and overtly. Steven can't save the moon goddess temple, Greg fakes a broken leg to be with his son and psychologically fucks up his magic powers and the other plot of the episode that's acting as a metaphor for the whole thing involves them literally fixing that problem by duct taping over it, the Gems don't know how to raise Steven and make him a false obstacle course to boost his confidence and he has to Uno Reverse their own trick on them and shoulder the responsibility of parenting them instead of the other way around. There's an entire episode that's just Peridot confirming that her people fucked up an area of the Earth so badly that nothing will ever grow there again and this isn't resolved by fixing it, but by other characters saying, "yeah, it's broken and it sucks and we can't stop that. How about we grow a garden literally anywhere else on the planet."

And this is why it confuses the fuck out of me when people bitch about Steven Universe being 'problematic' because things suck. Yeah! That's the entire fucking point of the show! Things are allowed to suck and be broken. "Ooooh it's nazi apologism because he forgave a warlord and she didn't get murdered onscreen or whatever" he didn't forgive her! He convinced her to stop warlording and has an uneasy alliance with her! She's fixing what she broke as best she can, just like every single other character in the show! Her perfectionism and purity and total inability to live with broken things and messy truths and people who are different, sometimes in harmful ways, was the entire problem that the whole show was about! And Steven beat it! Insistence that the Bad Guys get punished or removed and the Pure Good Guys get a clean ending with no moral quandaries is the audience taking Evil White Diamond's position. It's literally being the villain of the show.

[fractally]

If I can be real real about it I think a huge reason the fandom hates RR so much is they perceive their gay fanfic as just as good if not significantly better and they’re sitting around stewing like why aren’t *I* getting tv shows made of my work and getting to pal around with beautiful actors. She doesn’t deserve this I do!