A spoonful of peanut butter and a cupful of lies. @aseriesofstrangeletters - Tumblr Blog

Public transport is a type of horse and I'm a teenage girl who no one understands

The bus fucking bit me

I will probably get through this just like I have gotten through everything before but I need to be really stressed and scared first

corrodedparadox

You can draw whatever you want forever

Prints

pangur-and-grim

accepting the whole autism thing has actually brought me so much calm, because when I was kid everyone seemed instinctively repulsed by me and I never understood why. ESPECIALLY the adults! which is a little fucked, because who are you supposed to go to about bullying if the teacher is participating? and even my family members seemed disgusted by me on some level, so I was like a cartoon parody of a human being where my closest friends were my pet rats. but reading studies on autism now, and learning about the double empathy problem, and about how neurotypical people ARE repulsed by autistic people in an uncanny valley sort of way and DO dislike them upon first encountering them (unless, ironically enough, they’re told that they’re autistic) - that’s actually been so cathartic. especially now that I’m older and have an okay-ish handle on masking, and so am no longer live in a nightmare world where literally everyone in my life seems icked the fuck out. I don’t have to discount my early memories. I can be like ohhhhh yeah that’s just something that happens. I didn’t do anything particularly bad and it’s not that I wasn’t trying, I was just born with the cursed sigil on my forehead. like ohhhhh they were reacting to the curse, ohhh okay, cool cool, that’s actually fine. I’m actually alright with that.

pangur-and-grim

it also helps to look at old photos, because it’s like jesus christ, that’s literally just a little kid. like nobody that small should think that they’re that hated

chonylolu

me: I have GOT to get weirder!

also me when I do get weirder: *visibly shaking* I'm going to be killed with hammers by everyone for being a freak.

goldensunset

i’m really sorry about my behavior. you see, growing up, my family- *remembers blaming all my problems on other people is really annoying and unhealthy* i mean. i am responsible for all the evils of this world and i bear sins like the sky bears the stars

lavenderpanic

all of my writing is actually just thinly-veiled fantasy about being seen at your worst and still being loved

cheaphalloweencostume

“everyone is mad at me and they just won’t tell me” —> “no one has said anything about being mad at me and i haven’t done anything to warrant being mad at so if someone is silently fuming about me and not saying anything that’s their problem and actually quite weird of them and i can effortlessly move on with my life”

cheaphalloweencostume

this took SUCH a huge deal of unlearning because, like so many of you, i came out of a home where being quietly in trouble WAS the default state, and i DID grow up not just with the assumption but borderline religious conviction that Everyone Is Mad At Me, I Am Bad, I Must Exist In A Constant State of Attempting to Pacify The Natural Rage I Inspire In Everyone. and no it actually turns out that my family are the freaks . and yours are too

cheaphalloweencostume

“this isn’t true because i DEFINITELY silently fume at people in the hopes they’ll figure out what they did and apologize” that’s not good. you shouldn’t do that

“this isn’t true because the ex-friendship that traumatized me ended explosively after they were mad at me and never told me why” that’s not good. they shouldn’t be doing that

“i don’t think this is true because my current friend group is constantly icing me out until i figure out what ive done to upset them and properly apologized without being told” hey thats not good. they should not be doing that

if the peacefulness of your relationship with someone (familial, romantic, friendly, anything) can be destroyed by effective communication/asking them for effective communication, you have got to get out of there. if you can’t get out of there, you’ve got to throw away any ideas about what that person thinks of you because they have their own shit to figure out before they can accurately read anyone else

dunglizard

I fear “I Have No Mouth & I Must Carol” isn’t gonna win the ugly sweater design contest at the company holiday party

medievaljournalist

lol i tricked you i actually have no soul or interiority. my actions are merely a hollow imitation of a complete being. and you totally fell for it too

girlwyrm

j-tee

SHAPE HELL

Yup.

j-tee

SHAPE HELL 2

molabuddy

mad dog

hectarehollyhock

my favorite thing about max jägerman is that he starts out as a pretty straightforward stereotype but he gets more menacing the more you learn about him. the way that in literal monster he acknowledges that he'll peak in high school but he'll take the opportunity to have power while he still can. his entire pasqualli's parking lot monologue, where he reveals that the hatchetfield high school hierarchy isn't really about societal responses to undesirable characteristics in the nerds. it only exists because max acknowledges that every dictatorship needs scapegoats, and max is a damn good dictator. the way that he calls himself a god, and he's right. because when he says that he brings light to dark, the stage lights shift on cue. he interrupts cool as i think i am and talks to the audience directly. and not just in cool as i think i am- in literal monster, he talks to us for his entire verse. reality bends to his will. he's aware of the fourth wall. genre-savvy, too - he plays (and he is, self-admittedly, playing the role of) the coming of age high school bully to a tee, down to the daddy issues and the peaked in high school bit and the forbidden fruit crush and the "that was the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me" last minute switch-up. and when max dies, reality bends to his will again ("nerdy prudes will pay. nerdy prudes must die") but this time it's to bring him back at all costs. and the show goes from a coming of age high school comedy to a slasher. and he plays the slasher villain just as well. he's such a fascinating, entertaining antagonist. i love him so much.