Ganymede

bi, nb - pick a pronoun, any pronoun!

[fairycosmos]

fucked that you can’t fix other people especially when you really care about them. Oh so im just supposed to be there for you while you suffer. like a useless cunt gargoyle

[fruitviking]

Werewolf clichés, or lycantropes

[whitmanic]

You want everyone to be able to slot into a pride and prejudice au but no one can accurately fit into the niche that Mr Darcy and Elizabeth have cornered which is completely and uniquely deranged and sophisticated in a way no marvel character, nay, not even an over watch character, can dare compete with

[whitmanic]

[submalevolentgrace]

miss piggy: you are sad and pathetic and small and far too green, both your status and wealth are an embarrassment, and your mother's voice is shrill and painful... un. like. moi! *hair swish*

kermit: *stunned open mouth silence*

miss piggy: yet every day since i first saw you at the dance all i have been able to think about is how you are suitable for nothing in life but to be my bride! you are below me in every possible way but you simply must let me marry you!

kermit, flailing uncontrollably: THIS IS YOUR IDEA OF A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL?!?!

[olyphant-tim]

SANTA CLARITA DIET + text posts

[mizeliza]

[april]

ⓘ Tip If you feel unfulfilled by how you spent your time today, you can stay up late to try to combat the sense of dissatisfaction. This will ensure that you feel even worse tomorrow.

[animatedtext]

[l3ominor]

[cecenyss]

I wish I was a muppet so I could flail uncontrollably with no consequences. And for the scrunch

[feyburner]

I do think it’s funny when headcanons are presented as objective character facts bc I get “He would not fucking say/do that” as much as the next guy but I must also humbly acknowledge its powerful cousin named “A skilled enough writer could make me believe he would”

[foone]

Christmas advice for ladies (crossposted from Old Weird Scotland on mastodon, with permission)

I want you all to keep this in mind!

[toastbutteregg]

[hearthflower-deactivated2023120]

“spirit of the flowers” tiles manufactured in 1874

[making-you-in-mtg]

[machinot]

when u look at 2017 and think “oh that’s only like 3 years ago” and it’s actually 12,000 years ago and everything is gone and everyone you know has been reduced to ash and the world is completely different

[raisinchallah]

sex is so boring and passe but things that are metaphorically sex but weirder will never go out of style

[valtsv]

trusting the process has led me to places i wouldn't go with a gun

[valtsv]

it gets worse before it gets better but kitten i'll be honest if it doesn't get better soon daddy is going to lie down directly in the path of the boulder and let it roll

[caruliaa]

maybe cain wldnt have killed abel if they had video games to healthily channel the violence between siblings. unfortunately back then the only smash brothers they had was smash brothers head in with a rock