Nobody: "There was this little birdie, who didnât even know how to fly yet. Then one freezing cold night, in the middle of winter, he tumbles out of his nest and lands on the ground. Well, he starts going, âChirp, chirp, chirp,â like crazy because he was damn nearly freezing. Lucky for him, along comes this cow, sees him, and feels sorry for him. So she lifts her tail, and *splat* drops this steaming hot cow pie right on him! The little birdie is nice and warm again, but heâs still not happy and keeps going, âChirp, chirp, chirp, chirp,â louder than ever ! Close by, a coyote was minding his own business, and as soon as he heard the bird's chirping, he quickly came to see what was going on. The moment he got there, he instantly noticed the small bird chirping happily. Being a cunning coyote tat he was, an idea soon popped into his head. He reaches out a paw, grabbed the still happily chirping bird by the wing and pulls him out of the cow pie... cleaned him thoroughly and ... *gulp* ... ate him in a single mouthful!"
Jack Beauregard: "And I also figured out the moral to your grandpaâs story, the one about the cow that covered the little bird in cowpie to keep him warm, and then the coyote hauled him out and ate him. Itâs the moral of these new times of yours: Folks that throw dirt on you arenât always trying to hurt you, and folks who pull you out of a jam arenât always trying to help you. But the main point is, when youâre up to your nose in shit, ... shut up and keep it to yourself, before some coyote comes by and eats you before you even realize!"