unedited so i apologize for any grammatical errors or whatever. i made this bc a sudden idea came to me🥹
---
It was around 1am when y/n felt herself sway in her seat.
Books, answersheets, pens, sticky notes, her laptop, and a variety of snacks to keep her awake but failed were scattered at desk. It was the last week of the first semester and she's trying to rush all of her academic backlogs.
Such is the life of a senior student leader with other commitments. Always the last to catch up with academic requirements and classes because of her duties.
She shook herself awake, forcing her hand to continue writing. Her eyes were drooping, but she persevered.
"Get it together, y/n. One last chapter THEN you can go to bed." she willed herself.
But she's been staying up for weeks now. Dark circles are more than evident under her eyes. She's lost weight as well, and she's been easily stressed nowadays.
So it was hard to battle sleep.
"Bub?" came a familiar voice. Normally, she'd get excited and awake whenever she hears the endearment, but tonight, she's a dead man.
Chan cups her cheeks gently, stilling her from swaying in her seat as she battled sleep. His eyes strayed to her paper, words not evident, but random squiggles she perhaps thought were answers.
"Baby, you're not even writing answers anymore." He chuckles lightly as he takes away the pen from her hand. Y/n tries to grab it back... weakly.
"No, I can make it... I'm almost thereeee." she whines, eyes half closed, trying to reach for her pen. Chan keeps one hand on her cheek while the other puts the pen away.
"Y/N Baby, it's been three weeks. You've been busy since the start of the month. Your body is probably hating you right now. Let me take care of you please?" Chan gently prods, almost whispering.
Y/n and Chan's friends have all been concerned about her state. She's NEVER had decent sleep since the start of the month, BARELY eats her meals and snacks on time, and RARELY goes out with them.
It worried them so much that even Chan excuses himself from practices earlier than the rest now so he could monitor y/n.
"But I need all these. I wanted all these." she counters.
"I know, bub, and I appreciate that and I'm so so proud of you... but what's the whole point of achieving all these if you're gonna lose yourself in the process, hmm?"
At this, y/n's eyes flutter open, now aware of where this is going.
She knows damn well that he's right. But she just can't help but panic sometimes, knowing that the rest of her classmates have already submitted theirs and she's probably the last one left, although she's been given a grace period.
"Let's go to bed, please? It's already Sunday. We can sleep in. You can get some rest, and I'll be with you since we won't have practice. We can do anything you want except these academics. Please, baby? Have time for yourself too?" Chan barters. He tries his best at making puppy eyes at y/n, hoping his aegyo would work on her like it does with his hyungs.
Y/n sighs as she leans her forehead on Chan's. He closes his eyes and nuzzles his nose gently on to hers, then giving it a small kiss later.
"Whatchu think, bub? Like my proposal?"
"Fine, you win. But only because I'm so so drained now. How do you do it, Channie? How do you get things done and not get guilty and tired at all?" she asks, eyes closed.
"Who told you I don't get tired and guilty? I do. I just don't show it that much." He admits.
"Why though?"
"Because I don't want to worry any of you guys."
Y/N looks at Chan, his eyes on hers, his hands finding their way back to her cheek.
"I've learned to handle myself earlier on because of the nature of my career. And the hyungs helped me a lot too. If you'll allow me, I can help you work that out as well. Because I love you and I am concerned and I want to take care of you the way you derserve to." he lovingly explains.
Y/n smiles sleepily, allowing her whole body to lose its tension. She drops forward to surrender to Chan, who giggles on the floor as he catches her.
"There's my baby girl." he coos, as he sits up, caressing her hair carefully. She snuggles closer to him.
"Oh my God, I've been craving this for a whole week. I really DO deserve this." she exclaims, making Chan laugh lovingly.
He adjusts to carry her towards their shared bedroom in y/n's apartment. Gently, he lays her down before climbing in after her. Y/n immediately attaches herself to him the minute he settles in.
Chan lets y/n lay her head on his chest. He showers her head with little kisses while he rubbed random shapes on her back, lulling her to sleep.
"We'll talk more in the morning bubs. Get some rest, hmm?" Chan says, grabbing a blanket to tuck them both in.
"Mmkay..." y/n sleepily agrees.
Chan was about to close his eyes when his phone rings. A call.
"Hello-?"
"WHERE'S THE UPDATE, CHILD? IT'S BEEN TEN MINUTES. ARE YOU HOME YET?" comes Seungcheol's prodding voice. Apparently, because of his worry for Y/N, Chan forgot to update his hyungs who were still probably hanging out together after practice.
"Sorry, hyung." Chan fumbles, as he sets the call on video, showing y/n on his chest, hoping it'd serve as an explanation.
"You got us worried here you know? How can we have ber when- Oh my God, am I seeing this correctly?" asks the older male.
Chan chuckles as he brings the phone back to his face.
"Yep. She almost fell from her seat when I came in. That's why I wasn't able to call. Sorry."
"No, it's okay. What's important is she's getting rest now goddamn... she's hard to take care of sometimes. Proud of you for being patient with her, Lee Chan." Seungcheol salutes from the other side.
"Did I hear right?" Comes Jeonghan's voice as he and Joshua comes into the picture. The three eldest are like real brothers to Chan and even y/n. They worry for them like real siblings would, that's why Chan can always go home earlier than the rest, so he can care for y/n too.
And when y/n is with them, they surround her protectively, along with the other members especially when they're out, since fans can get really pushy sometimes.
"Finally, she's getting sleep. I hope tomorrow we can go out too." Joshua sighs.
"Nope. I promised her we can sleep in and we'll do whatever we want- except those freaking acads."
"Then maybe we could go there instead? We'd bring snacks for her and whatever else she needs. Tell her in the morn-"
Joshua and the other boys stop when they all saw y/n stir in her sleep. Chan immediately caressed her hair to lull her back.
"Channie?" she blinks, trying to lift herself away from him. The boys on the screen signal him to end the call and just message instead but y/n sees them.
"Oh..." she starts as her eyes adjust to the screen.
"Heyyy, y/n! We were just checking in. Go back to sleep." Seungcheol smiles.
Still really tired and sleep drunk, y/n hums. Chan smiles as he helps her lie back down.
"We'll message tomorrow Chan. Get some sleep too. It's been a long day." Seungcheol orders, his leadership shining through the older brother figure that Chan sees in him.
Chan does a salute as the call ends. He puts the phone on dnd on the bed side table and snuggles lower to cuddle with y/n, already going deeper in her sleep.
---
The next morning, Chan wakes up first. Y/N is no longer on him, but is still asleep soundly next to his chest. Her arms wrapped around his middle while her legs tangled with his. He blinks as rays of light sneaks through the blinds, and smiles as his eyes start to focus on the sleeping beauty next to him.
Gently, he carefully carressed her face, using his finger to trace out her freckles that he loved.
Y/n hums and stirs, and Chan freezes for a second. Slowly like a cat basking in daylight, she stretches, hitting Chan's chin on the process.
This was enough to wake her up.
"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry Channie." she goes, caressing the spot she just hit.
Chan laughs it off as he catches her hands, kissing them both gently.
"It's good morning first before that, my love." He says, pulling her close and settling his lips to the top of her head. With a contented sigh, he inhales her scent like his morning coffee.
"Good morning, bub." she giggles. It was music to his ears.
"Good morning, bub. How was your sleep?" He asks, brushing her hair away from her face and tucking strays behind her ear.
"It was good. Really good. I think I dreamed of the oppas..."
Chan laughs loudly at this, his laugh tickling y/n's ears. God, how she loved his laugh.
"It wasn't a dream, my love. They called last night and you saw them." he explains, pinching her cheeks softly then booping her nose.
He was overflowing with love for her so early in the morning, and he couldn't stop himself. Especially now that y/n has finally gotten some rest that she so much deserved.
"Oh they did? So they're coming over?"
"Uh huh. Later in the afternoon."
Y/n reaches over to Chan's side, where her phone was also placed. He gently holds on to her waist as she lifted herself on top of him.
"It's 9am..." she announces.
"Wanna have breakfast? Or brunch?"
"Uhm... I still kinda wanna sleep more." she admits sheepishly as she sinks back to her place besides Chan.
"Then let's sleep more."
"How about the guys?" she worries. "We might oversleep. How are we gonna prepare?"
"Well, I could tell them to come for dinner instead so we could still have more time to sleep and prepare after. What do you think, bub?" he asks, pulling her close.
Y/n takes her time to answer, and stays silent. It fooled Chan into thinking she fell back to sleep.
He was about to snuggle closer and go back to sleep when suddenly, y/n jerks up, her head hitting the same spot on Chan's chin she already hit earlier.
"Owwwww" they both say in unison.
"I'm so so so sorry bubby." She frantically says, laughing. "I was going to try to kiss you!" she worries.
"Double that then." he teases her, tending to his aching chin.
Y/n caresses the spot, then kisses it. She then locks eyes with Chan.
"You can hit my chin one million times and I'd still be head over heels for you after." he whispers.
"I'll kiss all your pain away a million times more then." she whispers back.
"Why are you whispering?"
"Because you just did. Why ARE we whispering?" she giggles. Chan sighs.
Gently, he grabs her face in his hands, and softly lands a kiss to her forehead.
He stayed there for a bit, savoring the moment. Y/n closes her eyes and runs her hands on Chan's arms, enjoying the vulnerability and sweetness of the moment.
"I love you-" they say in unison again, after Chan breaks off. They laugh again.
This time, it was y/n's turn.
As they giggled at their antics, she pulled Chan by the collar of his shirt, and gently crashed her lips on his. It took him by surprise, but he quickly adjusts, burrying his hands into her hair and softly playing with them as he returned the kiss.
"God, I love you." He speaks first as they broke it off to catch their breaths. He peppers her face with little kisses, making her smile.
"I love you..." she replies, kissing the top of his nose in return. Chan pulls her back to his chest. His heartbeat drumming loudly, lulling her back to sleep after all the fluff.
"Go back to sleep, my love. We've got a lot of time." he tells her. Y/n nods, loving every moment of her rest. Her deadlines flying out of her thoughts.
---------------------
a/n: guyyyyys it's been so long since i last wrote something here😭 uni has been so stressful lately. Maybe that's why I wrote this in this light and theme. I badly need a Dino in my life too.
Anyways, I want to write more😭 someone give me prompts or something.
And as always, if you loved this as much as I loved writing it, please leave a comment or reblog so other people would see my works too🥹👉🏻👈🏻🤍
-i think i made this one long, but I loved the thinking process I put into this.
---------------------
It was an hour before midnight when y/n decides to go to the lagoon. It was very out of the blue, especially for someone like y/n who believes in the power and magic of having planner journals and an organized life in general.
But things had been pilling heavily on her shoulders lately. Academics, org work, her assistantship to their department, and other personal matters that's been bothering her for ages. So maybe, her conscience had enough and forced her to break habit and get a breather...
...by the sea. Before midnight.
The sky was clear, and a few stars are sprinkled on it. The beach, clean from light pollution since there are no cottages or businesses there, is illuminated by the light of the full moon.
"Peace... I hope." Y/n mutters, as she gets out of her car, hugging her cardigan to herself as the evening breeze greeted her. The crisp, October scent of the sea hugging her.
She believes she's alone in the area tonight, except for maybe a few university kids not too close but not too far from where she's walking towards, are having a bonfire. There are tents surrounding the DIY pit, and the music reached from there to where she stood.
By the light of the moon, she sets up her inflatable pool on the sand. She then throws in her favorite knitted blanket, some throw pillows, her small speaker, and her snacks.
Stepping away to admire her handiwork, y/n smiles to herself as she snaps a photo that will probably never make it to her private instagram dump that only a few close friends are aware of. Maybe because she's feeling extra emotional tonight, and she didn't really feel like sharing that info to her small followers.
But y/n doesn't go inside her little fort. She stands there, staring at it, then kicks her sandals aside, only to head towards to where the waters softly lapped at the tiny rocks on the lagoon.
Shivering slightly, she lets her feet meet with the cold water, and she lets out an exhale.
Slowly, she looks up at the sky, towards the moon, and the longer she stood there in awe, the more her tears threatened to spill.
"How could you be so beautiful, even in your different phases?" she whispers to the moon, wishing it could hear her and reply.
"How come you're always admired, doesn't matter if you're full or not?"
She blinks, and she feels a stray tear trickle down her cheek, and that alone was enough to make her look away.
As she brings her head back down, her tears spilled too. And she furiously wiped at her face with the sleeves of her cardigan.
"I wish people would look at me the way they look at you too." she whisper shouts to herself and the moon.
"They'd even go as far as too wait until the clouds part, just to get a glimpse of you." she furiously adds.
She walks away from the waters, and flops on the sand. She takes one quick look back at her fort, then lies back down, tears still streaming down her face, and hiccups building from her throat.
She sobs in silence, the gentle waves drowning any of her noise, as she continues to jealously look at the moon.
Until she suddenly feels angry.
"You know what. I actally hate you. Little miss have-it-all." she picks a fight with the moon. Childish and silly, she's aware. But she does ít nonetheless.
"Who do we hate tonight?" a voice suddenly comes to being, making y/n sit bolt upright.
"Who- Woozi?" y/n asks, in what she hopes is a defense position incase the familiar voice did not belong to the Woozi she knows.
"Calm down, yes, it's me." Woozi confirms as he comes closer, plopping on the sand beside y/n.
As Woozi lies on the sand, y/n lets out a frustrated breath as she glares at the man beside her, looking back at her with a stupid grin on his face.
"Did I scare you?" he asks, trying not to laugh.
"Yeah, and apart from that, you ruined my good cry." she replies sulkily as she lies down on the sand too.
There was a few beats of silence before Woozi asks again.
"I thought you wouldn't make it to the bonfire. But why are you so far from the rest of us?"
"Okay, first off, what do you mean bonfire? I wasn't informed." y/n replies, finally realizing that the guys at the bonfire are actually her classmates. Screw her episode tonight for making her mute her phone notifications that she missed on a class gathering.
"Well, now you now." Woozi shrugs, earning himself another side eye from y/n.
"I don't feel like socializing anyway. So it doesn't really matter." Y/n sighs, drawing Woozi's attention.
This time, Woozi turns to his side, anchoring himself as he leans on his elbow in the sand.
"Why ARE you here crying by the way?" He finally asks. Y/n saw it coming, but she wished he would never ask.
Screw the moon.
Suddenly, she's mad again. Like a child, she blames the moon in her head. "Did you tell Woozi about my rants? How dare you!"
"I... I'm just overwhelmed." she says quietly. Her whispers swallowed by the sea.
"Happens to all of us, love." Woozi says, emotionless as he often sounds like, though y/n knows he's sincerely trying his best to come up with something to comfort her.
See the thing is, Woozi and Y/N have been best friends since the dawn of time.. well, at least for both of them. That's why they're that comfortable with each other, going as far as calling themselves names whenever needed or when they feel like it.
Their parents were best friends in high school, which was how they knew each other, and they lived in the same subdivision until they moved out for college. Even then, they moved together in the same apartment complex and enrolled in the same university, 4 hours away from home. The only difference is that though they're in the same department, they took different programs.
Despite y/n's belief, Woozi DOES know her like the back of his hand. He knows when her anxiety kicks in. He knows when she needs ice cream and when she needs coffee. He knows when she needs to hear him say "it's okay," and knows when she needs a hug instead.
Y/n on the other hand, is the same for Woozi. She knows when he wants company and when he wants to be alone. She knows when he needs beer and deep talks and when he needs chips and a movie. She knows when to keep her distance, and when he wants to have hugs.
What she doesn't know, is that because she knows Woozi so well, the guy actually fell for her, his best friend.
That's why when Woozi saw the familiar black Chevy roll into the beach parking, he knew y/n needed someone to talk to... only it's one of those times she feels like she's a burden, so she doesn't really hit Woozi or any of their friends up for a talk. And so despite the bonfire swinging in full, Woozi exits as quietly as he can, and walks towards y/n and her small fort.
"How come you're always so calm and collected, Uji?" Y/n asks after a few beats, stretching like a cat on her back then rolling to her side to face Woozi.
"I'm not. You know well enough there are times when I want to let go and let loose, right?"
Y/N nods.
“There. That's my secret." he deadpans.
Y/n rolls her eyes at him as she gets up and dusts herself off as she makes her way to her fort. Woozi following close by.
"It is!" he laughs, catching up to her.
"Shut up." she says, trying not to laugh.
Y/n and Woozi take one last dust-off then settle into the fort, snuggling together like they would usually do as kids and even till now that they're grown, especially during movie nights with emotional films.
"What I meant, y/n, is that... I think, in order to be whole, you have to lose some parts of yourself too. Do you get what I mean?" he asks, as he grabs her hand, letting his thumb draw lazy circles at the the back of it.
"Uh-huh. Kinda." y/n whispers back, wanting to bask in Woozi's warmth that's never failed in making her calm down.
Woozi let's out a sigh, to which y/n looks up at him.
"Okay. How about this. Think of a tree. A tree has to let go of some leaves in order for it to grow new ones so it could still be a tree." Woozi explains, as his eyes train on y/n's.
Y/n blinks twice, letting the example sink in, and she finally understands.
"OH!" she exclaims, unconsciously squeezing Woozi's hand in the process. "I get it now. Okay."
Woozi laughs softly as he brings y/n's head close to his chest. Y/n follows and she snuggles further into Woozi's warmth.
"You know... same goes for the moon. It has to look incomplete to us at some point, then go back to its full form, for it to be considered OUR moon. Because if it stayed full forever, then our world might have a major problem." Woozi teases, but y/n still sees the sense in it.
"I know, I get it now. Stop rubbing more examples to my face." y/n snaps, rolling her eyes playfully at her best friend to which he just laughs.
Seeing Woozi laugh, or even making him laugh like tonight, was no easy task. Rarely does y/n see and hear Woozi's laugh like that, because the guy always just snickers or in most days, just smiles and keeps the rest of his emotions and expressions to himself.
So y/n laughs along, infected by the energy that Woozi gave.
After a few moments, they stay silent. The comfortable one. And they found themselves looking at the moon together.
"The moon looks beautiful, doesn't it?" Woozi suddenly says, rubbing small circles on y/n's shoulder, where his arm was draped, keeping her close to him.
Now y/n is no stranger to romance. The reason why she took literature as her program was because she loves the hidden meanings in words ever since she started reading at the young age of 9.
She also knew damn well that Woozi, despite being so silent and cold looking to the rest of the world most of the time, is a hopeless romantic who also knew about the language of literature... and that what he just said, actually means "I love you.".
But y/n, clueless y/n, just took the words literally. She let her emotions show it at least. Because deep inside, she wished it did mean what she hoped it would.
The words "I love you."
She liked Woozi. She loved him dearly. But she's so scared. She didn't want to risk their long term friendship incase something goes wrong if they ever attempt to dip their feet into romantic relationships together.
Plus, incase the sentence did mean what she hoped it would, then damn, that's sudden.
"Y/n, are you listening?" Woozi suddenly pulls her out from her thoughts. His voice a whisper that only the both of them could hear.
"Hmm? You said the-"
"The moon looks beautiful, y/n." He repeats.
And y/n sees it. The glimmer in his eyes. Something is there, and she is filled both with a sudden surge of hope, longing... and fear.
Y/n plays it dumb as she looks swims back up from the addictive abyss of Woozi's eyes and turns her gaze to the moon.
"Yeah. Yeah it does." she replies, hoping she could just say "I love you too" instead, if ever Woozi meant his earlier statement that way.
But then the unexpected happens for y/n, the second Woozi opens his mouth to say another sentiment.
"The moon looked very beautiful to me every night, in any phase, ever since we moved into the same complex." He started. And y/n knew where it was headed.
Her heart hammered on her chest, and it took all of her braincells to make her heart calm the fuck down.
"And when clouds are blocking it, or when it doesn't appear at all... well, at least there's you." He adds rather softly, like it's a secret he only wants to share with her and not to passerbys who could hear.
Y/n's breath hitched, and Woozi's eyes widened at the realization of why Y/n reacted that way.
"I... Woozi, I-"
"You don't have to say anything, you know. I know the risks. But I'll dive in head first and take it anyway." he chuckles, looking away.
Y/n stares at her best friend for a full minute, and when she found her voice, she says:
"I like you too, you know."
Woozi's head whips back to look at y/n, his hair tickling her cheeks in the process. She smiles as she looks at his bewildered expression, as if he didn't see this one coming.
Y/n was rather calm as she faced the confession, knowing that she herself was scared shitless at first, and even back then when she first realized that she had feelings for her best friend. All these was very unexpected after all.
"Are you for real right now?" Woozi asks, suddenly out of character, shocking even himself.
Y/n just smiles as she brushes off the hair that covered his eyes. "Yes," she then whispers.
Woozi wanted to shout, to scream, to jump around like a kid that got a bag full of candy in halloween, but instead, he tears up.
"Oh no, why are you crying?" Y/n asks, in between suppressed laughter as she gently wiped at Woozi's tears.
"I just... I thought..." he rambles, trying to collect himself.
"Hey, breathe, it's just me here. Go on," y/n encourages, though she herself is as nervous as he is right now.
"I just thought maybe I'll never get the chance to be with you as more than just friends who knew each other since birth. I thought I was a loser for life as long as I had these feelings for you because I thought you'd never like me the same way I like you." He suddenly gushes, no longer able to control himself.
Y/n smiles with adoration as she continued to caress Woozi's cheeks, catching the falling tears from his eyes with the pad of her thumb.
All of her earlier worries are gone now. Probably thrown to the depths of the sea in front of them.
"Dummy. I was scared of the same thing. I thought you would be so distant from me... nothing more, just friends. I know the risks too, and I'm scared of crossing the line. But Woozi, here we are. YOU crossed that line." she slowly says, still careful of her words.
Woozi looks at her, his eyes prodding her for more, until she says,
"I'm meeting you halfway, Uji. Don't you worry." and she gives him a smile that sets fireworks in his chest and he swore he could see stars falling even if there weren't much of them in the sky tonight because of the bright full moon.
Woozi was dumbstruck and lovestruck at the same time, that he couldn't stop himself from swooping in to kiss y/n swiftly on the nose.
She gasps, and covers her face as soon as Woozi pulls away, and the other finds it so endearing that he bursts in a fit of giggles as he gently pried her hands off her face, which was, blushing rather aggressively.
"Please don't do that again," she whispers in tiny, still blushing, but her lips tugging upwards in the corner says otherwise.
Woozi didn't listen, because he swooped in again to kiss her on the forehead this time.
And y/n gasps and squeals and jolts, but she immediately calms down and melts and sighs right after.
And it was perfect.
Woozi's eyes were closed as he pulled away, and y/n looks at him, smiling.
Minutes ago, she was expecting this night to be filled with rants and drama and getting things off her chest and her best friend comforting her and probably dragging her to the bonfire.
But this one works even better.
"I take it back. Keep doing it." Y/n says, unable to stop herself. The other just grins and sighs as he pulls her closer to him again.
"Alright, whatever you want." He says, this time, dropping another kiss to her head.
She smiles.
There was silence once more, but this time, it was heavy with anticipation of what's going to come next for the both of them.
They both did not see this coming, because they were blinded by their fears and what-ifs. But now that everything's out there, with the waves and the moon as their witnesses, then they could feel themselves let loose again.
"Y/n, you have absolutely NO idea how much I wanted to kiss you like that in so long." Woozi breaks the silence first. Y/n giggles.
"I swear." He furthers presses, laughing at himself for suddenly being so talkative and defensive. But he didn't care.
"It's okay, Uji. You can do it as much as you want now, I guess." y/n consoles him.
"But are you truly in this? Do you really want this as much as I do? I gotta know... I don't wanna overstep.."
Y/n gathers all her courage and prays to every existing higher being out there as she looked up at Woozi.
She presses a small kiss on his cheeks to answer him "Yes."
"I will wait for you, y/n. Take your time, yeah? I'll be here like I've always been." Woozi smiles as she pulls away.
"Don't wait for too long though. You know I'm in this too like you are." she grins, and it melts Woozi to his core so he pulls her even closer if that's even possible and he nuzzles his face on to her hair.
They bask in the moment and even exhale in unison, which makes them laugh again.
Woozi forgets about the bonfire, and y/n already forgot about her earlier reasons on why she came to the beach in the first place.
And they both just drift into comfortable silence in the company of each other's heart under the light of the full moon above.
-------------------------
Hi hello~ I'm back💃🏻
This took me three days to write because I wanted it to be perfect the way I envisioned it. It started when we went to the beach last week and we watched the full moon rise as the sun had set.
I've put a lot of emotions and attention to details here, and I loved every step of the process I took to finish this. So I hope you love it as much as I did and as much as the other fics y'all have loved as well.
As always, please like and reblog if you love it so other people could find my works as well🥹🙏🏻 hehe
"Finafuckingly." you grumble as you stretch from where you are seated. Soft cracking noises from your lower back fill your ear as you did so, making you wince, but at the same time, sigh in relief.
You silently pad towards your bed, BADLY craving that much deserved sleep. You know you have to report to the office at 10am later, so you better get that damned sleep.
Ever so gently, you lift the blanket from LeeKnow, who has been asleep since midnight. Poor baby couldn't wait for you to finish because he was tired from his own schedules as well.
As you successfully wiggle your way into the warmth of the blanket, you dared to press closer to LeeKnow whose back was turned to you. You wrap your arms around his middle while you burry your face into his back.
"B-bunny?" He suddenly mutters. "Whassamatter?"
"Shh. Go back to sleep. All is well." you assure him, pressing a kiss on to his back.
He goes silent again, and you feel his steady breathing. But as you tell yourself that he went back to sleep, he suddenly turns so he could face you.
"Hi..." he mumbles as his eyes slowly flutter open. "You haven't slept yet, have you?" he prods. Warm hands reaching out to rub your arms. Voice low and husky, laced with sleep and concern.
"Haven't yet." you confirm. He gives you a sorry smile as he reaches out to caress your cheek. "Sorry I couldn't stay up with you." he whispers.
"It's okay, love. I understand." you reply while stifling a yawn.
LeeKnow chuckles as he pulls your face gently closer to him, so he could plant a lingering kiss on to your forehead.
You sigh contentedly from the contact, allowing yourself to melt into his arms.
"Go to sleep, bunny. I'll be here." he whispers, as he wraps his arms around you while you adjust yourself lower, letting LeeKnow be the big spoon.
He gently guides your head to lay on his chest. His heartbeat forms a steady, calming rhythm, anchoring you down, and making you fall asleep faster.
He hums sleepily as he started stroking your hair with one hand while drawing lazy circles on your back with the other. All your stress over the paperworks due later in the day seeping out of your mind.
"I love you..." you trail off, as you finally feel sleep wash over you.
LeeKnow's heartbeat instantly thumped faster, and he feels your lips tug into a smile from his chest. He opens his eyes to look at you adoringly, before leaning down to pepper your head with lots of butterfly kisses.
"I love you more, y/n. So much." he whispers in between kisses, a smile on his own lips, while the love of his life finally drifts off to sleep in his arms.
-----------
It's literally 4:40am and I haven't slept yet because I have a presentation to make later in the afternoon. Haven't finished it yet, but I needed a breather AND sleep somehow.
I think this is my first time writing about Leeknow😗 im not sure. But I was pouting the whole time writing this bc duh i want someone like my fictional leeknow too😫😩
Anywaaaays~ I hope you liked this too, and as usual, please interact with my blogs so other people could find my works too!
"Y/N... y/n, wake up." your friend, Chan gently shakes you awake.
You were still in the student council's shared office with the student's technical committee. You were the secretary to the council President who's also your friend, LeeKnow, while on the other hand, your boyfriend, Han, is the chairperson of the tech. committee.
It's an overtime kind of shift today because tomorrow is the start of your university's anniversary week, and as the student leaders, you were placed incharge of the preparations for the grounds where booths and activities for students will be held.
"Mmm? What time is it? Sorry, I dozed off for a bit..." you slurred, as you rubbed at your eyes, willing yourself to wake and get up from your makeshift bed: one of the tarps for tomorrow as your bedding and Han's backpack as your pillow.
"No, it's okay. You did great today. I think you did the most today, together with LeeKnow," Chan explains as he kneels beside you. "I just need to get the tarp, we're gonna put it up now." he adds.
"Oh, right. My bad." you chuckle, feeling your cheeks turn red a little when you realize you've been sleeping on the welcome tarp.
You start gathering your stuff and helped Chan with the huge tarp. The other officers are doing the same with the smaller college banners.
"Where will we be hanging them?" you ask.
"Oh, don't worry. Changbin and I got this big one. You can just come along and check if we've hung it straight or skewed later." Chan offers.
"Oh, but-"
"Don't worry, y/n. Leave it to us." Changbin cuts in, as he gently takes your other end of the rolled tarp.
You let Changbin and Chan do the work as you look around looking for Han. Last you checked, he was in the office, sorting files on his laptop according to the flow of events starting tomorrow.
"You're awake. Thank God." Leeknow dramatically sighs from behind you. You roll your eyes at the sound, feeling a bit more awake now, courtesy of your friend's annoying comment.
"Looking for Han?" Leeknow asks as he passes by, a box filled with flaglets in his arms.
You nod your answer as you feel your pockets for your phone.
"He was outside the office not too long ago. I think he went to the CEO to have the program checked." Leeknow offered.
"Thanks, Pres." you smile a bit sarcastically which Leeknow returns.
You turn on your phone and look for your favorite contact, messaging him an update on your whereabouts within the campus for your next tasks. You sit on the floor, waiting for your message to be noticed, but to no avail.
Feeling like Han is indeed busy, you follow the guys and everyone else as they file outside the office, the midnight wind making you all shiver a little bit, especially you who just got up from a nap.
On your way to the main gate to fulfill your tasks, you finally see Han with some hired lights-and-sounds folks, probably explaining the plan for the lights, speakers, and main sound system.
You wave at him to check up on him, but he was too immersed with whatever they were talking about, so you just shrug it off and jog after the two guys in front of you.
"Y/N, can you check if it's good?" Chan calls out from the ladder as he and Changbin positions the tarp before attaching it to the ropes that will hold it up on the gate.
You do your best to direct them so it won't look skewed, even going as far as assisting Changbin's ladder when it suddenly wobbled a bit because he was leaning back too much when he was checking the tarp as well.
When your task was done, you sit on one of the plant boxes, leaning on to the railings there, watching the your two friends bicker over who ties the rope first and who keeps the tarp level.
There's noise around you, but you're used to it. The noise is filled with life and laughter. Your fellow officers and other student volunteers chattering over their tasks and laughing at the most mundane things. It's one of the most normal things for you. One you feel you can't even live without.
With the cool wind caressing you over the noise, you find yourself feeling sleepy again, so you fight with yourself in order to stay awake.
You force yourself to sit straight, away from the railing. You even try pinching yourself awake, and even bargaining with your brain that you have to stay awake... but to no avail.
"Baby..." a voice pulls you from behind, getting closer.
"There you are," calls the voice again, this time, directly behind you.
As you continue to fight to stay awake, you feel warm arms trapping you in an embrace from behind, doing a good job in keeping a bit of the cold out.
"Baby, you're freezing." Han exclaims as he burries his face on the crook of your neck, still hugging you from behind.
His teasing voice finally does the job of jolting you awake.
"Hannie... where were you?" you ask, voice laced with a hint of sleepiness.
Han turned your around his arms so you are now face to face. He cups your cheeks with his hands, squishing them around, making funny faces with you while his eyes are lit with adoration.
"I had to direct where the lights and speakers will be staying. I would've asked you to come with me earlier, but I saw you fast asleep on the floor beside me." he explains, hands still on your cheeks.
"So your bag..."
"Yeah, I used my bag to turn it into your own pillow because you were literally just sprawled on the floor, my love." He teases. He ruffles your hair a little bit, while his arm drapes around your shoulder.
"Oi! There you are." Chan calls out as he and Changbin approaches. Just as they were nearing you and Han, a loud snap echoed throughout the area, and the flapping sound of the banner falling came next.
"Oh shit." Han curses suddenly, all while suppressing a snort of a laugh.
"I TOLD YOU THE ROPE WASN'T STRONG ENOUGH!" Chan and Changbin say in unison, pointing at each other, daring each person to get the blame.
"Hannie, I gotta break those two off." You laugh, as you try to brush your boyfriend off. He laughs with you, but makes his hold tighter, as he maneuvers you closer to where dumb and dumber were having a debate on who's to blame with the tarp.
"Let's just put it back. Maybe find a thicker rope." You suggest, as you start to pick one corner of the tarp.
Han then stops you, grabbing the tarp instead.
"You go find a place to sit, baby. I'll handle this. And these fools." he winks, eliciting a giggle from you.
You did as you were told, giving in to the fact that you are indeed getting sleepier again, and the ladder may be high, but your height won't still be enough if you dare assist with the replacing of the huge banner.
Han then starts joking with the other two as they help one another in putting back the tarp, making sure it's extra secure this time. You on the other hand, find a spot under one of the big trees lining up the fence that runs along the gate.
As soon as your back hits the trunk, you feel your eyelid getting heavier. So, you decide to get a bit of shuteye while the boys worked.
---
Slowly, you feel yourself get gently shaken awake... and somehow, you feel like floating.
Your eyes flutter open, and then you realize, you are being tickled awake by a bunch of curly hairs on the back of a familiar head. A comforting familiar scent of flowers and coconuts wafting to your nose along with the scent of wet grass caused by fog and dew.
Han was humming along, as he carried you piggyback, unaware that you're already awake.
"Baby..." you whisper in his ear, trying to nuzzle closer to him if that's even possible... trying to make yourself feel warmer despite already wearing his windbreaker over your own sweater this time around.
"Shhh, relax baby. I'm taking you home. You fell asleep while we were going spiderman on the gate." Han jokes, tugging your lips into a smile.
Apparently, Han took the shortcut in the park from your campus to the apartment complex you both stay in. It was an 8 minute walk. "Even if home is miles away?" you follow up. Home is literally miles away from where you're both studying.
Han pauses dramatically in his steps, exaggerating a gasp. "Oh no. I'll be too tired by then!" He exclaims, making you giggle louder. Satisfied, he chuckles low, then resumes his walk.
"Well... home in the apartment, love." He says, stroking your thigh from where his hold was while carrying you.
You tap him on the shoulder, asking to be put down so you could walk beside him instead. He refuses.
"Eyyy, don't. We're almost there anyway." He tsks as the complex takes form in sight.
"You could've just woken me up." You tell him, smacking him gently on the chest from where your arms crossed to hold on to him.
"And wake you from your beauty sleep? No chance." He scoffs.
You reach your complex, and it was only then that he brings you down, just to immediately intertwine your hands together as you took the elevator to your floor. Comfortable and sleepy silence enveloping you both as you started going up.
When you reach your door, Han, being the gentleman that he is, walks in front of you. He punches your lock number and goes in before you do. A routine you've both been doing ever since you moved in to the same complex together.
He turns on your lights and sets down your stuff on your counter. Moving as quietly and swiftly as he could, he moves to your bathroom and prepares a hot bath.
You can't help but sigh as he does his usual stuff. Even after three years of being together, you still get butterflies everytime Han shows you his different love languages with you.
You silently move towards the bathroom, and he points to the sink. Here, he lets you do your skincare while he continues to check on the tub, making sure the temp and bubbles are just right.
"Let me see my baby." He coos once you finished cleaning your face. He gently takes your face in his hands, observing you with love eyes which makes you blush involuntarily.
"Perfect." He says, planting a sudden kiss on your nose.
"Your bath's okay. I'll leave you now. I'll wait for you on the sofa." He says, before stepping out.
"Thanks. You're the best." you hurry and he winks before closing the door.
You take your time with your bath, of course after working for a whole day both in the student center and campus field.
When you were done and changed with pajamas that Han managed to prepare for you, you step out of the bathroom, calling his name.
"Hannie I'm done, you can-" you stop in your tracks when you reach him in the sofa.
Han was already fast asleep while sitting on one end of the sofa. His mouth slightly open due to the hand he used to lean himself on to the arm of the sofa.
You coo at the sight, but you move to grab throw cushions and a blanket for Han. He's just as tired as you are, maybe even more, since he carried you home on his back, so you gently move him with effort so he could lie comfortably instead.
Before you tucked him in, you lean to give him a goodnight kiss on the forehead. But then, he suddenly tackles you so you land on top of him.
"I thought you were asleep!" you whisper shout, trying to wriggle free from his embrace, eyes still closed. He then starts to attack you with tickles on your sides, making you squirm in a fit of giggles.
"I was. But baby, you didn't have to tuck me in. That's my job. Besides, I was just getting shuteye while waiting for you."
You turn to face him, reaching out to pinch his cheek.
"Shuteye? Hannie, you were practically snoring and almost drooling on my sofa." You tease, with which he pretends to be offended.
"I was not!" He gasps, making you laugh for the nth time today.
You both share laughs, and after a few beats of silence, he scoots lower into the sofa to make you the big spoon.
"I'll take a nap for a bit my love. Then I'll go back to mine." He whispers, as he cuddles close to you, inhaling your scent fresh from the bath he prepared specially for you.
"Sure baby. Don't sleep on me." you tease him, knowing damn well that he'll end up sleeping in your place anyway, while he replies with a smirk.
Gently, you start to comb through his locks with your fingers, lulling him to sleep, as you felt his embrace on your middle gradually begin to loosen.
When you were sure he was asleep, you give him a long, lingering kiss on the crown of his head, and you whisper:
"I love you, Han Jisung."
as sincerely as you can, like you always do.
You feel him smile in his sleep against your chest, and that was enough to convince you to fall back to sleep that night again.
-----------------------------
Had fun writing this. Idk but I really really saw this in my head. LeeKnow as council president sounds "WHAT?!"
Also, Han working hard with the tech for the event feels so HIM somehow🥹✊🏻
Anyways, I hope y'all liked it! And as always, please like and reblogso other people could see my works too🥹🩷
Stifling a very large yawn, Y/N pulled a soft t-shirt over her head. It was her husband's t-shirt, one that he had most likely discarded earlier on in the day. Y/N snuggled into the neckline of the fabric and felt herself smile; it smelled exactly like him, warm, sweet, and incredibly addicting.
It had been a long day, and Y/N had previously been convinced that her social battery had been drained so much that she would never be able to communicate with another human being ever again.
Or, in realistic terms, for at least a week.
But once she had gotten home and slipped off her starchy clothes and replaced them with her husband's, Y/N felt herself slowly recharging. Her husband was the only person in the whole world who she wanted to see after a gruelling time; for some reason, he was the only one who didn't seem to exhaust her further. He rather replenished her energy, and he understood her better than anyone else … something that only aided in her refuelling.
Y/N yawned again as she removed the hair tie that seemed to be lacerating her head; as soon as her hair dropped, the woman groaned. A combination of pain and pleasure washed through her, and she rubbed at her scalp in a disgruntled manner.
She then jogged down the stairs, eager to see her husband. The man in question had just set two steaming mugs down on the coffee table, and he slumped back onto the sofa with an endearing sigh.
Y/N giggled. She made a beeline for the sofa and immediately dived onto her husband; Chan jumped in surprise, though happiness spread across his face as he engulfed Y/N with his muscular arms.
"Hey baby," Chan laughed, squeezing her waist. "Miss me?"
"More than you could ever understand," Y/N groaned into his shoulder. His body shook as he continued to chuckle at what he thought was a very adorable act of affection; Y/N suddenly jerked her head up a second later, and her eyes widened in realisation.
She gasped.
"What?" Chan chuckled. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"It's hoodie season!" Y/N explained.
Chan peered down at his wife. "You're not wearing a hoodie though … ?"
Giggling, Y/N tugged at the man's clothing. "Not for me. For you."
His eyes crinkling with fondness for the sparkly eyed woman beside him, Chan shook his head. "For me?"
"I like hoodie season because you start wearing clothes again," Y/N grinned, dropping her head back against his shoulder. She slid her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly, the fabric of his hoodie incredibly soft and warm and heavy against her fingers. She snuggled further into him, suddenly very, very happy. "Specifically hoodies. Obviously."
Chan's mouth dropped open. "I start wearing clothes again? I … what - baby have you hated my body this whole time?"
"No," Y/N shook her head energetically. "No, that's not what I mean. I mean … I love your body."
Chan sniffed.
A grin on her face, Y/N suddenly shoved the hem of the man's hoodie up his torso. Chan had no time to express his surprise when Y/N planted a flurry of tender kisses over his soft abs.
She pulled his hoodie back down, patting his tummy before returning her earlier stance
Chan's face slowly turned the colour of milk to strawberry syrup.
"As I was saying," Y/N said innocently as Chan cleared his throat in a flustered manner. "I like it when you wear hoodies because then you're extra cosy and when I hug you it makes me feel even cosier. And they make you extra warm and it's like you're this massive … blanket. You know?"
Chan giggled. "Well … if you put it that way … "
"Not to mention that you look adorable," Y/N continued, turning her face to kiss his clothed shoulder. She reached out and playfully squished his face. "I mean, come on. Nothing is cuter than the way you look right now."
"Fine, I'll let it slide," Chan grumbled, though he couldn't keep the flush off of his face as he wrapped his arms around Y/N's shoulders. He kissed her cheek, and he giggled when she bumped her nose against his.
"Besides," Y/N said a little more quietly. "You being naked all the time always leads to … circumstances."
His face against the top of Y/N's head, Chan started to laugh. "Circumstances?"
"Circumstances," Y/N repeated. "At least this way we can be a bit more wholesome and I can keep my sanity intact."
"Wow," Chan snorted. He pulled her closer to him and hooked his legs around hers. "You do know that this hoodie won't stop anything, right?"
"Stop," Y/N wheezed.
"I mean, if I wanted to, I could just … " Chan cheekily slipped his hand under the hem of Y/N's t-shirt. He tickled her skin and the woman squealed, immediately reaching for a cushion to pummel him with.
Chan burst into another fit of laughter at her response. He grabbed the cushion from her and tossed it away before pushing her back against the sofa seats. He hovered himself above her for a moment, a cheeky spark in his eyes before he leaned down to kiss the wide eyed woman softly on her mouth.
Then he dropped himself onto her, scooping his arms around her waist as he rested his head against her chest.
"I'll deal with you later," Chan chuckled as he felt Y/N almost deflate underneath him. He was quiet for a short while, enjoying the way Y/N had trailed her hand up his hoodie and was rubbing his back in soft, firm circles. "I missed you more, you know."
Y/N smiled. "That's impossible."
"I thought you always say nothing is impossible?" Chan lifted his head. "Are you going back on your words, Mrs Bahng?"
"Well … no," Y/N sighed, and Chan stretched a little to kiss her cheek before dropping his head against her chest again. "Fine. You win. But I'm the real winner here … my favourite heated blanket is crushing the life out of me right now."
Chan immediately made to get up. But Y/N grabbed at the front of his hoodie and pulled him back into her again. "Stay down. It's a good weight."
"You always say that," Chan laughed. "Oh, yeah … I made you tea. I think it's at a drinkable temperature now."
"You made me tea?" Y/N hummed, peering over to the table. She smiled. "How did you know I wanted tea?"
Chan shrugged. "I had a feeling."
He got up then, and he curled his fingers into Y/N's hand before pulling her up onto a sitting position. He grabbed the mugs and handed one to his wife with a soft smile.
"Drink your tea and I promise we can cuddle after," Chan said.
"Do you promise to be my blanket again?"
Chan laughed over the rim of his mug. "Yes. I promise to be your blanket."
Tag list ~ @koos-euphoria @raethethey @hotmesshapa @manonblackbeak-trash @hendsernoodle @stanskzseungmin @ateez-babygirl @dalamjisung @dinosdawn @cookiemonstermusic258 @strwbrryfroyo @gazelle-des-pres @qtieskz @stigmvta @necromancersupreme @super-btstrash-posts @changlix-mp4 @exonations @changboobies @jeyelleohe @rae-blogging @planetdemon @dani41 @jumbocircus @octalalica @velvetand-roses @foivetimesacharm @anaaam @waverzzzzzzzz @peachy-flxwr @elizabeth11moreno @lenfilms @xhazmania @starshine-moon @snow-pegasus @lixiesbabyhands @bbychannie97 @laylasbunbunny @americanokisses @bluechans @bellamuerte1987 @meowmeowisdaname @chanssmiles @minunivers @septicrebel @bangchans-angel @spacegirlstuff (let me know if you wanna be added or removed)
hyunjin x reader. friends to lovers with a pinch of unrequited love (it's very much requited dw). this is pure brainrot so suggestive at the end. but also fluffy and soft. also reader wears a two piece swimsuit.
a.n: again, sanest response i could have to this hyune. please enjoy my descent to madness :) also the last scene is heavily inspired by my favorite dialogue in the song of achilles!!
The first time you went on a vacation with Hyunjin’s family, you were only seven years old.
You don't clearly remember the island his parents took you to, the details of the travel elusive to your memory's grasp. But you remember Hyunjin- his hair darkening under the touch of the saline sea, akin to a night sky devoid of its stars. You remember the dimple on his left cheek- the sheer pride in you each time you managed to bring it to light. And you remember thinking that Hyunjin was pretty, for the first time in your small existence.
It's a thought that scorched itself indelibly into your brain, and as the years cascaded by, the branches of your love grew, each leave bearing new adjectives to describe Hyunjin- caring, emotional, talented.
But never yours.
You're both older now, and you see him less since his house is no longer right next to yours, the rhythm of life distancing you both. Hyunjin comes in and out of your life as an ephemeral tide, gently brushing your shores. You cling to the sea shells his oceans sometimes throw at your feet- the rare times when your schedules align, when you can see him beyond the confines of your phone, in pixelated video calls late into the night.
And it seems as if you've caught a rare shell this time- one with an ivory pearl hidden within it. Because you're traveling once again with him.
You're all much different, the passage of time marked you in different, but palpable ways. But your presence with Hyunjin's family still felt just as effortless as it did when you were seven. You never had to second guess what you said or how you acted with them. You were just like running water, flowing naturally within the nooks and crannies of his family.
And at night, under the moon's watchful gaze, your hushed conversations with Hyunjin remained. Beneath a shared blanket knitted by his mom, the warm sand melded with your feet, his dimple appearing once again at every word you uttered. He was still as pretty, perhaps even more so with time's gentle sculpting, molding his features into much sharper ones. It seemed only fitting for a soul as beautiful as his.
"I want to take you somewhere tomorrow," he had whispered excitedly, his lips grazing the shell of your ear, momentarily leaving you breathless- tongue dissolving in your mouth like ivory seafoam.
"You want to kidnap me?" you playfully asked, nudging him.
"You don't want to come with me?" he pouted, his gaze locked into yours, pupils appearing much darker with the absence of the sun, like a boundless ocean. The water was right beside you and yet your only wish was to swim in his eyes.
"I want to," you admitted.
"Anywhere?" he asked, irises trembling slightly as he sought your response. You were both very different, chemicals binding his molecules, and your love for him binding yours. You stood faraway from one another- you in the water and he in the wind, stirring your waves, submerging you in the seas of your longing.
"Anywhere."
...
Faraway land punctures the ocean you're gazing at, crystal blue water filling the small pool Hyunjin took you to. You admit it's a breathtaking view, only your eyes can't depart from Hyunjin's figure.
He jumped into the pool first, while you went to retrieve your camera from your bag. And now you stand by the door, heart caught in your throat, as you watch him swim around. Hyunjin is graceful, in the way he moves his limbs, bending the water to his will. It doesn't look like he's swimming, rather dancing on liquid ground.
Kkami joyfully barks once he sees you, and Hyunjin finally lifts his eyes, locking them with yours. He is pretty, unattainable, a singular star outshining all the celestial light. Foolish of them to even think they could compare.
And he's still not yours.
"I’ll take a picture of you both," you smile softly, willing yourself to conceal the lump growing in your throat. Hyunjin nods, draping his hand over Kkami's body, softly scratching the spot behind his ear. You take the first pic, capturing the tenderness in Hyunjin’s eyes. This one's for you alone.
"Okay, look at the camera," you call out cheerfully, and they both turn to look at you in unison. Though your bodies did not touch, the intensity of Hyunjin's gaze seemed to sear into your skin, igniting a fire within you. Foolish of you to dream of more.
You set the camera aside, before sitting at the edge of the pool, dipping your toes into the cool water. Hyunjin swims towards you, positioning himself between your legs, his warm hand wrapping around your ankle. You want to flee, to go back to to the innocence of seven, to never recognize how pretty Hyunjin is, to avoid the heartbreak of dreaming of someone you'll never have.
"Come swim with me," he pouts, palm pressing against your damp skin. You shake your head, a teasing smile on your face, and he pulls you to him, hands holding your waist promptly to prevent you from sinking under.
You free yourself from his intoxicating hold, before diving into the water, a desperate attempt to get away from him. Because when Hyunjin held your waist, a tenderness so earnest in his eyes it made your heart skip a beat, you dared to imagine a future together. For a fleeting moment you became the ocean and he the sky, merging at the faraway horizon.
Hyunjin dives right after you, and then you both swim around one another, giddy smiles on your faces, your laughter echoing around the room. He tries to drown you, hands gliding across the surface of your skin, making goosebumps ripple in you. You attempt to do the same, but you soon regret it. His skin was smooth, taut muscles flexing under your touch; broad shoulders you wrapped your arms around, trying to push him down. Your hand accidentally brushed against his pulse, and you removed it as if it had burned you. There is life beating within him, wildly. But not for you. Never for you.
"Wait, hold on. Your straps are loosening," he notices, reaching for your arm and spinning you around, your back now facing him. "Can I?" he asks, voice dipping to a lower timber. You feel it in the depths of your stomach, depths only he can unravel.
"Yes," you whisper, as he undoes the loose knot of your swimsuit, the one behind your neck still holding up the fabric against your skin. You can feel his cold breath traveling across your bare back, crystalizing the droplets of water trailing on it. His fingers are a stark warmth as they brush against your spine, fingertips gently grazing your skin, like a delicate feather. You imagine your body is molten wax, and he's the seal stamp pressing onto you, molding you whichever way he'd like.
He's tentative as he grabs the undone straps, wrapping them in a knot. Or at least attempting to. You can tell that he's shaking, a shuddering breath escaping his lips. "Im sorry, I didn't tie it well," he giggles sheepishly, undoing the knot once again. You don't reply, unsure of what words will stumble out of your mouth. 'I don't mind you touching me' instead of 'it's okay'.
You turn around once he's done, but he doesn't move back, his body mere centimeters away from yours. You can see the rise and fall of his chest, the slight blush creeping up his neck, coloring him in the prettiest shade of crimson. The droplets cascading down his body, forging a tantalizing path you wish you could undergo. His dampened hair, a shade darker than his usual color. His lips slightly parted, rosy as they've always been. His adam's apple bobbing up and down furiously.
And you suddenly can no longer breathe.
Beneath the water, his hand encircles your wrist, a touch so faint you almost believe that you've imagined it. His fingers trail down, holding your palm and bringing it to his face. He closes his eyes, letting out a shaky exhale, one you inhale right back in. You're cradling his cheek, his hand right on top of yours, holding it in place.
"Hyunjin..." you start, but he shakes his head, eyes still shut.
"Please," he whispers, "just for a little." and the clouds slightly uncover, a singular sun ray piercing through them- one petal of hope unfurling at his words.
"Don't- don't do this," you plead back, tone tinged with panic. You couldn't have him, not even for a second, not even in a dream. That's the way things are. Two parallel lines, traveling down the same path, forever adjacent, but never merging as one.
Hyunjin plants a soft kiss on your wrist, lips barely brushing against your pulse. You've never truly known gentleness until this moment.
"If I told you that this trip with you is the happiest I’ve been in a while, would you believe me?" he whispers against your skin, head slightly tilted.
You shake your head no.
"If I ask you something would you be honest with me? I'm tired, yn," he says, his voice softening as it always did when he uttered your name. As if the syllables were always coated in honey, even in his sadness, in his anger, and now, in his pleading for you.
"I will," you respond with an equally quiet voice, and yet it resounds loudly around the room, amplified by the consequences looming around the corner.
"Do you want me?" he asks simply, expecting you to easily uncover a secret you've buried for years, to dust the weight of your fear in mere seconds.
You remain silent and Hyunjin deflates a bit, shoulders slumping forward, the dimple in his face vanishing completely.
"Because I'm drowning in my want for you."
A water droplet falls from the strands of his hair, landing softly on his mouth. You follow its descent, as he licks his lips nervously, his hold on your wrist faltering. The wind is gliding across the water- he's offering himself to you. Who are you to ever refuse?
Your lips crash on his before you even realize it, years of longing exploding before your eyes, spilling from your mouth to his in the most vibrant colors. His lips are soft as you've always imagined them, and they move against yours perfectly, as if molded from the same dough, created to meet again and again, in a fervor, and then in a tenderness that makes your heart ache.
You're kissing Hyunjin, and you aren't burning, disintegrating under the weight of longing for someone so unattainable. You aren't Icarus- you flew too close to the sun but it hadn't burned you, instead it embraced you, it's now wrapping its hands around your waist, pressing your chest to its warm one. It's a touch you welcome, one that liquefies in your veins like molten amber.
You wrap your legs around Hyunjin’s waist, as he walks backward until your back is against the pool railing. Your hands are tugging his damp strands, fingers threading through his locks the way sunshine weaves between the leaves. He tastes sweet, sweeter than anything you've ever had in your life. And you're greedy, you can't get enough of him, so you part for a second only to meet again, his hands digging into your sides. Chest to chest, skin to skin, heart to heart.
"Say it," Hyunjin whispers against your lips, "say that you want me back."
"I want you. So much, Hyune. You're the only one I’ve ever wanted," your words wash over him, erasing every doubt that was anchored in his heart. How could you not have seen it, all this time? In each photograph you took, his gaze, always on you. The fondness in his eyes and the dimples in his cheeks, only ever coming forth for you.
You lean away, head dipped down to kiss his shoulders. Your lips trail down his collarbones, moving to the mole on his arm. He smells like chlorine, and the sweet scent of your monoi oil. Hyunjin is pretty, Hyunjin is warm, Hyunjin is yours.
Your eyes meet his and you both let out giddy giggles, the flush of your cheeks matching his. His lips are slightly swollen, and he bites the lower one as he glances at Kkami, who was idly watching you both.
"Do you think we traumatized him?" you ask in a hushed whisper.
"I think he's glad this happened and he no longer has to hear my rants about you," Hyunjin smiles sheepishly and you laugh, the sound reverberating through Hyunjin’s heart.
"Have I ever told you how much I love your laugh?" he asks, thumb swiping across your cheek with a tenderness that leaves you dizzy in its trail.
"You have," you whisper, the sound of it getting caught in your throat.
"And this?" he gently grazes your cupid bow. "Have I told you how much I love your lips?"
"You haven't," you say, mouth parting slightly at his words.
"This then," he trails across your neck, skimming your pulse. "Did I tell you how I feel about your blush? How it always always starts up your neck? Always so pretty?"
"No," you are breathless now, shuddering under his touch.
"What about this?" his hands hold your waist, kneading the tender flesh. "Did I ever tell you? About this?" They go over your hips, gliding across the bare skin. "Surely I did."
You shake your head. Skin burning up where he had touched it. He smiles, tongue poking against his cheek, hands going to your back, tracing over your spine, undoing the knots of your swimsuit. "And this? Did I tell you how much I want you?"
You close your eyes, wind meeting water. "Tell me again."
pairing : han x reader. enemies to lovers. slow burn.
summary : you've never gotten along with han, your mutual prejudices ruining any prospect of friendship between you both. but you slowly realize that you are more similar than what you originally thought- your darkness recognizing his, and his light yearning for yours.
"I'll take care of you. It's rotten work. Not to me, not if it's you."
cw : depiction of a panic attack, minor injury, both reader and han say mean shit to each other, cursing, mention of alcohol, reader has she/her pronouns.
word count : 13.2k
a.n: highly recommend listening to "Let the light in" by Lana when Han starts playing it in the fic hehe feedback is highly appreciated as always <3
skz quotes series masterlist.
You remember being seven years old, sitting on the floor of your bedroom, while your mom brushed your hair. It was a late July night, a cold breeze swaying your white curtains, akin to the fluttering of a butterfly’s wing. Your eyes were slightly puffy, delicate red veins protruding the white of them. You had just finished watching a Disney movie- the Lion King; heavy sobs escaping your lips when Mufasa died.
There were still faint hiccups coursing through you, a slight shake in your hands as you fiddled with the hem of your shirt. Your mom brought you to her chest, her chin resting on your small shoulder blade. "You’re sensitive, my sweet girl" she had uttered, rubbing your arms soothingly.
It was the first time someone described you as such. You didn’t know what ‘sensitive’ entailed exactly, but it contained the word ‘sense’, so you assumed it was something good, a quality to be proud of you. You could sense, maybe more than others, maybe too deeply. That’s why you cried when you didn’t get a good grade, or when your friends left you alone in the park.
But you didn't mind back then. What was your heart made for if not to feel?
You should’ve paid more attention to the way your mom spoke, to the bittersweetness lingering in her tone. As if she knew exactly what it entailed to be sensitive- to have your heart overflow with delicate feelings for the rest of your life, with no safe destination to guard them in.
☄༄
You’ve forgotten the last time you cried in.
The tears are lodged inside your throat- you can clearly feel them, an uncomfortable weight sitting on your vocal cords, rendering them impossible to use.
You used to cry, freely, so much that you lost count of how much it happened. But you realized that every tear that escaped your eyes, made you vulnerable, weaker, in the hands of the people around you. Every tear that washed over you, only rendered you more transparent for everyone to peer at how they wounded your soul.
So, you conditioned yourself to stop feeling as deeply, or at least to stop showing it. The sadness, the hurt, the anger were all stored within you; but your face remained placid, not betraying how you truly felt. You were like a pond, tranquil at the surface, raging from within.
But on days like this one, you miss the person you were. When the implications of being sensitive still haven’t weighed down on you. When you could get rid of your feelings in the essence of your tears. When you didn’t yet feel bad for feeling.
Chan's eyes are on you, as you type furiously on your laptop. Your vision is so blurry that you can no longer see your lit screen. But you’re afraid that if you pause then Chan would ask if you were okay, and you hated that question. Because you never truly knew the answer to it. Yes, you were okay. But you haven’t cried in six months and your friend didn’t greet you back this morning and you suddenly feel very small in a very large library.
"Hey," Chan taps your hand with his pen and you suck in a slight breath, before raising your head to meet his eyes. "Are you-" he starts but you’re quick to cut him off, knowing exactly where this was headed. "Did you answer question five? I’m stuck on what formula to use."
Chan raises a brow at you, and you blink repeatedly. His eyes travel to your feet tapping furiously against the floor, and he understands.
"I'm still at number four," he finally says and you nod in relief. You’ve been close friends for a year and Chan has come to know you- he’s dropping the subject.
"Oh, and are you coming to the party tonight?" Chan asks, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He’s hosting it and there is hope twinkling in his eyes. You feel bad because you’re about to crush it.
"No, need to revise more for the upcoming test."
"Of course, you’ll still be buried in your books," a sarcastic voice quips up, and you stiffen inwardly. Han- one-third of 3racha, Chan’s self-made producing group, and the bane of your existence. You never liked who you were around Han, he brought out the worst in you. Made all your insecurities roar forward, plastered across your body in neon red.
He was friends with Chan, long before you came into the picture, back into their high school days when Han skipped a class and ended up in the same one as Chan’s. A genius, as everyone around you liked to call him. And they were right- excelling came easily to Han, in everything he ever did. Even tapping into each one of your tender nooks and crannies.
He knew how to expertly push your buttons, how to make his tone sound mocking, and taunting, but only to you. Because you were sensitive, and he knew it, finding it almost amusing to toy with you.
You decide to stay silent because nothing good ever comes out of talking back to him. So, you bite your tongue, turning back to look at your screen. But Han’s elbow grazes your arm, as he leans a bit further into your face. "Come on, live a little, y/n. You’re missing out on the college experience," he makes a big show of opening his arms wide, a single red pen spinning between his fingers. "Quit being stuck up for one night." And it spins, and it spins, and it spins and something ugly inside you crumbles.
"I’m sorry I wasn’t born with a golden spoon shoved down my throat and I actually have to work for my future."
Han’s eyes widen at the raw animosity in your voice, before narrowing down promptly. He’s leaning onto your face again, and his tone is low and cold when he speaks again. "What did you just say to me?"
"Is it so hard to grasp that not everyone is as privileged as you? We can’t all afford to get wasted every fucking night and call it a life."
You’re being mean. This is the rudest you’ve ever been to someone else. You know that your reaction is disproportionate to what he said. But it isn’t just about this instant. It’s an amalgam of every moment Han made you feel small in, because you don’t go out as much as him, because you don’t understand as quickly as him. Taunts thrown your way under the guise of teasing, but you know better.
Still, guilt eats at you as your eyes lock with Chan’s. You should’ve stayed silent, as you’ve been diligently doing for the past year.
"How do you stand being her friend Chan? Is it out of pity?" Han muses, a pout pulling at his lips. You stare ahead as Han tsks lightly, before tapping your cheek with his pen, bringing your face back to him. "I think it is. Because isn’t she so fucking boring?"
Being near Han always makes you hyper-aware of things you never noticed before. Like how a breath has to travel from the depths of your body so you’d be able to release it, and how excruciatingly long it takes for you to draw in a new one. Because Han’s words are never harmless, no, they settle on the confines of your lungs, crushing down any bit of oxygen willing to leave you.
You've had enough.
"When you’re eighty, on your deathbed, and all alone. I hope you know that there is no one around to blame but yourself."
"Don’t cross the line, yn," Chan finally speaks and you scoff, as you get up to grab your things.
"What fucking line, Chan? So, he can insult me all day but as soon as I do it there is a line? Why are you taking his side?"
Chan stays silent and you chuckle dryly. "Of course, you are. You’re only friends with me out of pity after all."
"That’s not true-"
"Well, you didn’t deny it, did you Chan?"
"Yn, I-"
"Save it."
Han’s eyes are glossy as you take one final glance at him. But your heart’s bleeding too much for you to care about his minor cut.
☄༄
For how much time can a conversation haunt someone? Seventeen days, for your case. And you're still counting.
You have nit-picked your fight with Han in the library so much that it's driving you insane. His voice is drilled into your head- the coldness of it as he reeled back from the shock of your words, and then, the pure venom dripping from his tone, as he attacked you where it hurt the most. Chan.
Han chose his words carefully, stitched up the sentence perfectly to hurt you, to stick to your flesh like burnt skin, one that you peeled over and over, each time it threatened to scar.
You haven't talked to Chan in seventeen days. He tried to stop you; on your way out of class, in the line of your campus cafeteria, on the doorsteps of your dorm. But you always fleet away. His eyes were also imprinted into your brain- the disappointment in them when you clapped back at Han.
What about him? You wanted to yell. Why are you only disappointed in me?
But the tears in your pillow have dried. Then fallen again. Then dried once more. And you found the answer to question five. And you miss Chan, terribly so.
That's why you're pacing around his dorm, at 10 pm, when it's also terribly cold outside. Your fingers have gone numb from the ministrations of the wind, but you don't move from your place. You know that the chances of seeing Han- the second person you’ve been avoiding like the plague- would be higher here. But you didn't care anymore.
Your thumb hovers over the call button and you bite your lip harshly. Would Chan pick up? Would he hang up? Was he really your friend out of pity?
"Yn?" a voice calls out, and you startle, turning around to see who it is. Changbin, carrying two bags of groceries in his hand. He's Chan’s friend as well, the final member of 3racha. You like Changbin. He's always being very kind to you. You've grown much closer to him than to Han in the past few months; not that the latter has ever wanted a friendship with you. From the day you met and his eyes narrowed promptly each time you talked. You should’ve known from the start.
"Why are you out here in the cold?" Changbin asks gently, stepping cautiously towards you.
"Chan," you say simply and he nods, understanding what you mean.
"He's not here now, but he'll come home soon. Let's go inside, okay?" he smiles tentatively at you and you hum in reply.
Changbin opens the door and you follow inside. You help him take out the groceries silently, stacking them in their fridge and shelves. Lots of protein powder, and chicken packets. You'd laugh about it if you weren't so sad.
"Chan misses you," Changbin speaks up suddenly, and your heartbeat quickens at his words.
"I miss him too."
"Then you'll be okay."
You try to remember Changbin’s reassuring smile when Chan finally opens the door to the dorm, an hour later. He finds you sitting on the stool in the kitchen. His eyes light up once they settle on you.
And you unravel at the sight.
You're crying, sobs rippling from you as he brings you to his chest. He's patting your head and whispering that it's okay. And you know his shirt is all crumpled from clutching it in your hands. But he doesn't mind. He only hugs you tighter.
"I'm sorry, yn. So, so, sorry. I should've stopped him before, I just... You two are my best friends and I didn't want to add fuel to the fire by talking and-"
"It's okay, it's okay, I'm the one who should apologize for ghosting you."
"I understand why you did it. I fucked up but I missed you so much. Can we please never do this again?”
“Yes please,” you giggle, but the sound withers as the door opens once again.
"What is she doing here?" a cold voice breaks you and Chan apart, as your eyes land on Han. His gaze sucks the breath out of you, and the warmth in your heart fizzles out. Your hold on Chan’s shirt tightens and he takes an unconscious step in front of your body. Han doesn't miss the protective gesture.
"Get out, yn."
"You don't get to kick my friends out of my house," Chan is angry. And you regret ever coming here.
"Last I checked it's my house too." Han doesn't even bother looking at you. He's holding Chan’s gaze as if they're silently communicating. "You know damn well what she said why-" he takes a deep breath, running a hand angrily through his hair. "Fuck this. If she's not leaving then I am."
And with that he storms out, slamming the door behind him. You flinch at the sound.
Chan’s eyebrows are knitted as he stares at where Han stood seconds ago as if trying to conjure him up once again. You never wanted to strain their friendship. You knew how much Han cared for Chan, even if he didn't bear the same sentiment for you.
"Chan, I’ll leave. Call Han and tell him I'm gone."
"You don't have to."
"I know," you reassure, placing your hand on his forearm. "We'll talk more later, okay? It's cold and he has nowhere to go. Just call him, please."
"Fine," Chan concedes. "Call me when you get home, alright?" his eyes finally soften and you squeeze his hand in reply, before heading out as well.
The walk from Chan’s dorm to yours is fairly short, but tonight, it seems like kilometers are separating you from the safety of your bed. There is a heavy weight crushing your bones, most of it being guilt at what just transpired between Chan and Han.
That's what comes with being sensitive- you bear the weight of your feelings and the one of those surrounding you.
Were you out of place with what you said to Han? Yes. Was it eating you inside to see the consequences of your words? Yes. But he was also to blame, you repeated in your head. He was also to blame. Please. You plead, you don't know to whom, maybe to the voice in your head to stop being so mean. 'But none of this would've happened if you weren't so sensitive. So easy to bruise' the voice mocks and you stumble on your feet.
It happens so suddenly it takes you off guard- the way the breath is knocked out of you. You pause, chest heaving as you bend down slightly. Your hand is on your heart as you try to breathe again, but it's shaking so much. Your legs give out under you, and you plop down on the floor, eyes tightly shut. You can't breathe. You can't breathe. You're going to pass out.
"Yn, what-" A hand rests on your shoulder but you shake it off. You don't want to be touched. Not by him.
"Let me help-" Han speaks again, and you scramble away from him, as best as you can anyway. You end up kneeling on the ground once again, your back to him. "Get-get away."
"I know you're mad but you aren't okay and I know how horrib-"
"You aren't helping!" you shout through tears, as your heart threatens to spill out of your throat. "You’ve hurt me e-enough already."
You don't remember how you got home that night, how you managed to open the door or cross the road leading to your dorm. But you remember Han leaving you on the cold ground, just like you wanted. You remember the ache in your bones as you laid on your bed; the burning desire to stop feeling for a night, to cut your chest open and tear off your bleeding heart.
☄༄
One month later
If there's one thing you've always complained to Chan about, it's the fact that his building had an elevator in it, unlike yours.
Today, you’ve come to regret this fact. Tremendously.
You’ve been avoiding going to Chan’s dorm for the past weeks since the last thing you wanted was to see Han. But, he insisted on you coming over, reassuring you that it would only be him and Changbin at home since Han supposedly had other plans.
Well, Chan was wrong. Because Han just walked into the elevator you are in, mere moments before its doors closed.
Your breath catches in your throat as his eyes lock on yours. He looks like he wants to say something but he decides against it, opting for sighing loudly instead, before pressing the button leading to the fourth floor, rather harshly.
Your need to flee has never been this strong.
You watch anxiously as the numbers slowly go up. 1… 2… 3… Then a loud voice startles you and the elevator starts to shake in place. The door is suddenly opened and you are met with a cement wall, blocking your exit.
"What the fuck?" Han groans as you press the emergency button repeatedly, hoping that the elevator will resume its course and this nightmare will be forgotten.
It doesn’t.
"You’re going to break the goddamn button," Han pushes your hand away and you stumble away from him.
"Can you shut up? I’m not in the mood for your bullshit."
"Does it look like I’m happy to be here?" Han scoffs, as a ringtone plays in the elevator, cutting you off before you could respond.
"Hey guys, this happens from time to time, so no need to worry. Is everyone alright?" Someone speaks and you assume it's the worker charged with the maintenance of the elevator.
"Yes," you both reply at the same time.
"Great. We’ve contacted the mechanics but they said there’s a lot of traffic, so it might take a bit longer for them to get here."
"How long?" Han asks the question that’s on your mind as well.
"Two hours, at most, for you to get out."
"Oh, for fuck’s sake," you groan, as hot tears prickle at the corner of your eyes. This is the last thing you needed today- to be stuck in a cramped-up space with the one person who sucks the oxygen out of any room you’re in.
"Thanks, man," Han sighs and you turn your back to him, facing the wall. You’ve had a horrible day, scratch that, a horrible week. Hanging out with Chan and Changbin was the one thing you were looking forward to, only for the worst possible scenario to happen- being stuck in the same place with Han. You feel an urgent need to sob but you can’t cry in front of him. Not when he’s all claws and your skin is tender.
"Wait, are you claustrophobic?" He suddenly asks, seemingly inches away from your body.
"As if you’d fucking care," you scoff, before heading to a corner of the elevator and settling down.
"I'm not a monster, you know," he mutters in an almost sad tone, one that forces you to look up at him. His hands are deep into his pockets, eyebrows knitted as he gazes down at you. "Do you really think I’m that much of an asshole?"
"Yes," you reply instantly, before staring forward again. The hurt that flashes in his eyes shouldn’t tug at your heartstrings, but it does, ever so faintly, like the last wave that grazes your feet as you get out of the ocean. "I’m not claustrophobic," you add after a while and Han finally sits on the opposite side from you.
It’s hot and stuffy in the elevator, and it’s quiet, too quiet for your liking. You’ve never really liked silence for too long, it made the small voice in your head only grow bolder, louder, impossible to ignore.
Thirty-five excruciatingly long minutes go by and the tension only grows more suffocating. It’s simmering, barely beneath the surface, waiting for the person who will finally make it explode.
It’s Han.
“Can I ask you something?”
“No.”
“Come on, we have nothing else to do.”
“Have you tried being silent?”
"Yn," he says sternly and you begrudgingly concede. "Fine. Ask me."
You imagine him smirking slightly, the way he does each time he manages to push you over the edge.
“Why do you hate me so much?”
“We’re not doing this right now,” you shake your head, tone adamant.
"When’s a better time for it? We’re literally never in the same place."
“And whose fault that is?” You smile too sarcastically and he frowns. “So, I’m the only one to blame?”
“Can’t you see how full of yourself you are? Fuck, Han, this is exactly what I hate about you.”
“What are you even talking about?”
“You’re so immature, you never sit back to think of how your words might impact someone.”
"What words yn? I was teasing you!" his voice grows louder and so does yours. "You were hurting me!" you yell, chest heaving. There is something utterly terrifying in this confession- to let someone know how easy it was for them to get to you.
"But I didn’t mean to," he drags a hand through his hair, exasperated. "It's not my fault you felt that way."
An ironic chuckle leaves your lips, as you point at him. "See, you're doing it again! You're blaming me for my reaction instead of evaluating how your actions might have caused it."
"Look, yn," he scrambles to you until there are only a few centimeters separating your bodies. "I really wanna fix this, okay? Can we stop screaming?"
"Why are you so hellbent on fixing it?" you question, as you lean further away from him. He notices and takes a step back, giving you space.
"Because although I don't care about you, I care about Chan. And this is hurting him. So, I want to be civil with you."
The mention of Chan feels like a cold bucket of water dousing the fire within you. You know he’s struggling to be in the middle of two people he loves. He doesn’t deserve that.
"Fine," you sigh softly. “You talk. I’ll listen.”
"I didn't... I didn't know that my words would hurt you. In truth, it looked like you weren't affected at all. That's why I kept pushing you because… God Yn you're so perfect it maddens me."
Your eyebrows knit together at his words- the last thing you expected to stumble out of his mouth. "What are you talking about?"
"You never get sad, never get angry. Your emotions are always in check. You're always smiling, always laughing. Have everything figured out from how you want to be now to where you want to be in the future. And you know yourself, you never step out of order. And this is selfish and stupid but it irked me. Because I am the opposite of you. I'm a mess and too human it terrifies me, so I wanted to see if you had a breaking point. But each time I taunted you, you remained placid. So, I kept pushing to see if you'd break one day because, selfishly enough, that would make me feel better about how broken I am."
"Han, you're so stupid. Aren't you a literal genius? You excel in everything you do and you have fun on top of it, every single night. Don't you realize how lucky you are?"
"Do you really believe I find joy in being wasted and not even remembering what happened that night? I do that because I'm in my mind most of the days and it isn't the best place to be in. So, I like to forget."
“Why do you think I always bury myself in my studies? Because it's safe and it makes me forget too. Did you really think I didn’t feel? I feel too much and that’s the problem.”
Han remains silent as you curse under your breath. "Do you even realize how selfish this is? To test a human's breaking point? All because what? I didn't shove my struggles down your nose? Would you go around and do this to everyone who looked fine to you?"
"I know, I know, I was just in a bad place, and this isn't an excuse but I... I felt as if you were just showing me everything that was wrong with me."
"That is how I felt around you," you chuckle bitterly and he hangs his head low. He’s much quieter when he speaks again. “I guess we’re more similar than I thought.”
"Doesn't excuse what you did. You targeted me and made me feel insane because no one was hearing the hostility in your tone like I did."
"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I really am. I never thought it'd get this bad and I deserve every name you called me."
"You do." You close your eyes, as Han’s words wash over you. There is so much more you want to say, so much you want to spit out in his face because of his selfish coping mechanism. But you also want peace, for Chan’s sake. So, you try to bury your resentment, just like you do with every other feeling. One day it’ll turn into indifference. You’ll make sure of it.
You bite your lip, before clearing your throat. Your tone is softer when you speak again. "I'm sorry for what I told you in the library. About you dying alone and whatnot. That wasn't nice of me."
"You really hit the nail with that one," Han chuckles quietly, and guilt floods your heart at the expression on his face. "And I'm sorry for calling you boring. You aren't. And for everything I said before that."
"Okay. It's okay." You reassure, a tiny smile drawn on your lips.
He nods before a sly grin grows on his face. "Should we hug it out?" he teases, cocking an eyebrow at you and you stare pointedly at him. "Don't push your luck."
"Yes, ma'am."
An hour later, the mechanics finally manage to get the elevator going, which in turn allows you both to get out. Han opens the door to the dorm, and you find Chan lying on the couch, scrolling down his phone.
"Han? I thought you would..." he starts before trailing off as he looks up. "Yn? Where were you, I’ve been calling you for the past two hours."
"I didn't have signal."
"Why where were-" Chan goes to question before stopping once again. He hurriedly stands up and walks toward you.
"You... Are standing next to one another."
"We are," Han replies, glancing at you from the corner of his eye.
"And you aren't... Fighting?" his statement comes out more like a question, which makes both you and Han chuckle.
"We aren't."
"We talked it out, in the elevator which we were both just stuck in," you add and Chan’s eyes grow wide, as a breathtaking smile breaks out on his face.
"Oh my god. Finally. We'll talk about the elevator bit later but it's been so hard trying not to be in the same place as the both of you."
"We know. We're sorry," you both pout in sync and Chan shakes his head, before opening his arms wide. You giggle, before walking to him and sinking into his embrace. Han follows you shortly after, and your eyes meet behind Chan’s back. He shoots you a tiny thumbs up.
Is this how a dandelion feels, you wonder, when someone blows on it in the hopes it'll grant their selfish wishes. Only to be tossed away afterward, lifeless.
You drown out the thought before smiling back at Han. It doesn’t reach your eyes.
☄༄
Befriending two-thirds of 3racha holds within it a lot of privileges. The first one is listening to unreleased music, the second is having exclusive insight into their upcoming performances.
Their gigs don't happen as often as they'd like, because they're still students who unfortunately have lots of assignments. But when a window of free time materializes, they unveil their latest productions at vibrant parties, dimly lit bars, or even the occasional club. Which attracts a lot of people, some even coming from neighboring towns to listen to them play.
Everyone can recognize raw talent, even if rap doesn't happen to be their favorite genre.
This is how you know that they'll be performing Heyday, their latest creation, at Seungmin’s party. You've met him in passing, and Chan insisted that you'd come. Not that you needed much convincing anyway, you fell in love with this song the minute you heard it.
There is an exhilarating energy in Seungmin’s mansion, a palpable anticipation preceding 3racha’s performance, as you all gaze at the makeshift stage. The place is packed, bodies pressed tightly to one another. You feel slightly uncomfortable but you swallow it down. You're here to support Chan first and foremost, you can leave if things become too much for you.
The introductory chords materialize abruptly, and 3racha takes the stage. Chan is clad in a white shirt with huge gaps on his sides, revealing glimpses of his chest each time he bends down. Changbin, on the opposite end of the spectrum, is wearing a tightly fitted black shirt, hugging each muscle of his to perfection. Han, the last one to walk in, sports a loose black shirt, with a low neckline. His nails are painted to match the color of his attire, you notice.
The song kicks off with Changbin's incendiary rap as deafening cheers ring all around you. You make sure to scream on top of your lungs too, as Changbin’s loud voice commands the attention of everyone in the room. You’ve always held a penchant for his rap style- how powerful he sounds, and how addicted you quickly become to hearing him on stage. You remember once telling him that any song that starts with his rapping is a successful hit. He playfully nudged your shoulder but his appreciative smile was hard to miss.
Chan’s part is next and you try to rap along, as best as you can anyway due to your fleeting memory. It sounds mostly like gibberish but you don’t mind, especially when your eyes meet Chan’s and he grins at you, before morphing into the mesmerizing stage persona that's peculiar to him. You clearly remember the first time you witnessed him on stage, and how enthralled you were by the sheer power he exuded. His destiny was intertwined with music, no one could deny that.
A bed squeaking sound comes next, followed by the knocking on the door and you giggle against your will. That was Han’s ingenious touch, as Chan had shared when you'd raised a quizzical brow at him while listening. “Is this based on a real-life experience?” You asked, a knowing smirk etched upon your features, and he pretended to zip his mouth, earlobes turning a vibrant shade of crimson.
Han finally starts rapping in his inimitable style, exuding an effortless, laid-back aura. Your gazes meet at the "let's go play" line, and he tilts his head quizzically at you as he utters his confused "huh?". You raise one eyebrow at him prompting a sly smirk from him, before redirecting his attention to the opposite side of the stage. Yet, your eyes remain on him throughout his entire part.
The boys step off the stage, and you watch from the corner of the room with a wide grin as a swarm of people surrounds them. Congratulations and praise fill the air, and you can tell that 3racha thrives on this moment- it's what they live for, what makes their souls rise up from the ashes.
Chan catches your eye, and you applaud enthusiastically, letting out a happy giggle. He blows you a kiss, and you playfully pretend to catch it, eliciting a small shake of his head. Changbin, who's standing near him, catches the exchange and winks at you from a distance, to which you respond with two thumbs up.
Even though you're a bit far from them, you're certain the boys can sense the pride radiating from you in waves. There's something truly magical about humans existing in their element, particularly people you care about.
Your gaze shifts to Han, and your smile falters slightly. He's also glowing, but signs of discomfort are starting to creep onto his face. You recognize them fairly well, as you've felt them too at times when emotions become overwhelming. So, after a brief internal debate, you decide to act and begin making your way toward him, pushing through the crowd despite the rising complaints behind you.
They fall on deaf ears.
You grab Han's forearm, pulling him with you through the sea of bodies toward the bathroom. He doesn't fight, following diligently behind you. You open the door and pull him inside, pausing as you realize you don't have a specific plan for bringing him here. This is also the first time you've been alone together since the elevator conversation.
"Thank you," Han whispers, and you nod, your eyes softening. "I'm okay, I love performing, I just needed a breather," he quickly adds, as if feeling guilty for being overwhelmed.
"That's completely understandable. You are running on a lot of adrenaline, and the room is so crowded," you say with a smile, turning to the mirror to touch up your makeup.
Han remains silent for a while as you powder your face, before reapplying your cherry lip gloss. You can hear him taking in deep breaths, and you avoid looking at him, worried he might feel embarrassed.
"What did you think of the performance?" he finally asks, and you raise your head slightly. You lock eyes with him through the mirror, as he leans against the door, arms crossed in front of his chest. His black t-shirt falls a bit, revealing more of his bare skin, and your eyes trail down for a moment.
"It was really good. I think this song might be my favorite of all yours."
"Really?" Han grins, his words filled with an excitement that warms your heart despite yourself. He's just received heaps of compliments from hundreds of people, yet your words still seem to affect him deeply.
"Yes. I loved your rap, how it started in a laid-back manner, and then you cleared your throat and picked up the pace. It added a unique edge to the song."
"Thank you, really," his smile is genuine, and you giggle softly, shaking your head.
"What's funny?" he asks, walking up to you. You're still facing the mirror, and he's now only inches away from you.
"I didn't imagine you'd appreciate my compliment this much."
"It feels sincere," he shrugs and you nod, finally turning around and leaning against the sink.
"It is sincere."
"Good."
You hold his gaze, eyes only trailing down to go across his face. He looks far different from how he did on stage. Shier, more eager for praise.
"You have..." he steps up until the scent of his cologne tickles your nose. His hand raises ever so slowly to your face, and you hold your breath, as he picks up something from your cheek. His hands are warm.
"An eyelash fell. Make a wish."
A surprised chuckle escapes your lips. "You wish on fallen lashes?"
"You wish on everything when you need hope." his voice is low, a timber so foreign to your ears it sends shivers down your spine. So, you close your eyes, wishing for your heart to quit beating so fast.
"Done," you whisper and he blows the single lash away, his gaze still on you.
"Thank you for coming."
"Of course. I had to support Chan and Changbin." It slips from your mouth before you can stop it, and Han slightly recoils from your words.
"Right, them. Yeah. Of course," he finally backs away, and oxygen fills your lungs once again. "I'm good now. Should we go out?"
"After you," you nod tightly and he walks ahead first, his perfume trailing after him and pulling you into a dizzying dance.
☄༄
The party Seungmin hosted was your last time having fun for a while. Your preparation for midterm exams began soon after, and you found yourself swarmed with assignments left and right. Thankfully, you and Chan were going through it at the same time, which meant you met at the library each day, revising silently near one another.
Except this time, you were joined by Han.
Goosebumps ran across your skin as he pulled the chair next to you, not the good kind of shivers. You were reminded of the fight you had right here, three months ago. Which still left a bitter taste in your mouth.
You don't hate Han anymore. He's actually funny, and you enjoy listening to his ramblings when you go over to Chan's dorm. He's also really different in his home, much quieter, and softer. Much more like you.
But you're also human, and there is still a part of your brain sending off warning signals at his presence. Maybe because the hurt was never buried properly. You just brushed it off under the carpet after your elevator conversation. Most of it was spent shouting anyway.
"Hey," he greets and you just nod in reply. You can feel his gaze linger on you a bit after that, and a pang of guilt twists in your heart. "Hi," you finally reply, but you tune out his response. Why is it that you're sensitive to everyone's emotions but your own?
Twenty minutes go by, then forty, and you can no longer take the uncomfortable feeling clinging to your skin. So, you excuse yourself, hurriedly stepping out of the library.
Han follows you; you can tell it’s him because someone's chair scraped loudly against the floor as soon as you stood up, and that couldn't be Chan because he is always careful with the silence in the library. So, you put on your headphones and walk faster.
This is childish, surely it is, but you can't control your emotions. You've apologized and so did he, you talk from time to time and you even held his arm and took him to a quiet bathroom. So where is all this bitterness coming from?
"Dammit, yn, how are you so fast?" Han grabs your arm pausing you. He's panting slightly and you just blankly stare as he takes in a deep breath.
"Are you okay?" he finally asks and you nod, turning around to walk away. He stops you again.
"I made you uncomfortable, didn't I?" he asks quietly, and you sigh, rubbing your forehead wearily.
"You didn't do anything, I just... Being in that library reminded me of certain things."
"I know. Me too. Can we please talk?"
"We are talking," you raise your brows and he stares pointedly at you. "Come on you know what I mean."
"Fine," you giggle, "we can talk."
"I didn't apologize properly to you in the elevator. Truth is, I did it because Chan was mad at me and I couldn't stand it anymore."
The bitterness- you understand where it comes from now.
"But I am sorry. Truly sorry. I was selfish and I hurt you and this will sound like a joke, but I hate hurting people. I really do. I was just too wrapped up in my problems that I didn't realize how it would affect you and I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I also shouldn't have tried to kick you out that day, but dying alone is my biggest fear, and seeing you in my home made me want to lose my mind because I couldn't get what you said out of my head, but it was so cold outside and again I shouldn't have told you to go out and I am so sorry-"
"Han, breathe," you smile, cutting him off and Han sucks in a deep breath, chest slightly heaving from talking uninterrupted for a minute straight.
"I'm sorry I just wanted to apologize, properly this time. I'm doing it because I'm guilty, not because of Chan. Nothing excuses my behavior, I know. And I wish I could turn back in time and actually get to know you because you're really cool and very nice, but I can't. All I can do is apologize. So I'm sorry, Yn. I really am."
"I appreciate it," you smile, and Han exhales a little from relief. "I didn't know that was your biggest fear, but even if it wasn't, that was uncalled for. I shouldn't have said something so mean. So, I'm sorry for it too. But I'm not apologizing for being mad, you deserved that."
"I did, I did, I know." He's quick to agree. "I don't want us to be awkward around one another. I'm not telling you that you have to be my best friend but, we can be friends, right? But you also don't have to. It's enough if you forgive me and... You know what? Never mind forget I said anything, I'm just nervous and-"
"Okay."
"Okay?" he repeats.
"We can be friends. I accept your truthful apology."
"Actually?"
"Yes."
"Like we can start over?" he grins and you chuckle at the excitement in his face. "Yes."
"Can we hug it out?"
"Too soon," you pout and he nods, a faint blush dusting his cheek.
"Right. Should we go back to the library? I saw that you were stuck on a question. I can help you."
"You won't make any comments?"
"No. Pinky promise." he outstretches his pinky towards you and you muse over it for a bit, before wrapping your finger around his. You grin at Han- your first genuine smile since he's known you. His hold on your pinky falters.
"Okay. I'm in."
.☄༄
Five weeks later- 1:13 a.m.
You were still slightly cautious near Han as if you were both threading along an invisible line. You could talk, but not too much, afraid any old animosity would shine through. And you could stay together, but not too long, in case it gets awkward and you wouldn't know what to do. So, you never mixed, just like water and oil, each of you knowing their place, away from the other.
But you still didn't want to miss out on outings with your friends. So, when Chan invites you for a movie night with Han, and Changbin, you don't say no.
The night runs smoothly, the warm beer you had easing your nerves bit by bit. It was also easier to forget that you once hated Han when he brought tears to your eyes from laughing so hard.
2:56 a.m.
An unbearable heat suddenly envelopes you, your very blood boiling from within. You hesitantly look down, to find your entire body bathed in red, as if your skin had melted away, exposing you to the scorching heat embracing your tender flesh.
You are in the heart of a volcano, with lava bubbling dangerously below. Hanging by a frail thread, you dangle over the edge of death.
And then, you plummet.
You startle awake, your heart pounding in your chest, your hand clutching it tightly. Cold sweat clings to your skin, and it takes you a few moments to realize that you're safe, far from the inside of the volcano that had threatened to consume you.
You glance at your phone- 3:43 a.m. You read. It's only been a mere hour since you went to sleep. You don't think you could drift back into slumber.
Dragging a hand tiredly across your face, you walk into the pitch-black kitchen. You pour yourself a glass of water, hoping that the icy drink will cool you down. You are safe.
"What are you-" you startle, dropping the glass and spinning around, hand pressed to your heart.
"Han, fuck, you scared me," you sigh, tugging at your hair slightly and he's quick to your side, a string of hushed apologies tumbling from his lips.
"I'm sorry, here let me clean it up," he kneels and you follow suit, grabbing his hands and gently pushing them away. "No, I dropped it, let me clean," you reassure, but your hands are trembling as you pick up the shards of glass, any bit of logic clouded by your racing thoughts.
Your heartbeat's ringing loudly in your ears, you barely register the glass cutting your skin until an uncharacteristic warmth oozes from your hand. Blood.
"Shit," you curse lowly and Han illuminates the place with his phone flashlight. "Did you cut yourself?" he asks and you shake your head, walking over to the sink.
"It's nothing, don't worry."
"Yn, let me see," he's standing behind you, the ghost of his breath grazing your exposed neck.
"Han, really it's-" he cuts you off, grabbing your forearm and walking you over to the couch. He finally turns on the lights before crouching down in front of you.
"Show me?" he asks gently and you're too tired to fight him. You open your palm tentatively, taking a look at your cut for the first time as well. It's not too deep, it won't require stitches. But it's also not shallow, blood oozing from it at a steady rhythm.
Han simply frowns upon gazing at your wound, before walking over to his room. You don't move from your spot, gaze lost into the space before you. What would happen if you never woke up? Would you feel your flesh burning? Bones melting as the searing lava-
"Here," he gently holds your wrist, as his eyes meet yours. "This will hurt a bit. Hold my arm as tight as you want and tell me if it becomes too much, okay?"
"Okay," you simply nod.
He dabs up your cut with a cotton pad soaked in alcohol. You hiss softly, as the liquid burns your open skin. Han abruptly stops at the sound. "Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry I didn't mean to I just-"
"It's okay," you smile reassuringly, "I can handle it."
Han nods, resuming his treatment. He's even softer this time, if that is even possible. He's careful when he rubs a soothing gel on your cut, before wrapping your palm in a gauze. He can't find a pair of scissors so he cuts it with his teeth, his lips brushing against the back of your hand. You account the warmth you're suddenly feeling to the aftermath of your nightmare.
"Why are you even up?" he finally asks as he settles next to you on the couch, eyes looking up to the ceiling.
"Nightmare."
"You’re okay?" he asks gently and he sounds truly concerned for your well-being. You aren't used to this. To Han acting like a friend to you. But it feels nice to be cared for, so you don't mind him blurring the lines tonight.
"I'm still a little bit scared," you admit sheepishly and Han's eyes soften under the dim moonlight.
"It passed. You're okay now."
"Am I?" you drag a hand tiredly across your face and Han frowns, inching closer to you.
"Is it a recurring dream?"
"Mm. It tires me out."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No, I just want to forget." 'Help me forget' you want to add, but you decide against it. "Why were you up, anyway?"
"I got inspiration for lyrics so I had to write it down."
"Can you share some with me?" you ask, tone a tad too hopeful. Han catches it and smiles warmly at you.
"Sure. This is probably going to be in the chorus..." he pulls out his phone, heading to his notes app. "This is what I have so far... I let my frustrated screams out hoping that they’d be washed away in the rain. I send it off with a smiling face, down to the last drops left on my fingertips." he pauses, scrolling down a bit more. "I also wrote this; I think it'll be nice in a verse... I’m sure it’ll get better... Just like the earth hardens after the rain and flowers bloom again."
"You're such a talented lyricist Han," you whisper in awe, and Han’s cheeks warm up at your words, reminiscent of a setting sun. "But I also wish it was as easy as this. To let out all the emotions you bottle inside and for them to wash away with the rain." You bite your lip, as Han’s words echo in your head. "I think... I think that's why I get this nightmare. I don't free my emotions anymore, and they show up in my dreams to torment me."
You don't know where these bouts of honesty are coming from. Maybe because you're too weary to keep up a happy facade. Or maybe because you know that the person who wrote these lyrics must understand exactly how you feel.
"Well... It's raining." Han whispers after a while and you look at him, confusion plastered across your features.
"And?"
"Should we test it out?"
"Test what?"
"Screaming under the rain," he says as if it's the most evident thing in the world.
"What? That's insane, Han we will get sick and..." You pause, as the words dissolve in your mouth like the seafoam meeting the shore. "You know what? Let's do it!"
"Really?" he asks incredulously, a huge grin on his face.
"Yes!"
"Okay, let's go!"
You both abruptly stand up, still only clad in your pajamas. You quickly slip your shoes on before running outside. The rain envelops you in a cold hug as soon as you step outside, rain droplets trickling down your clothes. You don't mind, you have lots of bottled-up feelings to free.
"This needs music," Han smiles as he takes out his phone, putting his playlist on shuffle. 'Let The Light In' starts playing, and you shoot him a thumbs-up.
"It fits the rainy mood," you grin and he nods, squinting his eyes to be able to look at you.
"I think if we scream here, we'll scare the neighbors."
"I know!" you chuckle, wiping away the rain droplets on your forehead. "Where should we go?"
"The empty parking lot!" Han shouts so you'll hear him over the growing rain and you nod. He takes off running and you chase after him. You're both completely drenched once you're a bit far away from the house. But you don't care. Not when there is pure adrenaline rushing through you.
You finally stop, loud giggles escaping your mouth at the thrill of what you're doing. "You should start!" you yell excitedly and Han nods, taking in deep steadying breaths.
"Okay, I'm ready!"
"On the count of three! One... Two... Three!" and Han shouts at the top of his lungs, his screams getting lost in the rain. An incredulous smile breaks out on his face as you giggle loudly, the sound of it ringing out in the downpour.
"You looked insane!"
"I feel insane!" He yells honestly and a fit of laughter takes over you both. You hold his arm to steady yourself.
"You should try it now!" Han urges and you nod, willing yourself to calm down.
"Okay, will you count down for me?"
"Yes," he assures and you clap excitedly. Han can't help but smile at the excitement on your face.
"One... Two... Three!" And you shout, continuous screams spilling from the depths of your soul. Han wasn't wrong- your pain, your fear, your anger are all dripping along the rain droplets, from your bruised heart to the tip of your fingers.
You've never felt this free before.
The two of you don't notice the passage of time, the rain acting as a cathartic release to all your pent-up emotions. It was as if your pain intertwined with each rain droplet, and you were letting go of everything that had held you down. Each scream acted as a break from the burdens of the past, and the worries of the future.
As you finally stopped, panting and soaked to the bone, you looked at each other with raw exhilaration in your eyes.
"So, how was it?" Han yells over the rain and you break out in a relieved smile. "I don't think I’ve ever been this happy my entire life," you beam at him and the sight makes the rain feel less colder to Han.
He watches, a small smile on his face as you twirl around, face looking up toward the sky, a deluge of rain grazing your cheeks like a lover's tender touch. The smile doesn't leave your face as you spin around, happy chuckles leaving your mouth from time to time.
You look... free. As if there was an invisible weight on your shoulders that the rain washed away. A heavy burden that you carried within you, like a secret secret. He likes the sound of that. Maybe that's what he'll name his song.
Han slightly shakes his head as he watches you skip around, clothes completely soaked. You are now standing a bit far away, right beside a street lamp.
Ooh, let the light in
Its light shines on you alone.
Time seems to slow down, as Han’s steps falter. You're smiling, not at him, but at the universe. A happiness so raw filling you that it needs to come out, even if no one's watching.
You're spinning around, delighted giggles spilling from you like the most mesmerizing chorus. Something is building up inside Han, begging for a release. It refuses to come out in a scream- violently. It's tender and soft. He thinks that if you held his hand right now, you'd be able to free it.
Look at us, you and I back at it again
Is it possible to feel something other than an emotion? Because right now, weirdly, all he feels is you.
Cause I love to love to love to love you
I hate to hate to hate to hate you
Your eyes land on Han and there is pure joy dancing in your pupils. He's glad you no longer despise him. He doesn't think he can stomach it anymore.
Cause I want to want to want to want you
You run to him, holding his hand before twirling him around.
I need to need to need to need you
Han can't believe he ever thought you weren't human enough. You are a mosaic of every feeling that makes one human. There are lyrics writing themselves in his head and they're all about you.
Ooh, let the light in
You clasp both his hands, before crossing them over. And then you're both spinning around until the world around you blurs. All he sees is you, and the light surrounding you alone.
Ooh, turn your light on
He thinks he might, if the light is you.
5:22 a.m
"There is a heater in my room, you should come," Han offers as you dry your hair with the blue towel he just handed you.
"It's okay I’ll stay here," you point to the couch but he shakes his head adamantly. "You'll die from hypothermia. Do you know how mad Chan will be if I let you pass away?" he whispers in fear, a hand clutching his heart.
"So dramatic," you giggle, before following him into his room. He goes on his bed first before tapping the spot beside him. You sigh before lying next to him, snuggling further into the hoodie he gave you to change.
"You're still shivering," he remarks, as your teeth clink together.
"It's okay."
"You shouldn't have gone out with just a t-shirt."
"I didn't exactly plan on this, you know," you smile sarcastically and Han chuckles before tapping your shoulder softly.
"Come closer."
You debate for a second before complying, the cold tuning out all the rational thoughts in your head.
Your arm brushes against his and you can't breathe once again. But it's a different type of deprivation. Han always seems to steal the oxygen from your lungs, but for once, you don't mind. Red embers are burning within you and their flames keep you alive. You press your chest to his back, as your forehead rests on his shoulder. Maybe he'll turn you to ashes. Will you rise from them?
"You're so cold," his hand reaches behind to rub your arms soothingly, an earnest attempt to warm you up.
"I’ll be fine, go to sleep. Don't worry about me."
"I can't control it."
In the dark room, Han can't see you curling your hand into a tight fist at his words.
"If you stay quiet then I’ll sleep," you say after a while and Han giggles softly.
"That's the goal. You need to rest."
"You should sleep too."
"I will."
"Okay. Good night, Han."
"Good night, Yn."
You think he's fallen asleep when you speak up again. "Hey, Han."
"Yes, Yn?" He replies instantly, voice slightly hoarse.
"Can you repeat that lyric to me, about the flowers blooming again?" You ask quietly, and you feel him nodding against your chest.
"I’m sure it’ll get better... Just like the earth hardens after the rain and flowers bloom again."
His warm voice vibrates within your body. "That's a nice lyric."
"I hope you'll dream of it instead."
☄༄
Against Han’s strong belief, he's the one who fell sick after your rain-soaked outing.
You knew of it from Chan, who texted you saying that Han caught a nasty cold, and then got food poisoning, which meant he couldn't be there for their highly anticipated meeting—after their electrifying Heyday performance, a record label expressed strong interest in signing them.
"Can you come over and stay with Han?" Chan implores as soon as he answers your call.
“That bad?” You ask, a pout pulling at your lips.
"I don't want to leave him alone. He's been really sick for the past week now, and… it's partly your fault"
"I can’t believe you’re guilt-tripping me into coming," you chuckle even though you know he is right. Han wouldn’t have gotten out in the rain if it wasn’t for you.
"I'm sorry it’s just I don't think he's been good, apart from the illness. And I’m worried, and I don’t know I thought maybe you could talk to him. He reminds me of you, in his sadness, so you might understand what's wrong more than me."
You think it over for a second before rising up from your bed.
"I'm coming"
As soon as you step inside their dorm, Chan pulls you for a side hug, placing a quick kiss on your forehead. “Thank you so much,” he whispers, clearly grateful that you agreed to come. It worries you even more for Han.
“No problem. You can go, I’ll be with him.”
“Thank you, Yn” Changbin smiles before hastily pulling Chan outside the door. You wave them both goodbye.
You cautiously crack open the door to Han’s room, to find it completely engulfed in darkness. The stream of light from the door falls upon Han, who squints his eyes, trying to see who disrupted his fragile peace.
"Hi," you speak softly, finding it a bit odd to raise your voice in such a still room. Han attempts to sit up, before doubling over, hand tightly clutched around his stomach.
You rush to his side, kneeling beside his bed. It's the only lit-up part of the room.
"Still hurts?" you ask, your hand moving in soothing circles on his back. He nods, eyes squeezed shut, and you feel your heart crack at the sight.
"Have you taken any medicine?"
"A few hours ago. I need to eat something before I can take more, but I can't get up to the kitchen."
"Why didn't you tell the boys?"
"Didn't want to be a burden."
"You aren't. I'll make you something to eat. Okay? Try to sleep meanwhile."
"You don't have to," Han shakes his head, his eyes finally meeting yours.
"I know," you smile softly, before exiting the room.
Minutes later, you're back in the room, a bowl of sliced fruit in your hands.
"Do you guys live off protein powder and frozen chicken?" you ask, earning a quiet laugh from Han as he lays his back against the headboard.
"We do. Please save me," he jokes and you laugh, shaking your head. "Good thing I grabbed some fruit before leaving."
"Thank you," he grins, eyes slightly squinting closed.
"Here," you grab a strawberry, bringing it to his lips. His eyebrows raise up in surprise, a sheen layer of sweat coating them. "What? Look at how tightly you're clutching the comforter," you point to his hands and Han sighs, before parting his lips slightly.
His mouth brushes against your fingertips, igniting a cascade of emotions in you. You'll think about what it means later.
You grab a green grape next, feeding it to him gently. A drop of water trickles down the corner of his mouth, and you wipe it away with the back of your finger.
"I can- I can do it," Han mumbles, voice wavering like an unpredictable storm. His trembling hands reach for the bowl, but they struggle to hold it right.
"Han, it's okay, I don't mind," you try to keep your voice gentle, sensing that there is an impending doom awaiting just below the surface.
"No, I- I need to do it. Just let me-" A tear falls into the fruit bowl. "Let me do it, please. I can- I can do it, I’m not useless, I…"
The floodgate opens.
A stream of tears escapes Han's eyes as he looks down at the bowl between his hands. He's crying, eyes tightly shut and the small whimpers escaping his lips feel like a dagger piercing your heart.
"You're sick. Let me take care of you."
"It's horrible horrible work." His voice cracks as his eyes finally lock on yours, and you can tell that his anguish isn't about his illness. These are the words of the shadows threatening to swallow him whole. You have to fight them off with the light.
"I will do it."
As Han lays on his bed, the sound of you washing the dishes resonating from the kitchen, your voice bounces off the dark walls in his head. You didn't try to convince him that it was easy work, you told him you'll do it, even if it's horrible. You'll do it because you want to, not because you can, not because it's accessible. The thought sends a warmth in his chest. It's faint, like a flickering candle trying its best to withstand the wind. But it's there. He holds on to it. He'll shield it with his cupped hands so it wouldn't fizzle out.
"Hannie, you’re okay?" you peer into the room. Hannie- the candle's flame grows higher.
"Mm," he hums, too weak to turn and look at you.
"You're shivering," you remark, and he tightens the blanket around his body. "It'll pass."
You stay silent, and he thinks you've left the room. But then he feels the left side of the bed dip, with you climbing tentatively on it.
"This worked last time when I was cold," you smile softly at him, before bringing his head to your chest and wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He feels frail and fragile in your embrace. You hug him tighter to you.
"Warming up?" you ask and he nods against your chest. He's burning.
"Try to sleep," you urge quietly, your hand moving to pat his back. "It will pass."
"What if it doesn't?" Han asks faintly. Please don't let the candle die, he wants to plead.
"There is always light at the end of the tunnel."
"What if the tunnel is closed?"
"Then you go back to the start and find a new one," you respond.
"Can I find it later? I'm so tired tonight." His voice is drowsy, sleep already clinging to his achy bones.
"Just rest for now. You did well," you scratch his back lightly, as he nuzzles further into the crook of your neck.
There was never a candle to begin with- you were the light.
☄༄
Had someone told you five months ago that you'd be lying on Han's bed, watching "Howl's Moving Castle" at 2 a.m., you would've thought they were utterly delusional.
Yet, here you are now.
A lot of things had changed since your rainy outing with Han, as if the universe had shifted into alignment, two stars in the sky finally colliding and making way for something new. You saw him under a different light, understanding that no one picks up a dandelion unless they desperately need the solace it provides.
You've grown to care for him, in the course of the past two months. And funnily enough, you've started to like who you were next to him- just yourself, with no pressure of making conversation, or catering to his expectations of you.
He saw you at your worst anyway, and so did you, there was no use in filtering things anymore.
You've been there through the entire process of writing, composing, and producing Secret Secret- the song whose lyrics had captured your heart. You didn't expect him to ask you to be there with him, he just shot you a text, three days after you came over to his house. 'Wanna be there while I work on the song? I know you liked the lyrics.' It was an offer you couldn't pass up on.
You weren't, in your opinion, much help. Han was gifted in the music realm and song-making flowed naturally from him. But he noticed how interested you were in music, so he called you over each time he worked on the song, even asking for your input at times.
That's why, when the song was finally done and released on 3racha's Spotify account, you decided to celebrate by baking him a cake. You may have dropped an eggshell in the batter (you recovered it later on), and the icing's color turned out less vibrant than what you hoped for. But you managed to adorn it with a garden of little flowers, and with store-bought icing, you wrote the words "after the rain flowers will bloom again."
You showed up to the dorm and Changbin pointed you to Han's room, where he had apparently been holed up all day. You shot him a grateful smile, before pushing the door open with your foot.
"What are you doing here?" Han asked, an incredulous smile drawn on his lips.
"Surprise!" you grinned, pushing the cake his way. "Congrats on making Secret Secret."
"Are you serious?" he chuckled, jumping out of his bed. He peered at the cake, eyes softening as he gazed down at the design.
"You drew a little garden..." he whispered in awe and you nodded, a faint blush creeping up your face.
"I'm glad you recognized what it was. I'm not the best baker," you admit a bit shyly but he shook his head. "It's perfect. I can't believe you did this to celebrate our baby!"
"Your baby," you corrected, although the use of 'our' warmed up your chest, weirdly enough.
"You were here with me every step of the way. She's ours."
"It's a she?" you giggled, and he smiled proudly.
"Mm. Do you accept being her mother?" he mused; hands clasped in front of his heart like he was praying you'd say yes.
"It would be my greatest honor," you nodded solemnly, and he let out a breathy chuckle, grabbing the cake from your hands and setting it on his bed.
"Should we hug it out?" he teased, arms stretched wide but you merely stared at him, unimpressed.
"Come on," he whined, "you can't reject me for the third time. And, in front of our child. On her birthday!" his tone grew louder and you couldn't help but giggle at his mock outrage.
"Try harder."
"Our child won't know what a loving parent relationship is and then she'll seek out unhealthy love from the ones around her and-" you cut him off by finally wrapping your arms around him.
You've always known that being near Han left you breathless, but this time, it felt as though he was breathing life into you. You close your eyes instinctively, as his hold tightens on you. He smells immensely nice, like pinewood and soap. You should've hugged him sooner.
"Thank you," he said quietly, forehead pressed against your shoulder blade.
"You did well," you whisper back.
"We did. She's our child, remember?" he reprimanded and you laughed faintly.
"Yeah, ours."
Hours later, the movie's credits finally roll down, and the finished cake sits idly by Han's desk.
"I should go," you rub your eyes tiredly, and Han stares at you as if you are out of your mind.
"At this hour? Do you want our kid to lose her mom?"
"Han," you drawl, hitting his head with the pillow next to you. "You can't hold me hostage."
"I can, as your husband."
"Since when are we married?"
"Since you agreed to be Secret's mother." Another playful hit to his face.
"Stop attacking my face, how will I get laid then?"
"So, you are cheating on me?" you ask, feigning outrage.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry baby you're the only one I want." You falter at the nickname before hitting him even harder, matching the tempo of your quickening heartbeat.
"You're crazy," he laughs, grabbing your wrists and pinning you onto the bed. He's hovering over you, eyes hooded with a tender intensity as he gazes down at you.
"Will you stay, please?"
"The couch is uncomfortable," you reply, avoiding his eyes. He lets go of one wrist before holding your chin gently, urging you to look at him.
"You can sleep here. We've done it before."
"You were freezing both times. That's why I did it."
"I'm very cold tonight," he pouts, eliciting a surprised chuckle from you.
"Are you now?"
"Very much so."
"Fine. Only because I don't want you to die from hypothermia."
"Thank you!" he grins excitedly, finally letting go of your wrist. You bring a hand to your flushed cheeks, as he tosses a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants in your direction.
"Get changed! There is a spare toothbrush in the cabinet."
You make sure to groan theatrically, before heading into the bathroom, where you splash your face repeatedly with water. You aren't used to this- being a blushy mess, because of Han, nonetheless. It was dizzying you, how things took the complete opposite turn between you and him.
At least, back then you weren't alone in your hate, you couldn't stand being alone in your affection.
So, you'd stop this, whatever feeling that's coursing through you. Tomorrow, you will firmly close the door on the blooming feelings within you. But tonight, you’d both lay on the same bed, arms brushing against one another. It's completely dark and quiet, but there is an entire symphony playing within you.
"Thank you for today," he whispers, turning around and tucking his arm under his head, this way he's facing you.
You mirror his actions, and your fingertips brush against one another. You can't see him but you can feel him. He's everywhere, wrapping around all your senses.
"Thank you for making this song. It's very comforting to me."
"Why is that?" he questions, inching closer to you, you can feel his minty breath fan all over your face.
"I’ve always felt like I carried too many emotions within me. Like a volcano, bubbling over until the day I explode. I never liked feeling this way, so I tried to hide it," you confess softly.
"Like a secret secret."
"Like a secret secret," you repeat, glad that he understands.
"You don't have to hide with me," he says after a few silent beats, and you swallow nervously.
"I know." you lick your lips as the music inside you grows louder. "Still cold?"
"A little."
"Come closer," you beckon, and he complies instantly, wrapping his arm behind your back and drawing your chest close to his. Your legs entangle with one another, as your face lays on the crook of his neck. It's intimate, far more than any time you've done it before. You don't want to sink in his hold in fear of never resurfacing again.
"Good?" he asks, voice tinged with a newfound raspiness.
"Mm," you hum, and he releases a relieved sigh.
You've once read that everything in this universe sings. Every atom's vibration creates a sound, contributing to a grand celestial chorus. It's an unscientific, but lovely thought, to wonder who our hearts sing for.
Right now, it's for Han.
☄༄
The music echoes through your being, an ever-present melody that refuses to fade into silence. Even with no audience to enjoy it.
Han always found his way back to your side, no matter how many times you've tried to distance yourself from him. And you couldn't bring yourself to refuse him, because you were friends, first and foremost. And friends don't abandon one another just because a mere glance at them sprouts a blush across your cheeks.
That's how you find yourself on your way to Han's dorm, for the third time that week. Watching movies together has become your little tradition, for the past few months, and sometimes even Chan joins in. Although he mostly enjoys shooting you a knowing smile, to which you flip him off.
Your phone rings and Han's name illuminates your screen. You smile against your will.
"Can't wait to see me this much?" you singsong and Han's chuckle rings through the phone. It's rich and deep, causing you to tighten your hold on the device.
"Yes. And can you please go to the store? I'm out of snacks."
"What do I get out of it?" you muse, changing directions to the nearest convenience store.
"Snacks."
"Asshole," you giggle on your way to cross the road.
"And my eternal gratitude of course."
"Right, because I can't-" Loud tires screech right beside you and you startle, letting out a loud yelp as you drop your phone.
A hand on top of your heart, you bend down to pick up your fallen device, as the driver gets out of the car that grazed your body, mere inches away from hitting you.
"Are you okay, miss? I'm sorry I didn't see you." The middle-aged man is quick to your side, and you glance at the small kid in his car, willing yourself to calm down for their sake.
"I'm fine. Just a bit startled. Drive more slowly, there is a kid with you."
"I know, I'm sorry," he drags a hand through his stressed features and you couldn't help but feel sympathy for him. "It's okay, don't worry about it. Just pay more attention to the road, okay?"
"Thank you so much. Thank you," he clasps his hand in gratitude before getting back to his car and you wave him off, your heart still wildly beating in your chest.
You head into the convenience store, picking up the snacks you know Han loves before paying for them. But as soon as you step back outside, you spot a disheveled Han crossing the road, sprinting toward the store. His pace quickens upon spotting you.
"What are you..." your question is cut short as his arms wrap around you, pulling you to his chest instantly. You can feel the frantic rhythm of his heart, and you're confused as he pulls away, hands cradling your cheeks and turning your face left and right.
"You're alright, nothing happened to you, right? You’re okay?" he inquires urgently and you let out a confused giggle, as you grab his arm to steady him.
"What are you talking about?"
"I heard the tires screech and you yelled and then you didn't pick up when I called and I thought-" his voice cracks. "I thought something happened to you."
"No, no. I'm okay. Nothing happened, I promise." you reassure, as he brings you to his chest once again, his hand smoothing the top of your hair.
"I was so scared," he kisses your temple, as his thumping heart resounds within your chest. "So terrified that something would happen to you. I thought I'd lose my mind."
"You don't mean that," you shake your head slowly, peeling yourself away from him.
"Can you really not see how much I care about you? How I crave being near you?" his voice raises a slight octave. The music in you picks up.
"How long do I have to pretend to be cold to have you nearby? For god's sake, I'm never cold around you, yn. When I see you, I ignite." He takes in a deep breath, pressing his forehead onto your shoulder. "And I... I couldn't have lived with myself if something happened to you. I... You drive me crazy, Yn. When we became friends it felt like I was stepping inside a home for the first time, and yet I already knew each turn in it."
He grabs your arms, shaking you slightly as his chest heaves up and down. "My darkness recognizes yours and my light is you and you- you think I wouldn't care if anything happened to you?"
He shakes his head as tears prickle in the corners of his eyes. Has his music always been this loud, were you just not listening properly?
"I'm scared because we didn't start well and I understand if a part of your heart still resents me, I do. But I don't think I can pretend anymore. Not with you," his voice softens as his gaze locks on yours.
"Were you pretending too?" He asks, hope dripping from his tone. "Do you feel it too?"
A split second goes by. A candle flickering somewhere. A dandelion plucked from the ground. The shadow of a cloud passing over the sun- and you pick.
"I feel it too. So much that my heart feels like it’s singing for you, Han."
"I'll sing for it in return," he whispers, before crashing his lips onto yours. His hand slides up the back of your neck, drawing you closer. You drop the bags of groceries as you cradle his cheeks, feeling them warm up beneath your touch. You can't believe you've ever disliked your heart for feeling too much, not when the lovely emotions flowing in your heart threaten to burst it at the seams, submerging you in a warmth you've never known before- Han.
Two months later
You have 3 new messages from: hannie
"kept this song a secret from you baby but i wrote it for you so you can't be mad"
"i don't know if you remember but you’ve once told me that you are a volcano. as if that’s something that’s supposed to put me off. well, some people dedicate their lives to studying volcanos. and i would dedicate mine to learning you."
“Babyyy, I’m homeeee~” Han announces as he steps inside your home. It’s a Saturday afternoon and he just got back from the company, having another practice run of their new routine for their comeback.
He pads around the living room, wondering where you are, when he catches sight of a pair of socked feet, peeking out from beside the sofa.
Quietly, he approaches your area and he sees you all snuggled up on a comforter on the floor. His spiderman and quokka pillows all around you. Your books and notes from med school left on the coffee table with one of your pens still open. He smiles softly to himself as he watches your chest gently rise and fall from your sleep.
“Look at you, hoarding all my stuff,” he whispers adoringly as he crouches down to on the floor to level with you. He winces a little once he was leveled to you, as his body is still aching from the dance routine Hyunjin and LeeKnow made for them.
“Sleep well, my love. I’ll come to you in a bit.” He whispers before leaving a lingering kiss on your forehead, ever so gently, hoping not to wake you.
But you do wake up, because as he slowly stood back up, he let out a loud grunt when he felt his lower back ache in piercing pain.
Your eyes flutter open almost immediately, and you quickly get up from where you were. You sit on the floor and reach out to Han.
“Baby, what’s wrong? Are you okay? Does anything hurt?” You ramble as your hand find his. He squeezes yours as he led himself to sit on the sofa in front of your little makeshift bed on the floor, his hand never letting go.
“Sorry to wake you up, gorgeous. I’m fine. Just a little ache here and there,” he says while his other hand joins to caress your hand still clasped in his.
You arch an eyebrow at him, not believing anything he’s saying. Not when you see how he hasn’t changed out of his practice clothes yet, and his shirt is a bit damp with sweat. His hair is disheveled, and you see pain relief patches peeking from behind his neck as well.
Sighing, you look at him directly on the eyes. Your heart ached when he looked back. He looked beat, but you can still see how he’s trying to reassure you that he’s fine.
You bring yourself to lay your head on his lap carefully, hugging him from there. You feel him reach out to give you a small pat on the back, then rubbing small circles there after.
“I swear, my love. I’m fine.” He repeats.
You stay there resting your head on his lap for a bit, until you feel him relaxing to you as well. You feel his legs lose their tension, and peek at him from above. His eyes are closed and he’s leaning on the sofa now. His hands still on your back.
Slowly, you get up from the floor and sit next to him, careful not to bump into him as you feel like he’s sore all over.
“Tell you what, Hannie. You rest here for a bit and I’ll go run a bath for you, okay? Then we’ll change your patches and get you some pain reliever and… possibly an early dinner? Would you like that? How does that sound, hmm?” You ask softly while caressing his cheek gently.
He lets out a puff of breath as he reaches out to the hand caressing his face. He leans on to your hold and his eyes flutter open, meeting yours.
“I’m ashamed to say this right now, but that would sound wonderful, baby,” he sighs dreamily, probably already imagining the relief he’d get after all that.
You smile softly at him, wondering how, after all this time, you’re dating THE Han Jisung. The Han Jisung who’s loud and naughty on camera and the stage. The Han Jisung who only lets out this side of him to you and his members whom he trust the most. You stare lovingly at the man you have loved since you were 19, fangirling over their group and especially him. You smile to yourself as you let out a sigh when it hits you that also, after all this time, he’s still shy around you when you want to take care of him. He rarely asks for help or anything from you, because he wants to be the giver when it comes to you.
“Don’t be. Please. Let me take care of you too. It’s always you taking care of me despite your schedules and all that.” You tell him.
“But it feels unfair still. I’m always out and about, and I often leave home during tours so you’re left alone here to study and stuff… I don’t feel like those are enough at all, y/n.”
Your eyes soften at that and you lean in to give him a kiss on the cheek.
“Those are more than enough for me, Hannie. YOU are more than enough for me.” You tell him, as your face still hovers directly over his.
This time, it’s his turn to cup your cheek with both hands. He pulls you closer to him, and he rests his forehead on yours. His eyelashes tickle you as his eyes flutter close and his nose lovingly rubs on top of your own.
“I just want to be good enough so you can be proud of me…” he whispers, a tinge of sadness in his low voice.
Your eyes threaten to spill with tears as he said those words, and he notices it. His hold on your face gets a bit stronger, his thumb caressing your cheeks.
“But baby, I AM proud of you. Loads. I don’t deserve an angel like you. I don’t even think YOU deserve me. But I still love you despite that, okay? I still want to be the best one for you, because that’s what you deserve, and I’m afraid I’m not that yet.” You assure him, spinning the wheel towards you instead.
“Baby, you ARE the best. You are MY best. I deserve you as much as you deserve me. What you don’t deserve is a boyfriend who’s almost always never home, that’s why I’m doing my best to make it up to you somehow.” He pouts.
You’re at a loss for words, so you kiss him instead, hoping that it would relay your thoughts to him for you.
He relaxes into the kiss as his other hand leaves your cheek to find your waist, pulling you closer to him.
“I feel like you’re not taking any of my shit seriously, baby.” He says as you break from the kiss. You giggle at that, making him smile. It makes you feel better seeing him smile.
“I am so not. Don’t you ever say I don’t deserve my Han Jisung ever again. Clear?” You tease.
He smiles fully this time, as he gives you a quick peck on the lips again.
“Okay, Doc.” He teases, making your cheeks blush furiously.
“Don’t call me that. I’m not it yet.” You shyly say as you leave your spot beside him so you can run his bath and prepare his patches and meds.
“Why not, when you’re taking care of me so well? You even have a notebook with all my medical needs, remember?” He further teases, making you remember how, when one time during their last promotions, you rushed to their company after hearing that he fainted from practice, and you ended up bombarding their PD and nurses about any conditions you might have and you wrote them down.
“Shut up, Peter.” You finally say, using his english name.
“Oh, I’m not baby anymore?” He pouts. He followed you to the bathroom as you filled the tub with warm water and bubbles.
“You are definitely baby. One I need to take care of right now or else he won’t be going to practice next week when he still says another ‘ouch’ until Monday morning,” you huff.
“That could work. You don’t have school on Monday right? I think I’ll just call in sick so you could take care of me,” he winks.
You had the urge to slap his arm, but you stop yourself in time, reminding your urges that he needs to be relieved of body pain right now.
So, you let him take his bath. Then when he was done, you fed him and gave him his meds, and gently placed pain relief patches in the areas where he felt the most sore, massaging therapy oil in for good measure too.
By 7pm, both of you are in the living room again. Him lying on the sofa, you still on the floor, sitting cross legged, reviewing your notes.
“Baby,” he says after a few beats. His eyes focused on the back of your head and no longer on the TV screen playing softly in the background.
“Hmm? Do you need anything?” You ask, as you bring your attention to him. You face him, feeling his forehead incase he suddenly got a fever.
“I need…” he starts, looking suddenly shy.
“You need what, baby? Hmm?”
“I need you.” He mumbles, barely a whisper, but you catch it in time.
“Need me to what, Hannie?” You ask worriedly, searching his face with concern.
He scoots even further into the sofa, then sheepishly opens his arms, inviting you to apparently, stay with him.
You chuckle at his child like antics, the one you fell inlove with along with the other things that makes him so unique.
“But won’t you be sore my love?” You ask him as you lean on to the sofa, reaching out to lightly pinch his cheeks.
“No, I don’t think so. It’s just…” he trails off again, dropping his arms.
“Just what, Hannie?” You ask, amusement evident in your voice this time. You want to tease him so badly, but you just decide to be soft with him tonight and give in to his pleas. Your hands find his arm, which you caress reassuringly, urging him to just be open.
“I want to be close to you right now… please?” He asks. He gets the courage to look at you straight in the eyes.
You smile adoringly at him, so not being able to resist, you drop your things on the table, grab one quokka plushie, and carefully climbed on to the sofa with him.
“Can you leave Han Quokka behind? I don’t want to share you right now.” He suddenly teases once you’re snuggled with him, a knitted blanket draped over the both of you.
His sudden outburst made you snort out laughter, much to his embarrassment.
“I’m serious. You’ve been hoarding my pillows too much lately. I’m actually jealous.” He pouts.
You push yourself up as you guide him to his back better, one of your hands on his chest.
“Are you sore here too?” You ask.
“Not really, why?”
“Will you let me use your chest as a pillow then?”
Han then grins, adjusting his arms so he could accommodate you to lie down on his chest. He winces a bit, so you cautiously avoid contact.
“No, no, please, I can take it. Let me be your favorite pillow instead,” he said, strong determination shining in his eyes.
You giggle fondly at your boyfriend, and carefully, you snuggle on top of him. His arms later secure you to him, hands tracing lazy circles on your back.
“I love you…” he whispers after a few moments of silence. His breathing getting slower and more even, letting you know that he’s sleepy.
You push gently from your spot so you can look at his droopy eyes, and your heart aches again, this time with love, as you see in them how much he meant those three little words.
Carefully, you push yourself up to reach out to kiss his forehead, his nose, his cheeks, that corner on his jaw that he’s always so sensitive for, and finally, his lips.
Han smiles into the kiss, gently giving back to you. One of his hands find its way into your hair, gently playing around with it.
And that moment makes you melt into his warmth. His presence. That moment makes you more determined to be what the both of you deserve.
“I love you, Hannie…” you whisper breathlessly after the kiss. His eyes are closed, but he’s still smiling.
“I love you, y/n. Always in all ways…” he whispers.
You reach out to kiss his eyelids gently before retreating back to the comfort of his embrace and back to your now favorite pillow: his chest.
“Get some rest now, my love. I’ll rest with you.” You whisper back, as Han’s breathing becomes slower and more even, letting you know that he’s finally drifted off to sleep.
—-
AAAAA I MISSED WRITING ABOUT STRAY KIDS! This is my first time writing for Han. Been missing him loads, lately. Also, I’m so excited for their comeback!
I hope you love this as much as I did while writing it! I wanted to come up with a soft scenario for Han in my head because (I REALY REALY REALLY) miss his goofy self so much.
As always, if you enjoy my work, please reblog it so other people could find my works too! ^^
“Shit,” y/n mutters, as she jolts up from bed. It was already 5 pm, and she only planned to sleep for an hour after coming home from their company meeting 3 hours ago.
Groaning from the sudden dizziness she felt from immediately standing up, she shuffles from the bedroom to the kitchen, comforter still draped over her from head to foot. Slowly, she went down the stairs, and as soon as she reached the last step, she stumbles.
Cursing under her breath, she spins around to retrieve her slipper which got thrown off when she tripped. As soon as she wore it back, she bumps into the coat hanger by the stairs.
“What is happening to me…” she sighs after letting go of another string of curses. She stands at the landing, hands on her hips, and decides to remove her blanket. She was only wearing her tank top and trousers from the meeting a while ago, and the sudden rush of air that hit her made her shiver.
Slowly, and more awake this time, she drags herself to the kitchen to start preparing dinner, knowing that Wonwoo will be coming back from practice soon. She wanted to cook for him tonight, since tomorrow’s the weekend and they’ll both be having day offs.
For a bit, it was clear that she was facing another dilemma since she couldn’t find the pan. She swore it was under the sink with the other cooking materials. Dumbfounded and frustrated, she sits herself on the kitchen island and leans back on her palms… then she sees it: tucked away on the high shelf.
Determined to continue what she took all the trouble for, she started helping herself on top of the kitchen island so she could reach towards the shelf. Carefully, while holding on to the shelf, she places her other foot to the sink so she could reach better. She already got the handle of the pan when she felt her footing slipping from the sink.
Panic rushed through her, so she gripped on the shelf with both hands, the pan falling with a loud clang on the floor instead.
“Ha…” she starts, laughing bitterly at herself for her misfortunes so far in a span of a few minutes since waking up.
“This is what you get for sleeping in, y/n” she scolds herself, as she tries to steady herself so she could get down from the situation she was in.
“And this is what you get when you’re stuck like a damsel in distress hanging on from a ledge,” comes an all-too-familiar deep voice from behind her.
“Oh, hey Wons. Fancy seeing you in this, uh… point of view.” She says awkwardly, bitterness still in her voice, as Wonwoo gently reached out to steady her by grabbing her waist. It was no problem for him whatsoever since he was gifted with towering height.
That’s when y/n realized that it was probably him who put the pan there.
“Hey, not that I’m accusing you or whatever, but did you put the pan up on this shelf?” She asks, a tinge or irritation in her voice this time, as Wonwoo lifts her down from the sink.
“Uhm, yes, your honor.” He teases with a nervous laugh. “Sorry. I was preparing stuff to use for tonight because I wanted to cook steak for you because you mentioned craving for it yesterday…” he explains, not knowing what else to say or what to make of the situation.
Y/n smiles to herself then suddenly plops to the floor, much to Wonwoo’s panic.
“BABY, ARE YOU ALRIGHT???” He panics as he immediately crouches down to her level, cradling her head, afraid that y/n hit herself on the cabinet.
Suddenly, y/n sobs. Wonwoo sits himself on the floor and pulls her to his chest, letting her cry there while he rubbed circles on her back while still cradling her head.
“Can you fill me in, love? I need to know what you’re feeling right now.” He finally says after a few minutes and y/n’s sobs finally slows down. Wonwoo still looked lost trying to piece everything together as to why he found his fiancé in that situation earlier.
“I wanted to cook dinner for you tonight instead of getting take-out…” she said in between hiccups. Wonwoo squeezed her waist gently to let her know she could keep going.
“…but I slept in. I think I wasn’t fully awake yet.” She sighs, letting out a sorry laugh and leaning back on to Wonwoo’s chest.
“I figured the half asleep thing already.” Wonwoo chuckles as he points to the blanket on the chair. Y/n thought he must have picked it up from where she just dropped it earlier when he came home.
“Sorry, you had to see me in this mess…” she whispers as she hid herself on the croook of Wonwoo’s neck, trying to calm herself by inhaling his scent.
Wonwoo leans down to give y/n a kiss on the side of her forehead and hugs her closer.
“You don’t have to be sorry. Why are you saying sorry? Where’s my fierce attorney who always defends herself from silly things?” He teases, trying to make you feel lighter.
Wonwoo smiles as he feels your lips forming a small smile and a soft chuckle from where you were touching him on his neck. Mission accomplished.
“I love you, y/n. Thank you for always doing your best to take care of me too despite our equally busy schedules. But I got you for tonight, okay? I know you’re tired from the trip home.” He coos as he continued to caress your back and hair.
“Okay, okay… I’m so-“ y/n gets cut off as Wonwoo stopped her from saying another apology by kissing her briefly.
“Say it one more time and I won’t stop kissing you from the kitchen floor. I would have liked it better if you said you love me instead of another apology.” Wonwoo teases as he tucks stray hair behind y/n’s ears.
“Okay, your honor.” She butts back. “I love you.”
Slowly, Wonwoo helps her back to her feet. Y/n was going to pick the pan from the floor but Wonwoo beat her to it.
“Ah- No. You go sit there and have coffee to wake yourself up. I’m cooking tonight.” He says as he guides you to the stools by the island, two to-go cups of your favorite coffee waiting for you on the counter.
Y/n smiles gratefully as Wonwoo leans to give her another reassuring kiss on the head.
“Guess I can’t say no to that when there’s coffee involved.” Y/n muses as she reaches for the cup and her phone. She gives Wonwoo his cup which he takes with a wink.
Y/n then watched fondly as Wonwoo did what he had to. When she got back from her dreamy state, she turns her phone on. Her eyes widen in another realization as she sees the date on her screen.
“Wons… it’s Friday the 13th…” she says after a few beats, and Wonwoo exaggerates a gasp from his place on the sink, a silly smile already forming on his lips as he prepared the things he needs, an apron already donned over his practice clothes.
“Maybe that was why I was so unlucky today…” she further mussed as Wonwoo chuckles while setting the stove with the steak.
When he was done, he sits beside y/n, nudging her on the shoulder.
“You weren’t entirely unlucky. You were actually extremely lucky that I came home and saw you just in time. I’m even cooking dinner now instead of you.” He says matter-of-factly, his hands finding yours as he starts playing with your fingers warmed from your coffee cup.
“But don’t your fans call you a black cat?”
“Look baby. Black cats are deemed to be unlucky right? So negative black cat, plus negative Friday the 13th, is equal to…?”
“…a positive? I don’t know love, I’m not sure. I’m a lawyer who failed her high school maths.”
Wonwoo laughs at that, making y/n giggle along.
“That doesn’t matter. I don’t feel the unlucky energy… because my lucky charm is here to balance things out.” He softly says, while keeping eye contact.
Y/n feels herself blush despite his cheesy attack, so she playfully pushes Wonwoo away from her.
“Stop talking nonsense.” She quips.
“Oh, but I’m not.” He teases further, this time towering over her.
She looks up at Wonwoo who was leaning even closer while he locked y/n in between his arms and the counter with challenge in her eyes.
“Weren’t I the lucky person a while ago?” She asks.
“You can say that again. But I’m luckier because I have you.”
“I’m luckier because I have YOU.” She fights back.
A timer sounds from the other side of the kitchen, signaling for Wonwoo to check back on his steak.
He leans in and kisses y/n suddenly, leaving her shocked. She adjusts to the kiss and finds herself melting to Wonwoo’s hold as he continues his gentle attack.
Breathless from the kiss, Wonwoo finally leans his forehead on y/n’s and whispers
“You can thank your stars all you want but I’ll always be the lucky one.”
Y/n was left flustered, nursing back her coffee cup as Wonwoo victoriously walks back to his steak.
“Would you like your steak well-done, attorney?” He teases as he turns off his timer and the stove, the smell of meat wafting through the air.
——————————
Been a while since i was inspired to write anything TT I hope you like this one! (Been really gushing over Wonwoo recently especially during their events pre-comeback. Ehe)
As usual, please reblog if you love my work so other people could discover my stuff too!
Can I request an imagine with Minghao doing readers hair? I just feel like he’s be so gentle and if he doesn’t know how he’d learn just for his s/o 💞
of course, anon!! here u go <3 i hope u enjoy it! i assume this is for a fem reader but please let me know if u meant otherwise!
—
you sit cross legged on the floor in front of the coffee table, absentmindedly shovelling bite-sized pieces of fruit into your mouth, placed on the table courtesy of minghao. you continue to type away on your laptop, pushing stray strands of hair out of your face subconsciously. moments later you do it again, this time firmer and with an audible huff.
the action makes your boyfriend look up from his phone from his spot on the armchair opposite you. he raises an eyebrow at your futile attempts to keep your hair out of your face, watching the way it falls back in front of your ears a few moments later.
“do you want me to get you a hair tie?”, he questions. you look up at him and nod.
“my sweet lifesaver, yes, please”, you shoot him a quick smile.
he’s back a minute later and you reach out for the hair tie in his hand before he plops onto the couch behind you. you look at him in confusion when he grins at you.
“what if i braid it back?”, he asks sweetly and you squeeze his leg from your spot on the floor.
“go ahead, hao. i’d like to see your braiding skills”, you say with a chuckle before you turn around to face your laptop again.
and that’s how minghao finds himself with a handful of hair in his hand, a hair tie on his wrist and eyebrows furrowed in confusion. the youtube tutorial made it looks so easy, he thinks. you hear the faint sound of his phone on the couch behind you. playing something about one piece of hair over the other. you laugh and try turning your head to look at him.
“no, no, baby, stay still. you do your thing”, he mumbles, staring at the back of your head in focus.
“you sure you don’t want my help, hao?”, you say as you turn back around.
“i’ve got this, i’ll create the prettiest braid you’ve ever seen”. he says and you hum fondly, soft smile on your face.
minghao fiddles with your hair for another 10 minutes before sighing and rewinding the tutorial playing on his phone. he whispers a small, “not yet, love” when you move to turn around and you comply.
gentle fingers card through your hair, soft touches on the nape of your neck tickling you as your boyfriend patiently tries weaving your hair into a braid. 20 minutes later, with a final stroke of your head and a squeeze of your shoulders he proudly declares that he’s “all done!”.
you feel the braid at the back of your head, it’s messy and slightly skewed but it’s a full braid. and to you, it’s perfect. you finally turn to face him, beaming.
“how did i do?”, he asks, cheeks puffed up in a proud smile.
“so good, i’m very proud”, you say as you climb onto the couch and take a seat beside him with a giggle. “my boyfriend might be a hair stylist”.
you leave a quick kiss to his cheek and he responds with a sweet kiss pressed to your lips.
“it’s definitely a little messy, you’re too sweet to me”, he says with a squeeze of your hand.
“maybe it is, but i think it’s the prettiest braid i’ve ever seen”, you tell him.
and the smile he gives you, bright eyes crinkling at the corners, is definitely the prettiest you’ve ever seen.
"hand me that gatorade?" he asks, his voice traveling to you as he rummages through his duffle bag. you pick up the blue drink and tap his shoulder with it, making him turn around.
he flashes a smile at you, humming a "thank you baby".
him and some of the other members and their friends have been getting together to play soccer every weekend, "casually. well, it started out casually but has turned into full blown permanent teams and many competitive matches. dokyeom didn't care much for it at first, having trouble getting into the groove of it. after a couple games he was hooked, looking forward to it all week. you come along to watch whenever you can. you love watching him play when he's really into it. his tongue sticks out when he's concentrating really hard, and his eyebrows bunch up in focus. he always looks adorable in his little soccer outfits, the jersey hanging off his toned torso, showing off just enough.
he pulls the shirt out of his bag, taking off his current one. you watch him as his back is facing you, your eyes traveling down the muscles all the way to his waistband of his boxers. once he throws the new shirt on he turns around, catching you staring at him. it's not an unusual occurrence, and you anticipate the teasing he' s about to give you. but he doesn't say anything, he just flashes you a smug smile, raising an eyebrow at you. he runs his fingers through his hair, letting it fall down over his forehead. its super fluffy today, falling effortlessly.
you unknowingly let out a sigh, not knowing what to do with the affection you're feeling. you realize the sound existed outside of just your mind when dokyeom chuckles,
"you alright there?" he asks, amused by your outburst.
he walks closer to you, poking your stomach mockingly as he passes you to move to the mirror. you follow him and wrap your arms around him from behind, squeezing him as if he's gonna disappear if you don't hold him tight enough.
"you look so pretty" you mutter into his back, feeling that no other phrase fits your thoughts best.
you feel his body bounce slightly as his laugh fills the room. he turns around in your arms and faces you.
"well aren't you a sweetheart" he mumbles, connecting his lips to yours. you smile into the kiss.
when you both back away he continues to get ready, finishing up as you guys get into the car to head to the field. when you arrive, you get his bag from the backseat and carry it over for him, feeling like a true soccer girlfriend. you hand it to dokyeom once you reach the benches on the field.
"thanks, love" he smiles appreciatively. he sits down on the bench to change into his sneakers, and you stay standing in front of him. some of the others show up, greeting you guys as they arrive and everyone gets to talking and getting ready.
dokyeom bends down to tie one of his shoes, and you notice his shorts ride up his thighs, exposing his skin. he stands up to say hi to one of his friends, tugging the shorts back down in the process. you are staring again, in awe of how any one could be so good looking. if he played soccer for a living, you don't think you would survive. you stand a bit away from the bench with your arms crossed, standing awkwardly as everyone is chatting but you can't stop looking at him. as he finishes what he was saying to one of the guys he looks up at me from his spot on the bench. he notices the awkward stance, and the staring yet again. at this point he should be used to it, but it somehow still gives him butterflies.
"c'mere you" he says, extending his hand out for you to take. he smiles wide at you, pulling you closer to him gently until you're between his legs.
"you sure you aren't bored staying and watching?" he asks. he holds your hips, swaying you side to side a little as he waits for your answer.
"oh trust me, i'm not bored" you say, reaching a hand up to run it through his hair, winking at him jokingly.
he laughs at you lovingly and says "you know you can't wink for shit, baby. you're lucky you're cute"
"hey! you can't wink either!" you fight back, pouting at him.
"touché" he chuckles, showing off his failure of a wink as well.
he pulls you down onto his knee, placing his hand on your back to keep you steady. you blush at the sudden action, smiling at the floor as he bounces his knee lightly to get your attention.
"you know, i don't think i ever told you how much i love it when you're here" he says, placing a hand on your thigh.
you smile at his sweet words, your cheeks yet again turning red. you don't think they are ever a normal shade when you are with him. you look into his eyes as he leans in to kiss your cheek, giving your thigh a light squeeze.
"dokyeom! you ready?" the guys call out, indicating to get the game started. he gives them a thumbs up, answering a yes before returning his attention back to you.
"good luck babe" you say, kissing his cheek in return.
he scrunches his nose, "i think i'm gonna need a real kiss in order to have good luck" he says, pouting his lips.
you shake your head at him, giggling as you lean in to give him a real kiss. he moves his hands down to your waist, holding you tight as he deepens the kiss. he closes his other free leg to secure you even closer to him. he bites your lip lightly, before pulling away and leaving you wanting more. you groan, wishing soccer would just cease to exist for right now.
he lets out a deep chuckle at your response before gently picking you up off his lap so he can stand up. once he places you on the bench he puts his hands on your shoulders and turns you to face the field,
"there you go, best view in the house. now you can keep staring at me the whole game" he says, mocking how you've been head over heels for him all day. he ruffles your hair, messing it up with a playful smirk as he walks away.
you stick your tongue at him as he turns around one last time before walking onto the field. he makes a heart with his hands, blowing you a kiss after. you giggle, sending him one back. as he plays, you do just as he said, stare at him the whole time, and cheering for him every step of the way.
"I promise, I'll be back before you know it." Joshua promised while swinging his hands with y/n. In a few hours, he'll be flying to the other side of the world, as he was chosen to participate in the uni's exchange student program.
"Consider coming home for winter break?" Y/N attempts. She has never been this far from Joshua ever since they started dating during sophomore year. They're now in their senior year.
"I will my love. I swear it."
Joshua looked like he had something else to say but got cut off when the announcer blared through the sound system of the airport, informing y/n that her time with her boyfriend must now come to... a pause, rather than an end.
Joshua got his attention back to y/n, who now got her head bowed. He wanted to leave with her. If only she wasn't the student council president of their uni, she could have been among the chosen students for this program. Sadly, she can't leave her position.
Y/n slowly let go of Joshua's hand and looked away as she forced herself to smile a bit.
"You should probably go inside... you wouldn't wanna miss the-"
Y/n blinked like a deer caught in headlights when Joshua cut her off by suddenly pulling her towards him and kissing her smack on the lips.
Y/n found more reasons to miss him even more.
The kiss was someting between longing and peace. It wasn't rushed, but to y/n, it felt like Joshua felt the same. That he didn't want to go at all.
Eventually, y/n relaxed in Joshua's hold, as he continued to claim her lips, this time, more slowly. However, as they shared that moment, Joshua grabbed y/n's wrist and slipped something on it.
Y/n then broke the kiss first and immediately examined her wrist.
"Josh... what-?"
"It's those trendy things online. It's called the LDR bracelet." He showed his wrist, wearing his usual colorful beaded bracelets, but among them was a pure black one with a small sun shaped charm on it.
He tapped the charm, and y/n felt her bracelet vibrate with a glow.
"Tap it if you miss me." He simply said.
Y/n then did the same, hesitantly tapping the moon shaped charm on hers. She saw Joshua's charm glow.
"This works even if we're a thousand miles away from each other?" She asks as she toys with the bracelet, examining the white beads on hers.
"I hope it does. Should we try it once I'm inside? That's a little farther than now, right?" He says, yet again pulling y/n closer to him until their bodies are pressed flush against each other.
Y/n clings on the hem of Joshua's shirt as she looked down again. Joshua found it endearing, and yet still, a little harder for him to leave again.
Gently, he lifted her chin so she'd look at him. As he suspected, her eyes are glossy with tears, threatening to fall.
"Aw, my darling..." he cooed as he cupped her face with his hands and planted a lingering kiss on her forehead, finally pulling y/n's trigger to cry on to his chest.
Joshua hugged her tight as she silently sobbed. He swayed them both slightly as he caressed her hair and planted lots of soft, little kisses on her head, trying to soothe her.
A few moments later, y/n leaned away and started to aggressively wipe her tears. Joshua chuckled and held her in place, then gently wiped her tears with the pad of his thumb.
"You'll be alright. I promise you." He whispered as y/n tried her best to keep eye contact.
"A-and will y-you be?" she asked in between hiccups.
Joshua tucked a stray hair behind her ear and kissed her cheek. "For you my love, I will be."
"O-okay..." y/n shakily said, tears threatening to fall again as she attempted to give Joshua a smile of assurance.
"Okay..." Joshua replied as he caressed her cheek with his thumb.
Y/n then finally let go, and Joshua started gathering his stuff as he moved towards the gates.
"Welp. See you later, y/n." Joshua smiled. Deep in his heart, he wanted to cling on to her smaller frame and cry as well.
"See you later, Joshie." Y/N smiled, fully this time, despite her tear stained face.
Joshua then started to walk towards the gate as y/n watched. She kept track of his retreating back for a bit and decided to walk out of the airport as well.
She wasn't even out the gate when suddenly, her charm bracelet started vibrating like crazy.
She laughed despite her sadness, and found herself looking back towards where Joshua went...
Only to find him running towards her.
Y/N broke into a happy sob as she opened her arms to receive Joshua, tears falling from his eyes as well. He crashed into her, hugging her tight, then picked her from the ground and spun her around.
He breathlessly, gently, put her back down, foreheads pressed against each other, faces shining with tears that reflected the blazing rays of the setting sun, breaths merging with each other.
Then he kissed her ever so gently.
"I couldn't leave just like that." Joshua whispered after breaking off. His lips still lingered on top of hers.
"Did you forget something love?" Y/n asked worriedly.
"I didn't. I just wanted to do this." He cheekily grinned, earning him a slap on the arm.
"I love you, y/n." he then said as he pecked at her lips again.
"You've said that like a hundred times today now." She teased as she placed her hand on his cheeks, making him lean in to her touch.
"I know. I love you. I'll say it again just to make it clear. I love you." And he kept saying he did as he peppered her face with little butterfly kisses, making her giggle amidst her tears.
"Joshua Hong, I love you so much, but please, your plane would leave without you if you won't let go of me right this second." she laughed as Joshua reached her jaws, still kissing her.
He planted one last kiss on her nose which she found endearing, and then he finally pulled away.
"I love you-"
"I love you-"
They laughed as they suddenly said the words together. And this time, it was y/n who sighed.
She pulled Joshua by the shirt and stood on her tiptoes as she kissed him.
"Go now and come home to me safely during the holidays." she whispered, as she swiped at the bangs that fell on his eyes.
"Alright... alright, alright." he sighed in defeat as he grabbed her hand and kissed it.
"I love you y/n. I'll be home before you know it."
"I love you Joshua. See you later." she said as he finally walked away with silly skips to his step.
This time, she watched as he went back in until she couldn't see him anymore. When she was sure he was safely inside, she started to leave as well.
She was already in her car when her bracelet and phone vibrated together. She smiled to herself when she saw the message on the screen.
"That tap meant 'I love you' this time." it said.
She sighed contentedly as she tapped three times on her bracelet. Then she typed in a reply.
"Those taps were three kisses. I love you too, Joshie."
Ayt, it's been a while (again. sigh) since my last dump here🥹 I hope y'all are doing good!
the idea for this au came to me as i was scrolling online for some accessories I could buy to use on our acquaintance party. I saw the couple bracelets for LDR relationships and then I thought of the plot for this😅
I hope you loved this as much as I loved writing it~
And as always, please like and reblog so others would also find my works^^
Scenario: Y/N just "graduated" from her short term for the last academic year in the university when she went to her daily routine of going to the beach at sunset to read her book. Studying to become a teacher is hard, but for her love of literature, she applied for a short term to pick up a few electives.
Mingyu on the other hand, like y/n, is finally on his last year in the academy as a Maritime student. In a few days, he'll be boarding a ship to fulfill his duties as a cadet before graduation. He came home before leaving the ground and living on the ocean aboard a boat for a year, when he saw y/n again for the 10th time this week.
This time, he had to courage do what he should have done years ago.
Y/N's pov
It's been years since the last time I saw Mingyu. We were in our senior year then... a few weeks after graduation. We stayed at school during summer, finilazing our thesis as a class, then after that, we went our separate ways for College.
Mingyu and I aren't THAT close during senior year, but we were friendly. We knew each other since 6th grade, since we both joined radio broadcasting contests back then. I was a scriptwriter and reporter while he was a DJ.
Funny because I used to have a crush on him during those days too. Then when we met again during highschool as classmates, I thought I saw a spark between us... a "could have been something." But I guess it was just me.
Could you blame me though? He gave me chocolates and a blue teddy bear for Valentine's. OUT OF NOWHERE.
He even gave me a golden retriever pup for my 18th. "My noona was friends with your hyung back in highschool and they told me to give you one of Lana's pups for your birthday." he explained. But when I went to thank his sister, she said she and my older brother had nothing to do with it and it was all Mingyu's decision.
But WE never happened.
I mustered the courage to ask him about us... about what exactly did WE have... but he said we were just friends. I would be lying if I say it didn't hurt... it did. Because I hoped for something...
Though amidst that, I'm grateful that even if we didn't end up the way I wanted to, we still ended up being good friends. At least we still had each other in our lives.
It's been so long, but sometimes, I find myself relapsing everytime his dad and sister posts pictures of them. He wasn't loud on social media, but his family sure is. That's how I still felt connected to his life somehow even if we barely talk on the phone.
That's why I was shocked shitless when he tapped me on the shoulder, called me by my surname like he used to, and gave me a hug while I was reading by the beach a few minutes ago.
"What the- Gyu? Mingyu!" I exclaimed in realization as I tried to give him a fistbump like old times. He quickly grabbed my hand though, spinned me towards him, and draped an arm around me. Only after that, he whispered.
"Hey love, long time no see, but right now, I need you to stay calm, alright? I'm gonna be stirring you away from your reading spot. From here on out, just follow me and try to act natural."
Now I'm SCARED shitless.
But I just did what I'm told, though my conscience was screaming at me at the realization that this man just called me LOVE.
"I told you I could've just picked you up. You didn't have to take a taxi here, love." He said, obnoxiously loud, for whatever reason, I could only wonder.
"I didn't wanna bother you. You said you were busy with some stuff. Besides, I'm perfectly fine being here first." I smiled at him while the braincells in my skull wrecked havoc in my overthinking mind.
He grinned at me, his eyes and nose crinkling together as he nuzzled my hair. I flinched, though praying he wouldn't notice for whatever stage he's trying to play right now.
"Hmm. No you're not," he whispered while still awfully, physically close to me that my heart hammered on my chest. "There are a bunch of guys a few meters behind you and they're DEFINITELY interested."
I leaned away from him as I looked him in the eyes. I was about to turn to the direction he mentioned but he pulled me to the sand, pretending to help gather my chair and other stuff.
"Y/N, I'm a guy, and I know what guys look like when they're interested at someone. And those guys look like trouble. They're drunk." he explained as he finished gathering all my stuff in his arms, leaving me with just my book.
"Let's go?" he asked cheerily, shifting my load to one arm and offering me his other arm to hold on to.
I linked my arm with his and dared to look behind me. Sure enough, the guys behind me were throwing daggers at Mingyu's back. He whipped around and grinned slyly at them, pulling me even closer to him.
It's been 3 years since we graduated highschool. We're seniors in our own colleges now, and somehow, dead butterflies started to flutter inside my ribcage again as I let myself be pulled away by Kim Mingyu.
---
Mingyu's pov
I was a nutless jerk for telling her we were just friends all those years ago, even if I know within my heart that I wanted to be more than that with her, even to this day.
My heart and mind has been restless ever since we all parted ways. But when I saw her at the beach today, like the past few days, it was like my whole being came back to life.
Her hair flowed with the wind, though it's shorter now than the last time I saw her. Her skin glowed golden as the setting sun kissed her.
Damn, I still like her lots.
Maybe that's why when I noticed the bunch of guys having drinks just a few meters behind her, my protective instinct kicked in.
I mustered all my courage and recalled all the extra self defense training I learned at the academy as I tried to confidently stroll towards her like I do it everyday.
I swear, she almost hit me with her damn book when I hugged her from behind. If she ever landed it on me, I wouldn't regret it.
She beamed in recognition when we locked eyes after that, and I soared up to cloud 9 when I heard her say the nickname she called me with.
"Gyu!" she screamed. Her voice harmonizing with the element that I'll soon be calling home.
I explained the situation to her and was currently looking for a new spot to take her to as a comfortable silence sat between us.
It's a relief that I decided to go out today before I get on the ship for my internship before graduation. If I didn't, I wouldn't have seen her again.
My senses triggered again when I recalled what the guys behind her looked like. Hungry dogs ready to pounce, just looking for a chance.
I remembered back in highschool when she was stuck with something similar. We were on a bus on the way home from school, when I noticed the guys behind her were taking pictures of her and whispering nasty shit about making a move.
When a passenger got down, I called her over to sit next to me. She was shaking so bad from the experience and fear that I let myself hold her. I even let myself pass my house so I could see her go home safe that day, then I waited for the next bus to go back the other way to go home.
That was the day I knew I was really inlove, but didn't want to admit it.
"Gyu, here looks nice." she suddenly says, pulling me from my thoughts. We reached a place on the beach where there's more people on either side, but at least this one's a safer crowd.
I helped her set up her picnic mat and chair, then stood awkwardly beside her after.
"Well sit down on the mat, you silly goose." She chuckeled. I gladly obliged.
"Thanks for saving my butt there." she started after a few moments of silence. Her book was back in her bag, and I realized she didn't want to read for a while anymore, but to talk.
I followed her gaze towards the open water. Hearing the waves made me feel calm and excited but now, also nervous.
Maybe I shouldn't have met y/n today. She could be the reason why I won't be able to board the ship in three days time.
"Nah, it's nothing. I gotchu always." I teased. She nudged me.
"It's been so long. How are you? Are you about to board soon?" She sighs as she curiously looked at me.
Of course, she'll ask that question.
"In three days. I came home last week to process a few documents and my passport. I'm going back to the city the day after tomorrow." I explain, letting my eyes wander towards the waves again.
My heart ached. It was like I'm anchored to her again but I couldn't bring myself to admit it out loud.
What if I tell her about my feelings now? Would it be too sudden? I don't want anything holding me back from my internship, especially if it's y/n... I wouldn't be able to handle it.
But would I be able to handle a confrontation if I confess out of the blue? After years of not seeing each other?
"Wow. Then, I'm glad you're still able to go out to distress." She smiled. Her smile warmed me more than the setting sun did, and still, I involuntarily shivered. I hope she didn't notice.
"Well... I've been coming here these past days every sunset..." I admitted.
"...and everyday, I lingered just a few steps behind you, afraid I'll scare you away." I wanted to admit.
It's true. I've been visiting the beach everyday since I got home. And I continued to ever since I saw her here with her book every sunset.
She chuckled and the sound tickled my heart like tiny bells.
"Dummy. You'll be seeing beautiful sunsets once you board that ship. Will you be doing domestic or international?"
"Sunsets on the ship won't matter as much because I won't be seeing you with it." I wondered to myself as I looked at her.
"International." I simply answered.
"Wow, look at you big shot. Bring me souvenirs?" She requested like it was the most normal thing in the world. Like we've been doing it forever.
Since meeting her again last week, though it was from afar, even if she didn't ask me today, I would've still sent her the postcards she loved to collect, and little trinkets and magnets for the desk she loved to decorate.
"Sure baby." I answered. Like it was the most normal thing for me to say.
She went silent after that, but there's no mistaking that angry blush on her cheeks so I grabbed that chance to tease her.
"Look at you, blushing like a cherry. Do you have a crush on me?" I bravely teased.
In my head, I wanted to punch myself. Even if it was years ago, she probably still held grudges when we confronted about what WE had...
She swatted at my hands as I tried to tickle her but I was no match for her.
Until her chair collapsed and she fell on top of me, wrestling me on the mat and rolling us into the sand.
Now I was no match for HER. I'm suddenly a gradeschool kid with a crush.
"Shit- I'm sorry. You okay?" I laughed as she did too. I was relieved when she found the situation funny.
Maybe I shouldn't have just brought the topic up.
"What if I tell you that I still like you though?" she suddenly said, still laughing.
The laughter died nervously on my throat.
"What...?"
She crawled on to my other side, away from my grasp, and she sat down on the sand, facing the waves.
"I'm afraid I never "unliked" you, Kim Mingyu." she admitted. Her voice suddenly blue.
I faced her then, even though her gaze wasn't on me.
"I-"
"Nah, it's fine. I'm glad we're still buddies after all this time though." she smiled, bravely facing me as she gave me a friendly punch to the shoulder.
I held her hand there.
"What if I tell you that I want to be more than just buddies?" I finally said.
I FINALLY said.
This time, it was her turn to be silent.
I pulled her hand toward me and gently caressed lazy circles at the back of her palm.
"Y/n, I don't have any valid excuse towards being a jerk all those years ago. But I liked you. I guess, I just didn't have it in me to say it out loud." I finally admitted.
"Please don't do this, Mingyu. Not when you're boarding soon." she said. Her voice scared.
"Oh, baby, no. I'm not saying this to play with you. I'm saying this to get it off my chest and so you'd have peace of mind." I tried.
"But Gyu, how would I have peace of mind now, knowing that it wasn't one sided? Knowing that after whatever this conversation right now is, you'll be boarding soon, and I wouldn't see you again for a year or two." she sputtered, tears threatening to fall from her hazel eyes.
God, I didn't want those tears to fall.
I wasn't able to answer her immediately and she had another question to challenge me.
"Mingyu, after all these years... do you happen to still like me then?" she bravely asked. Her voice almost a whisper among the sea breeze and crawling waves.
"Yes." I answered. How idiot of me to admit it just like that when she deserved something more grand.
Someone like her deserved something more than just an explanation and a lousy yes from a scaredy-cat like me.
She pulled her hand from me and angrily wiped the tears that finally fell from her eyes. I gently stopped her and dared to caress her cheek, chasing her tears myself.
"I'm sorry y/n..."
"Don't be." she said. It scared me because I didn't know how she meant it.
I held her like a fragile pearl. I didn't want to let her go.
"You don't have to be sorry, Gyu." she said after a few beats. Her hand finding its place on top of the one I have left cupping her cheek.
She felt my class ring on that hand. I never took it off after our ceremony.
"You don't have to be sorry. I won't force you into something you don't feel like doing."
"Oh please, y/n, don't say it like that."
"Like what?"
"Like you're not someone worth taking risks for." I firmly told her.
Gently, I forced myself to remove my hand on her cheek.
I removed my class ring.
The supposed symbol of loyalty to my fellow cadets, the academy, and the seven seas that I'll soon be able to see.
I played with it on my hands, tossing it and catching it.
"Y/n... we don't have to rush it. Will you give me a chance to set things right? As they should have been, three years ago?"
She looked at the ring in my palm, then at the sea.
"What are you doing, Mingyu?" she seriously asked, a hint of nervousness tinted her voice.
"Taking a fucking risk for someone who deserves the world and a man who's not a nutless jerk." I teased though my voice was hopeful.
She locked gazes with me, and after a solid minute, she gave me a tiny nod.
I felt a fire start in my chest.
"Y/n?"
"Will you let me wait for you?" she finally asked.
"Damn it y/n, someone like you doesn't deserve to wait." I nervously laughed.
She chuckled. "Well, you big dummy, apparently, our situation will require us to wait."
"Well... will you wait for me then?" I asked her, my voice obviously hopeful but I couldn't care anymore.
"I hoped for this to happen all those years ago, Gyu. And deep down, I still think of what could have happened if what I hoped for came true."
I held her hands, the ring sandwiched between our palms.
"Will you let me make it happen?" I asked.
"So suddenly?" she laughed.
I know it was stupid and true, but I nodded.
She looked down at our hands and grabbed the ring, sliding it back to where it's supposed to belong on my hand.
"Go out and explore the world, cadet. And come back to me." she finally said.
I feel like I fucking won a cruise of a lifetime.
I grinned like an idiot and removed my class ring. Then, I hastily removed the seaglass necklace I had on.
I slipped the ring on to the necklace, then showed it to her.
She smiled as if she knew what I was about to do even before I was deciding to do it.
I knelt on the sand and went behind her to secure the necklace on to her neck. I couldn't help but kiss the top of her head when she finally let down her hair after I've locked the necklace.
I sat back on the sand, facing her, as she admired the blue seaglass and the silver class ring on her neck.
Again, tears started falling from her eyes.
"Oh come on, y/n!" I teased as I pulled her towards me. She let me hug her to my chest as I rubbed her back when she finally sobbed into my shirt.
"It's so unfair though. All of this happens but we won't be seeing each other again for a year." she cries.
"I know, love. I'm sorry." I whispered in her hair.
"Again with the sorry, Gyu." she managed to laugh amidst her sniffles.
"I'm sorry I was scared. I'm sorry I was late." I whispered still, shutting my eyes as tears started to form on the corners of my own as I remembered how I regretted not doing this sooner when we could have had more time.
She must have sensed it, because tear stained as she is, she leaned away and cupped my face on her slender hands, and bravely faced me with determination all over her face.
"Don't be sorry. I already swore I'd wait for you." She said firmly. I took the necklace on my hands and caressed my class ring dangling from it, thinking about the cost of buying another one to replace it since we're not supposed to really remove it, especially since we're boarding soon.
"I'll wait for you like you waited for the time that you decided you're not scared anymore." She teased and I laughed, stray tears leaving my eyes.
Gently she wiped them away, then brought her forehead on top of mine, her nose grazing the tip of my own.
"God, I waited to be this close to you." she whispered with her eyes closed.
I closed my eyes and dared to kiss her nose.
She giggled and I took it as a good thing. My heart soared.
"I'll send you postcards at every dock we hop on." I promised her and she continued to giggle. I kissed her forehead.
"And I'll send you seven rings from the seven seas until I could finally ask you to be my girlfriend." I swore. I kissed her cheek.
"And after that, I'll come back to you. And after that, I'll court the rest of your family. Then I'll let another few years pass on another fucking ship then I'll come back and marry you here." I swore boldly, kissing her other cheek.
She slapped my chest playfully.
"Now, now, sailor. Don't get ahead of yourself." she laughed.
"Someone once told me that if you say your wishes to the sea, the waves will carry it out for you until they happen." I softly told her, as I guided her back to my chest.
"I wonder who that someone is. They sound wise." she teased, knowing it was her who said it when we were in highschool and she bought me the same seaglass necklace I had on and gave her with my ring. She got it for me during our class trip to Jeju.
"Oh, I trust that someone. I trust that her words ring true." I boasted, resting my head on hers.
She then looked up at me and smiled, and I felt like swimming into the ocean and challenging our class ship to a fucking race.
I leaned in to kiss her forehead again as if I've been doing it for years, even if I was only able to find the guts to do it a few minutes ago.
I'm glad she's letting me.
I lingered there for a bit, then rested my cheek on top of her head. I faced the sea with her, the waves calling me out of my daydream as I realized that I have to leave her after tomorrow.
I closee my eyes and forced myself to bask into this moment and memorize every second of it so I can survive at sea with memories of her.
Slowly, I felt her shift, and dumbly, I looked at her as I realized that she's taken a brave step by kissing me on the jaw.
I stared even more dumbly at her when she giggled.
"A good luck charm for the cadet. Since I can't kiss you here yet." she teased, as she tapped my lips with her finger.
God, she's a tease.
"I'll have to tattoo that on my jaw then, sweetheart." I teased her back, as she had the audacity to guffaw at my face.
With courage I never knew I had in me, I gently placed my thumb on her lips.
Then I kissed her there.
"A promise for my return. Since I can't kiss you here yet." I teased her back, as I gently swiped my thumb over her soft lips, her face cherry red from shock of what I just did.
"HOW DARE YOU." she exclaimed, swatting at my chest. This time, I guffawed in front of HER face.
Eventually, she got tired of hitting me. Eventually, she melted back into my arms and into my chest. Her body fitting comfortably snug against mine.
And then, silence enveloped us again as we watched the last of the sun sink into the horizon, knowing that tomorrow is our last day in another long while, but at the same time, a new chapter for the both of us to look forward to.
Been a while since the last time I made a one-shot🥹 I was inspired by my visit to the beach today, and I saw a lot of groups enjoying the sea. Then Mingyu went live tonight too, so I thought of making him the character here.
I know it's pretty long, but if you reached this point, then thanks for staying by to finish it😭🩷🙏🏻 I enjoyed writing this so much, I hope you enjoyed reading it too!
As usual, thanks for your support!🙌🏻
Also, if you want to and if you can, please reblog this so other readers can also see my works🥹🙏🏻🩵
summary: you and mingyu are rivals, having restaurants near each other and just hating each other's guts for wanting to be the top restaurant in the area. but life's not always fair and you and mingyu end up having to work together. a little bit of angst, spice, fluff, and mutual pining turns into a cute one-shot.
pairing: chef!mingyu x chef!reader
warnings: enemies to lovers kinda, fluff, angst, kissing, suggestive and suggestive language, implied smut, mentions of alcohol, use of curse words, and mingyu being an annoying ass but <3 he's so fine
word count: 6.5k // lowercase intended
a/n: a repost of my chef mingyu series as a one-shot. i had so much fun writing this, i hope you enjoy reading it.
chef!mingyu and you are rivals, having restaurants near each other and just hating each other's guts wanting to be the top restaurant in the area. but then one day you both get hired for a private event because the person who was getting married likes both of your food and couldn't choose. they asked if you both could maybe collaborate and work. you would have said no but the money was too good to lose out on. so here you are bickering with mingyu as you sit late at night in his restaurant trying to decide the menu for the wedding event. he'll just be so fucking cocky with a stupid smirk plastered on his face because he's just that confident about his skills and cooking and you both just can't seem to agree on anything.
"you're so annoying god, how am i supposed to work with you", you mumble. "come on baby, let's both put aside our differences and work like professionals hm", mingyu says.
"i swear if you stress me out i will kill you", you say. "ah don't worry, besides i know some ways we can destress", he says giving you a wink and making you almost choke on the water you were sipping on.
you both have to taste test the menu first before finalizing it so you head to Mingyu’s restaurant the next day and it’s just you two alone in the kitchen as you cook the dishes, mingyu is in charge of starters and mains while you were in charge of the two desserts. mingyu will not shy away from taunting you and just trying to flirt and mess with you because he's a jerk like that but fuck he looked so hot when he was in his element cooking. he tastes your dishes and will be surprised at how good it is. "it's pretty good", he admits. "duh what did you think", you reply annoyed. "thought it would taste like shit", he says and you smack his arm. "i told you not to get on my nerves", you warn and he just chuckles saying sorry as he licks the plate clean.
then on the day of the event somehow you ended up with missing ingredients so you had to make do with what you had, having a full panic attack as you try to stay calm and finish cooking in the time given. mingyu surprisingly wouldn't be a jerk that day and would come to help you re-plan your menu and dishes and once his service was over, he'd come and help you plate the desserts. finally done with the hectic day, you both head home and you end up crashing in mingyu's place because you had a little too much to drink. you would wake up wondering where the hell you were in the morning until you see a shirtless mingyu in front of you and the smell of something sweet in the air.
"are you awake baby? i didn't know if you liked pancakes or french toast so i made both", he says with a smile. you can't seem to remember anything from the night before but seeing mingyu shirtless and you in one of mingyu's shirts in his bed makes you start thinking things.
"did we...sleep together?", you ask and he just smirks. "why baby don't you remember?", he teases, putting the plate down on the table. "n-no", you mumble. "if you're teasing me i swear i will kill you", you say giving him a death stare. "i mean you were pretty much all over me last night", he says and your jaw drops. "liar". he shakes his head. "i had to lock the guest room and sleep because i was so scared", he adds and you roll your eyes. "but if you do want to sleep together, i'd be more than happy to oblige", he says with wink as he grins, leaning forward making your breath hitch. god, he was so annoying.
after you woke up in mingyu's bed that day you're just not able to stop thinking about him and it just annoys you even more because his stupid smirk is engraved in your mind. "if you want to sleep with me, i'd be happy to oblige?" that fucker. you mumble to yourself and head to the restaurant that day and try to tune out mingyu. but then just when you thought your day couldn't get any worse, it does. your ex-partner decided to give you a visit because they were 'missing you' and you're just even more ticked off because of the way they're pitying you and thinking your life sucks because they’re not with you anymore. the way they’d be just boasting about their life now and just thinking you didn't move on was infuriating.
"so did you move on from me? i know you loved me so the breakup must have hit you hard", they say, making you absolutely seeth with anger. who the hell did they think they were? just then you spot mingyu from the corner of your eye. you had forgotten you had asked him to come over because you had forgotten your wallet at his place and he offered to come to drop it off back to you that evening.
so you put on your fakest smile and do something stupid but desperate times call for desperate measures.
"baby, you're finally here!", you say loudly, walking over to mingyu as he comes up to you both. you latch your arm around mingyu's, leaning your head on his arm. "i was waiting for you", you add looking at mingyu as you bat your eyelashes at him. mingyu would just be so confused and literally, just be like wtf as he looks at you. you give him a small nudge with your elbow, as you side-eye your ex hoping he'll get the message and play along. and thankfully he does. he smiles, and his arm goes around your waist, pulling you closer than you already were. "were you waiting long? the traffic was horrible", he says. your ex just watches all this unfold. "oh, you should meet my boyfriend", you say as you look at your ex. they just gives you both a stiff smile. "we should head home soon hm, i have something special planned", mingyu adds, leaning in to kiss your cheek, catching you off guard. you ex excuses himself and finally heads off. you watch as he leaves, rolling your eyes.
"that asshole", you mutter. "who do they think there are huh, can't believe i actually dated a piece of shit like them", you add, clearly frustrated. a few more profanities leave your lips while mingyu just looks at you, amused at the situation he's been caught in. you don't even realize that you're still holding mingyu's hand until you feel him squeeze your hand ever so slightly. so you look down and look back up at him before letting go of his hand. not going to lie, he would be a bit :\ because of how fast you let go of his hand but he won't say anything.
"so i'm your boyfriend now hm", he says with that stupid smile as he raises an eyebrow. "noo", you defend and he'll pout. "kidding, anyways who was that guy?", he prompts. "my ex, that little shit", you say and mingyu can tell you're extremely annoyed. "here's your wallet", he says as he hands it to you, fetching it from his pocket. "thank you", you say, really grateful this time, because as annoying as he was, he was still a nice guy.
mingyu would offer to drive you home and you agree because it was raining and you didn't really have any other means of transportation so late at night. "i could really use a drink or two", you say as mingyu drives. so that's how you end up in a bar nearby, having a heart-to-heart conversation with mingyu - your rival in business and the guy to who you refused to believe you were attracted. and once again, you find yourself waking up in an unfamiliar bed, only to realize it's mingyu's bed...again. "fuck", you mutter as you try to get out of bed, but mingyu enters - shirtless of course.
"awake baby? i think i'm having deja-vu", he says, his arms crossed over his chest as he looks at you. "i'm sorry...you could have just dropped me home", you add. "but you basically passed out on the couch, how the hell was i supposed to drop you off home in that state", he counters. fair point. "okay im sorry. i'll treat you to lunch and dinner for letting me crash the night", you add and he smiles satisfied with the deal.
"so...do you remember what happened last night?", he adds, with a glint in his eyes. "hm what happened?", you ask, confused. you again have no recollection of the night before. he clicks his tongue. "im disappointed baby, i thought you would remember", he says as he walks up to the bed. "why...what happened?", you ask, unsure. "you really don't remember?", he frowns and shakes his head. "you don't remember asking me to sleep with you? i had to pry you off me", he says and you are horrified. "what…i would never....i didn't", you stutter. "hell you even tried to steal a few smooches". "stop lying i swear i will actually strangle you", you tell making him chuckle, showing his pretty smile. "no but you really did ask me to sleep with you baby", he says completely serious this time and you can feel your cheeks heat up because what the fuck. you really must've had too much to drink.
"it must've been a while since your last partner if you're so desperate for me", he'll tease. asshole. "i'll happily oblige if you ask me sober though", he adds with a wink making you whack him with the pillow.
you'll go home that day annoyed, hot, and bothered and won't be able to stop thinking about mingyu and his stupidly handsome face and body.
doesn't it suck to have the person you hate on your mind constantly? expect it wasn't exactly hate with mingyu. it was more how you just refused to believe you were attracted to him that made you think about him even more. not to mention you were business rivals, so you didn't want to do anything stupid.
it's been a few weeks and as much it pained you to admit it, you did wish mingyu stopped by but he hadn't in the last few weeks. and just as you were locking up and about to leave, you see a familiar figure strolling inside your restaurant - mingyu.
"what do you want?", you ask coldly, tired from the long day. "now is that how you greet a friend?", he asks, crossing his arms over his chest. you noticed how the shirt he was wearing just hugged his body and arms, showing off his biceps. and he was wearing glasses too. fuck he looked so hot tonight. you cleared your throat before speaking.
"im tired okay, what's up?", you repeat. "just came for dinner", he prompts and you're lost. "sorry what? we're closed", you say. "did someone forget they owe me lunch and dinner? how ungrateful", he says, shaking his head with a scoff. right, you promised him you'd treat him for letting you crash in his place.
"right...what do you want?", you ask. "i want you to cook me something that you love to eat", he asks. "i'll buy you something how's that?", you bargain. "no can do baby. or do you want the whole world to know that you're dying to sleep with me", he asks with a raised brow making you narrow your eyes at him. "you're such an ass", you mumble, purposely nudging your elbow into him as you walk ahead.
you lock up and mingyu would drive you back to your place where you decide to cook your favorite pasta for him. it was simple, easy to make, and super yummy too. mingyu would hang around in the kitchen as you started cooking, and maybe give you some unsolicited decor advice, making you roll your eyes. and you notice how mingyu's hands would just automatically start helping you gather ingredients or things - i guess that’s what happens when you cook for a living. you'd have to smack his hands off, telling him you'd manage to make him pout.
he'll lean back on the other end of the counter as you stand chopping some vegetables and doing some prep for the pasta. "so did your ex pay you a visit again?", mingyu asks, looking at you keenly. "that idiot did come in the morning again, and was asking where you were", you say. "what did you say?", "nothing, just that you had worked", you add. "but i don't think he'll come again, hopefully", you add.
"was he good in bed?", mingyu asks, like it's the most normal question in the world, catching you completely off guard. "excuse me? what kind of question is that?", you say, looking at him. "what, can't i know about your loser ex? i'm guessing he was pretty shit seeing as you've been dying to sleep with me", he adds with a smug smirk. as he pushes his glasses up. "what- firstly i am not dying to sleep with you and secondly i don't see why that actually matters to you", you say, getting annoyed. mingyu did an excellent job getting on your nerves.
"yeah so he was shit in bed", mingyu concludes when you avoid the question. "fuck you mingyu", you say, giving his a side eye. "oh, so you want me to? i'll gladly do it, just ask", he says nonchalantly. "like you're that good in bed either", you mumble to yourself but obviously mingyu heard you.
"is that a challenge baby? do you want me to show you", he asks with a raised brow. "whatever oh my god, just let me cook", you snap back at him, getting your focus back onto prepping for the pasta.
after a few seconds of silence, mingyu speaks up again. "baby if you need help, i'll be more than happy to. it feels awkward just standing here doing nothing", he asks again. "firstly, my name is -", you start, looking up to glance at mingyu. and maybe it was because you looked away for a second or because you were tired, your hand slipped and the knife sliced your finger. "OW", you yell, dropping the knife on the counter as you clutch your finger to your chest.
mingyu would be by your side in an instant. "what happened?", he asks and he gets his answer from the drops of blood on the countertop. "shit", he mutters. he can tell by the way your finger is bleeding that it's deep and bad cut. "where's your first aid kit", he asks urgently. "top shelf on the right", you mumble. he'll clear the countertop, pushing all the ingredients and chopping board to the side to make some space for you. you feel his hands on your waist as he gently hoists you up so you're now sitting on the countertop.
"here, let me see hm", he asks softly. you open your hands and hear him take in a sharp breath. it was pretty bad. you had cut not one, but two fingers and they were pretty deep slices, ouch. he'll wipe your finger with a wet cloth first. then he'll dab the disinfectant on, and you close your eyes because it burned like shit. "oww it hurts", you whine. "let me do it, i can manage mingyu", you huff but he won't let you. "don't - just let me help you".
he'll clean your other cuts and it just burns so bad you end up leaning your forehead on mingyu's shoulder, as he's standing in front of you. he'll gently bandage your fingers and make sure you were all okay. "done, you are okay baby?", he asks as you're still leaning your head against him. "hm", you manage to say. you lift your head up but you're still so close to mingyu, you gulp as you look at him. "sorry, i guess i was just tired", you tell softly. "you should have told me, we could have done this another time", he scolds. "i owed you though", you mumble, looking down. and i wanted to spend time with you.
"i'll be okay, it's no big deal", you add and you're hyper-aware of mingyu's hands resting on your thighs as he stares at you. "you're really stubborn you know", he adds making you scoff. "stubborn? me?? have you seen yourself, you're so damn cocky about everything", you counter. he won't say anything but he did love seeing you all feisty, he thought it was hot. "what can i say, i like being the best in everything i do", he counters, giving you a little smirk.
and you can't take it anymore. you couldn't take his stupid smile and how stupidly attracted you were to him. you couldn't take the tension anymore, so you just grabbed mingyu by the collar of his shirt and pulled him forward, kissing him. he would be caught off guard for a second but he'll smirk into the kiss, kissing you back as he moves his lips against yours. his hand moves up to cup your cheek as your fist where you held the collar of his shirt tightens, feeling giddy with the kiss. you pull away.
"we shouldn't be doing this", you say breathlessly. "give me one good reason why we shouldn't", he responds as he captures your lips again, his other hand going to wrap around your waist, pulling you closer against him. "fuck...because we're rivals and i'm supposed to hate you", you mumble between kisses. "let's just screw that and start over", he says as he leaves a trail of soft kisses on your collarbone. but your mind is too fuzzy to care anymore. you look at him, his lips pink and plump from all the kissing. he starts to kiss your neck, making you gasp as your eyes flutter close. he leaves a trail of soft kisses on your collarbone. "m-mingyu", you whisper. "hm tell me what you want baby", he groans softly, kissing up to your jawline as you grip his arm. "you're so annoying"softly, kissing up to your jawline. he moves his hand to remove his glasses when you stop him. "don't, i like how they look on you", you say, looking at him as you bite your lip. "oh really? how does it look on me?", he asks, fully knowing the answer but he just wanted to hear it from you. "makes you look so hot", you mumble against his lips, kissing him. he kisses you back as he moves his lips against yours. his hand moves up to cup your cheek as your fist where you held the collar of his shirt tightens, feeling giddy with the kiss.
you don't know how you made it to your bed, as mingyu hovers over you, his shirt thrown somewhere to the side. "i'll fuck you so good that the only name you'll remember is mine", he taunts, whispering in your ear before kissing you again. his cheeks flushed and his hair falling over his face as he looks down at you. with such passion making you dizzy.
you stir awake and open your eyes to see mingyu soundly sleeping next to you. his arm is lazily around your waist, his hair falling over his hair in a cute mess. the events of last night are still clear in your head. what was going to happen now? what were the two of you?
you gently move, trying not to wake up mingyu, but he stirs slowly beside you, his arm tightening against your waist as he pulls you closer. "five more minutes", he mumbles and you can't really do anything to get out of his killer grip, so you lay there in his arms, admiring his pretty face.
"your five minutes are up", you say, pushing against his chest to get out of his hold, making mingyu open his eyes. "you're so mean", he mumbles, letting you get out of his grasp.
your clothes are scattered on the floor from the night before and you reach out for the closest thing near you - mingyu's shirt. you can definitely see him check you out as you are draped in his shirt as he shows his pretty grin to you. mingyu makes breakfast and soon you both part ways, having to attend to the restaurant.
that night, you crash in bed and you can't stop thinking about what happened between you both. what was going to happen? how could you possibly stay friends with him? would it be weird? and mostly, you were scared. you still didn't want to admit how you felt about him. and after last night's events, you were even more confused and unsure. so you do the worst thing anyone can do - try to avoid mingyu and pretend like it didn't happen.
it's easy at first because you're both busy with your work. but mingyu would leave you occasional texts to which you would just reply with short sentences, making up excuses that you were busy or tired if he asked if you were free for dinner or coffee. but then mingyu obviously picks up on your behavior and maybe starts to feel bad. and he decides to finally do something about it.
you wrap up for the night and are heading out the door when you bump into someone since you were looking at your phone as you walked. "ouch-oh", you let out upon seeing whom you had bumped into - mingyu.
"hi", you say, gaining your balance as you step back. "hi" he says as he looks at you. "what's up?", you ask. "i'm here to get my second treat from you", he adds and when you give him a confused look he elaborates. "did someone forget they owe me two meals?", he prompts with a raised eyebrow. this annoying asshole.
"thought you forgot about", you mumble under your breath. "how could i, what do you take me for hm", he teases making you glare at him. since you'd been avoiding him, you forgot how cocky and annoying he was, even though you hated to admit how much it turned you on and how much you found him insanely attractive.
"what do you want? i'll buy you dinner", you tell. "nope, you've to make me something", he tells, not budging. "fine i'll make you ramen", you tell. he raises his eyebrows. "are you flirting with me right now?", he asks. you simply push past him and walk ahead mumbling under your breath as he laughs and follows behind you.
you both are in your apartment now. taking a pot, you fill it with water and wait for it to boil as mingyu leans back against the counter. you're about to chop some green onions when mingyu steps in. "let me hm, don't want you cutting yourself again", he says as he takes the knife from you, chopping them neatly. you just hoped he didn't bring up what happened last time now because you would die on the spot if he did that.
"so...can i ask you why you've been avoiding me?", he finally asks. your leaning against the other side of the counter now as mingyu turns back to look at you. great, here we go.
"what do you mean, i haven't been avoiding you", you lie, trying to sound convincing but mingyu can see right through you. "don't lie baby, it's very obvious", he says crossing his arms across his chest, which only emphasized his biceps even more.
"is it because of what happened between us last time?", he asks as he looks at you. the way he looks at you and waits tells you that he did genuinely have feelings for you. you liked him too, he definitely made your heart jump. but you both were supposed to be rivals and you're feelings were complicated, and you didn't know how to say it.
"i'm not going to lie, i did feel bad. i thought there was a spark between us you know", he says. the water is boiling now but mingyu didn't move and neither did you.
"yeah, it was fine. just... let's just treat it like a one-night stand and move on okay. forget about it", you tell, dismissing the topic and your feelings completely, and you didn't miss the flash of hurt that reflected in mingyu's eyes.
you come forward to put the ramen in the water along with the flavoring packets as you try to ignore mingyu's presence next to you. "wow", he finally says. "so that's all it was to you? it didn't mean anything? because from what i remember i clearly felt something and so did you", he adds, not letting go of the topic.
"it's just something that happened-" "did you want it", he asks cutting you off. the ramen is still boiling but neither of you pays attention to it anymore. "i mean yeah but that doesn't need to define our relationship", you tell. "what are we now?", you ask.
"i don't know but i thought it could be the start of something. but seeing how you just thought about it as a one-night stand and have been ignoring me ever since tells me all i need to know", he tells as he runs a hand through his hair. you finally turn back your attention to the ramen, which is clearly been boiling for too long. turning off the stove, you serve some for yourself and mingyu and push the bowl toward him.
neither of you talk as you both eat, mingyu inhaling the noodles. you can tell he's pissed off but he still helps you clean up before leaves, only telling you thanks for the ramen as he steps out the door of your apartment.
that week mingyu doesn't text you or call. it was selfish of you to think that he would. but still, you unconsciously found yourself waiting for his text or his goofy face to pop by your restaurant. and that's when you realized you missed him. you really did like him alot. that night after a long day and a long week, you find yourself drinking alone in the corner of a cute restaurant, just drowning in your sorrows. you were pretty tipsy at this point and some random person decided to sit next to you, annoying you and was trying to make small talk with you.
"can you leave, please? i don't think i know you", you tell but they don't seem to listen. that's when you hear a familiar voice. "i think you need to go", the voice says and you look up. "who are you?" "they're my partner", you hear the voice say as the person gets up, walking off as the person glares at him.
the mystery person who just saved you takes a seat opposite you and you stare at him trying to figure out where you've seen him before. "you look like someone i know", you tell, taking another sip of your drink, only to find the glass empty as you ask for another drink. "yeah you look like this guy mingyu", you tell and he chuckles because it was, in fact, mingyu who was sitting in front of you.
after taking a few sips of your refreshed drink, you launch into an explanation about mingyu...to mingyu because you're too drunk to realize mingyu is in front of you and you just needed to get things off your chest.
"who's mingyu?", he asks. "this guy who's super annoying but also so attractive. and i just fucked up big time with him. we ended up sleeping together but then i just told him to forget about it basically. and now i'm just going to die single", you tell. mingyu smiles softly at that. " but how do you feel about him?", he asks, curious to know what you really felt and thought about him.
"i do like him, even though he's too cocky for his own good and annoying, he's pretty cool. i can't seem to think straight when i'm around him. i was just scared to admit my feelings after and screwed up, causing a mess. but i really really do like him", you tell, as you down your drink. mingyu stops your hand when you ask for another drink. "i think you've had enough for tonight baby, let's get you home", he says and soon he's driving you back home while you're passed out asleep in the passenger seat of his car.
you stir awake in bed, your head heavy from last night's drinking. you open your eyes and look around. since when did you have yellow walls? you look around and get up, realizing this isn't your room, but why does it seem vaguely familiar? just then a head peeps into the room - mingyu.
what the hell? he sees you awake and gives you that toothy, stupid, pretty smile. "you're awake i see", he tells, crossing his arms as he leans against the doorframe. "you should just move into my place hm i can see that you love it so much", he adds, being sarcastic and teasing you. "why am i here?", you ask, confused, not being able to recall how or why you even ended up in mingyu's house. you're just hoping you didn't do anything stupid last night.
"bad memory again baby?", he prompts and you give him a small glare.
"shit", you mumble under your breath as you wrack your brain and try to recall last nights events. "sorry i keep crashing at your place", you add, feeling guilty. "i made breakfast, eat before it get's cold", he says before retreating back to the dining hall. you follow him after a minute and you're about to just walk away.
"it's fine, i'll eat later", you say but mingyu just puts the plate in front of you, guiding you to a seat and pushing you down to sit. "you're really going to refuse my world famous french toast?", he asks.
you take a bite and nod because it was actually very yum. "how'd i end up here anyway?", you ask, looking at mingyu. "you texted me", he says and you wait for him to explain more. "or like left me a few really misspelled drunk texts which i had to put together to figure out where you were". then you remember. right, that's what i was doing, trying to forget about mingyu, yet here you were at his house.
"and then you passed out in my car when i was driving you home and you wouldn't wake up so i had to take you back to my place", he explains between bites of his toast. you cringe at the memory. "sorry", you mumble out.
later that week you still can't stop thinking about mingyu and even more so. he was just so sweet and charming. and you missed him. you're laying down in bed and it's late. you're staring at the ceiling and thinking about mingyu and your feelings. what was i so scared off? was i going to push away somehow just because i was unsure and scared, and maybe lose out on something because of that? and then regret it. you didn't want to. you'd done that plenty of times before and knew how it ended. so you get up. you were not going to make the same mistake with mingyu.
you threw on a hoodie and shoes and took the bus, making your way to mingyu's house. you run from the bus stop to his place, not caring if people gave you weird looks. you were just hoping that it wasn't too late and that mingyu would still listen and maybe give you a chance.
you run up the stairs not caring to wait for the elevator and ring his doorbell, leaning your hand against his door as you catch your breath. the door opens and you lose your balance, falling right into mingyu's arm. he catches you. "woah woah", he says seeing you. "y/n?", he asks, seeing you breathless. "are you okay? did something happen?", he asks again. you step inside, the door closing behind you.
"let me get you some water and-", "i like you too okay", you tell, catching him off guard and he just stares at you. "i like you a lot mingyu. i was just scared of my feelings and pushed you away and i was an idiot but now i realized now. i'm sorry about the other day, i shouldn't have said that but now i can see it, that i really like you", you continue in one breath as you look at mingyu.
mingyu falters, trying to hide the smile that so desperately wants to burst across his face. "damn, i didn't think you'd be so upfront about it", he tells as he smiles at you finally. "so you finally decided that you like me huh", he teases, taking a stride ahead as you take a step back until you're backed up against the door. mingyu stands in front of you, his arms on both sides of your body. he leans in ever so slightly. "y-yeah", you reply softly as you look at his lips.
mingyu smiles and you can't take it anymore. you lean forward and kiss him, melting right into his arms as his hands move to your waist, pulling you against him. god you had missed this. his lips were soft and they moved against yours making you dizzy. "i missed you", you whisper against his lips and he lets out a soft grunt. "me too baby but i knew you'd come around", he says. he sees your furrowed brows and realizes you didn't remember the drunk confession you had made to him.
"you don't remember? that night you called me over and like told me everything and confessed when you were drunk. i was just waiting for you to tell me when you were sober", he tells, kissing your jaw. "i really need to cut down on alcohol", you mutter and he chuckles. you find his lips again and kiss him. "you're really darn stubborn you know", mingyu tells you once he breaks away making you whack his arm.
he grins as he chases after your lips again, guiding you to the couch, pulling you on top of him, never once breaking away, making you breathless once again. "you now owe me another meal", he mumbles between kisses. "hm", you mumble, pecking his nose.
"be my boyfriend?", you ask, looking at him and he grins at that word. "whatever you want baby, i'm all yours", he tells as he kisses you again and you get lost in the feeling of his kisses and how his lips feel on yours.
it's been about three months since you and mingyu have been dating after you finally came to your senses and finally acknowledged your feelings about him. and honestly you were so happy. mingyu was sweet, funny, honest, passionate, and still annoyingly attractive but who were you to complain because you had him all to yourself now.
you're at mingyu's place because you're finally keeping your end of the deal and cooking another meal for him because you still owed mingyu one last meal, and he wasn't going to let you forget about it. after months of nagging and forgetting, remembering and nagging again, here you are, cooking him a meal.
"i really didn't think you'd make me cook for you again after i admitted how i felt like that's just petty", you tell. "we made a deal hm and it still has to be fulfilled", he counters. "i was glad you forgot about it...until now", you mumble and he chuckles.
you had prepared pork tonkatsu with some sides and you set everything on the table. "looks good", he says. "of course, this is like my specialty", you tell proudly with a smile. you watch as mingyu takes a bite and chews. "it's...better than i expected", he admits and you smile. "see, everyone loves it"
oh, and mingyu still loves to tease you about how you were 'playing hard to get' on purpose. "you know i still don't get why you hated me", he asks after dinner, where you both are sitting on the couch, having some cake mingyu bought.
"i didn't hate you", you defend. "liar, you totally hated me like i swear i saw lasers shooting from your eye the first time we met", he counters and you roll your eyes at his exaggeration.
"i just...i don't know, i thought you were so full of yourself and too cocky...and too good looking", you tell mumbling the last part. "hm what was that baby?", he prods, as he puts his plate down. "nothing", you tell. "speak up baby", "that you were too good looking oh my god", you tell, annoyed.
''you left out the most important part". "what?", you ask, confused. "that you were dying to sleep with me", he completes, with a stupid smirk.
"mingyu!", you exclaim, whacking his arm as he laughs. "i was not okay", you tell, putting down your plate too. "i just-" "was so desperate for me", he says, finishing the sentence for you, making you glare at him as he leans closer, wrapping his arm around your waist as he pulls you closer to him.
"you're so annoying", you huff. "only for you", he replies, as he leans in to kiss you and you get lost in the feeling of his lips on yours.
"you need to cook me something next time", you mumble as you pull away. "hm whatever you want", he says as he chases after your lips again, making you melt in his embrace.
taglist: @joshuaahong @naaaaafla
i'd love to know what you thought :) reblogs appreciated <3
