.39! pleaseeee with lena and Kara
39. “How long have you been standing there?”
Alex shot Kara a look as Lena apologetically excused herself to take a quick phone call from one of her clients. The second she was out of the room, Alex aggressively poked Kara in the elbow.
“It’s been like two hours and you haven’t done anything,” Alex whispered loudly. “When are you gonna make your move?”
They’d been playing a painfully long game of Monopoly for what felt like forever. Alex was sure by the time she left she’d have a plethora of grey hairs. But it wasn’t the tedious slowness of the game that was killing her– it was the obliviousness between Kara and her ‘best friend’ who absent-mindedly flirted with each other more than any lesbian couple she’d ever seen but refused to admit they had feelings for each other. It was almost painful to watch. It seemed so obvious, the way they held hands and shared a blanket.
Before Lena had come over they’d talked about it. Kara had said today would be the day she bit the bullet and told her how she felt and Alex had assured her that it would be alright. Lena was head over heels in love with her, everyone could see it. But they were almost two hours into their second round of Monopoly, and Kara hadn’t said a word about it.
“Come on, you’re just making excuses.”
“I am not!” Kara said defensively. “I just don’t want to ask her out while my sister’s here, that’s weird.”
“Okay, if I leave will you do it?” Alex asked, raising an eyebrow.
Kara folded her arms over her chest and shrugged childishly, avoiding Alex’s glance.
“I knew it.” Alex sighed.
“It’s just not the right time, okay? I don’t want to mess anything up between us,” Kara explained.
“You’re not gonna mess anything up,” Alex said softly. “Trust me, I see the way she looks at you, she’s in just as deep as you are.”
“I know, but what if I scare her away? Even if she does like me, she probably likes me in the let’s go on a few dates then forget about it kind of way. I’m in way too deep to do something like that.” Kara shook her head. She couldn’t risk it, she couldn’t even imagine what life would be like without Lena. She was not about to put their years of friendship on the line for a few flimsy dates that would ultimately end in them drifting apart. Kara was not going to give up what they had if it could be avoided by just keeping her feelings inside for a little while longer; no matter how painful it may be.
“I’m okay with pushing it down if that means we can still be friends. I just– I can’t afford to lose her, Alex.”
Alex nodded without saying anything. Once Kara had her mind made up this way, it was unlikely there was anything she could say to get her to change it.
“I know you think I should tell her and I wish I could too but she means too much to me. If she doesn’t feel the same way… if she doesn’t love me too, that could ruin what we have and I– she means too much to risk it.”
Kara whipped her head around at the sound of Lena’s soft, raspy voice. She stood at the other end of the room holding up her phone, a dumbfounded expression on her face.
“My call ended,” she stated the obvious. Kara had never seen her so puzzled, as if she were trying to put all the pieces together but they just wouldn’t fit.
“How long have you been standing there?” Kara asked, barely able to get the words out.
“Probably longer than you would’ve liked,” Lena confessed with a meek chuckle. And Kara’s breath caught in her throat. She’d heard all of it. All of her sappy words that were never meant to be heard. All of the fears she’d just admitted– they were all moments away from coming true.
Kara bit her lip. Of course, she’d meant it, Lena had to know that, right?
“I’m gonna go,” Alex interrupted and stood up awkwardly, shooting Kara a hopeful glance and mouthing text me later before quickly rushing out of her sister’s apartment.
“So… did you?” Lena asked once more when she was gone. She took a hesitant step forward and held her breath when Kara didn’t back away as she’d expected.
Lena smiled and shuffled back and forth on her heels. She looked down at her shoes, unable to look Kara in the eye as she tried to process it.
She’d imagined what it would be like to be here, to have Kara tell her her feelings weren’t one-sided, but never in a million years did she think it would actually happen.
“And the part about how I mean too much to ever risk losing?” Lena asked, her voice filled with disbelief.
Kara nodded. “Especially that part.”
“Even if it means pushing down how you really feel?”
Kara shrugged bashfully and nodded once more. “Yeah.”
Lena smiled and made her way over to the sofa where Kara was standing. She took Kara’s hands in her own and gave them a squeeze, rubbing the pad of her thumb over Kara’s palm.
“Kara, you should never have to hide how you feel from me, you can tell me anything,” she said, looking up and meeting Kara’s eyes for the first time. “And if I’ve done anything to make you feel like you can’t, I’m so sorry.”
Kara shook her head. “No, you didn’t do anything, you’re perfect,” she said. And Lena smiled, her body visibly overcome with relief.
“You’re never gonna lose me, Kara. I love you too much to let you go.”
As soon as the words left her mouth, Lena felt a weight she hadn’t even realized was there lift off her shoulders. It was like she could finally breathe again for the first time in years when she saw the way Kara’s face lit up at her words. Everything she’d ever told herself she needed to suppress or keep to herself, all the things inside her that had once been so terrifying– and admittedly still kind of were, were standing right in front of her. And somehow, in some incredible twist of fate, she couldn’t have felt better.
“You…” Kara stopped, unable to find the right words.
Kara let out a laugh in disbelief, unsure of how else to react. “You do?”
“Yes,” Lena said, playfully rolling her eyes. “Now do you want me to keep saying it, or can I kiss you?”
“Kiss me,” Kara said, without a moment of hesitation. She pulled Lena close and closed her eyes, relishing in the taste of cherry chapstick and wine. She had no idea how she’d gotten this lucky, but she hoped the feeling would never go away.
titsay
origamiaround
gummygunk
ellievsbear
discoholicmusic
