hm. @athousandcherryblossoms - Tumblr Blog

he/they // transmasc //bi // desi + american

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speech and debate * art * writing

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#abt moi #pinned

thickness-protection-program

According to fox entertainment this is who we should be afraid of. I didn't know who Francesca Hong was 10 minutes ago but thankfully now I'm aware of this monster and her monsterous policies

storm-of-feathers

tumblr is great bc its like a diary where I can take other peoples diary entries and glue them into my own diary

At least I graduate in a year

currentlycryingaboutlancelot

fully sober in the club googling iliad full text

fawnblooms

Trashed off my ass in the library with a hardback copy of the iliad

lowk id love to lock in and see if i pass well enough by the end of the schoolyr and can be out at college…

#ares.txt #ugh

what-even-is-thiss

Apparently correctly spelling Hairy Porber in my posts criticizing it draws TERFs to my posts. I guess they have no hobbies or something and are just looking for people to harass.

what-even-is-thiss

I’ve found that there’s a surprising number of people who seem to search out specific words or phrases on tumblr to look for people to harass. Which is just like. Wouldn’t you rather be doing something fun?

what-even-is-thiss

Anyways current Hairy Pottage fans aren’t allowed in my treehouse

danceundersparklinglights

i’m going to be really honest with you guys i think the tendency to read the absolute worst possible intentions into every action you don’t agree with is getting too automatic and it’s eating you from the inside out

petewentzisblack1312

was anyone gonna tell me mitch mcconnell collapsed in his office and has been in the hospital for weeks. wouldve been a nice pick me up.

petewentzisblack1312

edit it WASNT in his office it was at HOME. oh well im not that picky.

petewentzisblack1312

his aides are being really cagey and the governor is pissed because if hes dead he needs to appoint someone but he needs to know hes dead to do that. typical mitch blocking a democrat appointee. he maybe died doing what he loved i guess.

junglejim4322

Unironically I think the early to mid 20s age group in America has unbelievably bad consent boundaries on all levels and so much language to defend it but this makes me sound like elon musk if I say it however the commonality of someone who will be like “I had 47 panic attacks and it’s your fault” if you tell them no is insane

junglejim4322

I rejected someone and got called “the scariest person I’ve ever met” with so much therapy speak interspersed like alright okay alright okay alright okay

junglejim4322

“You just say whatever you’re thinking and I don’t know how to handle it” was verbatim part of this conversation. Also everyone hates to see an autistic bitch

transhumanisticpanspermia

When I was in this age bracket, there was a huge emphasis on improving consent culture via graceful rejection, and it's gone by the wayside. Which sucks.

Twice in my youth (once in high school and once in college) I was in situations where I was asking someone out and I could tell they were calculating in their heads the risks of rejecting me, and both times I said, out loud, "you can say no, I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't prepared for either answer." And then they said no. This wasn't some spark of special wisdom I had - I knew to do it because feminist conversations among my age group brought it up regularly. This isn't happening nearly enough anymore.

More recently, I was really glad when we got to "rejection sensitive dysphoria" in my IOP program and it was one of those symptoms where the therapists really emphasized how it affects others. Because it does.

Being someone who cannot handle rejection makes you much more likely to violate boundaries, and yes, that includes sexual ones. Yes, you, reader who has never hurt a fly. If you don't want to stumble backwards into sexually assaulting someone, fix your RSD meltdowns. If you keep them up it's only a matter of time. Because if you're nice enough to interact with, but are known to have RSD meltdowns, guess what happens when your friends and acquaintances need to reject you?

coreomajoris

Some of the ways of putting it, above, are extreme to the point of ableism. However, RSD and a lack of distress tolerance are, in fact, how a number of people who are themselves hurting also hurt others in the process. Plenty of people who have their own pain manage to treat others well, not without some mutual awkwardness and emotion and often mutual pain but nevertheless well, because they have learned enough distress tolerance to get through a situation without hitting back verbally or physically, until they can get away and address their own needs.

Some of the moments I am least proud of in my life are things I did because I didn't have enough distress tolerance to stop myself. And some of the people who have treated me the worst in my life were notably unable to not tolerate envy and jealousy, frustration about things they were themselves bad at, or impatience, without lashing out and deciding to hold grudges/exact punishment, over these negative emotions that everyone experiences at some time.

So practice distress tolerance, and teach others that it is important to practice distress tolerance. It's through loving ourselves through negative emotions like that, that we become able to make the world kinder for each other.

bioluminescently-unfolding

I am really glad that of that last addition, because the foregoing comes perilously close to "neurodivergent people are more likely to do sexual assault", and I would rather we weren't stereotyping minorities like that, especially at a time when we've got at least two governments deeply digging themselves into the ableism trenches and specifically targeting neurodivergent people. Stereotypes can have a very real impact on people's safety, in all directions.

And yet we very much do need discussion about what happens when someone enthrones their struggle to take rejection gracefully and demands that others genuflect to it. That can't be normalised as harmless behaviour either.

Likewise, I don't want to overgeneralise about any given generation. I have absolutely watched young people in my community escalate conflicts because interpersonal conflict has only ever been framed for them through the lens of abuse, and the idea that someone might be inept but not malign can get lost. And still there can be very real problems of abuse going on in their lives at the same time, which they are also struggling to grapple with. I think this is a very hard time to be young and that we're lucky we didn't have to do it in the present social media panopticon. I know plenty of older Millennials and Gen Xers who fall into the same traps.

There's limited utility to teaching people how to do conflict if we are not also teaching them how to regulate and how to do repair. Repair can be scary and vulnerable, and of course there are situations when it is not safe, not appropriate, and/or not someone's responsibility to attempt it.

Sometimes repair is simply not possible or desirable. But it is something that I think many of us, of all ages, need to know more about. Because without having repair skills on hand, and without having regulation skills on hand, there can be such pressure on any friendship, any relationship of any kind, to never falter, to never land in the weeds, to never crack under strain. And that is one of the factors that, in my experience, does the most harm.

captain-price-returns

Arrest everyone involved.

captain-price-returns

Money saved: maybe a couple million dollars.

People killed: around three quarters of a million.

blackheartbiohazards

➡️ Content warnings on fiction are a courtesy.

➡️ Not every medium of fiction and storytelling has or is expected to have content warnings or extensive tagging.

➡️ Print novels do not traditionally warn for content in any way.

➡️ Until AO3 came along, fanfiction did not traditionally warn for content in any significant way.

➡️ An author is only obligated to warn for content to the degree mandated by the format they publish their fiction on.

➡️ Content warnings beyond the minimum are a courtesy, not an obligation.

➡️ 'Creator chose not to warn' is a valid tag that authors are allowed to use on AO3. It means there could be anything in there and you have accepted the risk. 'May contain peanuts!'

➡️ Writers are allowed to use 'Creator chose not to warn' for any reason, including to maintain surprise and avoid spoilers.

➡️ 'Creator chose not to warn' is not the same thing as 'no archive warnings apply'.

➡️ It is your responsibility to protect yourself and close a book, or hit the back button if you find something in fiction that you're reading that upsets you.

➡️ You are responsible for protecting yourself from fiction that causes you discomfort.

hylianane

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I