Anxious and Autistic

My name is Rowen. I'm 19 and a Canadian living in the US. Please feel free to ask and send me messages, I love them. Enjoy! they/their/them

[redgoldsparks]

My latest comic for The Nib was written by my friend Mike Thompson- it’s his first published comics work! 

The Nib has been a steady source of income and a huge support to me and many other indie cartoonists for years. They publish amazing work, but will be cut loose by their financial backer in July. You can read the official post about it from editor Matt Bors here.  They are still running their kickstarter-funded print magazine, but have to put digital publishing on hiatus until they figure out their next steps. If you’ve been thinking about supporting their membership program, now would be a good time. They have levels from $2 to $40 per month. I really don’t want this to be my last Nib piece! 

instagram / patreon / portfolio / the nib / etsy

[whitepeopletwitter]

[salenforu]

When you follow aesthetic/fandom blogs but also social issue blogs

[autisticpokemontrainer]

This is also just how my brain works.

[stimmyworkinprogress]

What to do if ______ has a panic attack / meltdown / sensory overload:

Stay calm. Breathe.

I know you’ll want to get close to me and cuddle me, but for right now, until I show that I want or need closeness and cuddles, sit or lay down a little ways away from me.

Calmly tell me that you’re right here if I need you. Don’t push, just let me know you’re there.

As long as I’m not hurting myself (e.g. hitting myself, banging my head on things), just give me some space please.

If I am hurting myself with behaviors like this, gently intervene. Put a pillow between my head and whatever I’m hitting it against, or put one over my lap so I’m hitting the pillow rather than my thighs. Something like that. Don’t grab me or pull at my hands/arms. Doing so will now help and might make things worse.

I don’t want to hurt you and if I accidentally did, I’m really, really sorry. Ease yourself a bit further from me so there is less risk of unintentionally bumping you or something.

Let me stim however I need to to get myself through this.

If I’m rocking, covering my eyes or ears, rubbing my head or ears or eyes, rubbing my thighs, biting a knuckle, humming, etc., please just leave me be and allow me to do what I need to.

If I can’t talk or sign or write/text, don’t try to make me. I will explain what happened once I’m able to (even if this means I can’t today).

If your anxiety starts to peak and you need some fresh air, it’s okay to step away. Calmly tell me that you need to step outside, that you are not going to hurt yourself in any way, you just need air, and that you will be back as soon as you’re able.

Remind yourself that I will explain when I can, I will be okay, and that you are not failing me by taking time to yourself.

If I’m still stuck when you come back from giving yourself some space to breathe and take care of yourself…

Maybe put on some soft sleep music on youtube or put on a light show that we like – such as Gravity Falls, Steven Universe, Bob’s Burgers, or Adventure Time. 

Maybe put some of my stim toys near my hands or where I might see them in case they might be helpful but I haven’t been able to get them myself.

Even if I don’t immediately respond to this or other external stimuli, that’s okay. It might take some time for me to overcome this mental breakdown. Just relax and focus on taking care of yourself right now.

Most important of all, take care of yourself while this happens. I know it’s scary, but focus on getting yourself through this stressful time. You’re allowed to sleep if you need to. You’re not ditching me. I’ll be okay. And I’ll get you if I need you.

I’m not doing this to hurt you. This is just a thing that happens sometimes when I get overloaded or triggered because I’m autistic and because of my anxiety or PTSD.

When I can, I will sign or text/write or talk to you. If I can’t verbally explain right now, I’m sorry, and I may need to wait until I’m capable of speech before I’m able to explain what happened/triggered me. This may not be until tomorrow or the next day.

Please be patient with me.

[lysikan]

Yes. It isn’t about you. be calm. The best thing you can do is be calm.

[twelvesclockworksquirrel]

Hey, Abled people

Take your good intentions and put them to PROPER use:

If disabled voices try to tell you that your solution to protect disabled people from fakers will, in fact, harm us and our peers, LISTEN.

We don’t need you to be our heroes. We don’t need paternalistic allies. We need allies that LISTEN TO WHAT WE ACTUALLY SAY WE WANT/NEED.

If that means that on occasion some entitled lady-snob gets away with bringing her precious Fluffy everywhere by saying he’s a service dog, so be it. If that means, from time to time, some jackass day trader with an over-compensating car parks in disabled parking because he’ll “only be a minute,” so be it.

Are they human garbage?

Oh hell yes.

Does it piss me the fuck off?

YES, IT DOES.

But does that mean I want it to be harder for my disabled peers to acquire a service dog because supposed abled-do-gooders decided to outlaw self-trained dogs? 

FUCK NO.

Does it mean I want abled people policing strangers who park in the disability parking so that my friends with invisible illness get harassed, accused of stealing placards, given dirty looks, or asked to divulge their medical history to prove they’re “disabled enough?”

AGAIN, FUCK NO.

Don’t punish us because some of your abled peers are utter shite. Don’t make life harder for us because you want to feel like a hero protecting those poor disabled people while ignoring what we actually tell you we need.

If you REALLY want to be an ally, then police YOURSELF. 

Are you using the accessible toilet stall to change clothes, or because you’re in a hurry and don’t want to wait for a small stall to open up, or because you just like having more room? Then you’re not the ally you think you are.

Do you support organizations like Autism Speaks? Then you’re not the ally you think you are.

Do you insist on using “PC language” that is actually insulting and the disabled community repeatedly points out is problematic (i.e. “handi-capable,” person-first language, etc.)? Then you’re not the ally you think you are.

Do you use out right ableist language like the r-word or use mental illnesses as an insult (especially to insult people that more accurately should be labeled as jerks, entitled, violent, or so on)? Then you’re not the ally you think you are.

Do you go around supporting right-to-die without also supporting families that choose not to abort fetuses with genetic disorders or supporting disabled people who want to continue living their lives with what you think are “severe” disabilities? Then you’re not the ally you think you are.

Worry about your own shit before you go around making life difficult for us thinking you’re saving us from other abled people.

[lysikan]

As @candidlyautistic put it for autistics but it applies to any disability: I would rather let a “special snowflake” into the autistic community than exclude an autistic that needs support and cannot get a clinical diagnosis.

[murdershegoat]

what really bothers me is that channing tatum may look like a thumb, but he’s a really cool dude. like, he’s openly bi and clearly is obsessed with his family and apparently loves fairies and there was that time he helped stan lee off stage bc he’s a gentleman and his favorite disney character is the sentient broom from fantasia and he’s been outspoken about gender equality and stuff and also his wife is hot as hell

but his fanbase is essentially like 40-60 year old women who are like ‘OOOOOOOH ABS MUSCLES DANCE LIL BITCH’ and it’s created this v specific image of channing tatum in the media when in reality his image should be giant fucken nerd in love w his amazing wife

[murdershegoat]

hello i’d just like to publicly apologise for calling channing tatum a thumb at the beginning of this post it’s been bugging me for days and he doesnt deserve that he’s just out there trying to live his best life

[youngchronicpain]

chronic pain isn’t just dealing with pain

-it is choosing between making food or taking a shower

-it is having to take meds on an empty stomach and dry heaving through a morning

-it is knowing that you can’t possibly balance your school/work, social life, and physical fitness all at the same time

-it is barely being able to handle one

-it is years of having to miss out on years of events and parties and being dubbed “antisocial” because of it 

-it is spending 99% of your time in pain and alone 

it is so much more than “just pain”. I think abled people forget that chronic pain really does permeate every aspect of a person’s life. 

[plant-ghoul]

If I may add to this… -It is having to plan your days/weeks/months around your pain -It is having to break engagements you planned for months in advance but your pain decided it would jeopardize your happiness -It is taking two steps forward and one step back constantly throughout your life -It is dealing with people thinking you’re not only antisocial but a flake who doesn’t keep promises Chronic pain destroys your life.

[lemondifficult]

Why is Benedict Cumberbatch in so many biopics literally no other human looks like that

[droideka-exe]

“the babadook is gay” as a meme was funny because it had an actual precipitating event (being mistakenly placed in the LGBT section of Netflix). people extracted meaning from that (the babadook represents mental illness in LGBT teens) and… sure, whatever, do what you want with your time

but please for the love of holy god don’t blindly apply that meme to pennywise. pennywise is a child predator in a horror novel with explicit themes of homophobia and pedophilia. both of which are stigmas applied to LGBT people that we are STILL actively fighting

sometimes when memes die they should stay dead!!!

[bob-belcher]

Only in Florida would they have to instruct people not to file their guns at a hurricane.

[kingjaffejoffer]

aggressively american

[thighetician]

“Bullets come back, don’t shoot”

Earth’s defense is unfuckwithable

[ruinedchildhood]

[wigglingwaffles]

Meanwhile, Trump’s inauguration was literally the most watched program in American history at 31.1 million viewers

[king-jarrod]

The most watched program in American history at 115.2 million viewers was Super Bowl XLIX on February 1, 2015. And the only non-sporting event that made the top 20 of most watched broadcasts was at number 8 the M*A*S*H finale on February 28, 1983 with 105.9 million viewers. Trump’s inauguration wasn’t even the most viewed inauguration, that goes to President Reagan’s first inauguration with nearly 42 million viewers, the second most watched inauguration goes to President Obama’s first inauguration with 37 million viewers. So Trump’s inauguration was very far from “literally the most watched program in American history” as you put it.

[aspiringdoctoruk-blog]

But who needs facts in Trump America?

[sugarsculls]

[girlactionfigure]

[orangesplorange11-blog]

I applaud👏🏾👏🏾. Those woman basically looked death in the face and chose to fight. Such bravery needs to be remembered.

[naaaaaaaaaah-deactivated2020112]

Reasons are not automatically excuses

Reasons are not automatically excuses

Reasons are not automatically excuses

Correct:

“i’m so sorry I hurt you like that. I’m really struggling with my mental illness. That doesn’t make it okay, but that’s just the reason why I’m being like this. I’m sorry for being a dick.

Disgusting:

“um, well I have depression so you should stop hating on me and cut me a break. I can do whatever I want.”

Reasons are not automatically excuses.

Correct:

“sorry that I lashed out. My sister is in hospital and I’m really messed up about it. I’ve been pretending I’m fine about it and then I took everything out on you. I’m really sorry.”

Disgusting:

“lol um,, my sister is in HOSPITAL with CANCER so u should get off my back and stop being mean to me because im, like, so totally upset”

Reasons are not automatically excuses.

[celestudies]

je suis désolée

[arcticfoxbear]

Humans Are Weird

So there has been a bit of “what if humans were the weird ones?” going around tumblr at the moment and Earth Day got me thinking. Earth is a wonky place, the axis tilts, the orbit wobbles, and the ground spews molten rock for goodness sakes. What if what makes humans weird is just our capacity to survive? What if all the other life bearing planets are these mild, Mediterranean climates with no seasons, no tectonic plates, and no intense weather? 

What if several species (including humans) land on a world and the humans are all “SCORE! Earth like world! Let’s get exploring before we get out competed!” And the planet starts offing the other aliens right and left, electric storms, hypothermia, tornadoes and the humans are just … there… counting seconds between flashes, having snowball fights, and just surviving. 

[arafaelkestra]

To paraphrase one of my favorite bits of a ‘humans are awesome’ fiction megapost: “you don’t know you’re from a Death World until you leave it.” For a ton of reasons, I really like the idea of Earth being Space Australia.

[radioactivepeasant]

Earth being Space Australia Words cannot express how much I love these posts

[crazy-pages]

Alien: “I’m sorry, what did you just say your comfortable temperature range is?”

Human: “Honestly we can tolerate anywhere from -40 to 50 Celcius, but we prefer the 0 to 30 range.”

Alien: “……. I’m sorry, did you just list temperatures below freezing?”

Human: “Yeah, but most of us prefer to throw on scarves or jackets at those temperatures it can be a bit nippy.” 

Other human: “Nah mate, I knew this guy in college who refused to wear anything past his knees and elbows until it was -20 at least.”

Human: “Heh. Yeah everybody knows someone like that.”

Alien: “……. And did you also say 50 Celcius? As in, half way to boiling?”

Human: “Eugh. Yes. It sucks, we sweat everywhere, and god help you if you touch a seatbelt buckle, but yes.” 

Alien: “……. We’ve got like 50 uninhabitable planets we think you might enjoy.” 

[val-ritz]

“You’re telling me that you have… settlements. On islands with active volcanism?” “Well, yeah. I’m not about to tell Iceland and Hawaii how to live their lives. Actually, it’s kind of a tourist attraction.” “What, the molten rock?” “Well, yeah! It’s not every day you see a mountain spew out liquid rocks! The best one is Yellowstone, though. All these hot springs and geysers from the supervolcano–” “You ACTIVELY SEEK OUT ACTIVE SUPERVOLCANOES?” “Shit, man, we swim in the groundwater near them.”

[wuestenratte]

Sounds like the “Damned” trilogy by Alan Dean Foster.

[networkentertainment-offici-blog]

“And you say the poles of your world would get as low as negative one hundred with wind chill?” 

“Yup, with blizzards you cant see through every other day just about.”

“Amazing! when did you manage to send drones that could survive such temperatures?”

“… well, actually…”

“… what?”

“…we kinda……. sent……….. people…..”

“…”

“…”

“…what?”

“we sent-”

“no yeah I heard you I just- what? You sent… HUMANS… to a place one hundred degrees below freezing?”

“y-yeah”

“and they didn’t… die?”

“Well the first few did”

“PEOPLE DIED OF THE COLD AND YOUR SOLUTION WAS TO SEND MORE PEOPLE???!?!?!?”

[arcticfoxbear]

My new favorite Humans are Weird quote

“PEOPLE DIED OF THE COLD AND YOUR SOLUTION WAS TO SEND MORE PEOPLE?”

aka The History of Russia

aka Arctic Exploration

aka The History of Alaska

[unicornempire]

Being from Alaska, this was sort of how I felt going to college in the lower 48′s and learned that no one else had been put through a literal survival camp as a regular part of their school curriculum, including but not limited to:

1. Learning to recognize all forms of animal tracks in the wild so you can avoid bears and moose and search out rabbits and other small animals to eat.

2. Extensive swimming and climbing on glacial pieces with competitions to see who could last the longest, followed by a group sit in the sauna so we wouldn’t get hypothermia (no, not kidding, I really did this many times as a kid!)

3. How to navigate using the stars to get back to civilization.

4. How to select the right type of moss from the trees to start a fire with damp wood (because, y’know, you’re in a field of snow. Nothing is dry.)

5. How to carve out a small igloo-like space to sleep in the snow to preserve body heat and reduce the windchill so you won’t freeze to death in the arctic.

[reformed-roark]

“I’m telling you, I don’t think we need to worry about territory conflicts with the humans. You know all those deathtrap hell-worlds in the Argoth Cluster?” “Those worthless rocks? Yeah.” “80% of them are considered ‘resort destinations’ by those freaky little primates.”

[down-sizing-deactivated20180211]

“I’m telling you, they terraform for fun!” “Don’t be ridiculous” “No, seriously. Some of their most celebrated cultural loci are built on swamps. They have an entire city that is literally in a body of water. Not, like, an artificial pontoon city, they literally sunk the foundations into water. For Grilp’s sake, they build elaborate structures out of frozen water AND THEN SLEEP IN THEM.” “Dear Thilak. Think we could get them to terraform our moons?” “Psh, they’d probably pay for the privilege.”

[galaxystew]

Eventually, it occurs to someone that humans are the perfect terraforming shock troops, as it were. They think it’s fun to be sent to horrible planets! They’re really good at surviving and then taming them! All you have to do is sit back and wait until the planet is habitable, and then move there yourself! It’s genius.

It only takes one try before the reality of the situation sets in: human definitions of ‘taming’ and ‘habitable’ are woefully incomplete.

“Why did you not eliminate the venomous plant life?” Grahssk’ti moans, clutching one limb.

“Those?” The human laughs. “Why bother? They’re not that bad. And they eat the mosquitoes.”

Grahssk’ti shudders. The ‘mosquitoes’ are… not to be mentioned. Just one swarm of them caused a landing shuttle to crash three planetary daylights ago.

“And the acid storms? Why did you not warn us of them?”

“I mean, they’re annoying,” the human says, shrugging, “but we figured the cool sunsets made up for it.”

Grahssk’ti flails helplessly. “What about the ten-meter tall Fanged Death Bringers? They can eliminate an entire settlement in under an hour!”

“They’re so cute!” the human says, brightening. “Have you met mine? Her name is Spot!”

[exvind]

Humans are told of some planet or region of space that is considered “completely and utterly inhospitable - it would be folly to try and settle there.”

Without fail, a decent number make it a point to settle there because “Fuck You That’s Why.” It doesn’t matter how uneconomical it is, how difficult the conditions are, how utterly ridiculous it may seem, there will be at least one human who will attempt to do it only because someone else regardless of species says it is improbable or WORSE impossible. 

“This moon is still forming as such it is primarily soft - by that I mean most of the magma is close to the surface and-” ‘OH BADASS you mean its like Mustafar right!?!?!?! I’m totally going to build a castle there.’ “What. I mean. There is NO fertile ground there whatsoever. No ecosystem. It is molten rock and minerals only.” ‘Which will make my castle there look METAL AS FUCK am I RIGHT!?!??! Come on. COME ON. I TAUGHT YOU HOW TO FISTBUMP COME ON.’ “….you….you are going to die, you know this right?” ‘I’m getting the feeling you don’t want to come to Lava Castle for some reason?’

[awkwardtimezone]

This is the quality scifi I sign up for.

[nashvillehotshrimp]

I’ve posted this before, but I will never be over it.

[beewatch-deactivated20200725]