Sleeping poorly is so embarrassing... sorry im grumpy I stayed up past my bedtime. Like a toddler

JVL
Monterey Bay Aquarium
KIROKAZE
🪼
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Three Goblin Art
Cosmic Funnies
Cosimo Galluzzi
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
trying on a metaphor
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
EXPECTATIONS
No title available
will byers stan first human second
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Stranger Things
Claire Keane

Kiana Khansmith
d e v o n

izzy's playlists!
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@avendesora-sedai
Sleeping poorly is so embarrassing... sorry im grumpy I stayed up past my bedtime. Like a toddler
"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s
"There's millions of Tumblr users" to you. To me There's only about 12 and we all reblog the same five posts from each other
"There's millions of Tumblr users" to you. To me There's only about 12 and we all reblog the same five posts from each other
day 15 of quarantine
Caramelldansen Meme 2020 feat. Deathstroke
he’s made more than one of these and they’re making me insane because for two days i haven’t been able to stop saying ‘i knew it! he’s a vampire! i knew it! i knew it! he’s a vampire! i knew it! he’s’ (x)
i knew it! he's a vampire! i knew it! i knew it! i knew it, he's a vampire! he's a vampire, i knew it! i knew it! he's a vampire! i knew it!
i knew it! he's a vampire!
So funny story actually. One of my friends was hooking up with this girl, they were friends with benefits. She needed a date for some work party so he agreed to go with her. Turns out her dad owns like 3 dental practices and she worked as the business manager for one of them.
Anyway my friend had some not so nice teeth and during dinner the father of his fwb was like “you work where you work, you sleep with him and his teeth look like that? Get him an appointment.”and then bounced. So his fwb made him an appointment at the practice she managed and my friend ended up needing like 3k worth of dental work and his friend with benefits just gave it to him for free.
So that is the story of how my friend not only got sex, but dental out of the friends with benefits deal.
you and your dreadful little polycule haven't seen the last of me
The Daily Times, New Philadelphia, Ohio, July 9, 1924
whoever wrote this paper has the funniest phrasing possible
happy turtle bit off a cop’s toe in the hudson river day for those who celebrate
A CENTURY AGO
According to fox entertainment this is who we should be afraid of. I didn't know who Francesca Hong was 10 minutes ago but thankfully now I'm aware of this monster and her monsterous policies
Yes I know you mistrust the banks, milord, and I don't blame you, but their Vault Wizards are specially trained to prevent dragons from detecting large amounts of gold. I cannot emphasize enough that it's a full-time job employing multiple specialists, I'm not trying to be humble here but it's not something that just the court magician and I can set up a couple wards for on the weekends and call it good.
It's, it's just that dragons are the primordial embodiment of avarice wrought into fire and flesh. They are truly, supernaturally good at finding large amounts of valuables, that's why the big mines hire those Dragon Scouts to go sniff out their lairs and mark them on the maps as potential mining ventures. You know, in case someone slays the relevant dragon. Which doesn't happen often because, milord, they are simply not that easily slain.
No I know you've hired many knights, blooded warriors and true. Yes, I was there when you gave the ten most impressive ones their special sashes. Very grand, very high honors, of course. Ehm. It's just, none of them have ever actually faced a dragon. Yes no I know Sir Edbert says he did but Sir Edbert is rather notoriously prone to exaggerated and tragically unverifiable tales---
Well no milord of course I would not doubt the word of a sworn knight. Perhaps his sobriety, but not his word, as such.
The point is that the grand treasury, while surely grand and a very special notion, is just... it is mayhaps not the ideal way of handling the realm's finances? Perhaps a series of smaller vaults, capped well below the dangerous wealth threshold at which gold is known to whet the appetite of colossal winged harbingers of death, in different corners of the realms or...?
No, I, yes well I do realize that will impede anyone's interests in coming into the vault to hurl around the gold coins and go "whee, I'm so rich!" I am aware of its deficiencies as a plan in that regard. No, I see I've misjudged a few things.
Actually, thinking on it, milord, I truly believe what you need is a fresh set of skilled wizards on this job. The court magician and I, we cannot keep up with your visionary thinking. We're too old-fashioned. But the wizards revolutionizing the eldritch academies seem to be more on this sort of level. I hear they've made some truly remarkable choices in terms of outsourcing all of their spellwork to the Ever-Whispering Void, such that it takes mere minutes for them to set up an entire defensive array. That's just the sort of innovative thinking you require.
Though it will grieve the court magician and I to leave your service, perhaps this is a sign that retirement is overdue. So I'll just... be moving further away from the big pile of gold... in the opulent, dome-shaped building with the crystal skylight... best wishes.
ice water is awesome because you get more water in your water
you think youre out of water but then you check back in five minutes and woah! theres more water! the world is so beautiful
"Claws like sharpened bananas shot toward me."
this sentence is
good
bad
ITS EVOCATIVE! LIKE GREAT BIG HUGE BANANAS EXCEPT SHARP!
YOU DO IT ON ONE OF THESE! OBVIOUSLY!!!
a lot of people are very angry with me over this, but I'd just like you to sit down and imagine a banana. maybe a green one so it's extra firm. if you need it to be harder, you can toss it in the freezer.
and that brown end? the hard bit? pencil sharpener. or sharpened with a blade. are you following me? now, attach six of those to a harpy.
yeah. I think you're seeing the vision. you can apologize to me any time you're ready
check in time:
I see the vision
it's still really bad
GOD DAMN IT!
lvl 1: the plural of octopus is octopuses because the plural version of a word is the word with an s at the end
lvl 2: the plural version of octopus is octopi because if a word ends with "us" the plural version replaces the "us" with "i" e.g. cactus -> cacti and fungus -> fungi
lvl 3: actually, that rule is only for latin words. octopus is a greek word and the correct plural is octopuses or octopodes
lvl 4: actually, language is descriptive not prescriptive. since enough people over time have used octopi as the plural for octopus, it's a valid plural
lvl 5: the plural of octopus is octopeese, like geese
Lvl 6: My Marine Biology professor told me it was technically “Octopods” to bring it in line with “Cephalopod,” but that if the class is falling asleep you can call them “Octopussies”
well to be fair a pitching record like 'no one hit the ball' is gonna get harder as modern athleticism is sculpted further, since that's not a measure of absolute ball-throwing ability but of ability to throw in a way that will bedevil the opposing team into failure. the whole reason modern athletes have All That going on is they're all in an arms race with each other.
peeta tried to save him and katniss by saying she had a baby, because he knew that would pull at the capitals heart strings. In a dystopian society, peeta mellark knew the capital would care more about a fetus than the real dying children . this sounds oddly familiar