lane 🌈

not enough lesbian content; they/them

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

[themadcapmathematician]

I hate government programs in the US bc conservatives are always trying to dismantle them so the lefty byline is always like "these programs are vital and lifesaving and keep so many people from starving and being homeless, they're Very Good and you have a moral obligation to protect and defend them!" and the program is question is something called the National Anti Hunger Initiative or NAHI and it only applies to people who have $527 or less a month in Net Perforated Index-Subnet Income (NPISI) before taxes and housing costs and the program gives you a $99 a month voucher that reloads every 1/80th waxing moon that is only good for buying specific brands of gruel BUT you only get to take 200 breaths a day when you're on the program and for every breath over 200 you take they subtract one dollar from the vouchers you receive and you have to count and report your own breaths bc they don't have the funding to do that and if you misrepresent the amount of breaths you take that's Breath Fraud and there's a hotline you can call to report someone's Breath Fraud and you can be denied gruel vouchers for the rest of your life if youre accused of Breath Fraud. And you're just like. Not allowed to complain abt this bc apparently the only alternative to this is no one ever gets gruel vouchers

[milk5-deactivated20260704]

Mangled corpse of cave man 8000 years old grasping primitive samsung phone discovered in croatian bog soil

[milk5-deactivated20260704]

forensic evidence suggests that he was typing the following message at time of death:

not my White Ass succumbing to Great Tusk Predator 😭😭

[warpsbyherself]

Interestingly, he probably had dark skin, since the genes for low pigmentation were only just beginning to spread in Europe 8000 years ago.

[milk5-deactivated20260704]

He was white as fuck and had doodle jump on his phone

[zvaigzdelasas]

[femmepathy]

obsessed with the guy sitting next to me on the bus who i caught googling "what is commie dyke" after seeing my buttons

[dashaibo]

"Commie dyke" is a nice euphemism for "forcibly confined to a mental institution and fed Haldol until they became a vegetable", since that what happened to LGBT people in USSR

[leviathan-supersystem]

the united states was sending people to prison for being gay in some states up until 2003, yet you don't seem to have any problem with the prospect of someone being a gay capitalist.

furthermore, the socialist republic of vietnam has never had any laws against homosexuality in it's entire history, and cuba just recently passed a family code which is easily the most progressive in the world, and provides free GRS for trans people, and legalized homosexuality in 1979, well before it was legalized nationwide in the united states.

yes, there have been marxist-leninist countries which have had homophobic laws, but the narrative that communist countries have been uniformly more homophobic than capitalist countries falls apart if it's given any scrutiny whatsoever. at worst you could say communist countries have been on par with capitalist countries.

[frankiedotbiz]

TRUE CRIME PODCASTER: *in the same cadence you would tell a preschooler a bedtime story* ...and this guy was kinda freakin gross! He would hang his victims on meat hooks in his shack! I'm not gonna lie guys, that sounds pretty icky! Major red flag moment, LOL! But do you know who WOULDNT send you human organs? Our sponsor, HelloFresh!

LOST MEDIA YOUTUBER: *in the same cadence you would issue a debriefing on a terrorist attack* Number 7. The Oonglydoomples. *scary transition sound to slowed down footage of a kids show with a crt filter over it* The Oonglydoomples was a kids show on Nick Jr that ran from 2001 to 2003 that was about Jake Oonglydoomple's adventures in the big city. Only one episode of it has ever surfaced online. We have tried to get into contact with the shows creator, Mark Wankencock, but we've had no luck. Maybe someday, we'll all oonglydoomp once again.

[cryptotheism]

Today I thought about fentanyl so hard that a cop a few blocks away exploded into pure energy

[enderspawn]

i love how humor operates on integer overflow. like if something becomes So Fucking Unfunny it can loop back around to being hilarious purely bc of ironic usage

[enderspawn]

[radiofreederry]

[gilligays]

[thoodleoo]

been reading cicero's rant about words being given obscene meanings and i don't think i've ever seen a latin sentence that made me burst into such immediate and violent laughter before

[thoodleoo]

had a couple people be like "i have no idea what this means" so to clarify: the word penis in latin originally meant tail and only later got the sense of, uh. penis. so this is cicero complaining that nowadays all these hooligans are using the word "penis" for naughty purposes

[starridge]

who are your parasocial enemies, like mine are andrew lloyd webber and butch hartman

[scalded]

all tiktok users

[nayohme]

ISIS

[mintytrifecta]

[liberaleffects]

[katelyn-danger]

[bisexualcharliekelly]

Motivational Mike Monday

[steelycunt]

a man so. so very boobless and assless that you could. you could probably use him as a bookmark even. if you so desired

[femmepathy]

obsessed with the guy sitting next to me on the bus who i caught googling "what is commie dyke" after seeing my buttons