Untitled

Searching.

[awawadad]

typical stoned black and white serious selfie

[awawadad]

Graduation

My final weeks at state school are underway. An entire chapter of my life is ending and I’m not entirely sure how to feel about it. I’ve learned so much in the last three and a half years. Between class lectures and personal experience, I’ve grown as both a scholar and a person. I’m proud of how far I have come in the last few years. 

As eager as I am to turn the page, part of me wants to witness it all again. I want to go back to every moment when I felt uncertain, remind myself of how capable I am and tell myself to stop worrying because everything will turn out right in the end. 

[awawadad]

I just finished a 2000 word essay on mineral formation. 

Blah

[lfhy]

[awawadad]

I cut and dyed my hair today. 

I’m not sure what my hand is doing. 

[awawadad]

Belonging to 6′s

We spent the last 6 nights 

somersaulting in the sheets.

On this damp dark day

you closed your car door,

 blew a kiss, and

drove away from me

for another 6 weeks. 

[awawadad]

Less than twenty four

Less than twenty four hours until I’m in your arms. Its been over a month since I’ve been in an embrace. the lack of Oxytocin is making me bitter, I cannot wait to mold into your contours. 

When we’re together again, finally, I will study every inch of your body and brand it into my hippocampus. That way, the next month and a half left I have without you flies by as fast as these next few days will. 

[awawadad]

Visits

He’s coming to visit in 2 days

I am eager and for some reason terrified. 

It’s been so long since I’ve felt his embrace. 

What if I’m remembering it all wrong? 

[awawadad]

Once the chill of late night

starts to bite,

so does the bitterness.

Lack of oxytocin, 

I wonder when

I’ll feel your touch again.

Late September, liquor 

helps me take detours

and remember your contours. 

Distance is measured in miles.

Time is measured by seconds.

Our love is not quantifiable. 

[awawadad]

‘merica

[awawadad]

Musical Language

These notes, chords,

provide no escape.

I am trapped within

The fret markers.

[awawadad]

September Slumber

Once the cold  starts to bite

so does the bitterness

I’m not sick of us or over this;

I’m tired of the distance. 

I know what we have is worth the fight,

despite all these sleepless nights

wondering if you’re alright

or if you need my assistance. 

[awawadad]

Pen cap to parted lips.

No morphemes or semantics 

in any of this.

[awawadad]

Moments

Ya know that moment when beer

stops tasting like beer? 

Or the moment you realize

you love the taste of beer?

That is the best part of my day.

Not my morning shit, or shower. 

Not my first cup of coffee, 

Not the first cigarette of the day.

No.

My ‘day’ enjoyably starts and ends

 with that first turn of a cap.

The first sounds of carbonation

escaping from a confining can.

My day starts, 

as my mind escapes my body

one sip at a time, 

I’m never entirely sure where it ends up

[awawadad]

DeRpin’ right now

[awawadad]

I am drunk, sad, high, content, nostalgic, and bored all at the same time, 

[awawadad]

Phone calls

It was nice to be stoop kid for awhile.

I sat shoulder to ear, picking at blades of grass.

The sound of your voice like fingertips on stubble. 

We talked for hours, debated and revered the future.

I miss you dearly