there are other women like you out there

Lior ~ adult // just a separate space I'm using to work out some thoughts + opinions

[ayelonit]

Hi, I’m Lior! I’ve been on tumblr for a while, but I needed a space away from my regular blog where I could engage more openly with people who are critical of the trans community, and have the room to form + refine my own thoughts and opinions on general feminist topics without pressure or harassment.

General Info:

My feminism extends to all female people, regardless of whether or not they agree with me. Bisexual, asexual, straight, lesbian, nonbinary or trans-identifying, religious, etc etc etc female people all deserve support, solidarity, safety, and dignity.

I’m undecided on terminology to use when talking about these topics, I’ll generally use whatever is being used by others in the conversation / that I’m talking to (to an extent).

I am thoroughly uninterested in cruelty and dehumanization, no matter how “deserving” you think the target may seem. That is not the same thing as a refusal to hold people accountable for the harm they cause.

I do not tolerate antisemitism, regardless of the target. This includes trans/orthodox/male/Israeli/zionist/etc Jews or any other Jews you may feel “deserve” it.

A bit about me (relevant to these topics / this blog):

I’m an adult living in the US

I am female and I have successfully treated my sex dysphoria with testosterone + surgery, I don’t regret it, but may go off T in the near future for other reasons.

I am autistic and have other mental health/neurodiversity-related issues that affect my communication and relations with others. It may take me a while to respond to things, my tone may be flat/blunt, and I may miss subtext/implications/etc among other things. Please let me know if you need me to clarify something, or if I am misunderstanding you.

I am physically disabled and use a manual wheelchair, this affects how I interact with the world + other people in a pretty major way.

I’m Jewish and observant, so I’ll generally not be online during Shabbat and Jewish holidays. I also work full time, so I might not be online during work hours.

About me (less relevant)

I’m engaged and we have a very sweet little cat

I like learning new things, and I consider it my main hobby. I spend a good amount of time reading the news, uploading various animals to iNaturalist, going to workshops at the library, reading books on various topics, etc.

Some of the topics I’m particularly interested in are antisemitism and Jewish history, as well as how social media / the news / large companies / etc manipulate consumers.

Tag system:

#to read — haven’t read yet, planning to come back to when I have the time

#to watch/listen — same as above but for videos, podcast episodes, etc

#library tag — books/movies/etc. Generally things that I’ll need to try to find at the library or buy in order to access

#bookshelf tag — for things I’ve read/watched/etc that I’d like to be able to find later

#resources/reference — for miscellaneous things I’d like to be able to find later

[virgoanmaenad]

I feel like we should improve disability care infrastructure and safety nets before we condemn people who choose an abortion over raising a child with a detectable disability within the society we have currently.

Like, there’s nothing wrong with getting an abortion for any reason, but I feel like less people would feel the need to if we had better ways of caring for individuals with life-long, high-support needs.

[radbuckett]

Legit feel like it’s the first time I see this opinion on a relatively mainstream account and it actually got me emotional. This is a tremendously good sign, we’re finally getting fucking nuance in the discourse and moving away from vapid identity politics.

[radbuckett]

This is getting better and better

[bushpropaganda]

i really fucking hate the tiktokification of chronic illness and disability. i hate that the term "disabled" is used so flippantly. i hate that being "chronically ill" is so weaponized now because it's treated as a loophole for marginalization. and most importantly, i fucking hate that my best friend is the only friend i can talk to about my disease because everyone else makes it a competition about how they suffer more.

like no sorry, having a chronical illness does not automatically mean you're disabled. sorry, some people do in fact have it worse than you. sorry, your insecurities are not the fault of other chronically ill people. maybe stop justifying your own hurt ego and actually work on your insecurities instead of minimizing everyone else's suffering.

the "chronic illness community" is not a community in any sense of the word. it's a competition between a bunch of insecure people who have dealt with invalidation and would rather seek out the validation they crave at the expense of others instead of taking accountability for their behavior and working on those feelings.

[ayelonit]

I’m not usually one for new year’s resolutions, but I’ve been wanting to read more so I made one this year (it’s actually three in a trenchcoat tho, shhhh)

I’m going to try to read 1 book a month with a female author, 1 book a month that centers women (about a woman, about feminism, fiction with female MCs, etc), and at least 6 nonfiction books this year about women / a woman / feminism. A book can count for multiple categories (ex: an autobiography by a woman counts for all 3).

Figured I’d be more likely to do it if I shared it here 🤷

Anyways I’ve finished January’s already (107 Days by Kamala Harris, meets all 3 categories), so I have a couple days to decide about February. I’ve got a couple checked out from the library, just need to decide which to read first.

[ayelonit]

February’s was Milena and Margarete by Gwen Strauss, met all 3 categories. It’s book about two women who fell in love in a concentration camp, fascinating read. I finished pretty quickly in the beginning of February and tbh kinda forgot about this whole goal until it was suddenly March 😅.

[ayelonit]

Read a couple books in March! They’re all nonfiction by + about Iranian women.

For the Sun After Long Nights by Fatemeh Jamalpour and Nilo Tabrizy

Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi

White Torture by Narges Mohammadi

[ayelonit]

Only read one in April because I was taking a bunch of notes on it!

They Didn’t See Us Coming: The Hidden History of Feminism in the Nineties by Lisa Levenstein

[ayelonit]

For May:

The Feminist Revolution: The Struggle for Women’s Liberation by Bonnie J. Morris and D-M Withers

I’m considering working my way through a 2k+ page book / collection of essays soon. Unfortunately it is written by a man and isn’t about women, so if I read it I’ll need to read another book at the same time in order to meet my goals 😖

[laysplaining]

heyyy if you enjoy my writing/videos/activism...

i'm on unpaid medical leave rn due to severe pain in both wrists -- definitely icing them after typing this 💀 -- and as a wheelchair user who now can't even do a job from home since most require typing, i'm kind of screwed. i'm stuck with very little $$ for food, bills, etc.

so if you ever want to support me pls consider giving me a little ko-fi to get through this rough patch!! i can give audio essays/bunny pics!

Support Miss Nuancefem

Support Miss Nuancefem

[loveridden1999]

“bi women bringing their cis-” bi women can do whatever they want shut up

[emtmercy]

I understand all the ways Pap smears can suck but I do get so nervous when ppl w vaginas start telling each other how evil and horrific they are bc you need to get them like my moms alive bc of getting them yearly

Like they can suck but it’s ok!!! My first one was before I’d ever done anything w my actual vaginal canal so it didn’t go well so I get that they can go poorly but there are lots of ways they can change the experience to help you

Like when I wasn’t as used to it they would use the baby speculum for me and that made it very doable

And now I do regular size but I get the plastic one because it feels better

[peaking-bug]

happy pride month to fellow bisexuals in particular! we are wonderful just as we are, no matter what relationship choices we make, what preferences we [don't] have, or how long we have known our sexuality. we are allowed to just be bi, however that looks for us. we belong in our communities, and we don't owe anyone shit! i love you, bisexuals 🩷💜💙

[kitchenalia]

occasionally, we all need to do some internal reality checks. step back from ideals and activism for a few minutes to actually see and understand the women in the world – the housewives who will never leave their husbands, the lesbians who don’t have a single activist bone in their bodies, the women who can’t understand the point of separatism, the women who swear that they’re happy doing what they do, the old women who spent their entire lives with a man and are therefore too boring for you, the women who never want to work a job, the women who will never have time for activism because they do nothing but work a job, the women who are “stuck in their ways,” the women who have distanced and isolated themselves from any of the other women in their lives…

the world isn’t made up of ideologically pure women or noble, flawless victims of the patriarchy who are damaged but do no damage themselves. the world isn’t split into good, interesting, politically active women & bad women who you can ignore (unless you feel like making fun of them). the world is primarily composed of women who do not already agree with you. and they’re still worthwhile women who deserve to be liberated as much as the ones who do agree with you.

[iwanttolisten]

The biggest problem transfeminism causes is the idea that a man can immediately become more oppressed than all women by rejecting the male social role. This is not how oppression has worked for anything ever in the history of the Universe

[bironmaidens]

So here for my not conventionally attractive bi women, my just a little odd bi women, my jacked as fuck bi women, my bi women with acne who don’t care to cover it, my bi women who are manual labourers with rough hands from work they love and a life lived, my bi women who are true to themselves and their personalities even if it means it’s harder to date men, my bi women who can’t relate to the TV trope that bi women are all feminine and cute and basically like pretty straight girls who occasionally kiss women you’re all fucking stars and I love you

[unrespectability]

women you know what we need we need book clubs study groups and discussion circles. we are all very based and hot with our big brains and intellectual pursuits and reading of dense and profound literature but if we do not digest that material together and communally and through conversation we will lose it all we will lose the sharpness of our analysis. we need to deepen the definition of every seminal text we touch through proactive collaborative engagement or it will fade and soften into a vague impression instead of a vivid connective pulse that spurs us to thought conversation and action. we need to KNOW and FEEL and SAY what we and other women take away from the same texts we continuously reference!!! i suggest we start with Intercourse

[stuckinapril]

Guys I literally hate to be the one preaching exercise I wish I could be all #itsfine and #itsoktobesedentary but how on earth does physical exercise literally improve everything in life

[theambitiouswoman]

Exercise boosts BDNF which strengths neural pathways so you think more clearly, focus better and regulate your emotions. It burns off stress hormones pulling you out of survival mode and helping you make calmer, wiser decisions. Your mood rises thanks to dopamine, serotonin and endorphins. It also reshapes your identity into someone disciplined and capable, which then influences your habits, boundaries etc. You get more energy from better sleep, hormones and metabolism and as you become more grounded and self aware, you naturally attract people who match that level

Being sedentary ages your brain. BDNF decreases, your neural pathways weaken. Your memory dulls, your focus shrinks, your stress tolerance lowers and your mood become unstable. Movement literally keeps your brain youthful and sharp. Even a daily walk slows cognitive aging and boosts the chemicals that protect your mind

Stay active :)

[detrans-lesbian]

many radfem leaning spaces like to claim to be friendly to detransitioners but then turn around and mock tifs with so much vitriol that it really doesn't feel that way

[kittyit]

[4979537032-deactivated20220629]

you literally can’t explain to these people that the average american woman is poor. the average american white woman is poor. that most women who live in “middle class” households do so in name only, they cannot afford to leave their job for days or weeks, afford childcare, travel and accommodation to go get an abortion in a different state or country. they are so blinded by their hatred of women that they cannot see reason. they are laughing at women’s suffering :)

[cheesyradfem]

US Women:

are 50.8% percent of the population

but 56% percent of the poor

and 80.5% percent of single parents

with 31% of unmarried mothers living in poverty

make up 46.8% of the work force

are nearly twice as likely as men to work part-time

but earn only 82 cents for every $1 earned by men

and hold 2/3 of the U.S. student loan debt

as well as earning more bachelor’s, master’s, and doctoral degrees than men

despite female college graduates making only 74% of what male graduates make

women with masters degrees earn less than men with bachelors degrees

there is not a state in the union where more men live below the poverty line than women