Azah's Clone Tonk @azahnahza - Tumblr Blog

|| I did this little looping Gumi animation for a preview of a song my girlfriend is workin on !! [ Which you can go look at here youtu.be/beOT4ixjhG4 :] ]

druidquest

brainwashing isnt real dumbass. material circumstance has led me to dress in bondage gear and attack you with evil shadow powers

druidquest

yes i know good and evil are subjective the demon queen says i have to call them that. she wont bounce on it if i dont

wizard-loving-wizard

Crowen Wilson x

samreich

tnarg dnif ot sdnoces net evah uoy ,dneirf ih

mygiorni

Miku

amvs

genuinely they have probably saved people.

amvs

they HAVE saved people actually i’m 100% sure of that. i’ve learned about so many recalls i would’ve had no idea about otherwise !!!! from the bottom of all of our hearts thank you mamoru

mamoru

aw shucks, thank YOU! what a pick me up!

when I was younger, I got food poisoning. I was supposed to recover from it, but I wound up with a bunch of nasty medical conditions instead. I never imagined I would become disabled from food.

so I am really glad I have been able to help spread the word every now and then about food safety and recalls, since it hopefully means a few less people going through what I have.

while I have your attention, I do not post every recall, even just for the US, so here are a few of the links I use!

recalls.gov/recent.html <- aggregate of official government recall links for the US! food, drugs, products, child safety seats, motor vehicles, and tires! (half the feeds are broken half the time, but hey, it works™! check the FDA enforcement reports for a more complete list of recalls, especially drug recalls!)

recalls for canada <- recalls for canada!

RASFF <- food recalls and safety alerts for the EU!

food safety news <- news about food safety in the US, canada, and around the world!

I was poisoned <- see where people have gotten food poisoning near you, and report your own! (worldwide!)

thanks for reading, stay safe and take care!

basic-banshee

I keep using my girlfriend with unusual work hours to get out of coworker interactions and happy hours and hanging out.

But now the company holiday party is upon us.

And I’ve been lying about the girlfriend.

I suddenly really empathise with the characters in Hallmark Christmas movies.

basic-banshee

I like that people have two reactions to this post.

Reasonable: “just say she couldn’t make it!”

Chaotic: FAKE DATING AU

Well, which one is it going to be?

basic-banshee

And so it begins

having the DMV area Craigslist bookmarked has never come in handy before but now

basic-banshee

Update, Craigslist has flagged my post as inappropriate.

basic-banshee

Apparently you can’t solicit a date as a “gig”

I now see my mistake

basic-banshee

Update: a date has been acquired. This is true lesbian solidarity in action.

justluckyiguess

My wife has now read this and wonders how baby gays are even meeting and mating

basic-banshee

Can confirm I am meeting and mating just fine 😂

basic-banshee

By the way I’m in a relationship with this woman now

cooliopumpkin

basic-banshee

This is the feedback I’ve been looking for

charlesoberonn

world heritage post

1/22/2022

I'm dead 💀

Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk

“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”

kaity--did

Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?

Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby

Husband: RIVETING!

kaity--did

Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️

Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!

kaity--did

Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk

All of tumblr collectively at my husband:

kaity--did

Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream

Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!

Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued

Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.

kaity--did

THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND

yes he just walks around the house and talks to her like this

kaity--did

Penny Rose: Cooing as twinkle twinkle little star plays

Husband: Now Penny there is a lot of misinformation out there in the world and I hate to tell you this but the moon is in fact not made of cheese. That is a conspiracy theory pushed by Big Dairy.

????

kaity--did

Husband: Holds Penny Rose up to her reflection in the microwave

Husband: you see Penny Rose! This was the M. Night Shyamalan twist! You were mirror baby all along!

kaity--did

FYI this is how you get a Deals Warlock if you were wondering

justplainsalty

I have follow up questions:

1) Did you participate in baby talk to make up for your husband's deficit, or did you also opt to speak to the Deals Warlock like a very tiny adult from babyhood?

1a) If you participated in baby talk with Penny, did she ever do any code switching with you while she was learning to talk (I mean, babyish talk back to you but fully formed adult like you share with us to Lawyer Dad)?

kaity--did

I didn't baby talk with her very much either! I think I squealed at her more than my husband did.

Something funny that has happened is that while she formally calls me Mama when she's answering me in passing she does call me "My Darling Love" and I don't know for sure but I think it's because I call her and her father "my loves" and her father calls me and her "darlings" and she's created a mash up 😂

So I'll say "okay penny it's time for bed" and I'll just hear "okay my darling love!" 😂

kaity--did

Everyone is always so so kind on this post but I do want to warn you all that this did in fact lead to an insanely verbal child, and if you choose that life you have to commit to that life.

Penny Rose is now 5 years old and she

1. Starts talking the moment she opens her eyes to the moment she passes out at night

2. Asks, and I am not exaggerating I counted, an average of 892 questions a day

3. Does not accept "I don't know" as an answer to said questions, will usually have a follow up question as to why you don't know OR a suggestion on how we can find out together

I pay for limitless data and have 709 Google tabs open on my phone at all times

mentalhealthnut

1) My dad was also like this with me. Best example - reading a manual for a washing machine to me as an infant. Didn't turn into a Deals Warlock, but I did become a writer, so make of that what you will.

2) If you are the type of person who counts how many questions your child asks you in a day, and didn't give up after like ten of 'em, *and* potentially did so more than once (you said she "averages" at 892, meaning you might have gotten your data from at least two days)... then I think she is Like That because of both sides of her family, actually

kaity--did

sea-salted-wolverine

Hey. Heyhey. Do me a favor real quick.

If you don't already know you have issues doing so, squat down real quick. Bend your knees all the way and touch the floor. Just make sure you can do it. Okay? For me? And then stand up all the way and make sure you can balance on one foot.

Like. You don't need to blow it into some huge thing. Just. Make sure all your bits and peices still work the way you think they do.

sea-salted-wolverine

Can you turn your head to look behind you without twisting your shoulders? What about standing on your toes? If you sit down on the floor can you get back up without using your hands?

If there was ever a tumblr post worth sending to your mom, it's this one.

Just saying, bodies are a use it or lose it kinda thing.

sea-salted-wolverine

okay so every time I see this post crop back up in queues and notifications I end up thinking about it. Because I made the post and even I'm still doing the thing where I read the post about maintaining range of motion in my delicate meatsuit and I nod and hmm and think yeah that's a good idea and then dont move from where I'm curled up shrimp style staring at the nightmare rectangle.

So like. Thinking real hard about moving doesn't count as moving. Major bummer. Anyways. Joints.

muffinlance

If your answer to any of those was "no", I cannot emphasize enough that this isn't just "bummer, guess it's gone forever". You can get that mobility back, it is actually very achievable with the right modifications for your level!

This is the very simple "starting from zero muscles" program I followed, highly recommend it or something similar:

Explore our hybrid calisthenics programs to build strength, muscle, and help lose fat with adaptable routines for all fitness levels. Achiev

@hybridcalisthenics

etiennelux

reading a negative review of something you love written by a person who very clearly didn’t understand it at all

t-valentines

reading a positive review of something you love written by a person who very clearly didn’t understand it at all

jabberwockypie

Reading a negative review of something you hate by someone who very clearly didn't understand it at all and hates it for the wrong reasons

shed-n-shine

Why this got me boppin at my desk tho lol

nanaluvbug

i saw this video and had to draw her check out afrococoapuffs, she’s amazing!

sanguine-humor

phm is decently popular in japan and i mostly see this when i check twitter and see accounts posting pictures of handmade rocky plushies that are so fucking round looking it brings a tear to my eye

sanguine-humor

he keeps me sane

sanguine-humor

btw, idk if this will be seen by any of the countless people who already have seen and reblogged this post, but heres the original guide posted on how to make the chibi-rocky! the OP also has a separate guide for a more accurate rocky, though obviously less simple of a guide than the little thingy shown off

(im surprised this post gained any attention, haha, if i had known i would have just shared the guides, the more handmade pebbles in the world the better)