Azura's Random Thoughts

She/Her, Dungeons and Dragons enjoyer, Frieren brainrotter, Brandon Sanderson lover. I also love Welcome to Nightvale and cats!!

[psych-is-the-name]

[zealotarchaeologist]

i stepped on the scale today and it said “bat”

it took me a few seconds to realize it meant the battery was out, but before i realized that i just said “i am not a bat” out loud

[mousegirlheart]

[electricpurrs]

[gumi-megpoidd]

brat x brat yuri where theyre both just annoying and nothing actually happens

[gumi-megpoidd]

this is really funny

[lesbomancers]

whoever those two are they should kiss

[stardial]

that’s weird. why would you say that. i don’t know you

[lakevida]

everyone seems to be doing quite well

[zenmasterx]

@azura-aurorae

[lakevida]

everyone seems to be doing quite well

[zenmasterx]

@azura-aurorae

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

getting followed by porn bots is weird and that’s coming from a guy with multiple 🥵 concubines

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

this is really resonating with the subjects

[qin-shi-huang-di]

step aside you old cut-sleeve, i shall court these maidens!

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

I’m an emperor actually @chasingtheskyline

[qin-shi-huang-di]

the marquis of homo WISHES he had a fraction of my imperial glory!

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

right so i’m one of the most well regarded emperors in the history of china and you’re the guy who had to put “shut up about the mercury” in his bio

[qin-shi-huang-di]

I AM NOT OWNED! I AM NOT OWNED!!!

I AM A GLORIOUS EMPEROR, I CAN EARN THE LOVE OF MY CITIZENS!

I AM A GLORIOUS EMPEROR, I CAN ADEQUATELY PREPARE MY SUCCESSOR!

I AM A GLORIOUS EMPEROR, I CAN ESTABLISH A STABLE DYNASTY!

[diet-poison]

the Terracotta Army guy?

[qin-shi-huang-di]

🙄 you build ONE funerary complex with 8000 life-sized statues of soldiers, horses and generals and suddenly you’re “the terracotta army guy.” 🙄 execution.

[slimlimit]

Stumbling across this makes me feel like a dad whos walked into their kids room beer in hand and seeing them roleplay starwars fights i do not belong here but god its entertaining

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

to be clear in this scenario im the jedi and im winning

[zenmasterx]

@azura-aurorae

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[snowown]

[caats]

[scarabesque-returns-deactivated]

[sabojude]

[allloversbetray]

Written on the Body by Jeanette Winterson // Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn // Musica Humana by Ilya Kaminsky // Basic August by Eileen Myles // Imitations of Drowning by Anne Sexton // Will You Please Be Quiet, Please? by Raymond Carver // The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner // Atmospheric Embroidery by Meena Alexander // The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath by Sylvia Plath // The Women by Kim Addonizio // 

[zenmasterx]

@azura-aurorae

[owainbradys]

Good morning, everyone

[ajga-artz]

My friend and I are very happy with our POV pick

[wheeloffortune-design]

CONTROVERSIAL OPINION ABOUT BISEXUALITY

that purple in the middle is not the right saturation, it doesn't fit with the other two colors and it drives me crazy.

[deus-ex-aquila]

all right, I think I got this, I've got dual citizenship and I have another flag we can borrow from:

step 1

step 2

step 3

[varangianviper]

[wheeloffortune-design]

This is true bi/ace solidarity.

[xthehatchick]

holy shit

[finnslay]

This is the only correct way

[transarsonist]

[Patchnotes]

swapped purple in bisexual and asexual flags for better saturation matching and color theory

[grimelords]

don't bring anything to a knife fight

don’t even go everyone there has knives

[colemckenzies]

you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it

example: you absolute coat hanger

[ggiornojo]

as well u can just add ‘ed’ to any object and it’s sounds like you were really drunk

example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night

[colemckenzies]

#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled

[animatedamerican]

Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).

[nentuaby]

Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.

[animatedamerican]

… huh.  I thought that might just be the similarity to “floored”, and yet “I was utterly coat hangered” does seem to convey something similar.

I have to tell you, I am utterly sandwiched at this discovery.

[thepioden]

Completely makes the phrase mean “super tired”.

“God, it’s been a long week, I am completely coat-hangered.”

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Something is

Something is wrong with our language

[rooksandravens]

Is it a glitch or a feature?

[cranberrybogmummy]

Feature

[insomniac-arrest]

I think we should figure out what age we’re living in now so we can say how it’s collapsing to each other

[insomniac-arrest]

Our age of plastics is collapsing

[insomniac-arrest]

Our age of information is collapsing! *remembers generative AI, nods to self* our age of information is collapsing.

[zenmasterx]

@azura-aurorae

[redrook]

England is a place

[beemovieerotica]

my spouse keeps trying to rationally explain why they clicked on the article for "cunt" but I literally watched them last night peering at their laptop with a look of quizzical bemusement and they said aloud "What is 'cunt'?" followed by a long pause and then "Oh my..."

[dragons-locator]

Gropecunt Lane (/ˈɡroʊpkʌnt/) was a street name found in English towns and cities during the Middle Ages, believed to be a reference to the prostitution centred on those areas; it was normal practice for a medieval street name to reflect the street's function or the economic activity taking place within it.

drAgons

DRAGONS LOCATED

[inthefallofasparrow]

[zenmasterx]

@azura-aurorae