my shit post blog

I love bagels and pickles, in that order

[babysloth3]

Concerts at night

Why do artists make their concerts at night?

I’m asking this question as an autistic person who is maxed out with exhaustion by like 5pm and likes to have all of their activities done in the day so they can get it over and done with and relax…

(polite and genuine explanations are very much appreciated)

Do artists do their concerts late because they prefer it? Is it because most people have work/school and are only free at night?

If that’s the case, why not have more weekend daytime concerts?

I’m always surprised that people would want to do an exhausting event at the end of the day after all of their tiring daytime activities like work/school.

[babysloth3]

Adhd and Friendships

*for context, I am neurodivergent myself. I am not shitting on people with adhd, just trying to have more of an understanding because I often don’t understand social rules and dynamics (friendly explanations are very much appreciated)

My friends with adhd aren’t great at communicating. They interrupt me when THEY have asked questions. They just forget I exist and go decades without talking to me. They say that it’s because of object permenance, because of their adhd, out of sight out of mind mentality et cetera, and I understand this…but whats next?

What do people with adhd do in their friendships to work on this, to avoid this, et cetera?

Tiktok after tiktok will come up on my foryou page with adhd folks ranting about how they are a bad friend because of their adhd, that they just forget about their friends when they arent around…

so whats next? Do you just acknowledge you are not good at communicating but thats it? Is there nothing done afterwards to try and work on amending that?

Throughout my life I have been told that my autism isn't an excuse to be rude or hurt peoples feelings.

That is true. It might be the reason why I have done something socially abnormal that offended someone, but it isn’t an excuse.

I’m curious why when folks when adhd just state all the reasons why they are being a very poor friend, its not seen as an issue?

My autistic brain is wondering if they are thinking that it's fine to be rude because you cant help having adhd?

If you realise you are a bad friend, you can’t just continue being a bad friend and hurting peoples feelings because you can’t help it.

I would love some people’s thoughts on this because I would really love to understand this. Please keep the comment section polite and respectful :)

[babysloth3]

ever notice that when you go to put on socks all of a sudden it’s like you become this person who’s trying to balance while being shaken vigorously, your foot is being hacked off and there’s an earthquake happening?

like why is it always like that when you just trying to stay upright putting socks on?

[babysloth3]

any autistic people know how to avoid meltdowns or are they just like always inevitable? I always feel like they are. Whenever something happens/someone does something that upsets me and I am forced to keep quiet, bottle it up, basically not deal with it and talk through it, that is just like a meltdown waiting to happen because I wasn’t allowed to process it in the way I should.

I’d really appreciate thoughts or just someone who gets it because this is so difficult knowing i am just waiting around for the meltdown because the person made me shut up and wouldn’t talk about it

[babysloth3]

can people who have done/ are doing NaNoWriMo tell me…what counts in the word counting…like if I write the blurb or rewrite something does that not count? Is it only words that haven’t been written down? Because technically someone could rewrite one chapter a bunch of times until they’ve “written 50,000” but also a lot of people are in the rewrite stage of their novel like me where they are going in for their second draft

[babysloth3]

can someone please explain to me why Ginny from Ginny and Georgia is so rude to her mom? like I can’t even come up with a single reason for why she is so ungrateful. Her mom plans this huge surprise that was incredibly thoughtful with her friends and no doubt crazy expensive and she does nothing but gives her an obnoxious look. I’m not saying Georgia is at all perfect but Ginny needs a reality check because she’s getting everything she wants and doesn’t care. It’s not even like an entertaining character to watch it’s just pissing me off watching Georgia do another kind thing for her daughter and her daughter basically shits all over it:(

[babysloth3]

Can someone please explain to me why Coraline is so many peoples comfort movie? Because I don’t understand how people are comforted by a cat who knows too much, a guy with his mouth sewn shut, and someone who looks like your mother but is fake who wants to sew buttons in your eyes.

[babysloth3]

something I find so amusing is to see how someone will predict what the future is going to be like, for example a movie that comes out in the year 2001 that’s about droids taking over the planet in the year 2020 because they actually thought that that’s what the future would be like? idk how else to explain it but it’s just funny

[babysloth3]

can autistic people, nd’s, anyone with sensory issues please tell me what you do when you are overstimulated getting dressed and you don’t have a set of clothes that are like “safe clothes”. I get so horribly overstimulated and I go online to see what other people do and they say “I change into non stimulating clothes, I change into safe clothes, I bring these soft clothes with me as an alternative”

BUT WHAT IF YOU DONT HAVE THAT????

When I get overstimulated, EVERYTHING feels uncomfortable. Even the sensory friendly clothes I buy so I feel like I’m just a huge hopeless case at this point so if anyone just has some advice that would really help

[babysloth3]

in summer it’s a little easier because I can just pick like one dress and that’s it but it gets really challenging when it’s cold because I have to layer. I can’t just wear a short or long sleeve because the weather is highly unpredictable where I live so I have to pick like 5 things and I swear my needs always change like one day my “safe” shirt just isn’t safe anymore and nothing ever stays comfortable :((( thank you for the advice it all helps!

[babysloth3]

idk how to say this in a way that doesn’t sound dickish because I don’t mean it that way at all but have you ever had someone you really like go for someone who is positively boring and has nothing going for them except their looks and you realise that they just showed you where their priorities were ?

like you’ll watch the coolest person get rejected by their crush because the guy wanted a girl who was a huge asshole but had a nice face.

are there actually just people out there who are attracted to looks only and it doesn’t matter if they have the WORST personality ?????

[babysloth3]

can autistic people, nd’s, anyone with sensory issues please tell me what you do when you are overstimulated getting dressed and you don’t have a set of clothes that are like “safe clothes”. I get so horribly overstimulated and I go online to see what other people do and they say “I change into non stimulating clothes, I change into safe clothes, I bring these soft clothes with me as an alternative”

BUT WHAT IF YOU DONT HAVE THAT????

When I get overstimulated, EVERYTHING feels uncomfortable. Even the sensory friendly clothes I buy so I feel like I’m just a huge hopeless case at this point so if anyone just has some advice that would really help

[babysloth3]

when he is horrible and not even cool and you deserve so much better, yet your heart has sucker punched your brain and said “that’s the one. we have to have him”

[babysloth3]

if you are autistic please read this because I am so curious if anyone else has an experience like this!!!

has any one else ever gotten in trouble for being too flirty or seemingly flirty because in reality you were just heavily masking but because that includes making the perfect eye contact, constantly smiling so you seem interested, and just laughing and nodding like they are the most thought provoking person in the world, and so neurotypical people would think you were flirting because they didn’t know you were STRAINING just to appear socially normal.

this was me my entire life and it seemed to annoy people.

there was this one girl at camp, and she asked me if I liked this boy because she was interested. I said no of course not, go for it! and it was confusing too that she asked because I didn’t realise what vibe I was giving off that made it seem like I liked him. We had just talked and laughed and become buddies.

I remember after they got together it seemed like she was getting really mad at me, and I got the feeling that whenever I interacted with him she thought I was flirting, because I was heavily masking.

Also side note, I wasn’t diagnosed at the time so I didn’t even know what masking was and therefore it wasn’t just something I could stop.

I felt so confused and also uncomfortable because it seemed like I had done something horrible just by being nice

and I started second guessing myself any time I was polite to anyone wondering even more intensely if I was doing something wrong

[bilightningwriter]

Oh I got that all the time, especially in high school.

Like, one time I was partnered with a kid and he made a joke that just spiraled into us laughing and making tangent jokes. From that day forward, a few of my friends were convinced I had a crush on him and didn't stop pestering me till I got convinced of their views (because what did I know: aka back when I didn't know I was ace or trans). The guy was just funny and we barely interacted before that and barely afterward as well, except for a few awkward situations I was forced into to "get us together."

Idk if it's an autistic thing necessarily, but I don't think it helps that social cues are differently perceived by different neurotypes. All I know is there was a study done ages ago where they had people observing conversations and told to say who was flirting and who wasn't. The results were so skewed that I think it was something like 50-50 across the board of being right or wrong. Basically kind of "proved" that flirting can't be truly observed.

Unless you're intentionally flirting, others saying that you're flirting doesn't really matter because they should just accept that you know your intents, doesn't matter how they perceive it.

Partially rambling and audhd myself, so hopefully my jumble makes sense?

[a-birdhorse]

I never had this exact experience, but one time in high school I asked my drama teacher what flirting was and she just said "you know what flirting is you do it all the time" and I simply remained in the dark as to how people are supposed to flirt. I really just hope my uncontrolled flirting didn't end up hurting anyone's feelings.

[babysloth3]

@a-birdhorse I had someone say that to me before. I can slightly understand why people think it’s flirting because (at least for me) masking involves a lot of smiling, and making eye contact, and kind of just forcing myself to make it seem like I am very interested in the interaction and I guess if you like someone you do that too? but people should be doing that with everyone.

Being polite and a good listener are traits that you should have with friends, teachers, family etc.

I had a friend laugh at me and say that I had a crush on this guy because I shook his hand and said it was nice to meet you 🥲🥲🥲🥲

[a-birdhorse]

@babysloth3 I get that! I also just act that way around people who I’m happy to see regardless of whether I’m interested in them. It’s how I show that I care about what they’re saying even if it isn’t relevant to me.

I dunno, the way people talk about flirting it always seemed like there was some kind of series of steps you both took in order for it to become flirting, and I just didn’t know what those were. Knowing what I do now as an adult, that seems like it’s pretty unlikely, but back then I was kinda desperate to know what other people thought of me and believed that if I could learn that arcane secret I would suddenly have access to a new way of gathering that information.

I think flirting involves jokes too? I tell a lot of jokes. But if I stop telling jokes I’ll get bored, so I’m keeping the jokes for sure.

Also your friend sounds weird. Imagine a world where every handshake was an admission of deeper feelings. The business world would be awash with the tension of unresolved romance. Powerful.

[babysloth3]

that is hilarious, just every business meeting was a communal confession of attraction. But in terms of the flirting, I know that everyone’s flirting style is different like some people make it obvious that they are attracted to someone by telling them flat out, other people don’t, so if someone asked me to explain what flirting looks like I wouldn’t even know what to say, because technically yes, body language, good eye contact, etc, they do play a part in it…so I guess does that mean that unless the person makes it painstakingly obvious that they are attracted to you it just isn’t flirting??? So confusing ://

[babysloth3]

can someone please tell me if there is a way to switch accounts when commenting on posts!! it’s so awkward when I’m having a conversation on re blogs and suddenly you see some other account just chiming in at random because that’s my other account

if anyone sees me reply as @inmy70schaos it’s still me and my introverted anxious self is embarrassed and wants to crawl in a hole now

[babysloth3]

as a member of gen z on social media:

gen z on social media really scare me, because they are either commenting on someone’s TikTok being incessantly kind like OMG I WANT TO BE YOU, GOD HAS FAVOURITES

or they are just terrifying brutal like GO KYS YOU ARE SO EMBARRASSING AND UGLY AND FUCK YOU

and there is no in between

[theunintentionallyinsensitiveone]

*coughs coughs* there is.

"kindly fuck OFF—"

[babysloth3]

please if you may…run into oncoming traffic

[theunintentionallyinsensitiveone]

"would you be a dear and please jump off the fourth floor?" don't ask why, but i've heard my younger sister's friend say that before–

[babysloth3]

I remember watching this comedian who also taught like 8th or 9th grade and she said “gen z is interesting, because they’ll respect your pronouns but not you as a person” and if that isn’t the most accurate thing I’ve ever heard

[babysloth3]

as a member of gen z on social media:

gen z on social media really scare me, because they are either commenting on someone’s TikTok being incessantly kind like OMG I WANT TO BE YOU, GOD HAS FAVOURITES

or they are just terrifying brutal like GO KYS YOU ARE SO EMBARRASSING AND UGLY AND FUCK YOU

and there is no in between

[theunintentionallyinsensitiveone]

*coughs coughs* there is.

"kindly fuck OFF—"

[babysloth3]

please if you may…run into oncoming traffic

[babysloth3]

if you are autistic please read this because I am so curious if anyone else has an experience like this!!!

has any one else ever gotten in trouble for being too flirty or seemingly flirty because in reality you were just heavily masking but because that includes making the perfect eye contact, constantly smiling so you seem interested, and just laughing and nodding like they are the most thought provoking person in the world, and so neurotypical people would think you were flirting because they didn’t know you were STRAINING just to appear socially normal.

this was me my entire life and it seemed to annoy people.

there was this one girl at camp, and she asked me if I liked this boy because she was interested. I said no of course not, go for it! and it was confusing too that she asked because I didn’t realise what vibe I was giving off that made it seem like I liked him. We had just talked and laughed and become buddies.

I remember after they got together it seemed like she was getting really mad at me, and I got the feeling that whenever I interacted with him she thought I was flirting, because I was heavily masking.

Also side note, I wasn’t diagnosed at the time so I didn’t even know what masking was and therefore it wasn’t just something I could stop.

I felt so confused and also uncomfortable because it seemed like I had done something horrible just by being nice

and I started second guessing myself any time I was polite to anyone wondering even more intensely if I was doing something wrong

[bilightningwriter]

Oh I got that all the time, especially in high school.

Like, one time I was partnered with a kid and he made a joke that just spiraled into us laughing and making tangent jokes. From that day forward, a few of my friends were convinced I had a crush on him and didn't stop pestering me till I got convinced of their views (because what did I know: aka back when I didn't know I was ace or trans). The guy was just funny and we barely interacted before that and barely afterward as well, except for a few awkward situations I was forced into to "get us together."

Idk if it's an autistic thing necessarily, but I don't think it helps that social cues are differently perceived by different neurotypes. All I know is there was a study done ages ago where they had people observing conversations and told to say who was flirting and who wasn't. The results were so skewed that I think it was something like 50-50 across the board of being right or wrong. Basically kind of "proved" that flirting can't be truly observed.

Unless you're intentionally flirting, others saying that you're flirting doesn't really matter because they should just accept that you know your intents, doesn't matter how they perceive it.

Partially rambling and audhd myself, so hopefully my jumble makes sense?

[a-birdhorse]

I never had this exact experience, but one time in high school I asked my drama teacher what flirting was and she just said "you know what flirting is you do it all the time" and I simply remained in the dark as to how people are supposed to flirt. I really just hope my uncontrolled flirting didn't end up hurting anyone's feelings.

[babysloth3]

@a-birdhorse I had someone say that to me before. I can slightly understand why people think it’s flirting because (at least for me) masking involves a lot of smiling, and making eye contact, and kind of just forcing myself to make it seem like I am very interested in the interaction and I guess if you like someone you do that too? but people should be doing that with everyone.

Being polite and a good listener are traits that you should have with friends, teachers, family etc.

I had a friend laugh at me and say that I had a crush on this guy because I shook his hand and said it was nice to meet you 🥲🥲🥲🥲