50% bird, 0% horse

the other 50% is probably carbon or something like that. they/them

[bowsersex]

Somebody in a Twitch stream chat was trying to insult a streamer by saying, "You're almost 40, and you've only gotten a tarot card reading once?" And I don't know, I'm still amused by this. I'm in my late 20s and I've also only had a tarot card reading once. One of those ones on the street you pay for. The guy doing my tarot card reading was like, "You're going to join the military," or something like that, and 15 year old me thought to myself, "Okay, well that's not true. So I guess I just got scammed," and then I just never got a tarot card reading since then.

[bowsersex]

Military recruiter who pretends to be a tarot card reader so he can tell every person who gets their future read by him and they'll be joining the military in the future.

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

(military recruiter tarot card reader in august of 2001) *draws The Tower* *draws a second The Tower* now that's not supposed to happen

[mousegirlheart]

Visit Original Link

[hellspawnmotel]

whatever *tezuka-styles your deltarune cast*

[eightfifteen]

Crazy how many people want characters in fiction to speak and act like they’ve had 20 hours of intensive therapy. Could NOT be me I want these bitches fucked up insane

[plutojester]

[doingthewritethings]

my friend briar and i lovingly call this one ‘therapy speak joker’ and it almost caused her to drop biological samples one time

[dizzyghoast]

i think the joker should start talking like this for real. no other character should do this only the joker. i want batman to have to deal with this

[teaboot]

Would you be comfortable with me sharing the story of how I got these scars

[fair-itself]

That would have been an incredible episode of Batman: The Animated Series, though. Joker gets out of Arkham, having convinced the psychs he's rehabilitated by speaking in fluent Therapy. Bats spends the entire episode losing his mind, because he KNOWS it's an act because NO ONE TALKS LIKE THAT and Joker reacts with total calm and understanding when he finds Batman in his pantry at 2AM. "You're violating a boundary right now, but I realize this behavior is caused by a history of trauma. Can we talk about how your inability to trust negatively affects those around you?" Meanwhile steam is just coming out of Batman's ears

[seriousfic]

Are you in the right headspace to receive information on you potentially being overserious?

[wizardpostsdotorg]

the bi in bisexual isnt about genders its about 1. the sex im going to have with your mom and 2. the sex im going to have with your dad

[actualized-animal]

tbh it’s a red flag that the inventor of chiropractic got the idea from a ghost. bones are like the #1 thing ghosts don’t have

[no--net]

gay people cant say I love you. Its always gotta be

[cryptotheism]

You know how you can't get investor capital without slapping some [Powered by AI] sticker on the white paper? For 1515, that was "going to the new world to look for gold"

Doesn't matter if you found gold or not. If you got back from the new world, you had to tell everyone it was lousy with gold. You shipwrecked off the coast of northern Canada looking for the northwest passage? There was gold there.

[cryptotheism]

Caravel Navigator voice: "By 1585, it's likely that 80% of peasants will work on the treasure ships."

[mikkeneko]

[dykethang]

big if true tbh

[paradoxgavel]

looking it up, apparently this was an artist who made signs like this to parody the actual city council's signage, just told apart by his logo in the corner, "christchurch city confusion", and they had locals rly confused for a bit. my favorite is this one!

[aquilacalvitium]

@ominous-signs

[benzohoarder]

[figural]

#google translate does not capture the tone switch so i have to say. first two sentences are like. normal maybe kind of feminine posting tone #& the last is like. shounen manga protagonist. action movie hero. jojo's bizarre adventure character. #the tone you would use if you were holding a gun with the safety off (– @chadlesbianjasontodd)

[minothtime]

Basically, a translation could be:

I just think it's so interesting that people end up falling in love with their friends' boyfriends! I absolutely despise every single one of them. give me my fucking homie back you goddamn bastard

[liminalweirdo]

translation tags by @minothtime because they are so so good

[so1987-deactivated20230102]

who’s gonna tell tumblr that executive dysfunction is more than Not Doing Things?

[so1987-deactivated20230102]

okay

these are the executive functions. impairment of these functions is executive dysfunction

[dailypattondoodles]

Oh.

OH

[lurlur]

Girl, help. None of my executives are functioning

[a-birdhorse]

Call me a modern American corporation because my executives do nothing and make me feel bad

[so1987-deactivated20230102]

who’s gonna tell tumblr that executive dysfunction is more than Not Doing Things?

[so1987-deactivated20230102]

okay

these are the executive functions. impairment of these functions is executive dysfunction

[dailypattondoodles]

Oh.

OH

[lurlur]

Girl, help. None of my executives are functioning

[thesnowflake18]

His real apology

[prokopetz]

You are an unreliable narrator because your coping mechanisms for your deep-seated trauma forbid you from acknowledging the reality of the situation. I am an unreliable narrator because I sincerely have no idea what the fuck is going on.

[a-birdhorse]

If only someone could invent a way to convert motivation and desire into a finished product :(

[heated-blanket]

they’re foreclosing on my mind palace

[a-birdhorse]

I haven't been able to pay my mind mortgage in months the mental bankers are closing in. I have six mind bullets left, five for them and one for me.

[goth-queen]