External* Monologue @bagel-with-creamcheese - Tumblr Blog

the hayden/ilya beef is NOT reciprocal. it's not that they're catty with each other. ilya is like you won't eat mushrooms what are you four? and hayden straight up replies with like i don't think you're deserving of love.

mrsbartlesby

The Centaurs, whenever someone from the press asks one of them to describe Ilya Rozanov.

imsodishy

does his fine plumage impress you?

motherofcatsandmess

$fractally blog's avatar$

fractally

I've said this before but if Shane and Ilya both play center in Ottawa (which is canon) there's no reason to think either of them would suffer points-wise. If anything they'd probably be putting up the best stats of their careers because you'd get the Hollanov Hurricane effect (Rozanov's line tearing up the defense and then Shane's precision plays finding every single free shooting lane)

I think their competition would be absolutely supercharged because they can control for more variables. They're always playing against the same team so it's truly head to head match ups in terms of who's putting up more points. You just know they're absolutely sick with it in front of the team too like everyone alllllways knows who's ahead

I think they treat selecting/training/trading for their wingers like horse racing. Like I think it'd become a league-wide thing where everyone's sorta always auditioning. Bood's gotta retire eventually right.

Anyway yeah this was inspired by some "Shane suffering on the second line" stuff because that's not really how hockey works, they could basically just have two first lines and take equal face offs. Wiebe is gonna end up in the hall of fame as a coach and thanks god---just one single time---for homophobia

omega-springsteen-truther

I’m sick and tired of found families we need more found toxic workplace environments

littlewickedthings

Austin Pardun

birdonawire

now why would a married man in his 30’s with a wife and a child he loves pray to be taken over by an angel. what could possibly move him to want to prove his love to god enough to give up everything he is. the answer of course is that jimmy novak was gay, but you all knew this already

birdonawire

the same way i mean. why would jimmy specifically have a craving for cheeseburgers. it makes little sense with supernatural’s picture of the suburban midwestern family life with a wife that uses fresh produce to cook, they are not a burger eating family. dean eats burgers, truckers, hunters, and the lower class eat burgers, with their hands, in greasy paper with cheap meat. not people like jimmy novak whom the angels speak to. this specific appetite, strong enough to pervade an angel of the lord, is so opposite to what both jimmy and cas are supposed to embody. this of course, as you may have figured, is because both jimmy and cas are gay

jewelcoatfish

sleepy ilya blinking at shane asking “what time?” in russian and shane replying “7” in russian because ilya sometimes can only remember to speak russian when he’s barely awake

so sometimes they speak russian for the first fifteen minutes of waking up, ilya asking short questions and shane giving short answers. ilya doesnt stress about having to translate in his brain when he’s barely awake, and shane’s just so happy hearing ilya’s sleepy russian.

lateghost

It's heartbreaking to think how if Shane had realized that his initial draw to Ilya was in fact attraction, if he had known he was gay at that time he never would have approached him in that parking lot.

Something tragic in the idea that him being unaware of himself and his desires was the only way he was going to actually let himself want and to act on it.

jewelcoatfish

shane buying a new bottle of hand soap because ilya made an off hand comment a few days ago that he liked the smell of jasmine on his hand. ilya picked up the bottle and asked “you bought different soap? i thought you liked the texture of the old one?” and shane said “well yeah, it’s the same texture, but it has the jasmine scent you like”

and ilya tears up because well the last person that cared that much about how he wanted things is svetlana having his fav scent in her oil diffuser out whenever he visits and put out his fav set of bedsheets and gets him things he couldn’t remember saying he wanted and now there’s shane who loves him too.

and so he called svetlana and went “he remembers i like jasmine hand soap” in that teary voice that sounds so out of nowhere but sveta understands. sveta always understands. and sveta tells him yes because you deserve to have people knowing things about you, and shane loves you, and i love you, and i am so happy someone loves you enough to buy that soap you like.

chachi-baby

I like to imagine Rose’s brothers gave her shit for not sticking it out with Shane Hollander long enough for him to meet the family then when they find out it’s because Shane is gay they give her shit for not passing him along to one of them and she’s like??? you’re not gay??? to which they’re like !!!! everyone’s gay for Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov ain’t special

snail-mail-33

okay okay so, because of Yuna "slut him out" Hollander, the whole world already thinks Shane is a hot mfer but Ilya, whilst obviously an attractive man, has not had the same exposure. Like he's done interviews shirtless and posted things on insta that made enough people feral so he has a small but determined army of stans, but it's not like a universally accepted fact that he's hot af. Most people only see him almost completely engulfed in hockey gear being an asshole.

So when Hollanov is revealed, there's probably a bunch of outrage about how Shane could do better etc. Ilya is not too bothered about this (because he agrees) but Shane is fuming. So he sets Yuna on the case who gets him a very horned up Ciroc advert and a joint Calvin Klein campaign and the entire world is like omfg my bad good pull Shane lol #beefcake4beefcake