bambi

i got adhd so i just binge post things i’m hyper-obsessed with; 26

[bambismoonlight]

Dionysus: I rolled an 18

Athena: Again with disadvantage

Dionysus: Nat. 20

Athena: You’re still not having drunk sex with the dragon

Dionysus: YOU’RE A TYRANT OF A DM!

[bambismoonlight]

Apollo: So . . that’s a . .?

Hermes: A baby. His name is Dionysus. I’m supposed to be watching him.

Apollo: What do we do with him?

Hermes:

Apollo:

Baby Dionysus: 🥺

Hermes: Frame him for our crimes?

Apollo: Yes.

[bambismoonlight]

Greek Gods as DND Players

Zeus: Continuously leading the narrative despite not being the DM and being told to stop numerous times

Poseidon: Gives villains a ridiculous ultimatum in exchange for not dying

Hades: Tries to be reasonable and then initiates combat 2 minutes into a conversation

Hera: Does whatever she wants and people got tired of arguing with her about the rules

Hestia: Plays the cleric that keeps rolling nat. 20s for everything

Demeter: Pulls out the 5th edition Player’s Handbook anytime she’s told she can’t do something

Athena: The only player actually following the quest

Ares: The barbarian who threatens first and then asks questions later

Apollo: Genuinely confused, but is enjoying himself nonetheless

Artemis: States she’s gonna play the badass and sassy character but is mainly quiet throughout the campaign

Hephaestus: The player that actually wants to help and be useful but keeps rolling nat. 1s

Aphrodite: Really isn’t interested and is just vibing

Hermes: Actively trying to turn against the party for no reason

Dionysus: He keeps trying to seduce a dragon and the DM is considering making a “no dragon sex” rule

[bambismoonlight]

Athena: I hate you.

Ares: I hate you too.

-

Ares’s Army: We’re going to overthrow Athens.

Ares: Tf you ain’t. That woman scares me more than I do respect her

[bambismoonlight]

Zeus: I have a job!

Hades: What are the key responsibilities for your job?

Zeus:

Zeus: With no responsibilities, I’m doing my job quite well.

[bambismoonlight]

Zeus: I love all my children.

Hades: Including the only 4 you have with your wife?

Zeus: Hera and I have 4 kids?

[bambismoonlight]

a follower of Apollo . .

Me being optimistic in the morning: We are going to have a great day, Apollo!

-sees it’s going to be dark and dreary all day-

Me: Okay, well fuck you too.

[bambismoonlight]

I don’t vilify Gaston. Imagine the woman you’re into mysteriously reappears after her deranged-viewed father is about to be locked up, and announces to everyone that she was held captive by a wolf/bear human hybrid, whom she caught feelings for (and is kinda lowkey, highkey, all-the-keys hinting at being into beastiality). I’d be freaked out as well.

[bambismoonlight]

Apollo, picking petals off a flower: he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me no-

-

Hyacinthus: wait, what happened?

Artemis: just hurry up and come with me, he hasn’t stopped crying for almost 4 hours

[bambismoonlight]

Me: wonders why my deity Apollo is so cruel to me

Also me: describes him as a petty cry baby

[bambismoonlight]

Persephone: So yeah, to sum it all up I saw someone hitting on my husband and I turned them into a plant.

Hera: Child’s play but it’s a start.

[bambismoonlight]

Hera: you’re a disgraceful man whore

Zeus: we don’t slut shame on this mountain

[bambismoonlight]

Stray Kids as Greek Gods

Bang Chan - Hestia:

Stable with a nurturing heart. Regardless of any conflict, they approach it rationality and with compassion. Also, slowly losing the will to live because of their family.

Changbin - Dionysus:

A sweetheart, but chooses chaos. Has the mentality of, “it’s a new day everyone, good luck.”

Lee Know - Demeter:

Animal-loving tiger mom. Will kill you if you touch their children. Will also kill you if you get closer then 12ft from them.

Han - Artemis:

An upbeat personality that quickly goes away from having to interact with people. Gives tough-love without the love part.

Seungmin - Hermes:

A nuisance that murders.

Hyunjin - Apollo:

Petty and passionate artist who cries a lot. Absolute perfection.

Felix - Persephone:

50% of the time is a ray of sunshine and the other 50% is a ray of sunshine but dressed in black.

I.N. - Zeus:

The youngest sibling who is the leader. (tbh, he’s too pure for Olympus)

[bambismoonlight]

Apollo: Why are you crying?

Hermes: Dionysus drew his first wrong direction arrow. I’m so proud of him, six people died.

Apollo:

Apollo: *tearing up* You are a great mother.

[bambismoonlight]

New Years Eve at Olympus:

• Zeus: drunk asf by 8pm and hitting on his (i would say distant, but let’s be fr) cousin

• Hera: started drinking as soon as she got there and plotting to kill Zeus when the New Year comes around

• Demeter: she’s not there

• Hestia: responsibly drinking while trying to ease conflict and tension within the family

• Poseidon: drunk asf before he even got there with Amphitrite trying to save face

Hades: forced to go because of Persephone

Persephone: only wanted to go so she could have some fun without her mother there

• Athena: one glass of champagne that she took to get Dionysus to shut up, knowing full well she’ll be the designator to get everyone home safe

• Artemis: wanting to go home within the first 20 minutes, but stayed to babysit Apollo

• Apollo: crying to Hermes about every tragedy in his life

• Hermes: acting the same as if he was sober, convincing people to make bad decisions

• Hephaestus: initially sober, then went on a drunk rant about how Ares is a dick

• Ares: was not invited and only knew about it because Athena told him

• Aphrodite: still bitter that Hephaestus didn’t gift her divorce papers for Christmas

• Dionysus: no one has seen him in a while and they are starting to worry

[bambismoonlight]

Ares: we’re the black sheep of our family

Eris: for opposite reasons, they find me inferior and you insufferable

Ares: okay, trauma bonding isn’t your thing either

[amore0429]

[bishopsbox]

Girl after the masquerade (La petite masque), 1906

Joven después del baile de máscaras (La petite masque), 1906

by/por: Jacques Émile Blanche