She can stop being fragile about that one friend she had & start providing childlike whimsy if she wants to be treated less like a parasite that drains emotion
I’d love love love if you wrote more with your human Rocky and Adrian!! I’d love to see them getting close (platonically!) with reader. They’re like the uncle/aunt/whatever the neutral is who keeps sneaking their niece/nephew/nibling candy after they were told no.
Also I’m a sucker for platonic overprotectiveness so if you wanna do anything with that.. but take your time I love seeing your stuff come out :]
Of course! It also gives me a chance to expand on them being human/human adjacent outside of the GOP (Garden of Prisoners) AU.
Spoilers for Project Hail Mary and Iron Lung so be aware!
Project Hail Mary x Iron Lung x Reader (platonic!)
Reader is 20, Simon is late thirties, Grace is early forties, Rocky and Adrian are old ass aliens.
MDNI
Masterlist Here!
TW: light angst, vomiting.
—
Being put into a medically induced coma wasn’t fun, especially when the reason was fatal starvation. Rocky, the humanoid alien that had helped your adopted dad save the stars, had brought you all to his home planet.
You and your dads had barely made it due to a lack of resources. Even though you’d brought your own onto the ship, sharing everything between three people didn’t make it last long. Rocky had his own food and could go much longer without it, while three days for you and your dads was enough to cause blackouts.
Rocky had communicated with a team of Eridian scientists and doctors while you prepared to land, explaining that these weird, leaky aliens he found were very important to him. You stayed floating in their orbit, then put into comas once you were finally able to land. The Eridians kept you all on the Hail Mary until they were able to build a room in one of their labs that wouldn’t immediately kill all of you, finally able to start proper medical care.
Simon was the first to wake up, his mutations having made him most immune to the starvation. Grace woke up next, probably out of pure spite, he’d survived this long and wasn’t about to let starvation take him out.
You..weren’t awake yet.
Adrian had become acquainted with Simon and Grace quite fast. The Eridian had become the lead scientist behind the biodome project, a way of expressing their deepest appreciation for their mate being brought home to them after being separated for so long. Adrian watched, observing how attached Rocky had become to these strange creatures he found in space, dedicating themself in turn to making sure the humans would survive.
Rocky grew incredibly worried after you hadn’t woken up, obsessively checking your vitals and working himself into the ground to try and make you healthy enough to open your eyes. Adrian on more than one occasion found the other passed out at his desk or leant over your bed, your heart monitor beeping slowly and your breaths wheezing out of you.
Adrian brushed some hair from your face and cupped your cheek, feeling how cold your skin was and how your body trembled minutely. Rocky was asleep, face pressed into the blanket of your bed and arms holding onto your legs, brow furrowed even in his sleep. Their hearts ached for their mate, for you, steeling themself and turning back to the plethora of machines surrounding the bed.
Adrian would not let you die.
—
“Mmn..” why did everything ache? Where were you? How long had you been asleep? A groan was ripped from your chest, the dim lights in the room allowing you to slowly open your sensitive eyes, “what is two plus two?” You stared up at Armando, blinking slowly, not responding as your brain struggled to catch up. A robotic voice echoed somewhere nearby,
“eye movement detected”
Loud footsteps rushed closer and closer until the familiar sound of an airlock and the swooshing of air graced your ears, pushing yourself up on weak arms into an upright seat. Rocky, in a flexible xenonite suit, rushed up to you and cupped your face. He turned it this way and that, frantically checking you over, “[Name] feeling okay? Question. Rocky needs to be told if there’s pain. Statement.” Armando spoke again,
“What is two plus two?”
“Four..” you croaked out, disarming Armando’s check-in sequence. Rocky poked and prodded for a moment, making sure you weren’t about to keel over before you wrapped the Eridian up in a hug. He froze for a moment before swamping you in all four of his arms, making a whistling tone that sounded like relief.
“My harmony?” You looked over Rocky’s shoulder, gasping at the new Eridian stepping into the room. Based on the descriptions that Rocky had told you up in space, you knew who this was.
“Adrian?” God. Your voice sounded actually terrible. They were tall- taller than anyone you’d ever met, built strong and powerful. Their deep brown skin looked tough like Rocky’s, teal hair tied back high. They were dressed in a dark gray uniform with jangling earrings and necklaces decorating them, making pretty sounds as they stepped up.
The Eridian smiled kindly, assessing the machines on the other side of the bed, “Hello small one, I’m glad we get to finally meet. I am Rocky’s mate, Adrian. Everyone was very worried about you, I’ll let Grace and Simon know you’re awake.” Rocky refused to let you go, even as Adrian took your vitals and radioed the biodome to alert Grace and Simon.
Suddenly, the room was bustling with life. Your bed was surrounded by different Eridians as they had you answer questions, sign a few forms (that Rocky translated for you) and get you up and walking so you could bathe and get your muscles used to moving again.
You tired out quickly, in and out of sleep as you were thoroughly taken care of. Man- everyone was very determined to not let you die. Simon and Grace sat with you to make you more comfortable, waking up a few times to them talking by your bedside or helping by answering and questions the Eridian doctors had.
Then you woke up alone, room dim, machines beeping, by yourself. Waking up alone scared you more than it really should’ve, having come extremely used to someone watching you sleep. You heard the heart monitor pick up as your breaths came out choppy and short, gripping your blanket in fear as you sat up to try and calm down.
The world spun for a moment and you wretched all over yourself, losing vital nutrients to the blanket and the front of your clothes. Tears dripped down your face as you panted, hearing the airlock and footsteps, but not registering that anyone was there until large hands cupped your face, “poor dear..” Adrian mumbled, “woke up all alone. I thought I told-“ they sang notes you couldn’t understand, the translator unable to help, “-to watch you. I’m so sorry dear.” They grabbed a sterile towel from the bedside table and wiped your tears and vomit away, “let’s get you changed.” They helped you stand and tossed your blanket aside to be dealt with later. You stood there ashamed and awkward, feeling dramatic and uncomfortable,
“I’m sorry..” you croaked, sniffling like a child who’d gotten in trouble. Adrian cooed, ushering you to the bathroom, “it’s alright. Your body is still healing, this is normal.” You changed into fresh clothes after cleaning up and Adrian called for someone to remake your bed. You settled back in after drinking some water and eating a small snack. It kind of resembled crackers? It was weird, but not unwelcome.
Rocky was by your beside not a moment later, “apology apology apology. Should have been here. Should have been watching.”
“It’s okay Rock, I’m alright.” Rocky frowned, holding your hand in two of his, “[Name] wake up scared and alone, will not happen again. Statement.” You smiled dumbly, tired and delirious, “I believe you.”
“My harmony, [Name] should be well enough to transfer to the biodome soon. They’ll be much more comfortable there.”
“When can [Name] be moved? Question.” Adrian sang notes the translator didn’t know yet, making Rocky smile, “so soon soon soon!” He turned back to you, “Will be happy in biodome with Grace and Simon! Room prepared and everything!”
“My own room?” The two Eridians smiled, “yes yes yes! Own room! Nice bed and big window! Grace said [Name] would love love love nice view of beach.” You giggled, tears springing to your eyes again, but you were passing back out.
Adrian placed a firm hand on your head, warm through the suit, “sleep. We will watch.” You let your eyes slip shut, panic gone and a warmth in your chest.
—
That’s it for now! Hope you enjoyed! Have a nice day and stay safe!
everyone say thank you soupie for bringing this good soup AU to our attention. here’s some pre-grace eridian!reader headcanons
-Absolutely, 100% canon that you become mates with Rocky and Adrian after they’ve already been a mated pair for several decades. They hadn’t been looking for another mate but you just kind of stumbled into their lives and they immediately became enamored.
-You love the two more than life itself and vice versa. Rocky and Adrian love their small, quiet mate just as you are.
-They’re the breadwinners of the household, something they’re very proud of, to provide for you and any future hatchlings.
-On several occasions, you get cornered by jealous Eridians who can’t fathom how you managed to pull your two mates and press you relentlessly on how you did it. You’re small and smooth! Hard to see! How did they notice someone like you? You don’t have answers for them, because you don’t know yourself. You sink closer and closer to the ground as they loom over you before you’re able to find an opportunity to flee.
-Once, when you’re cornered again on your daily walk, you were so distressed you didn’t even hear your huge mate approach until they were standing over you, protecting your trembling body from view. Adrian let the bullies have it and you were never cornered again.
-Nothing pleases you more then watching over your mates when they sleep, feeling so honored that they trust you to do so. Since Adrian is so big, you usually settle yourself down on top of them in a perfect, you-sized dent in their carapace until they wake up. Rocky is more your size, so you usually tuck into his side while he sleeps.
-In turn, they love watching you sleep. Adrian keeps you encircled in their front arms, tucked close to their carapace and keeping you warm like you would an egg. Rocky also keeps you within the protection of some of his arms while his others tinker with some gadget to keep himself busy.
-When Rocky is recruited for the space mission to find a solution to the dying sun, you’re in shambles. It couldn’t have been a safe mission, no one had ever traveled through space before, so who knew if he would come back. Adrian is even worse, and when Rocky does finally leave, they enter an immense depressive state for a while.
-They won’t eat, they won’t sleep, they don’t go to work. You watch over them, offering songs of comfort. It came to a point where you had to threaten to feed them yourself if they didn’t. It takes a couple of years before they’re able to pick themselves up and get back to a somewhat normal life. When Rocky doesn’t come home within the projected time estimate, your shared hope gets lower and lower and you start to come to terms with the fact that your mated group now only consisted of two members instead of three.
-You don’t believe the officials that come to your home on day to frantically tell you and Adrian that an alien ship had showed up in orbit and your mate was on board. It was too good to be true. But they hadn’t been lying. And suddenly your life changes in ways you'd never pictured. Your mates are never home, working tirelessly to construct a habitable living area for the dying alien Rocky had with him.
-It made you nervous, this alien. Was it dangerous? Rocky didn’t seem to think so. In fact, he was treating this creature like another mate and was so worried about it he actually got sick.
-Yours and Adrian’s reunion with Rocky wasn’t quite the reunion you’d hoped for- rushed and distracted. You didn’t fault Rocky for that, it was obvious this alien meant a lot to him. Given how long he was gone, he’d probably had a lot of time to form a bond. But it still hurt.
-Once the alien was settled, healthy and thriving, the three of you were able to properly enjoy each other’s company again for the first time in nearly a century. You were showered with apologies and trills and gifts. Rocky gave you a little round thing from earth he said the alien had gifted him. It was squishy and made of a threaded material you'd never seen. You loved it.
-Rocky and Adrian eventually begged you to come meet the alien but you refused. You were nervous to meet this being that Rocky held so near and dear. You were extremely intrigued by it, but it scared you. Adrian warmed up to the alien pretty quick too, telling you how nice it was and how it had helped save your planet.
-You politely refused until you couldn’t handle their begging anymore and relent to their pleas. They’re so excited to bring you into the alien habitat. You tell them not to get their hopes up and that this was probably just going to be a one-time deal.
-Jokes on you because you’re immediately charmed by the tall, skinny thing from another planet. It’s all downhill from there.
i’m curious how ya’ll are picturing your eridian selves? as a self proclaimed yellow lover, I’m picturing a little citrine gal for me, but what about the 5 other eridan!reader lovers out there??
Ryland meantion to rocky ONCE on the trip to erid about The Paper and his blowup and his insecurities with not being taken seriously in his field
Now, on erid, anytime anyone even makes a small joke that MAY be taken as undermining Grace's intelligence/talents both Rock AND Adrian are ready to throw down for his honor
Eidian 1: How old is Savior Grace?
Grace: oh my math might be a little off, but probably around 35? Maybe closer to 38?
Eridian 2: *looks at rocky and adrian* pebble snatchers lol (joking)
Rocky: YOU INSULT GRACES INTELLIGENCE!?
Adrian: small minded to judge a species with a completely different developmental speed.
Rocky: GRACE IS NOT A PEBBLE! GRACE IS BRAVE SMART CAPTAIN SCIENTIST!!!
Adrian: he is a fully grown adult for his species and he should be treated as such. You will show him respect.
This post is a joke (kind of), I think Rocky is a highly intelligent and developed individual.
Rocky seeing them enter Erids atmosphere: Grace? Grace, Have question.. Grace?
Grace, half fucking dead from starvation and scurvy: What?
Rocky: Grace know Rocky saved life right? Grace know Rocky smart and know rocky warm? Grace know that? Rocky and Grace save stars, remember?
Grace, half conscience: Yea buddy.. why?
Rocky: Grace not leave rocky for prettier carapace? 👉👈 Question?
Grace: What??
Rocky: Rocky protect and watch grace sleep. Rocky take care of grace. Rocky strong! Rocky love grace! Grace is rockys.
Grace, oblivious: I know..I love you too budddy
Rocky: Good good good!..uh..Rocky also have something to tell grace but grace has to get real chill with a lot of things real fast.
Grace: *thinks hes hallucinating* Huh??
Rocky: *puts on shirt* By the way don't tell anyone ive been naked this whole time. Theyll take away my engineering license. Also.. Eating is not considered beautiful. Sorry. Rocky is just a freak. Thought it was funny at the time and it just esculated but now Im realizing how screwed up that was. Again- sorry. Anyway! Adrians going to be stoked, Theyve always wanted a third.
Obsessed with the idea of Grace fully assimilating into Erid's society, meaning he becomes an Eridian teacher.
"Teacher" isn't really an profession on Erid like it is on Earth. Their school system is set up in development stages and pebbles move up as they're ready. Eridian teachers are more accredited caretakers than they are focused on a specific subject, working to make sure the young of their city or village are developing the best they can. Less "we're going to sit down and learn division" and more "this is a structured place pebbles go to hang out with a qualified Eridian who can nurture them." For smaller education stages, it's normal to drop your kids off for days at a time.
Grace expects to be a science teacher, but then he becomes an Earth-studies expert, which then turns into a general education teacher. They're curious about his planet! He's teaching both English and Eridani, social studies, science, and art at the same time. Grace has no complaints—it's incredibly rewarding and an honor that Eridians trust him to help their children grow.
His classes range from Eridians just a little smaller than Rocky to little pebbles he can carry around like a football. He loves his older kids, but his favorites are the little ones he has to teach things like walking in a line and how to raise one arm when four are on the ground. They're just... so bad at being alive. Some days he can barely believe the sea of skipping stones chirping around his feet are sentient beings.
Functionally, they're kindergartners, but unlike ones on Earth that Grace had to do observations of for his credential, these ones come with a certain... expectation for his job.
This results in a unique predicament: five pebbles on his doorstep.
The artificial Sun has barely touched the horizon and they're just... there. A group of little ones from his youngest class chirp at him in their bio-dome suits, the less coordinated of them rocking back and forth in little xenonite hamster balls.
The teacher just stares and listens to the chorus of little clicks and stomps (read: angry taps, the heaviest of them is 20 lbs in the dome) for a second. He has to be dreaming—a messed up nightmare where someone abandoned five entire children on his doorstep before he's even had a cup of coffee.
Rubbing his eyes and pinching his arm doesn't make the little guys go away. Any other day he'd go grab Adrian or Rocky from the bedroom, but the pair are off at a science conference a few cities over and won't be back until that night at the earliest.
"Parent said give this to Mr Teacher Grace," the largest of them, Orange, bonks his right calf with a tablet.
Grace takes it and squints, tracing his fingers over the writing. It's fluent, true Eridiani written with elegant penmanship—not the pidgin he's fluent in. There's an attempt to break apart certain words, but most of it is incomprehensible.
♮! Grace-Doctor-Savior-Captain-Teacher-AdrianRocky-Mated𝄐 ... ♮. Parent back by λV̶.V̶V ... ♯ ? Erid teacher ... Dome ... Already fed ... ♮ !Thank you𝄐
Like Grace has been doing since he met his first Eridian at Tau Ceti, he shrugs, says, "what the heck, sure," and goes with it.
Orange, Marble, Burrata, Turnip, and Plum are great students. Some one-on-one time would be good for everyone. It's an honor to be trusted like this, really.
He can handle 5 free-roaming pebbles for 24 hours.
"Please, come on in," he smiles and bows with the confidence of a man who has only ever done this through the auditorium's thick barrier.
Grace thinks this might have been easier if more than one of them could form actual sentences. Orange happily points and says a few words, but the others just stomp and chirp nonsense that kind of translates as emotion in the human's mind.
By the time the marine layer fogs the windows, he's sure his baseboards are never going to be the same. The biggest in their xenonite suit has clipped the hallway corner enough times that there's a chip taken out of it. There's a reason Orange is still in his youngest group—they're incredibly bright and creative, but they're still working on the locomotor skills needed to execute those ideas.
His ankles are bruised from the balls hitting them. Not stepping on them becomes a challenge. It's like bumper cars, but Grace is a giant in the middle of the track that was once his kitchen.
Grace gets a moment of peace from placing them into the nest in the bedroom. The stair platforms Rocky and Adrian take turns sitting on surround the mattress the human lays on, creating a little fenced in nook. It works great for watching each other sleep, but it's purpose now becomes pebble jail. Four of them settle down and starfish easily, snuggling down with happy little chirps that squeeze his heart. Burrata gets their little legs tangled in a blanket and the resulting struggle is like watching someone try to pick up noodles with chopsticks for the first time. Grace feels so bad that he lets them all back out.
It isn't until the sun is fully in the sky that he decides to integrate them into his day and go about as normal.
The kids get beckoned into one of the sleds for transporting his teaching equipment to the amphitheater. It takes at least ten minutes to get them all down to the garden—he ends up putting marble in his pocket—without them falling out.
They're all eager to help and soon he's on his knees in the dirt, surrounded by an excited thrum.
"I don't know what the word for this is," Grace pats the bundle of what he can only describe as a zucchini-carrot cross hanging off a large stem, "but it doesn't kill me, so."
"♮?♫♪♩𝄐" Orange's claw points and there's an agreement from the rest of the group.
"Yeah, that sounds about right."
Plum points at Grace, back to the vegetable, and then back to the human. They punctuate a rumble with two little stomps of a back leg.
Grace knows that one. He takes out the small notebook he keeps in his back pocket and unclips the heavy charcoal pencil on the cover.
"On Earth it's kind of like a zucchini. It's more," Grace gestures towards his mouth with the pencil, "sharp to my mouth. Which is fine, that makes it taste different than other things. Humans need variety."
"Sharp," Marble echoes. They jazz two hands clumsily and Grace tries to keep a straight face, but it's a little like watching a meatball become animated for the first time.
He coughs and starts digging the charcoal into the paper, "Now, I'm by no means an artist..."
Gardening turns into making pickles. Grace is a little jealous that the pebbles learn anaerobic respiration faster as kindergartners than he did as a freshman in undergrad. They parrot back the Eridani words for some of the concepts, but they're honestly more excited about the bubbles than they are learning about heterofermentative processes and decarboxylation.
Making pickles turns into watching Grace cook, which becomes it's own chemistry lesson. Orange sits on the counter and Plum, Marble, and Burrata go in the fruit bowl. Turnip bravely conquers fire and Grace helps them use a spatula to flip a piece of bread in the pan.
Once they're knowledgeable about the wonders of sandwich creation, they politely banish Grace to the soundproof bedroom while he eats. Normally he eats over a lesson plan or movie on his laptop, but listening out for any pebble xenonite-ball accidents keeps him entertained.
He's expecting a three Eridian pile up, but it never comes.
Grace finishes eating and goes out to check on his houseguests to find them all tuckered out around the coffee table. He plucks them up one by one and puts them back into totally-not-pebble-jail for safe keeping during quiet time. It's a task done in a few quick trips—Grace has dumbbells heavier than Orange. Marble and Plum can both fit in his arms.
There's protest when he goes to put Turnip down, so he settles down with them on his side. It takes a little work to find a position in the bed that doesn't crush anybody, but soon all five pebbles scoot up against their teacher. Grace takes the quilt from over the closest platform and covers the lot of them. Burrata scoots up to below his chin to avoid another incident, and the warm xenonite against his skin has Grace's breathing growing heavy.
Quietly, the front door shuts and two pentads of claws click across hard floor. The taller of the pair starts to sing Grace's name, but is quickly interrupted with an angry stomp.
"Adrian will sleep on couch if wake mate-Grace," Rocky trills and pokes his partner's arm through the xenonite suit. "Rocky put things away, mates stasis together."
The taller Eridian scuttles off to the far side of the bungalow, quietly rumbling as they take in the uncharacteristic mess of the place.
Rocky sets down a heavy bag of trinkets from their travels on the table and hums quietly at the thought of Grace opening them tomorrow morning. They'd been bickering over a "backsplash" for the human's food preparing station for awhile, and he had found a beautiful cut of intricately patterned xenonite at the market that Grace should love.
A high pitched whistle from Adrian has Rocky scrambling out of his thoughts.
"Song, come quiet."
Blunt claws slide across the smooth floor as the shorter Eridian shoots over, frantic clicks bouncing off the soundproof wall their human insisted on in their own home. It's not quiet, but it's urgent.
"Mate-Grace okay, question?"
He slides into Adrian's with a hollow thunk. Rocky stomps worriedly, rumbling and pausing when the sleeping body of their mate bounces back with five little shapes.
"There's pebbles in our nest, song."
They rumble and click together in the doorway for a moment. Rocky's hum picks up, gently thrumming against their mate. The connection buzzes with life—adoration, pride, want. The mates' contentedness echos across the space, kept a piano symphony to not wake their sleeping third.
"Grace very good with them," Rocky chimes with a low whistle and steadies himself against Adrian. "Mates very lucky."
Adrian hums with interest, tapping two claws together in thought. They still the movement and bring their hand up to their mate's carapace, gently petting the scarred surface through the thin layer of xenonite.
"Will talk tomorrow. Rocky, Grace, and pebbles sleep. Adrian watch."
Grace knows that Rocky has PTSD after the, well, everything. They've been stuck together for four years. He knows.
He understands.
They arrive to Erid, and one of the first things Grace does is playing for Adrian a little speech he made in Eridian using his recordings of Rocky's voice. And it's just... instructions. Mostly.
"He has a lot of anxiety about people's health and will probably freak out about yours at some point, don't dismiss it and let him see that you are okay."
"He is terrified of being alone, please make sure someone is physically close to him at all times."
"He is scared of falling asleep and will delay it as long as he can, you need to pay attention to his sleep cycle or he'll be hurting himself."
"He downplays everything bad that is happening to him, mental and physical, please keep an eye on him or he'll be ignoring his health completely."
"He never gave up, but I might die very soon and I'm not sure how he will react to it. Please be with him, even when it's not easy. He loves you. He wanted to return to you so badly. Even though he probably has changed, this is still him. Please keep loving him. He needs it more than ever. He'll need it when I am gone."
...Adrian is very annoyed because a) the fuck do you mean by implying that I'll leave him, b) the fuck do you mean by implying you know him better than I do (Adrian does have to begrudgingly accept this one later: Grace is objectively more familiar with Rocky's trauma responses), and c) the fuck do you mean you're gonna die no one's letting you die shut up and get into the lab we have science to do. They become friends fast, bonding over worrying about Rocky together.
(Rocky is not sure he likes it, but has to admit he can finally feel safe with the both of them by his side.)
I have very normal feelings about your Eridian Grace AU, I love it a normal amount and I would love to have some very normal conversations about it. I do not bite.
Here's some fanart and thoughts
The grammar accuracy is flipped because the comic is made from the Eridian perspective. Grace is still learning how to use the language properly. He gets his tones mixed up but he knows all the right words to use.
He knows how Rocky refers to him and Adrian together but he has yet to clarify what it means exactly. (I imagine the Eridian language has something fun going on with pronouns and names considering how much Rocky goes back and forth between saying "Rocky" and "I" in the movie. He clearly isn't saying his full name most of the time. Adrian's full name is probably 5 pet names weaved together)
Grace wants to make his own stuffed animals because he misses softness of things. Even if the feelings are a bit more dull, it's the mental comfort that matters. He tries to remember the colours of the fabrics and uses the "seeing" texture tech, but it's imperfect and without seeing colours he'll sometimes get them wrong. Not that he can tell.
It's supposed to be a fox.
Sewing is a good dexterity practice for him (I'm gifting him this hobby because I also made stuffed animals before)
"Can you sing me more?" for "Can you tell me more?"
Grace still feels himself make human expressions, inside his mind.
I gave Grace the shape of the hair I usually draw for his humansona.
I think your AU is really cool, and I would like to be friends and talk about ideas and headcanons, if that would be okay with you ^u^
imagine we make contact with an alien species that’s like, vastly technologically superior, they could fucking kill us in a single shot if they really wanted to
and this species has never eaten salad before. and we show them salad and they eat it and they’re like holy living fuck this is tasty. and suddenly they’re offering us huge houses with all kind of advanced technological shit and incredible medical care and all the amenities and everything, with the only condition that we keep making salad for them.
and like, salad isn’t even hard to make. grab some plants, dump em in a bowl. it doesn’t have to be fancy salad, they’ll fall all over themselves for the most mediocre salad in the world. we can make so much salad that we’re practically drowning in it, even if we eat some of the salad ourselves. and in exchange we’re protected from danger, we have great living conditions, it’s basically paradise compared to life on earth
my rooster doesn’t crow when the sun rises, he crows when he hears humans wake up, like you can literally just roll over in bed and he’s like “hoLY SHIT THAT’S A PEOPLE THE HUMAN ISAWAKE AHHH AHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”
the same rooster - god guys he’s so cute - he always lets hens eat treats first and won’t have any treats until they’ve had as much as they want, unless it’s a blueberry. shit, blueberries are like serious fucking business for Pharaoh. he’s a gentleman until the damn blueberries come out and then he don’t play no fuckin games
ppl on ao3 should use the "this work was inspired by" option more. so many fics out there that put links to other fics in the a/n but theres a better option.....
important addition i forgot that not everyone might know. similar to how ao3 bookmarks work, you can also link to non-ao3 fanworks using this format. so, for instance, if theres some fanart on tumblr that inspired you to write the fic? you can link that fanart to your fic!
Sorry, I don't speak CraftingTable. @bananaaddictmilkshake - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
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