I made a video discussing the viral "Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now" vogue article.
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@bardmars
I made a video discussing the viral "Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now" vogue article.
In capitalist society, it is impossible to recognize who’s running the show. State authorities are visible, but they don’t control the capitalist economy, which is why most people, even those who aren’t Marxist radicals, suspect that these state leaders are not the real authority figures. If the nation’s leader isn’t calling the shots, we assume that someone else must be responsible for our inability to attain a pure excess. Some hidden authority must be to blame. The absence of a visible head of capitalist society leads to paranoid suspicions about who is really in charge. Paranoia is the belief that a secret authority determines everything that happens in society while operating without the vast majority of the population knowing anything about it. Paranoid thinking recognizes the inadequacy of the nominal authority and invests in the idea of an adequate one existing somewhere behind the scenes. Because it offers someone to blame, paranoia is even more appealing than fetishism or debt. Thanks to paranoia, capitalism’s discontents have a target for their rage, which ensures that this rage will not disturb the functioning of the system. Unlike proletarian revolutionary fervor, paranoia is most often compatible with capitalism.
Pure Excess: Capitalism and the Commodity by Todd McGowan
Dr Suess art posting for no reason at all on this very normal day.
“Rich kids should go to public schools. The mayor should ride the subway to work. When wealthy people get sick, they should be sent to public hospitals. Business executives should have to stand in the same airport security lines as everyone else. The very fact that people want to buy their way out of all of these experiences points to the reason why they shouldn’t be able to. Private schools and private limos and private doctors and private security are all pressure release valves that eliminate the friction that would cause powerful people to call for all of these bad things to get better. The degree to which we allow the rich to insulate themselves from the unpleasant reality that others are forced to experience is directly related to how long that reality is allowed to stay unpleasant. When they are left with no other option, rich people will force improvement in public systems. Their public spirit will be infinitely less urgent when they are contemplating these things from afar than when they are sitting in a hot ER waiting room for six hours themselves.”
— Everyone Into The Grinder
how does a botany blog attract terfs 😭😭😭😭😭
1. im a trans guy so i destroy their ideology on sight but they cant just harass me normally like they would if i was a trans woman because they still can only think of me as a confused teen girl who got peer pressured into transing my gender at a party or something but All Women Are Good And Pure so they send me like, weird passive aggressive condescending shit instead and i guess like...honestly i dont know what they want? like for me to just be like damn youre right *untranses*?
2. i always had a policy against terfs on this blog but can't comb through everyone who follows it to weed out the clowns, so they just show up on occasion and always have, but specifically i made some response to a terf ask like 3 months ago and i cannot for the life of me remember what i was responding to to begin with but i must have gotten name dropped in the Le Epic Wombyn Discord Server or smth because every once in a while since they just like, roll past slowly in a clown car absolutely seething simultaneously unable to yell at me and unable to let me exist lmao
If I do something good because it makes me feel like a good person, is that technically selfish?
no, only if you're choosing to make others suffer to make yourself feel good
enjoying making other people happy is a great thing
There is a Jewish story about a wealthy man who came to his rabbi and said “I have decided to build an orphanage, can you put me in touch with the relevant people”
The rabbi was delighted to do it, and introduced the man to some charities. After a few weeks, the man came back to the rabbi.
“I have decided not to build the orphanage,” he said. “I realised that I was only doing it because I wanted to be admired as a philanthropist, my motives were selfish.”
The rabbi answered, “do you think the orphans will care what your motives were? Build the orphanage!”
I think there was a similar anecdote about Abraham Lincoln and a pig, but from the other direction
The Fable of Abraham Lincoln and the Pigs
Once Lincoln was traveling in a mud-wagon coach along a swampy, rural area. His fellow passenger was his good friend and US Senator Edward Dickinson Baker, who later lost his life in the Battle of Ball’s Bluff at the onset of the American Civil War.
While they were conversing in the mud-wagon coach, Lincoln remarked to Baker that in doing good and evil, all people are motivated by selfishness. Just as Baker challenged Lincoln’s assertion, their coach crossed a rickety bridge over a slough (a large swampy marsh.)
Abruptly, Lincoln and Baker glimpsed a mother pig making a terrible squeal because her piglets were stuck in the swamp, couldn’t get out, and were in danger of drowning.
As their coach started to head away, Lincoln yelled, “Driver, can’t you stop just a moment?” The driver replied, “If the other fellow don’t object.”
With Baker’s approval, Lincoln jumped out of the wagon, ran to the slough, lifted the piglets one by one out of the swamp, and carried them to the dry bank of the swamp.
When Lincoln returned to the coach, Baker remarked, “Now, Abe, where does selfishness come in this little episode?”
Lincoln replied, “Why, bless your soul, Ed, that was the very essence of selfishness. I would have had no peace of mind all day had I gone on and left that suffering old sow worrying over those pigs. I did it to get peace of mind, don’t you see?”
anyway I think the idea that good needs to be externally motivated and that the giver isn’t allowed to benefit from it, even inside their own head, is extremely puritanical and nature and can be discarded
Listen! The fact that other people's suffering affects us and makes us feel bad is a sign that we as a species ARE pretty good actually. Your good deeds are not "selfishly motivated"; they are motivated by 5-6 million years of evolutionary pressure towards caring for our fellow humans. Doing good things for others because it makes you feel happy and not doing cruel or neglectful things to others because that would make you feel sad is not a sign you are selfish. Its a sign you are a good person, because those structures that do those things still exist in your brain, like they are supposed to.
he was in the fridge!!!
ovbiously this person has done so much research and cares about their tortoise so much but.... the mf idea of having a live tortoise in a TUPPERWARE?! IN MY FRIDGE?? WITH ME FOOD? ahahahaha
the concept of opening someone else’s fridge only to find a WHOLE ASS TORTOISE in there... idk if I’d ever recover
@esperantoauthor when the food doesn’t come to Tesla, Tesla comes to the food
Reminds me of when I accidentally stumbled across this photo for the first time...
mutuals put me in your fridge
Back in 2015, I went over to a classmate's house for group project work late in the fall, and in the middle of working on the presentation, offered to grab sodas for people but they were out of pepsi and Andrew whose house we were at said "Oh, there's more in the basement fridge."
So I go down to the basement, which is well-lit and finished and indeed there are more pepsi but also in the fridge is a massive tortise. This animal was the dimensions of a desktop computer and probably outweighed a labrador. It's not moving, and is set in the middle of a plastic tray so it's apparently supposed to be there. I go back upstairs.
"Hey Andrew." I say, nonchalantly. "So is the tortise in the fridge down there for soup or what?"
"The what?" says the other member of the group project. I don't remember her name, just that she always wore her hair in pigtails with butterfly clips that were based on real butterflies and she had at least a dozen species.
"Oh! No, that's Andrew Too." he says. "His species hibernates so he stays in the fridge for the holidays."
"You named your tortise after you?" I ask.
"No, uh- Well, my grandfather got him in Egypt or somewhere while he was on leave during the war and He was named Andrew, so he thought it would be funny to name him 'Andrew Too'. ...Then Mom named me after him so Gandpa left me Andrew Too in his will. He's pretty cool when he's awake. Lets us dress him up for summer holidays, doesn't bark."
"Oh!" Said Butterflies. "My dad served in the Gulf War too! What unit was he in?"
"Oh no, Grandpa was with the Royal Air Force in World War Two. Andrew Too is going to be 70 this year! We're going to make him a carrot cake!"
i apologize for being nosy, and please don't answer this if you don't want to, but i remember a few years ago you had identified as asexual and i was wondering if you still do? i did for a long time but i'm with a new partner now and i'm starting to wonder if maybe the connection just wasn't right with anyone before and that's why i wasn't into having sex? is that normal? i mean, i identified that way for YEARS so i'm just. very confused at myself.
I mean listen, I’m in my 30s. These labels don’t mean a lot to me anymore. Like, literally everything is normal. Everything is fine so long as nobody’s feelings are being hurt. Don’t worry about some label that used to be useful maybe not being useful anymore. Thank it for its service and let it retire. Maybe one day it will be useful again. That doesn’t change anything about you, because you are, and always have been, a complex, multifaceted, constantly changing kaleidoscope of emotional and sexual needs, and “asexual” is just a word that helped you make sense of it for a while.
Like, y’all, give yourselves a break. Sex is complicated. Some people are straight their whole lives, and then they meet one person who changes everything. Some people are one thing for a while, then they’re another thing, then they go back to being the first thing. Some people stay one thing forever. Some people are really into something in their 20s that grosses them out to even think about for the rest of their lives. All if it’s normal.
The words you put on your orientation are not elementally a part of you. They are tools, and as tools they should serve a function. That function can be to help you understand and categorize your own experiences and desires. It can be to help you find a community. It can be to help you get laid. It can just be to set social expectations. These words can be a revelation when you first apply them to yourself: they can be life-saving. But you are not beholden to them.
“Idk, I thought of myself as ace for a long time, but I’m into my current partner, so like, enh? I’m having a good time and my partner and I are both happy, so I guess labels aren’t really useful to me right now” can be all you have to say on the subject.
“These words can be a revelation when you first apply them to yourself: they can be life-saving. But you are not beholden to them.”
Kids are being murdered and we are footing the bill. DEFUND ISRAEL !
Feminist Embroidery Art by Ruri Clarkson
I came across an exhibit of embroidered art in a shop in Shibuya, Tokyo a couple days ago and I thought I'd share some of the art and artist's statements on here. I think they convey a lot of ideas around gender and family in Japan from a Japanese feminist artist.
The title of the collection is 悶悶WORDS ― 家族のことば刺繍 2021 Imposing Words-Contemporary Family Matters
母 - mother Artist statement: "I take powerful words with loaded meaning and give them a body on a soft cloth to weaken it’s power. When I gave birth, everybody around me started to refer to me as “Mother” rather than by my name, as if my identity had gone suddenly from Ruri to “Mother” overnight. The word “Mother” is a spell that blinds people of the real woman
おひとりさま This word has two meanings. One meaning is one person/one customer. The second meaning is an unmarried woman without children over 30 years old.
美人 - Beautiful woman This word is made up of two characters. 美 means beautiful. 人 means person. Together they mean "Beautiful woman".
Artist statement: "ワーママ pronounced Wa-mama short for the English word “Working mom” is a term I started to hear last year. It’s a word that seems to be embraced by businesses and working moms alike. Japanese language incorporates many English words in such a manner to replace a Japanese word that became fraught with the ghosts of the past. Wa-mama exudes light-heartedness, independence and newness compared to the Japanese."
主婦 - Housewife "The word housewife triggers both feelings of adoration and condemnation. When someone called me “Shufu” for the first time a shiver went up my spine. It sounded like a failure to me because I was groomed and educated by my parents to work at a big corporation. The first character reading “Shu” also means God, so I adorned the doily with angels as if to ironically revere the Shufu."
第三号被保険者 National Health Insurance Type 3
"A typical beneficiary of National Health Insurance Type 3 is a housewife without income with a spouse who is a salary worker. Some people feel resentment towards these wives, as their insurance is paid not by their husband but from the pool of tax of the entire salary worker population."
世帯主 - Head of household
Japan has a family registry system (called koseki - 戸籍), Japanese law requires households to report births, deaths, marriages and divorces among other things, which are recorded in their register. The family register system has received criticism for privacy concerns, it contains a lot of personal information which can be makes discrimination against certain groups possible. There is also criticism as only Japanese citizens can be registered, so in the case of international couples with children the Japanese parent is registered as having the child but not the foriegn parent, they are registered in a different way to Japanese citizens. It is also very difficult for transgender people to change the gender in their family register they have to meet specific conditions including sterilisation.
A married couple must choose who will be the "head of the household", and generally it is the man (98% of head of households in Japan are men). If the couple is a foriegn man and a Japanese woman, then she is the defacto head of the household due to how the system treats foriegners differently to Japanese citizens.
Other members of the household must change their surnames to be the same as the head of household. Foriegners are exempt from this.
テレワーク Telework
"If you’re an office worker, working from home became standard this year. I remember I requested to work from home when I was having a difficult pregnancy 14 years ago, but they said “We can’t bend the rules just for you”
育メン "Iku-men means men who “help” raise their own children. “It’s not babysitting when it’s your own child!” is a line that comes to mind." Ruri Clarkson's website - twitter - instagram
17 year-old Juliane Koepcke was sucked out of an airplane in 1971 after it was struck by a bolt of lightning. She fell 2 miles to the ground, strapped to her seat and survived after she endured 10 days in the Amazon Jungle.
After ten days, she found a boat moored near a shelter, and found the boat's fuel tank still partly full. Koepcke poured the gasoline on her wounds, an action which succeeded in removing the maggots from her arm. Out of 93 passengers and crew, Juliane was the only survivor of the LANSA flight 508 crash that took place December 24th, 1971.
🔗Her story in her own words: https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-17476615
Juliane Koepcke is a Bad Ass!
Her book gives a small insight into how female survivors are treated: not as heroes, but as hypersexual psychopaths who, in her case, are relentlessly guilt-tripped and blamed for the catastrophic death of their loved ones ... all while the media is busy drawing sexualised cartoons and getting off on an underage girl's body.
^^^ Building off the above reply with some examples....
This was the first thing that stuck out to me, in her book:
If Juliane was a 17-year-old boy, her judgment calls & survival skills probably wouldn’t be passed off as a mere mistake/fluke. If she was a guy, people would lap that shit up and call her a Fine Boy Scout™.
Next is this passage:
“Now Father has lost his wife...” this thought never crossed Juliane’s mind, because she had no way of knowing if her mother was alive or dead. Juliane couldn’t find her mom after the crash. But notice how the media somehow managed to center the plight of a man in a story about *checks notes* a girl who braved the wilderness alone for 10 days after losing her mother in a plane crash.
Some media outlets floated the idea that, in addition to witnessing her mother’s death, Juliane had seen other struggling survivors as well & neglected to help them. This is false. It just goes to show that girls are villainized for taking care of themselves instead of taking care of everyone else—even when they’re all alone in the middle of the jungle, fighting for their own survival.
Juliane also came under scrutiny for her emotional state, after her rescue. Because she was traumatized and in shock, she didn’t react “appropriately” to her situation or grieve for her mother the way people expected her to.
As seen above, some voices in the media pathologized her understandable trauma response, treating her like a deranged sociopath.
^^^ This shit speaks for itself. Reminder that Juliane was just a child, a teenager.
Lastly, there actually is a 1974 movie about Juliane directed by Giuseppe Maria Scotese, starring Susan Penhaligon. The movie is called Miracles Still Happen. This is how the movie marketed her story:
And here’s how the media covered it:
So yeah. In conclusion, men are trash. And to wrap things up, I’ll leave you with this extremely tasteful comic strip by a (male) artist.
thank you so much for this valuable addition!! this is exactly what i was talking about!
old-fashioned guy
people are sooo against eating disorders until they take away the names and switch it to “dieting” or “health tips”
like ohh you don’t support eating disorders and think they’re terribly tragic? then why are you constantly talking about how you eat too much? why do you separate foods into categories like “guilty pleasures” and “guilt free treats”? why do you insist that the ultimate healthy diet is eating less and working out more? why do you think you have to work out a lot more if you ate something “"bad”“
why are eating disorders only bad if we’re being hospitalized, but if we’re drastically losing weight and dont have a diagnosis we’re “doing great”
why did i have to hear more and more compliments about my weight loss than people concerned because i was getting weaker and becoming even more tired than usual? why did people make me want to go back to starving myself because i want the compliments that they gave me when i was rapidly losing weight?
eating disorders are only seen in a bad light when people are either dead or dying, but if we’re just getting skinnier it doesn’t matter how we lost the weight- we’re seen as a success story because we turned out thin and thats what really matters right? being thin? thats the only goddamn important thing in this world
Multiply this by a thousand if you’re fat.
Most of “dieting culture” is actually deeply rooted in orthorexia, an obsession with only eating “pure” and “healthy” foods in controlled amounts. It’s currently not classed as an eating disorder in itself, but rather a symptom of disordered eating behavior that goes hand in hand with anorexia or bulimia.
It’s an obsession with eating only “the right foods” or a perception of “healthy, pure foods” and having “cleanse” days and “detoxing” when you slip up and eat either the wrong food or too much of something. Now, tell me that doesn’t sound like something you might read under Cosmo’s “top ten tips to lose belly fat for summer”, or hell, literally any health vlogger on youtube with thousands of subscribers claiming they cured their depression/cancer by doing the banana cleanse, which yes, is actually a real thing. Don’t do it. Please. Love yourselves.
A UK based study (can’t find it right now but I will add it in if I can) on eating disorders noted that those most likely to suffer from the symptoms of orthorexia are people who think they are “just dieting” or trying to be really healthy by following popular “pure” food movements like veganism and paleo, but to unhealthy extremes. Usually because they’ve been suckered in by popular food vloggers who argue violently against the validity of the term, or the notion you can ever eat “too healthily”, despite the term being coined by Dr Steven Bratman back in 1996, a physician well known for being an advocate for safe, alternative medicines and therapies for better health—so not just a “western physician” ragging on “pure alternatives” like a lot of these diet frauds claim.
Eating healthily is not about deprivation. The human body needs fat, it needs carbohydrates, it needs salt, and a whole host of other things people will try to convince you you need to eat 0 of, in order to be healthy.
Most of you know I got super sick at the start of the year from an horrendous virus that meant I couldn’t eat solids for almost six weeks, I lost a lot of weight very quickly, over 20lbs. And while I’ve managed to gain some of that back as I’ve gradually been able to increase my food intake (I am now up to roughly 1200 calories a day which is still too low for my size and age, but much better than the 200 I was living on for over a month) I’m still suffering the side effects of being forced to eat nothing but organic oatmeal and bone broth for all those weeks, including but not limited to hair loss, broken nails, skin that looks like absolute shit, and not to even mention the mental and physical fatigue I’m still suffering from over six months later.
And don’t get me wrong, I was eating healthy foods, I was enduring the “detox” dream so many magazines and health vloggers rave about. But the truth of it is, healthy humans aren’t made to live on those things alone, (and that’s not actually how the body detoxes itself, but that’s another rant for another time)—regardless of how healthy those things are.
You need to eat.
You are allowed to eat.
Fuck these disordered ideas of societal norms. You can be healthy and happy and worthy, without being thin.
Even if you are eating enough to get by, this doesn’t even begin to touch on the other mental health implications of disordered eating.
I was on a very strict diet for years, for athletic purposes. Yeah, it was enough calories and nutrients to get by, and it did what it was ‘supposed’ to do, but here I am 7 years later and I struggle with food. I’m a healthy weight, but I don’t handle social situations well when someone else serves. The first visit to my SO’s family 5 years ago, I had a breakdown after two days because their mother insisted on serving me, but it wasn’t food my body could handle well (lots of oil) and more importantly, I wasn’t in control of what I was expected to eat. Years later, I still can’t handle situations where I’m not control of what I’m expected to eat.
And that’s what it’s boiled down to for me, tbh.It’s a measure of control over my life. And I know I’m not the only one. Disordered eating impacts both your physical and mental health.
Anyway. That’s my piece. Be kind to yourself, cause society sure isn’t.
AI starting to beat us at all card and board games
”Why does the Oxford Dictionary of English portray women as ‘rabid feminists’ with mysterious ‘psyches’ speaking in shrill voices” who can’t do research or hold a PhD but can do ‘all the housework’?”
The Dictionary’s own usage example for sexism:
‘sexism in language is an offensive reminder of the way the culture sees women.’
“Shouldn’t the usage examples in this dictionary reflect that understanding?”
Video is a teacher talking to a classroom of deaf students.
Teacher: I want to talk about language today. When a child is born, what is the first thing the parents hear in the hospital?
Student: “Your child failed the hearing test.”
Teacher: Right. A baby is five hours old and he’s failed something already? What about the term “hearing loss”? What does that word evoke?
Student: Hearing is the norm. Deaf is less than. Lacking.
Teacher: Are we “less than”? Do you believe being deaf has taken away or added to your life? If someone invented a pill you could take it tonight and you would wake up hearing how many of you would take it? *looks around the room* None of you. Why not?
Student: Because being deaf gives you friends anywhere you go.
Teacher: Community.
Student: And a way of seeing the world that’s different from anyone else.
Teacher: Perspective.
Student: Hearing kids don’t know who they are. We do. We’re deaf: first, last, always.
Teacher: Identity.
Student: Hearing people think they have more than us…their lives are better. We have it so “hard.” But I’d never give up being deaf to be like anyone else. Never.
Teacher: Not hearing loss. Deaf gain.
Note: Please keep this transcript when you reblog this so that blind people (blind people use screen readers) are able to know what the video was talking about.